Learn to Love Again
by iamrotting
Summary: It'd been a few months being alone without her family-without Elsa. While Elsa had let her go, Anna couldn't. She wanted her love of her life back. But what would it take? What did she have to risk? (elsanna) RATED: M/ un-beta'd
1. Chapter 1

_a/n: y~yeah_ i _cant control myself. hopefully there'll be more chapters :D and hopefully, you'll enjoy (and not be confused) by the first chapter!_

* * *

"Momma, are we there yet, are we there yet?" Olaf urged, gently kicking against the back of his mother's driver's seat. The redhead let out a little smile, her hand coming up to fix the rear-view mirror. Through the reflection, Olaf's brightening grin was shown. She had never seen her son so happy - especially when things weren't exactly the way it used to be. Times were difficult.

This was refreshing.

"We'll be there in a minute, honey. How was school today?" She continued driving them slowly through the empty street. The neighborhood had always been quite bare but she didn't think it'd be this empty. Unlike the more crowded areas in the city, quietness was great here.

"Um…" Olaf jumped back up from his seat, his eyebrows scrunched in contemplation. "Oh! We learned about Christopher Columbus! Did you know he was the first person to discover America?"

Anna almost laughed. "No, I did not. That's incredible, Olaf. You learned quite a lot." _Wait until you get to high school, kid._

"Yeah! And we made little drawings of him, but I can't show you now because we haven't finished. Ms. Johnson also allowed us to nap more..."

While she drove around the corner of the street, Olaf continued to talk about his day in his first-grade class. Not that Anna didn't want to hear it… but she had been dreading to meet… with a special someone, that she could barely concentrate. Her grip tightened on the steering wheel, her eyes making a quick glance at the ring on her finger, the little diamond shining through the sunny day.

It'd been a couple months since… _that_ happened. But even after a couple of months, Anna still felt as if she had lost something she wasn't supposed to. Oh well. Was there even anything she could do? To voice herself just so there was a solution?

No… what had happened, happened - and there was just no solution.

"Momma, momma, she's here!"

Anna blinked, looking up front to her right to see a blonde leaning against her opened doorway, her arms crossed together. _Elsa._ The smile Anna noticed on Elsa's face was so wonderful and soft, and Anna could never get that out of her sight. She had thought the blonde would stay in the house but…

Well, the house looked exactly how it was when they still lived together.

Taking a deep courageous breath, Anna stepped on the brake and unlocked the doors. "Alright, sweetie." Olaf was already running to her mother's arms with his overly large backpack hanging around his shoulders.

"Mom!" He opened his arms to Elsa.

"Oh, how's my beautiful boy? How was school?" She laughed, getting down to her knees for a hug and kisses.

Anna couldn't help but just stare and smile at the wonderful sight once she got out too.

Olaf giggled, his feet bouncing up and down. "Mom, I learned a lot of things today! Ms. Johnson taught us history!"

Elsa raised her eyebrows in pretend surprise. "Oh? Well, I'm glad you enjoyed school today. Talked to any friends?"

"Mhm." He nodded. "Her name's Katherine, but kids call her Kat cuz she like cats."

She tilted her head, an eyebrow raised in curiosity. "Not… a girlfriend right?"

 _Slam._ The two turned their attention to Anna, her eyes glowing with happiness as she neared them. "Kat's a friend, isn't she?" She ruffled Olaf's black hair.

"Y-Yeah!" the kid exclaimed. "Remember? You said no girlfriends until… I'm an old man?"

"No girlfriend until you're _older_ , indeed."

"Oh, yeah, that."

Elsa sighed. "I'm glad you had fun, baby. Alright, now go on, there are snacks waiting for you in the kitchen."

He stuck his tongue out in pretend disgust. "Mom, not raisins again."

"No raisins. Carrots and pretzels."

Immediately, Olaf quickly ran inside to the house, kicking his shoes off. Carrots had always been his favorite snacks, so both Anna and Elsa never had to worry about nutrition.

The two watched the little man sing himself a little song as he grabbed himself a couple of baby carrots and a few pretzels before bringing himself to the couch for his evening cartoons. For a first grader, Olaf was quite an active one. Always wanting to go to school, always the first to wake up without her mother calling for him. Anna hoped it'd stay this way. Oh, and she could just watch him all day if that was possible.

She heard a sigh coming from Elsa as she pushed herself up to stand.

"He seems to be having a good day." Elsa grinned with all the love she had, her arms around her middle.

Anna scratched the back of her neck, chuckling nervously. "Well, when is he ever not having a good day?"

"Good point." Elsa shuffled her foot on the ground. "How… was your day?"

"Busy. I've been uh… hassled by my boss for quite a bit today. You?"

"Quiet."

The silence between them was just… overbearing. Anna still had a lot of questions to ask her… still had this confusion and anger grasping around her heart… just… pinning her like needles. But she knew not to talk… she knew not to hurt them even more than they should. But when had Anna never listened to herself?

Elsa's eyes were on her fingers. "You're still wearing the ring."

Anna immediately hid her hands on her back. "Um… it's… I couldn't get rid of it. I-I'll take it off if you want me-"

"No, it's fine. Leave it."

"Oh… okay." She took a deep breath, her eyes on the ground. This, normally, wasn't so awkward. "So… how's Hans?"

"Oh, well…" Elsa looked up to the sky. "We're doing pretty good. He's traveling right now, but he'll come back next week. He said he wanted to move in but…"

Anna crossed her brows. "But?"

She placed her arms around her body, blue eyes looking away. Oh, she'd do that whenever she felt insecure. But Anna wasn't going to push her to say anything that Elsa didn't want to.

"It's… it's fine if you don't want to talk about it."

"Anna-"

"No… I get it." She pursed her lips together. "If he wants to move in… that's fine with me. Although, it has nothing to do with me anyway."

"Anna, it has everything to do with you." Oh, she said that… but what they had become… had always been 'everything Elsa wanted'. But Anna wasn't going to be selfish to bring her down. Yes… she was jealous. She was angry. But Elsa's relationship… was not her choice or problem.

The silence that ensued them was just as overbearing as their very own marriage and the very ring that wrapped around Anna's finger. And she wondered still, why was she wearing it? Elsa wasn't. _Am I stupid?_

But Anna couldn't help but stare at her slender pale hands… the fingers that once loved her. The hands that once held hers. She bit her lip. "No, it's… it's fine. He's a good man, Elsa."

"He can be." There it was again-this stupid, stupid silence. But what was Anna ever going to say anyway? There weren't much to be said, and Anna knew how much it'd hurt to say the words that she wanted to say. "I guess… I should get back in. You'll come back tomorrow to get him for school?"

Anna nodded. "Yeah, he's my kid as well, Elsa."

She let out a heavy sigh. "That's not what I meant, Anna-"

"I… I know."

"Then tell me-"

"What happened to us?" There it was. The words that Anna had kept in this whole time. The words that kept her from sleeping every night-keeping her distracted from work every day. "We were…" She scoffed in disbelief. Suddenly her eyes blurred with tears that weren't supposed to come out.

"Don't do this now-"

Anna grimaced at the cold reaction. "Elsa, we were going to… rock the world. You know, I…" She hugged herself tightly. "It's been… _hard_. Getting over the fact that you just don't-"

"Anna, my feelings for you… or the lack thereof, I can't help it."

 _Hurt me more._ She nodded. She just had to accept this. "We were _fine_ , Elsa."

"We were… but I… I lost it. This feeling you and I had, I lost it."

" _Where did I go wrong?"_

"It's not you. It's just _me_."

How could she ever accept this? They were madly in love, they took care of each other-they had a baby named Olaf… and suddenly, Elsa had lost this love she had with Anna? Never once had Anna suspected this-never once had they argued and not made up. She had heard those words plenty, plenty of times… but Anna still didn't understand.

Bitter tears rolled down her cheeks like a waterfall, and Anna didn't even know she was crying. The anger that filled her was too overwhelming to let sadness draw into her.

She felt her warm arms taking her into a hug, fingers running through her copper hair. Ah, when was the last time Anna had been hugged like this? She buried herself into this familiar scent from the crook of her neck, drowning herself in the memories they accumulated.

Her hands came up around Elsa's back, and she shut her eyes. "I don't know why this happened… I just… I just _want_ to love you."

Elsa didn't say anything when Anna wanted her to just say those three words back to her. But this was never going to happen. With her sighs shaky as she tried to hold herself back from crying, Anna managed to compose herself. This wasn't the first time she had cried in front of Elsa-nor would it ever be the last.

Elsa was her best friend. Her lover. Her wife. _Was._ She knew Elsa would be there for her.

Pulling away, Anna found herself being drawn into the blueness of her eyes. The glow they had when she smiled, and Elsa… had such a pitying grin on her face. "Please… beautiful." Fingers brushed away the tears on her cheeks. Elsa hadn't called her beautiful in so long. "Don't cry."

"How can I not?" She grasped onto her wrist. "Elsa, just… _I miss you_."

The woman said nothing as she leaned in, only pausing for a bit to look into each other's eyes. Ah, the familiarity of feeling the love when they were so close to each other together. The feeling of want.

Anna could feel it again, and her heartbeat was faster than ever. This was love that Anna had always wanted.

Before she knew it, she found tender lips breathing against the skin of her own, minty breath tickling her cheek, and she closed her eyes. Her spine felt chills, her body warming up through the summer evening, and she could almost taste it on her lips. And how could she ever forget about Elsa's taste? Her soft pulped lips… her sweet, sweet scent that always prompted Anna to fall in love with. Anna sighed at the hands that held her cheeks, her own running up Elsa's thin wrists. _She's grown skinnier…_

But just as she wanted this to never end, it ended. Elsa pulled away, her expression stoic and stern, looking at her ever so closely.

This was the woman she fell in love with. This was the woman who loved her. Oh… what went wrong?

"I love you," Anna mouthed.

She nodded, her lips on her cheek just briefly. "I know. And I do too, Anna."

That wasn't what she wanted to hear, nor did she want to hear this anymore. "I… I should go. Kristoff is still waiting for my call." Anna stepped back away from her touch.

"What about dinner? Would you like to-"

"N-No. I can't." Anna took a deep breath. "I'll see Olaf tomorrow."

"Of course."

While she walked back to her car, Elsa was watching her leave-her posture still looking as it was before. Insecure. Confused. And Anna could see it all.

Getting into her car, Anna sat back and took one last look of Elsa. She was waving. Anna waved back. The ring appeared before her once again, but it was nothing but a burden to look at.

When Elsa's front door finally shut, she began to drive ever so slowly. The kiss… the hug… Anna wanted more of that. No, she wanted more of Elsa to love her back-to bring back the woman that was once hers.

She bit her lip, her hand coming up to wipe away abandoned tears. This wasn't right… never was right. And all Anna wanted to do was to get Elsa back.

All she wanted was for them to love and cherish each other until death would do them part.


	2. Chapter 2

"... And so I told her, 'I made it so that Sven could get through the day without getting upset' and she looked at me like I was crazy cuz she thought the toy was a fucking dildo- hey, you alright?"

Anna felt a hand on her shoulder, but she didn't remove her gaze from the alcoholic beverage, and neither did she stop the circular movement of her fingers on the rim. She was paying attention, first of all. She was just too tired to respond, that's all.

She sighed. But her best friend was talking, so she might as well just spill out the beans. "Ariel. Is she your girlfriend or something?"

Kristoff laughed, heartily. "What's the matter with you, saying strange things like that?"

"Ah… that is strange, isn't it? She wouldn't like you…"

He flinched in pretend hurt. "Ouch. Since when have you become such a bitch?"

Anna sighed, propping her cheek against her fist. "Yeahhh… when have I become someone I'm not?"

Kristoff didn't respond to that any further. She knew how her best friend was looking at her. Kristoff may be a huge idiot sometimes, but some idiots could be too caring for their own good. "Are you still…" He didn't say anything further.

Though, even Anna knew what he was going to ask. So many had asked her that question already and yes… the answer was always no. She figured she could also be quite an idiot sometimes, but nobody was stopping her.

Not anymore.

She stared at the ring that embraced her ring finger tightly. It was about time to take it off, but the ring always gave her a sense of nostalgia. Ah, nostalgia _and_ hurt. She could easily just take it off and forget all the things that made her so miserable but… perhaps, this was what she really deserved. Misery.

She sighed again for the third time. It was almost as if she was just wishing for the sighs to make her grow older so she could die in a ditch. "You'd think I'd be over it by now…" She rubbed her fingers on the ring. "I'm not, and I'm just being plain dumb. Am I dumb, Krist?"

He looked at her with pity. "Anna, it's been months since then. Have you talked to her, at least?"

She chuckled. "Talking won't fix our situation. Like I've always said… she lost the love she had for me." A bitter smile formed when she turned to look at the man. "It's really that simple."

"Do you really believe that?"

"Would she ever lie to me?"

"I don't know, Anna… but if you keep thinking these things, you won't be able to move on as easily."

 _Maybe I don't want to. I just want my life back._

She took a sip of her drink, the cube of ice clinking on the glass when she placed it down. Maybe Kristoff could be the voice of reason right now.

Anna had been taken one too many drinks (in reality, just a few sips could make her tipsy) and all she could do was just listen and not be a douche about it. Yes, her heart was bitter, her mind was in a clutter… but she had ears that could take in every word with good intentions. And she would always do things with good intentions.

Elsa taught her that, and naturally, she was born with it.

"I can't. I have Olaf, remember?"

"In her custody."

"Yeah, but he's better off with her. I'm not responsible enough. And like I said… I love my son too much to forget about _her._ " She paused. "I mean, who could ever forget about her…?"

"Geez, I've never seen you this lovesick."

Groaning, Anna gently banged her forehead against the wooden counter. "Yeah, it's nauseating…"

"But anyway." He placed a hand on her back. "Drink like there's no tomorrow and forget about your lovesickness. I can grab a cab for us."

She waved him off, mumbling under her breath with incomprehensible words. Oh, Anna was already drunk enough. "Let me just… dig a grave and die there with her still in my mind."

"Nah, you got work tomorrow with the Weasel. Dying is a no go."

She clenched her chest, turning her head against the table to stare at him. Of course, visions were already getting blurry. "Dying is better than to feel this heartbreak in my heart, right?"

"Okay. Nope. You are drunk already." He scratched his head. "Guess you can take only baby beers, huh?"

"You're stupid."

He slowly got up and grabbed her shoulders to lift her up. "Nice, we can do more playground insults tomorrow."

"Yeah, fuck you."

* * *

"... Momma… is sleeping?"

"Yes, darling. Don't bother her alright? Did you finish your homework?"

"No… I really can't see her?"

"Later, honey. School starts tomorrow so why don't you go get your homework started. I will bring you snacks later alright?"

"Okay!"

 _Shut… up…_ Anna groaned as she rolled over to her side in bed, her arm raised above her head. She moaned again with the sun blasting against her poor eyes. _Lemme guess… two drinks and a few… and I'm getting hangovers… what a surprise._ It really wasn't a surprise, and neither did she want to open her eyes to torture herself any longer.

She pulled the blanket over her head with yet another weird, tortured noise.

"Anna…" She felt someone shake her.

"Mmm…"

"Anna, get up, please."

"Shut uppppp…"

Silence. Ah, exactly what she needed. _Now a few more snoozes..._

" _Honey, wake up_." A hand… a very cold hand went under the blanket… under her shirt, and pressed flat on her tummy. Anna immediately burst out into laughter, her body jerking away as soon as the hand pulled away as well. Oh, only one person knew she was ticklish at that one spot. And before Anna knew it, she turned to see Elsa grinning at her with beautiful pink cheeks. "Good afternoon."

Anna blinked, looking around before answering. She was… back home. In their - in _Elsa's_ bedroom. Ah… no wonder why she didn't want to get out of bed. Not with Elsa's scent lingering anyway. Anna's heart sunk just slightly. "Uh… afternoon?"

"You slept all morning."

"I slept all morning…" she repeated to herself, still completely dazed. "I slept all morning?!" Anna violently ripped the blanket off her, sitting up… only to experience a wave of headaches plowing through. But that wasn't important now. "Weselton's going to kill me!"

"Anna, calm down, you're not going to work today."

One blink. Two blinks. Anna glared at her in confusion. Her head was throbbing even more suddenly. "I'm not?"

The blonde raised an eyebrow.

"Right, I'm not. And why am I not?"

Elsa sighed. "You know you can't drink, yet you drank until you were throwing up without even knowing. Kristoff brought you home."

 _Damn bastard._ Anna grumbled to herself, looking down to see her clothes had been changed. "You… changed me."

"Like I said, you were throwing up."

She grimaced. "I… don't want to imagine what happened."

Elsa chuckled. "Well, get up. I made lunch, and you need to take your pills."

Right. Anna watched the woman get out of her room silently. They were… acting so normal. Like nothing ever happened. Like Elsa was still her wife that loved her.

The redhead sighed, putting her head in her hand. Kristoff… was just a bit too nosy. But Anna couldn't complain. She got to see Elsa.

With that thought in mind, Anna got out and walked down the stairs to the dining room after having to take ten minutes to clean herself up. Olaf was with his crayons, humming a little song to himself with a bowl of pretzels and juice beside him.

Anna hadn't… been home for quite a long time now, but nothing seemed to change. Elsa was in the kitchen, Olaf was doing homework on the table, a cartoon was playing in the background, and the clock was ticking. _Yeah… everything's normal._

She knew she could come home whenever she wanted to see Olaf, but she knew, Elsa was only saying it. Mostly, she was just afraid of being home.

She smiled at the sight of Elsa grabbing two plates of sandwiches to the table. Their eyes met. "Come down, will you? I made you your favorite."

Olaf perked his head up and immediately turned, his smile also widening. "Momma!"

Oh, how could Anna get so negative with him around? "Hey, buddy!" She quickly got down to pick him up in her arms. "How are you doing, little man?" She walked to the table.

"Good! I'm doing homework!"

"I can see that."

Olaf pressed his face into her neck. "Momma, I missed you." _Oh._ Olaf would never say that. He was always so optimistic, waiting for his momma to come pick him up from school. Anna glanced over to Elsa, who only smiled gently.

"Yeah, I missed you too, buddy. But I'll see you tomorrow, won't I?"

"Mhm."

"Alright, now why don't you get back to work. And finish your snacks too." She put him down, but not before kissing his forehead. Olaf could always take away any pain Anna was feeling.

Sighing, she took a seat across from Olaf and her mother. A plate of sandwich and a glass of water was sitting before her. Ah, she missed Elsa's cooking, it always looked so appetizing.

Anna's stomach growled, prompting her face to glow red and Elsa to giggle. "S-Sorry…"

"No, don't be." The blonde sighed, turning to Olaf who offered her a pretzel. Smiling, she took it, popping it in her mouth. "You must be hungry to have your stomach growl like that. I doubt you ate anything yesterday too."

Anna scratched her head. Oh, she couldn't wait any longer and began to take a bite of her sandwich. Gods… it was almost like she was tasting her mother's food, but… "A-Actually, I didn't eat, yeah. So this is…" She gulped. "This is really, _really_ good."

Elsa chuckled again. "I'm happy you're liking it." A pause. For the moment, Anna didn't care for the silence and continued to satisfy her poor stomach. Elsa stared down to her plate. "Anna… may I ask you, why you were drinking like that?"

Oh. The redhead froze, putting her sandwich down. "Uh… just, you know, having fun, that's all." She didn't dare see how Elsa was looking at her. Elsa had always had sharp instincts… she could always tell what Anna was thinking. But this time, Anna wasn't allowing it. Elsa was always looking at the right way… always finding out what was wrong. But clearly, she - _they_ had been too blind to see what was wrong in front of them right now.

Anna started picking on the edges of the bread. She only had eyes for the ring. "I, uh… Kristoff and I were just-"

"Kristoff and you were drinking because of me."

She finally eyed her. "No, I-"

Elsa's stoic expression had left her frozen. Where was that gentleness that she had before? "We've changed, Anna."

 _We?_ Looking down, Anna shook her head. "We didn't. You did."

They just… continued to avoid each other. Elsa placed her hands together, her fingers rubbing on the others. She sighed. "Olaf, go to your room, okay?"

The boy picked his head up. "What?"

"Room, please."

He frowned, turning to Anna. "B-But… Mama…"

The redhead grinned. "Listen to your mother, alright? I'll check up on you in a minute. And show me what you were drawing later, okay?"

Just slightly convinced, Olaf mirrored her… well, undoubtedly fake expression and gathered his things before running back up to his room. And now, it was just quietness that surrounded them, and only the echoing of rustling leaves and chirping of birds sounded outside of their home. Huh, their home. Anna felt as if she had just slept in a stranger's home right now.

"I was…" Elsa started. "It's been… well, almost a year since then, right?"

"May 14th. How could I forget?" Anna got up slowly, unable to control the bitterness that shown in her eyes. "How could I… ever begin to understand what happened?"

"You need to, Anna." Her pitying eyes were just unneeded, first of all. "You need to… understand that our marriage… our happiness was not how it was. It all changed… we were nothing but two strangers leading different lives under the same roof, Anna."

Anna turned away. "No, I loved you. I still do - "

"You're blind, Anna." _Blind?_

The redhead squinted in curiosity. "Blind? I… We… We had a good marriage for seven years, Elsa. How could I be so blind to marry such… wonderful, beautiful woman?"

"'Good', you say…" Elsa nodded, whispering. "I don't know, Anna. I don't know…"

Before Anna could even retort, knowing that she had gotten quite angry right now, the front door slowly opened. "Elsa, I'm home!"

They both turned almost simultaneously to see a tall man with a suitcase and a duffle bag. Anna froze. She… hadn't seen him ever since the two had been introduced to each other a few months ago. She remembered that time, she didn't quite care. Oh, but Anna was good at hiding her emotions. She learned that from a special someone. That person was quite lovely.

"Hans?" Elsa exclaimed. "You're home…"

With a big, bright smile, he left his baggage on the ground and came up to Elsa. "I told you, didn't I? Coming home today afternoon." He leaned into kiss her… which she received with no problem. Anna clenched her fists together, turning away. She used to kiss Elsa like that… used to hold her around her waist like that…

Elsa was giggling. "Silly me, how could I forget?"

"Oh, not so smart anymore, huh? How's Olaf?"

"He's upstairs. I'm sure he'd love to see you."

"I got him toys." Elsa frowned, prompting him to roll his eyes. "Yes, _again._ But for good reasons!" He put his hands around her waist, before turning to Anna. "Anna! I heard you drank a lot yesterday. You alright?"

Anna nearly wanted to throw up. She grimaced instead, forcing a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Welcome back, Hans. I guess I should go right now."

"No, Anna, _stay,_ " Elsa pressed. What the hell was she doing? Anna didn't want to stay to… see _that._ It disgusted her.

"Yeah, Anna. At least, stay for dinner? I haven't seen you in awhile, I wanted to see how you're doing," her… _boyfriend_ added. Oh, it just rolled off her tongue so harshly. Anna just wished she could just punch him in the face but… she had to show face for Elsa.

She sighed. "No, I… I gotta go. I'll grab a cab, don't worry." She gazed at the blonde, and nothing felt more heartbroken when she couldn't even see Elsa as her own… but to see two individuals holding each other, and one of them wasn't herself. "I'll see you and Olaf tomorrow."

 _Blind, huh? Maybe..._

* * *

 _a/n: mysterious..._


	3. Chapter 3

_Elsa always thought she was wonderful - a bold, bright woman with beautiful auburn hair with nothing to lose. And she didn't have anything to lose. There wasn't a single thing that was stopping Elsa from pursuing her. How could she ever sway away from even looking at her anyway? Alone, she met her at a club one night, and they were able to kick it off wonderfully._

 _Truth be told, that girl was quite loud, but that was what Elsa liked about her. She had never met a woman with such a loud personality. And she knew if she was quiet… it would be just as wonderful._

 _Elsa was quite enjoying herself, actually. So was the redhead. They had talked, drank, and touched each other like there was no tomorrow. Everything just felt so right. "What's your name?" she asked when they decided to get to Elsa's apartment. It was the spur of the moment._

" _Anna."_

 _Ah, Anna. What a nice name. Elsa was willing to call her that forever._

 _And that night, Elsa felt nothing but love. Nothing but her skin burning on Elsa's. To feel her fingers digging into her in the night, to have their voices aching for the pleasure that they were to each other. Elsa felt like she was melting - completely submitting herself to Anna's hands and wonderful lips that whispered sweet soft words to her ears._

 _After the night of love, to feel arms holding her, Elsa felt whole. Elsa felt loved._

 _For months, their friendship had grown to lovers when Anna confessed. Saying three words was as easy as pie for Elsa, and she would say that every day to her wonderful Anna._

 _They loved each other, of course. Oh, Elsa really did love her._

* * *

She wasn't sure what had gotten into herself that day. Elsa watched as Anna continued to play with Olaf in a sounding happiness. They were at home that weekend, and it was just a time for family and relaxation. This was nearly impossible for Elsa. While Anna was playing with their son, Elsa was just leaning against the kitchen counter with her arms held together around her waist. Just _wondering._ She was supposed to happy. Why wasn't she?

Nothing was wrong… but that was exactly what was wrong.

Anna was treating her right, and Olaf loved both of his parents, but -

This was different. Very different.

When was the last they ever had a real argument that would last for days? When was the last time they had both said 'no' to each other? Elsa couldn't remember.

Her smile disappeared from that thought. Having no arguments was nice. _This_ wasn't.

Elsa felt empty. She must have been crazy to yearn to have a fight with Anna.

And perhaps, why would she? Anna had given her everything, what more could Elsa ask for?

"Hey, come here, will you?" Anna smiled from the couch. The four-year-old Olaf was still trying to his best to climb on top of his mother.

The blonde slowly proceeded to go over to sit next to Anna. "Hi." She looked into Anna's eyes.

"Well, hi, there." She leaned in to kiss Elsa. "What's wrong? Why were you just standing there watching us?"

Elsa shrugged, glancing at the arms that were wrapped around her shoulders. "Nothing's wrong."

"That's good."

"You're just… too good to me."

Anna tilted her head, chuckling. "What's making you think that all of the sudden?"

The woman placed her arm around her wife's waist, leaning her head against Anna's shoulder. "No reason…" she whispered. There was definitely a reason. But she wasn't going to start anything just yet. She was going to be smart about. She was going to be numb about this. For now, at least. "I just think we're just a really, really happy family, aren't we?"

Anna raised an eyebrow. "Yeah... we are. Elsa, what's wrong?"

For now, she couldn't face Anna. "Like I said, nothing." And that was what she was going to believe for another few months.

* * *

Anna would always say yes to her. She would always forgive Elsa without a thought no matter what Elsa had done wrong. Anna would give her everything, anything. But this was wrong.

Sometimes, Elsa would purposely do something wrong, anything major, anything minor. Anna would still forgive her without hesitation. She couldn't stand it. If this was normal for Anna… if she couldn't see how horrible this was, Anna was blind.

Elsa was beginning to feel the disappointment she had emerging. Taking over the love that she had for Anna for all these years. She was… unhappy. This was insanity.

Her wife could never simply understand how Elsa felt.

That summer night, Elsa came home late. It was already 2AM in the morning, and she had not answered any of Anna's dozen calls or texts. Nothing. Because that night… she had spent it in someone else's home. In someone else's bed. She needed to.

Who could she ever turn to? Her marriage - _their_ marriage had been lost. She hadn't even thought about Olaf - hadn't even thought about Anna. All she wanted was to feel her own happiness again.

When was the last time she had ever felt true pleasure with Anna? When was the last time she had been taken into Anna's hand and be fucked thoroughly that love wouldn't even cross her mind?

Anna was sitting on the couch with only a lamp turned on. And when Elsa had entered the living room, they only stared at each other. No, Elsa only stared at her. The redhead was smiling. "Welcome home."

No screaming. What a surprise. She forced the same expression. "You're not sleeping."

"I put Olaf in bed. I was also just… waiting for you to come home. You never answered my calls."

The woman sighed, running her fingers through her hair. She put her purse down on the counter and took her heels off. "Sorry."

Anna tilted her head. "You… Is that alcohol, I smell? Were you drinking?"

"I was, actually."

"Oh. Well, you drank… a lot. A bath is waiting for you, and I'll be in bed if you need -" _She just… doesn't get it._

"Thanks, Anna." A pause. She just wanted to go to sleep… just wanted to be away. "Anything else… you want to say?"

Anna placed her hands together, gazing down. "Um… well, I don't know how to say this but… you've changed, Elsa."

The woman looked away. "I guess, I did…" She clenched her fingers together. "I can't help it."

Anna seemed a bit unconvinced. "Yeah, no, that's fine. I just thought, you know, it's different. But I know people can change over time. I don't blame you -"

"Anna, I slept with a man."

Silence. For some reason, saying those words were absolutely relieving. She didn't want to sound like a bitch, but she had to when she needed to. And right now… to let herself go from this exhausting marriage, Elsa said it. Elsa had to break her heart for her own selfish needs.

The redhead cleared her throat, panic eyes searching anywhere but Elsa's. She put her fingers in her hair. "U-Uh… y-you slept with a man? What are you saying?" Oh, Anna definitely understood.

"Aren't you angry?"

Anna still looked at her with confused eyes, but behind all that, Elsa couldn't see the anger. Only the sadness. This wasn't what Elsa wanted.

"Heh… why?"

 _Why_? This was the first thing Anna would ask her? Elsa growled under her breath. "You don't understand, do you?"

Anna immediately shook her head, her body visibly shaking in front of her. "Understand...? Understand what? What have I done?"

"You've done _nothing_." A pause. And that was exactly what happened. Nothing ever happened. No joy, no sadness… just stillness. "I think… it's over."

"Over." She nervously chuckled. "What, over? Us? Why? What about Olaf?"

"He will be with me." Elsa sighed. "I wasn't happy, Anna. I wasn't -"

"I… I thought all these years, you were. I thought _we_ were. Was it all just a game?"

"No, Anna. I love you… but I can't stand this anymore. I need…" Elsa took a deep breath. "I just need _more_."

Silence. And all Elsa could hear was the fragile glass of Anna's heartbreaking. No fire was raging, nothing. Just… darkness and stillness.

"More…? I could give you more -"

"Just… _stop."_

Anna held her tears in. "Yeah… Um… that's okay. I, um… if it's because of what I've done… and you were drinking too…" Her voice was just completely cracking as she tried to hold it together. Anna was in complete avoidance. "That's-"

"We should divorce."

And that was it. That was all she needed to say - those three simple words. It just rolled out of her tongue so easily. So fast. There was no emotion shown on her face - just… emptiness. Perhaps, she was drunk, but she knew what she said was as light as day, and Anna could hear that very clearly.

All she could see was the horror and heartbreak in Anna's eyes. The way her body slacked in defeat… how she just accepted what Elsa had said. This angered her. For the very last time, Anna wasn't up for an argument. Wasn't up to take Elsa on. Wasn't up to go slap her in the face and tell her no. Because at least, Elsa knew Anna had grown a spine. But Anna stayed silent, in tears.

She was so… weak. So naive.

And Elsa was just completely selfish, but selfishness was all she could be right now.


	4. Chapter 4

All Anna wanted was for things to be normal, but that, perhaps, wasn't worth wanting anymore. Hans wasn't a bad person - not at all.

She just wished that Elsa would tell her more about him before suddenly announcing that Hans had become her significant other. Anna grimaced. She couldn't even say love.

She was on her way to pick Olaf up from school. Luckily, the little guy was in an afterschool program so Anna could take a few minutes rest - maybe grab a cup of coffee or some cupcakes for Olaf and her to chow on - before getting back in her car to take him home. For the hundredth time, Anna… was still quite nervous, bringing him home.

Elsa was unpredictable - had been for the longest time now. Not from personality wise, no… but something about Elsa's thinking… the way she was feeling was especially odd.

Anna shook her head. She was still driving down the long road that evening to pick Olaf up. The thought of Elsa… the thought of that night made Anna's stomach churn. She couldn't even think about the way Hans held her yesterday. Jealousy? Maybe. But most obviously, she was angry and confused.

She had… never been this angry in her life, actually. Anna had always been kind-hearted, which could get annoying sometimes, but it was all she had to herself.

Sighing, she pulled over in front of the school and walked up to the classroom. The hallways were darker than every other day, but it seemed like the classrooms were still as lively as ever. Anna couldn't help but smile. At least, I can be a mom, when I'm here…

Walking around slowly, she had encountered a few of Olaf's classmates and parents. She couldn't help but say goodbye to those cute faces or stop to ask how their parents were doing. Not that she cared (anymore), but… it was just the right thing to ask. Of course, others would ask her the same.

She looked into Olaf's classroom, scanning the kids that were playing legos or trains. Olaf's black hair popped up behind those colorful tables. He was still enjoying his little games with his group of friends, boys and girls. He had always gotten along with students in the classroom, but every day, Anna was still somehow worried about other kids bullying him.

They quickly made eye contact. "Mama!" He waved.

Blinking away from her thoughts, Anna waved as well. "Hey, buddy."

Olaf quickly ran to his mother and hugged her, prompting Anna to let out a little 'oof'. "Wow, you've gotten strong."

"Hehe… Are we going now?"

"Mm…" She looked around, finding the teacher from the far back, gazing at her. "Yeah, why don't you grab your things? I'll go sign out, alright?"

"Okay!"

Anna walked towards the teacher with brunette hair.

"Well, you look a bit exhausted, don't you? Hey, kids, quiet down!" The brunette with a colorful apron crossed her arms, getting up from her seat.

The redhead nervously chuckled, scratching her head. "Well, yeah, that's what you get when you've been working overtime."

"Huh, lucky you." She handed Anna a clipboard and pen. "So… I know I shouldn't talk about this… but are you and Elsa getting any better? Olaf… well…"

Anna cocked an eyebrow at her before handing back the signed clipboard. "What _about_ Olaf?"

"You two didn't tell him about the -"

"No, not really. Is he questioning?"

She shrugged. "Today he asked me, 'why are Mama and Mom living apart?' and 'is Mama going to come back home?'. That sort of thing."

Anna let out an exasperated sigh, dropping her head down. Ah, of course, Olaf would ask this. He was going to be in second grade soon - eventually, they'd have to say something. Heartbroken? Yes. But was it the truth? Of course. And perhaps, Anna just wanted Olaf to still be this innocent, fun little man, still. The guilt of telling Olaf was riding up on her. "Sorry, he has to put you up with that."

"Mama, I'm ready!"

Anna gazed down, seeing that Olaf was jumping up and down in excitement. "Alright, we'll go a second okay?"

"Yep! Can I play with my friends for a bit then?"

"Of course." She ran her fingers through his hair. "But just for a bit, and then, we'll go." Seeing that Olaf still wanted to go play… to enjoy himself… somehow, just looking at it was heartbreaking. Anna clicked her tongue.

"Listen." Anna felt a hand on her shoulder. "It's not good to put off telling him later. I know you seem to be having a bit of a hard time but… I know you and Elsa will be just fine. I can feel it."

 _What does she know_? Anna felt herself slouch in disappointment and frustration for a second. She knew the teacher - er, Meg was trying to help, but honestly, it wasn't going to help fix their marriage. Not with that advice or her feelings.

She smiled clumsily at her. "Thanks, that's… that means a lot."

Meg rolled her eyes, a hand placed on her hip. "No, I'm just… telling you how I feel, that's all."

"Even so, I appreciate it. Thanks, Meg. Olaf, come on, let's take you home."

The kid pouted for a second before saying bye to his friends. Oh, he could never say 'no' to his mother anyway. Watching him grab his backpack and have his hand on hers, Anna felt… well, she felt warm. _At least, I have him around… sometimes._

"Anyway, thanks for taking care of Olaf for us. I know it's hard to keep a secret from him."

Meg chuckled, waving her off. "No, not hard at all. If you need anything, I'm all ears. Oh, forgot to say, in a month, there'll be a Thanksgiving play going on and our class will be performing. Will you come?"

Anna rolled her eyes, feeling Olaf tugging her to go. "Of course I'll come." A pause. But then again… Olaf would want to see both parents. Anna didn't have the heart to face Elsa again. "Um… both of us will come."

Meg silently nodded. "Right, well, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

* * *

As usual, Elsa was standing outside of the house. Anna always thought that was weird, considering Elsa knew that Anna would never keep her baby forever. Anna wasn't that person. She'd listen to that woman just to keep them together. To keep them sane.

Anna stepped on the brake, turning back. "Alright now - and, shhh," she put a finger to her lips, "remember don't tell Mom that you were having cupcakes before dinner." She winked.

Olaf giggled. Ah, he was always a good kid and not do these things, but whenever he was asked to… the excitement he had was adorable.

Once they got out to the car, Olaf ran into her mother's arms. "Mom!"

"Ooh, you and Mama came home a bit late. I was worried, baby." Elsa squeezed the kid and kissed his forehead.

Anna just had to be on the side to watch. Elsa had always been the fondest of their son… she didn't want to stop their sweet moments together. No matter how strict Elsa could be, there was always a soft side she'd let out once in awhile.

"Sorry, I was just talking to Meg, that's all," Anna stated.

The blonde looked up, smiling. "Meg? Are you two close?"

What? Anna felt a blush emerging. "N-no, of course not! We just… talk, that's all."

She nodded, running her fingers through Olaf's soft hair. For a second, Elsa squinted. "Olaf, did you eat something before coming home?"

Oh. Anna let out a sigh of disappointment, watching Olaf freeze up. He gazed down, hands placed together. "Y-Yeah…" he mumbled.

"What did you eat?"

"Er…" He turned to Anna. Oh well, not like it matters.

Anna chuckled nervously. "I went ahead and bought a few mini cupcakes before coming to pick Olaf up. I thought I'd share some with him - he only ate two though."

Olaf immediately puffed up his chest in confidence. "Y-Yeah, two!"

Elsa cocked her eyebrow. "Doesn't seem like it." A pause. "Well, that's fine, as long as you finish your dinner, got it?"

He nodded frantically.

"Alright, go inside. Do your homework."

"Bye Mama!" He waved, prompting Anna to as well.

"Bye…" Ah. It was just them two again. The awkwardness was coming back and still… Anna continued to wonder what had gone wrong in their marriage. She crossed her arms, cleared her throat, and avoided eyes with Elsa. The blonde was only tilting her head in curiosity, grinning gently, her side leaning against the side door. "You don't have to look so tense, Anna. It's just us."

Us. Anna bit her lip. "U-Um… oh, I just wanna say… thanks. For yesterday. I… didn't want you to see me being in such a messy state."

Elsa shook her head. "No, it's my job to take care of you, and you, me. Right?"

"Yeah, but -"

"Our divorce doesn't have to hinder our relationship with each other -"

 _"Your_. You divorced me, Elsa." Anna sighed. She didn't want to get angry. She wasn't going to be that person. "I… I'm happy to see you more… happier, at least. If it means that we can't be together."

Elsa sighed. "How are you doing? Are you feeling any better?"

 _What is this?_ "I feel the same as always."

Elsa twitched. "This is why…" she whispered, but Anna was so… clouded with frustration and the words that were kept in her mind that she didn't hear. Didn't want to hear anyway. Anna shouldered too much of their responsibilities to even care with Elsa had said.

"Anyway, I should… I should go. Say goodnight to Olaf for me. And… sorry about the cupcakes -"

"Do you want to come in for dinner?"

Anna shook her head. "I'm fine."

"Hans isn't here."

"Doesn't matter." A pause. "I don't belong here."

"Anna -"

"Look, next month, Olaf is going to be on a play for Thanksgiving and Meg wants us to be there. Together."

Before she could even let Elsa respond, Anna had already gotten into her car and drove off. She had never been so cold to ignore what Elsa was saying, but to keep herself sane… all she could do was shield herself from Elsa's hurtful words. She knew Elsa never meant to hurt her… never meant to treat her like trash.

She clenched her fingers around the steering wheel tightly, her others going through her hair. Never had she been this heartbroken before. Never.

 _This fucking sucks._


	5. Chapter 5: Broken

_a/n: first of all, thank you to those who are reading!_ i _really_ didnt _think this fic would create such an amazing debate on who's right and who is wrong! frankly,_ i _think they both are. when you're married, you take a vow. you live or die for that significant other, but if they're not happy... then something this definitely wrong with their husband or wife. nobody cheats without a reason._

 _second of all, to **anon, Blackrow, and Guest:** you guys made great points about _elsa _that_ i _feel like_ i _needed to respond here. thank you for taking your time to review by the way! what_ i _want to say it that..._ elsa _is definitely wrong on her part. but_ i _have to agree_ on _anon here that feelings can be irrational. the interacts she has with_ anna _are definitely irrational too, but_ elsa _makes it seem like everything is normal because right now the divorce to her *is* normal._ i _think you'll read more about it in this chapter about why she thinks that._ i havent _had my parents divorced at all, but my sister did go through a divorce a long time ago when_ i _was still pretty young. but_ i _have taken sociology so_ i _know a little bit of what a marriage/divorce is like in terms of their interactions with each other. what_ elsa _and anna feel at the moment..._ theyre _as rational as it could be when_ theres _a divorce._

 _if there's any questions, please visit my tumblr: not-rotting . tumblr . com!_

* * *

Going to work was just another excuse for Anna so that she wouldn't have to think about anything else other than work. Honestly, she despised it there - but if it helped her to forget about Elsa, it was good for her.

Weselton wasn't the greatest boss, and if Anna could rate him, he would be a three - one of those points only being his wig because it always made her laugh. Used to anyway. She hadn't had a real laugh for quite a long time now.

Anna didn't quite have that much work that afternoon anyway. People were getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner, and even Kristoff had gone home early.

She scratched her head, reading through the texts she received from Meg in her cubicle.

 _Meg: You are coming right?_

 _Me: Yeah, sure._

 _Meg: What do you mean, 'yeah, sure'? Look, Olaf's excited to see you. So am I._

 _Me: I'll be there, don't worry. What time again?_

 _Meg: Get here before 2, okay? Mind telling Elsa that too? You said she'd come.  
Me: She will. Don't worry about it, I'll talk to you later._

 _Meg; Don't be late!_

Anna groaned, throwing her head back. It wasn't the first time Meg had forced the two of them to be together. It was just… Anna felt awkward. It had already been a month since Anna had woken up in Elsa's home all hungover and tired. She couldn't forget about it.

And the way she acted… _still_ acted… Gods, Anna felt herself dying a little bit inside. This wasn't her at all - to say something so coldly to Elsa and ignore her. This happened more than once too.

Anna put her fingers in her hair. "What's gotten into the both of us…?" she questioned to herself.  
Anna glared at her phone… only to see Elsa's caller ID appearing on the screen. She tensed up. She didn't know why she was so tensed up. Elsa always called her, asked how she was doing… but today, Anna was especially nervous.

Gulping down the fear of rejection, she picked up the phone. "H-Hello?"

" _Anna?"_

It was so nice to hear her voice… what wasn't nice was how Elsa was acting. _Is 'normal' what this is to Elsa now? What a joke._ Anna sighed. "Hey, what's up?"

" _Anna, what is wrong?"_

The redhead could almost feel her frown from the other end. "No, nothing's wrong." She had to change this subject. "You… you're coming, right? To school."

" _Of course."_

"Hans too?"

" _No, not Hans."_ At least, that gave Anna a bit of relief. Even she knew Elsa knew that she would feel uncomfortable with him around. But Anna had always said that it was okay to be… well, intimate in front of Anna. Apparently… Anna never did feel okay, even if she said she was.

Anna didn't say anything for a second in contemplation. "Um… you know it's okay to bring him right? It's not my right to oppose."

"And it's not my right to make you feel uncomfortable, Anna."

Oh, for fuck's sake. Anna wanted to laugh, but she didn't. She had enough respect for Elsa to respect their own boundaries. "Yeah… don't worry, it's fine. And… I know I've been kind of… weird lately, but it's only because I've been thinking a lot. I don't mean to ignore you if I ever did."

" _Anna…"_

She cleared her throat. "S-So what's up? You wanted to tell me something."

Elsa didn't say anything for a while before Anna heard a sigh from the other end. "I wanted to ask if you want some of the chocolate chips cookies I made yesterday. It's not soft."

Ah… Elsa still remembered her favorite kinds of cookies. It hadn't been too long after their divorce but after everything, Anna could only expect how little Elsa would think about her. This didn't seem to be the case anymore. Anna pursed her lips together. She missed Elsa's cooking… it always reminded her of her grandmother's. Always… reminded her of the love they had - the love that Elsa put in her food.

Anna took in a deep shaky breath. "Um… yeah, I'd like some. You'll bring it to school right?"

" _Of course. You seem… down lately, I thought I could -"_

"Look, we should be happy." Anna smiled. "Olaf's doing a play in a bit so… what we just need to do is be there with him. Even if it comes to pretending that you love me." She took a deep breath. "Alright, I'll see you soon."

" _Anna -"_

The woman immediately hung up. Ah, everything that she wanted to say today… oh, it just felt so good to get it off her chest.

But even so… how could Elsa say something like this? 'Feeling down'? _I feel like I'm dying._ And perhaps, Elsa never did consider her as a… well, a friend anymore. Just two strangers that once had a kid that bonded them together.

While Anna wanted to mope around and cry, she didn't have the time or the energy to. She had had enough of all that during _that_ day.

Having enough courage to pick herself up, she got out of work and into her own car. It was Thanksgiving, anyway, she shouldn't be acting like this. Though… celebrating Thanksgiving was the last thing she ever wanted to do with her… family.

* * *

She arrived in the decent sized auditorium, crowded with hundreds of parents and kids from all ages. The walls were filled with decorations made by kids, colors ranging from every autumn shades. The stage was empty, the background being a farm with small little props painted and structured nicely.

Anna smiled, eyes scanning the sea of people. _It's a good day…_

"Hey, you're here!"

Anna turned around to see Meg in her usual apron walking towards her. "Oh, Meg. I'm not late, am I?"

She shook her head, grabbing Anna's hand. The redhead raised her eyebrow and gazed down at their entangled fingers. "No, you're just in time. I snagged you a seat with Elsa so you guys will be sitting in the front."

Anna chuckled nervously, looking back up. "Er, special privilege, I see."

"Oh, _please_ , we've known each other for two years now, you should be thankful."

Anna rolled her eyes. "I don't know about that."

"Whatever, Elsa's already here so just go to the right and you'll see a beautiful blonde waiting for her princess."

Anna turned, eyes scanning to the direction that Meg had pointed to. Elsa was just sitting in the front, like she said, talking and laughing with a woman next to her. _Wow…_ for the first time in a long time, Anna was able to see Elsa's sweet, sweet laughter. She forgot how beautiful and addicting it was to look at.

She blinked. "Hey, what do you mean 'her prin-'"

"Whoops, gotta go! The show is going to start in a few minutes. Go grab your seat!"

"W-What about Olaf?!"

"He's with the class!" Before Anna could even say another sentence, Meg was already running back up to the stage.

Anna let out a huff. "'Princess', are you kidding me…?" Well, Anna could easily brush it off. Meg's jokes were always a little surprising sometimes, but for her to say 'princess' like Elsa still loved her… The woman turned and walked to said person. Still, while Anna had talked to Elsa on the phone, talking in person… well, it was a different story. Almost like Anna was having her first meeting with Elsa.

"Hey." Anna tapped her shoulder, prompting the two women to look up. She waved. "Sorry, I'm late."

Elsa immediately got up. "No, you're early. Olaf's class is still backstage."

"I know, I saw Meg earlier." Anna nodded, looking over the tall woman's shoulder to see a stranger waving behind her. "Hi, sorry for disturbing your conversations."

The woman shook her head. "No, no! We were just talking about how our kids used to be in the same class. Mine transferred to Miss Lee."

"Ah…" Anna nodded.

Elsa smiled and reached for Anna's hand. "Sorry, let me introduce her to you. This is Anna. Anna, meet Tiana. A wonderful baker with a beautiful bakery."

"Oh, stop." Tiana chuckled. "Look at you, being all humble. I can see you have a wonderful wife too."

Anna's hair on the back of her neck stood up, and everything in her body seemed to have gone to shock.

"Wait, we're not -"

"She and I aren't -"

Oh. The two women turned to each other, prompting Tiana's eyes to go wide.

"Oh… Oh, but I thought… I'm sorry," Tiana giggled nervously, "It's just Anna's wearing a ring and you're holding her hand so I assumed…"

Immediately, Elsa let Anna's hand go. _Without a thought_. Huh. It was so like her. And slowly, Anna's face fell, turning away and having her own arms hold her own body. Why did she continue to wear that ring? What the hell was she hoping for? _I should've sold it a long time ago._ But these… tugging thoughts just kept coming and it was just there to stay.

She heard Elsa take a deep breath. "People assume that a lot. But we're not together." A pause. "We are close though." _Close_.

"Ah…" This was a bit awkward. "Well, closeness is good too."

"Yeah, it is…" Anna replied. "Are you married too?"

"Oh, yes. To this dork of a man. Sad he's not here to see the play, I bet he'll be extremely jealous once my daughter and I brag about it to him."

Elsa giggled. "You must have a wonderful family." Before anything else was being said, a loud cough coming from the microphone on the stage sounded, and the lights were dimming. The women turned, seeing the school's principal readying himself to make a speech.

"Thank you all, parents, grandparents, and siblings for coming to our Thanksgiving special today. Welcome! Don't worry, the first-grade classes are finishing up getting ready, so in a second, you'll be able to see how wonderful your children are. Of course, nobody will be left out…"

Anna felt a tug on her sleeve, turning to see Elsa sitting. "Sit," she whispered, and the redhead slowly followed suit. "I told you, I baked you cookies." The blonde reached down for a white tote bag with a container of various cookies and brownies inside. Oh, just looking at it as she pulled it out had Anna almost drooling.

"Jesus, you baked that much?" Anna furrowed her brows.

Elsa smirked. "Well, it's not you can't finish it, right?" She was right.

"You know I can't ever resist your desserts, especially, anything that's chocolate related."

"That's why I baked extra. The rest are for the bake sale." Anna was just about to reach for one until Elsa put it back in the bag. She gently slapped Anna's hand away. "No, no, no, _after_ Olaf's finished, then you'll get some."

The woman groaned and rolled her eyes. "You make it so hard for me sometimes."

It was quiet again. And Anna… well, she didn't know she had said anything wrong for a moment until she realized. But then again… Anna wasn't wrong. The play had started with parents clapping their hands, screaming their children's name as loudly as they could, but Anna paid little to no attention to that.

Elsa was still smiling, softly clapping her hands… perhaps, well ignoring what Anna had said. She stared and stared and stared… but those words just couldn't break Elsa at all. _What is she?_

"Elsa -"

"Look! It's Olaf." The blonde grabbed her arm, prompting Anna to turn to see a little man with blond hair on stage… dressed as a snowman. _Oh my god…_

Anna couldn't contain the smile on her face. She had never seen her baby look this happy being a snowman - on stage, even. And to see him in such a cute costume… Anna felt as if she was going to faint in happiness.

And right now, seeing Olaf's eyes searching around for his parents had given Anna a reason to not talk about anything else and just focus on her son.

Olaf waved slightly and discreetly, knowing the play had already started. Both parents squealed with silence and happiness, giving him the biggest wave ever… only for them to gaze at each other afterward… and only blush and awkwardness ensued them. Anna didn't know what to say - after all, Olaf was the only kid who bonded them together.

For a while, every single adult in the auditorium quietly watched the play. Olaf had a fair amount of stage time so it gave the two parents the time of their life to be his biggest fans in the audience. Honestly, Anna found the play quite cute… especially her child, obviously.

About half an hour into the play, it was finally at the closing scene.

Anna felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see Elsa handing her a cookie - though, she did take a bite. "I thought you haven't had lunch. One for now, alright? Then, after, we'll go eat with Olaf. A good Thanksgiving dinner."

"We're not eating at home?"

"Not tonight, that is."

The redhead raised an eyebrow and took a bite out of Elsa's bite. _Hm, tasty… as always._ "Mm… I can wait. Save it for later, it's dessert." She grinned widely, patting her stomach. "Also, that is really, _really_ good. You never change."

Elsa only rolled her eyes. "Oh, _you_ never change."

"Not for those cookies, I won't." A pause. "Other aspects… maybe."

"Anna, don't do this now -"

"Then _when?"_ Anna breathed. "When are we going to talk about it? When are you going to tell me what has gotten into our marriage… that forced you to leave? That… forced me out of my happiness and joy?"

Elsa shut her eyes. The play was ending soon, and the next class would be performing. That, Anna didn't have to see. "Anna…"

"It's been almost a _year_ since we filed for divorce, yet… you've given me nothing but… but that _you just don't love me._ " Anna's face fell to her palms, tears that she held back were finally falling. But she had to be strong. Olaf was watching them. She didn't want her baby to get hurt either - and if she could take all the hit from Elsa… she was willing to do that.

She felt a hand on her back, and immediately, she got up from her seat. "I'm going to the bathroom. We'll talk later." Anna didn't want to show her vulnerable expression, leaving as quickly as her feet could take her. Ah, cold… cold was all she could be.

And after the play ended, Olaf went back to his classroom to put everything away and get dressed. In the school's basketball court, backyard… Elsa was leaning against the wall, eyes down, arms crossed together, and Anna… oh, Anna was just staring. Crying. She was enraged. Never had she gotten so angry to the point that she was crying. Never had ever gotten _angry_.

But the cars that zoomed pass them muted those cries. Those… dreadful tears. Though, Anna's eyes stayed firm. "So…" Anna took a deep breath, wiping her tears in the back of her hand. "I-I… I did everything that you've told me to do… I've agreed to everything… I…"

"Anna, you did. And you know what? Perhaps, I'm selfish… but every time you give me that look… that pitiful eyes like right now?"

"Pitiful eyes…?" Anna squinted. "You call me loving you _pitiful?_ "

Elsa furrowed her eyebrows in disappointment. "Every time you look at me, I feel like… I've just lost a little bit of myself. I feel…" She chuckled. "God, you don't understand."

"Then help me!" she yelled. She couldn't stand it anymore. "HELP ME UNDERSTAND! Just… what did I do wrong for _us_ to go wrong?"

"I told you, it's not you -"

 _Slap._ "Fuck. _You_."

The sound… oh, the sound of Anna's hand going across her cheek, everyone must've heard it because Anna's ears just rang. It was so loud… so painful. And Elsa just accepted it with nothing but… those… fucking irritating blank eyes. Like she didn't care. Like she regarded Anna like she was _nothing._

"I gave you _everything_." Anna tried her very best to suppress her cries, her voice completely stuck in her throat. "I sacrificed everything… for _you_. For you to just _fucking leave!_ "

Elsa growled, between her teeth. "This is exactly why." She took a deep breath, and Anna's only response was the widening of her own eyes… to see the hurt in Elsa's expression and her watery eyes. "You sacrificed everything… _everything…_ and what is there left? I feel… I feel lost. Everything that we do… that we say, I feel completely indifferent. Is this what you want to hear? Because I feel _nothing_ , Anna… I feel so…" She ran her fingers through her blonde hair, tears finally flowing down. "Our marriage… our relationship… it all felt so fake. But I didn't want to hurt you - I didn't know _how_ to."

Anna shook her head, her mind telling her no, no, no. That this couldn't be happening. That Elsa… didn't want… what, happiness? Peace?

"So that's what you meant when you say you lost your love for me…" Anna looked away, chuckling through her tears. This was completely unbelievable.

"Don't you understand…?" Elsa's voice was so weak. " _How_ could I ever tell you to stop giving me everything? How could I… ever _fucking_ tell you how depressing our marriage was? Nothing - for God's sake, NOTHING ever happens! You did everything! And everything was just… _there._ I was sick of it all _._ "

"Then why…? Why tell me now? Why couldn't we just talk -"

" _Why_ should I ruin someone else's happiness just because I wasn't? I love our son, Anna… how could I ever tell him that her mom is being selfish?" Elsa came close to her, pointing at her own chest. " _How?"_ she emphasized through a whisper. " _Tell me,_ Anna!"

"Mom?"

The two gazed down at the small voice… to see frightened big eyes gazing at the two of them… and behind them, Meg was standing there. And Meg… she stood there in silence. In shock… and Anna knew, with the two of them like this, they weren't fit to be his parents. Because that face… they had never seen such horrified face before.

"Girls, Olaf wanted to see you." Anna could barely hear Meg's voice.

"Olaf…" Anna whispered.

The boy turned to her. "M-Mama? Why are you two yelling?"

"Olaf -"

"Oh dear…" Elsa sniffled, quickly wiping her tears before getting down to pick Olaf up in her arms. "It's nothing, baby. Mama and I… we were just talking about how good your performance was." She smiled. Well, to the best of her abilities anyway. "We're very proud of you."

Olaf pouted, his small fingers reaching for Elsa's cheek. "Your cheek is red… did you get hit?"

Meg's eyes widened, eyebrows furrowed. She glared at the redhead. No, Anna just couldn't face her. Nobody. She felt… horrible. And she just didn't understand how Elsa could hide her feelings so easily.

Elsa grasped his small hand and kissed the palm. "Mm, it's nothing, baby. Did you enjoy your performance?"

"Mhm…" His voice was still unsettling. "Did you see me jump down from the tree before?"

"It was beautiful, baby. Do you want to eat? We can go anywhere you like."

"Okay!" Ah, he would give anything for food. "Um… I want pasta and turkey? … but is Mama coming?"

The redhead blinked, turning to her child. "Yeah, Mama's coming. I can't let your mother celebrate your little victory alone today, right?" She ruffled his hair.

"Y-Yeah, heh…" He fiddled with his fingers, and slowly his face fell again. "U-Um… am I a bad boy? Did I do something wrong?"

Elsa widened her eyes. "No, no, you've been a very good boy. Mama and I… we're fine okay?"

Olaf turned to his Mama. "F-Fine?"

Anna kissed his head. "Yeah, baby, we're fine."

"Can I go back and grab my bag then?"

"Sure thing, kid."

Right now, Anna felt defeated. Elsa had told her the truth… had told her how she felt all this time, yet… watching her speak to their son so normally, so happily, made Anna feel like she didn't belong. She couldn't stand it. She felt sick in the stomach. And when Olaf left with worried eyes of Meg's staring at them one last time, the silence was all that was left of the two. Silence was all they needed. Because nothing felt worse than to have words attacking each other again.  
"What… the hell… am I supposed to do?" Anna began.

"Anna…" The redhead flinched when she felt fingers caressing her cheek. Anna gazed up at the blonde's blue eyes. Ah, she had completely forgotten the beauty of it. "It's different now, don't you see…?"

Anna shook her head, her own fingers grasping on Elsa's wrist loosely. " _No_. Remember when we were young… when we were… immature, needy adults? When we tried so hard to get into each other's pants? What the fuck happened to that?" Immediately, she pushed the woman against the wall, her own arms trapping Elsa between her.

The blonde barely flinched… barely even reacted. Did she want this? Anna's eyes wandered around her mysterious expression, her own body closing up on Elsa's. Ah… she remembered this warmth so clearly. So wonderfully.

"Remember all the things we used to do? How we… matured as we grew… how happy we were when Olaf came along? Is that all gone?" Elsa didn't say anything… her ocean colored eyes glowing like they were diamonds, cold fingers reaching for Anna's chin. And Anna allowed her thumb to caress her skin, her lips… "Did you… ever forget…?" Anna breathed, letting herself come closer to her.

"How can I…?"

Closer… _closer_ …

She closed her eyes, feeling Elsa's soft lips graze against hers. The slightest touch was a reminder. The slightest warmth was their love. Anna breathed in slowly, taking in every wondrous scent… every single touch. And she indulged herself, closing in to kiss the woman she still loved. To feel that love that, perhaps, was still there. And it was just one kiss.

One… broken _kiss_.


	6. Chapter 6

That kiss. That one kiss that reeked of sorrow and hurt was swimming in Anna's mind. There was just… no love in it, but Anna wanted it. Desperation? Yes. Perhaps, Elsa had already always known how desperate she was. Still, Anna took that kiss to replace the person that had once stood beside her forever and always, no matter how sad it was.

But why? Why was she still here?

Anna sat in an Italian restaurant, and in front of her was the two people she loved. _Love._

Olaf was eating well, and Elsa was watching him so that he would eat everything. She was talking to their son, but Anna didn't have the right mind to pay attention.

Just seeing the two reminded Anna of how… well, happy their family used to be.

"Anna?"

The redhead blinked, seeing Elsa gazing at her with worry. "Y-Yeah?"

"You haven't eaten a single thing."

She looked at her plate. "Oh… yeah, I'm not too hungry."

Olaf tilted his head. "Mama, do you want some of mine?"

Anna giggled and brushed his hair back. "No, honey, you should eat your own food. Don't want mom to scold you, do you?"

He shook his head. "But eat!"

"I will." She turned to Elsa. The look that that woman had… how unconcerned and unfazed she was almost made Anna want to throw up. Like that kiss never happened. Like… love never happened. Not that, if Anna had said anything, Elsa would care at all. But honestly, what did she care for anyway?

"Is something bothering you?" Elsa questioned.

Anna bit her lip. "No, nothing at all."

"Okay. That's good."

She took a sip of water. "So… has Hans been taking good care of Olaf?"

Elsa raised an eyebrow. "Anna -"

"No, I'm just wondering, that's all. I never really asked about him, really, when you two…" She poked on her plate of food, eyes falling down. Should she really be talking about this? All she ever wondered was whether Hans was really a good person like Elsa said he was. Never had she gotten the chance to say anything. Well, not that she ever had the guts to anyway. She didn't want… Elsa blaming her over and over again. She didn't want to feel the hurt that she had buried deep in her heart again.

Elsa took a deep breath, putting her hand behind Olaf's back. "He has been taking good care of him."

"You said he's moving in."

"Yes, but I told him, now's not a really good time, so he agreed not to come for a bit. He does stay over sometimes but…" She gulped, finally putting her fingers together. The air was just… unsettling. Anna was almost regretting letting herself ask about Hans. "Anna -"

"No, I understand." She nodded. No, Anna really didn't understand. "If he stays over, that's fine by me. Has nothing to do with me, anyway. Really." She couldn't help but… wonder if those nights, Elsa would be holding him like how she would hold her. She grimaced. It disgusted her.

Elsa sighed. "You and I… we've changed a lot."

Anna twitched. "At least, you're happier. Right?"

"Mom?" Olaf tugged on his mother's sleeve. "Is Mama coming home? Mama, are you coming home?"

 _Fuck_. Anna's heart burned with hurt. But still, she smiled, no matter how hurt she was. "No, honey, I'm sorry. Not yet, okay?"

He pouted. "Then when? Mama, I miss you."

Elsa shifted and ran her fingers through her hair. "Mama has work, okay? She'll come back soon, don't worry."

"Yeah, buddy, don't worry. Hey, look, I'm here now."

Olaf nodded. "Y-Yeah." He scratched his head. "Mama?"

"Hm?"

"Can you stay over tonight?"

Oh. Anna turned to her ex-wife in complete speechlessness. Even Elsa, with the way her eyes widened, was unable to let out a single word. Anna hadn't… stayed in Elsa's house, sober, for months. Anna could only awkwardly smile and laugh because she knew she had no right to step into that house. Elsa… wouldn't allow that.

"Sorry, kiddo, I don't think -"

"Mama can stay." _What?_ Anna blinked, raising an eyebrow at the words that came out of Elsa's mouth. That was surprising. Anna had thought she'd be quite unempathetic.

"I-I can?"

Olaf gasped and clapped his hands. "Yay! Mama can stay!"

The two adults stared at each other like this was something new to them. Well, for Anna, this was something new, considering in the past… Elsa was a completely different person. Someone… _colder._ Relentless.

"Why?" Anna whispered.

The blonde smiled. "I just want what Olaf wants, Anna. Plus… it's been a while since you came home."

Ah, a while, indeed. But it wasn't Anna's fault. Never was. Especially since Anna would only listen to what Elsa wanted - and that was to end their god-awful marriage. Anna didn't doubt Elsa had a kind heart - she really did have a kind heart. But after everything, Anna expected nothing less than to see her once other half torture her to no end. Perhaps, torture was the wrong word, but what Anna experienced was nothing more than that.

Anna pursed her lips together, gazing down. "Yeah, right. I haven't been home…"

"So will you come home?" _Does she really want that or is she just saying it?_

If Anna wasn't going to come home for Elsa, she'd do it for her eager son. She grinned. "Yeah, I'll come home. Just for tonight."

* * *

"Here, comfortable?" She put a teddy bear in Olaf's arms. "Mr. Marshmallow will protect you for tonight."

Olaf giggled. "It's just Marshmallow, Mama…"

"Oh, really? Hm… I must be getting old. Sorry, buddy."

"Mama?"

"Hm?" Anna continued to tuck the boy in, running her fingers through his hair. It was night time already, and Olaf had wanted his mama to tuck him in bed and read him a bedtime story before managing to sleep.

Of course, Anna couldn't deny it. Elsa had already gotten dressed for bed too… and that woman knew not to bother the two.

Olaf tucked his chin under the blanket, letting out a pout. "Mama, did I do something wrong?"

Anna frowned, tilting her head. "No, honey, why would you say that? You did nothing wrong," she spoke softly, her heart melting at those soft eyes staring at her.

"It's just… Mama, you never come home… do you hate me?"

That was a stab to Anna's heart. She didn't have the guts to tell him the truth. She didn't have the guts to even face Elsa if she did tell him the truth. She agreed - it just… wasn't the time for Olaf to know. He was too young… too naive to understand.

She smiled gently, leaning in to kiss his forehead. "Mama is just busy. I'm… sorry, it has to be this way, Olaf." _Really. I am._ "But you have uncle Hans, don't you?"

He huffed. "That's different…"

"Ah, I see."

"I want Mama…"

 _Ouch._ Anna wanted to cry. But she knew, she shouldn't show any weakness to her son. Not at all. Olaf was the only thing that kept Anna from breaking apart. "Honey, I'd love to be with you too. I really do, you have no idea… but your mother and I…" She bit her lip. "I have to work hard help Mom, okay? And you too, Olaf. So… please, just bear with me for a little while, and I'll be home, okay?" _Is lying all that I can do?_

"Promise?"

"I promise. Here." She offered him a pink. "Not just a promise but a super duper big pinky promise."

He giggled and crossed his pinky with Anna's. "Okay, pinky promise." They shook it.

"Good boy." She kissed his forehead one last time and turned off the lights. "Alright, go to sleep now. Good night, buddy."

"Night… Mama. I love you."

"Love you too." She slowly shut the door as she watched her little man close his eyes and fall asleep.

She sighed, bumping her head against his door. "What am I doing here…?" she breathed to herself. Anna wasn't sure if she regretted having to agree to come back. It was just… being here, reminded her of all the good things that happened in this house. All the love that surrounded Anna and Elsa… was so obviously gone.

Taking a deep breath, she walked into Elsa's bedroom, knocking on her opened door. "Hey."

Elsa was already in bed with a book in her hand. The woman smiled and closed it. "Hi. You don't have to whisper, you know?"

Anna nodded. "I put Olaf to bed. He still loves that Snow Queen story, doesn't he?"

"It's his favorite, after all. He said it always reminded him of you and I… so I read it to him every night. It was your turn, finally."

"Yeah." Silence. Anna didn't know what to say. "Well, um… I guess I'll go downstairs. I'll sleep on the couch -"

"Come here." Elsa patted her left side of the bed. "I don't want you sleeping downstairs. Join me."

Anna was hesitant. After so long, she hadn't slept in the same bed with Elsa, let alone, together. But she missed this. She missed having to smell her scent to help get herself to sleep. She missed having Elsa's arms around her.

Falling deep into those… sweet, sweet memories, Anna couldn't help but listen. To just… look into Elsa's eyes as they laid in bed like how they used to do.

Slowly, Anna made her way in bed, laying under the blanket on her side. And they stared into each other's eyes… and Anna could just see the deep blue glowing in the night. Her face was just as pale as ever, like snow. This silence… this silence was comforting.

"It's been a long time." Elsa grinned.

Anna slowly mirrored her soft expression, whispering, "Yeah, it has been." She shifted, peeking a hand out from under the blanket. "Can I… ask you something?"

"Go ahead." Elsa raised an eyebrow.

"Does he…" She gulped. "Does he sleep here?"

For a moment, Elsa didn't answer. But… "Yes, he does."

Not that it ever mattered to Anna anyway. But for some reason, Anna was… boiling with jealousy. With anger. And the question 'why' just kept popping in her head. She knew why. She just didn't want to accept it. "I see."

"Anna… I love you, you know that?" Elsa held the woman's hand. But apparently, Anna didn't know. What love? What kind? But Anna wasn't going to press on.

"I know. I do too." She caressed Elsa's cheek with gentle fingers. "I'm… I'm sorry for slapping you."

She shook her head. "You were angry and I… I deserved it."

"You didn't."

Elsa grasped onto that hand, squeezing it. She pursed her lips, blue eyes gazing down. "I was… I was selfish. I wanted nothing less than bring myself to the happiness that I've always wanted. I'm sorry."

"But now I know. You being with me… hurt you."

Elsa looked into her eyes. "I'm sorry." Sorry wasn't going to do anything. But what else could?

"At least… Hans could give you what you want, right?"

"I suppose so."

She searched her expression. "I wish… I wish I could give you that." And that was all Anna could say because she knew… if this divorce was what it took to give Elsa back her happiness, she was willing to sacrifice her own for that. And she yearned… oh, she yearned to figure Elsa out when they were both still married.

Anna felt lips on her forehead. She shut her eyes. "And I'm sorry… for keeping this from you. For my own selfishness."

And she felt Elsa's lips on hers once again, the tears that Anna held in… falling down her cheeks. To feel fingers… wrapped around her waist to bring them closer together. Ah, her scent… her touch. She wished she could just have it all. For one night. Perhaps… forever.

Her heart cracked because she knew… nothing could last forever.

"Good night, Elsa. I love you."

"Good night."


	7. Chapter 7: Shattered Promises

_a/n: last update before i go to california! there will be more when i come back! enjoy this chapter :)_

* * *

 _The club was unusually crowded on a Wednesday evening. Everyone should have been at work, but instead, everyone was here dancing to these blasting music. The DJ really needed a change. This whole place needed a change, honestly._

 _Elsa didn't give a crap now. Her friends were off somewhere, dancing. But Elsa… she liked being here alone with the bartender. It wasn't especially quiet. She just needed some personal space._

 _Plus… she had a really nice view of this girl's body._

" _So what is a girl who - I know - got plenty of friends because she's just so beautiful, doing right here in a bar, drinking all by herself?"_

 _Elsa raised her eyebrows and began bursting into a fitting giggle when she noticed a cute little redhead sitting beside her. "Beautiful? Are you kidding?"_

 _The girl shrugged and propped her hands on the table. "Why, are you?"_

 _Without answering her, Elsa took a sip of her alcoholic drink, eyes gazing at the bartender. "My friends are here. I just prefer to be alone."_

" _Ah… you're that type of girl." She nodded, amused. "Okay, I can entertain that. So what's your vice?"_

" _My vice?"_

 _The woman rolled her eyes. "C'mon, can I grab you a drink? I know you're still drinking but I also know you're not done with tonight yet, right?"_

 _Elsa squinted, smirking. She turned her full attention to the girl. "I am not the type of girl to let people buy drinks for me if I don't know their name."_

" _You'll know it." She bit her lip. "A-And you'll probably even scream it multiple times once I bring you home."_

 _The girl raised her eyebrows. "Are you serious?" Ah, she really burst into laughter now. Must have been all that drinking. She didn't even hear the redhead groan.  
_ " _C'mon! I'm so awkward - my friends dared me to flirt, and I know I can't flirt but that's all I could think of! You gotta give me some credit here."_

 _The blonde wiped away an imaginary tear, seeing the girl pout in front of her. "That… was a good try. Though, not something that would bring me home."_

" _Fine. I'll try harder."_

" _You can start by telling me your name."_

 _She crossed her arms. "Name's Anna, by the way."_

" _Anna…" Ah, it just rolled off her tongue so naturally. "I'm Elsa. So tell me, what is a beautiful girl like you, so desperate to bring me home, doing in a club like this?"_

* * *

" _Okay, look… what you did back there yesterday - or I assumed what you did, was…"_

Anna groaned, pressing her head against the railing of Elsa's balcony. "I know. I'm sorry."

This early in the morning, she was talking to Meg, unable to sleep… even when she told herself that she yearned to touch Elsa again. But even with the thought being so desirable, it also disgusted her.

So throughout the night, it was filled with hours of twisting and turning. Miraculously, Elsa was still asleep. _Well, it's not like I don't twist and turn back then either._

Anna turned back, gazing at their bed, Elsa soundly asleep under the quilt. She sighed, taking a deep breath of the morning air. "You know, I do regret it."

" _I mean, of course, you do. Anna, that scared me half to death. I'm not going to say how could you do that in front of Olaf but… honestly, how could you?"_

Anna pinched a finger against the bridge of her nose, gripping her phone harder. "I didn't think you two would come out. Shit, I thought I could finally be open and raw about what the hell happened to us until you two came out." She sighed. "I got angry."

" _Why, did she not tell you anything?"_

Anna chuckled. "Oh, she told me, alright… she told me." And honestly, Anna just had to accept it. Looking back, Anna did… well, made this marriage seem like a servant and her humble queen. To Anna, everything seemed normal because all she wanted was to make Elsa happy. To spoil her. To do everything that Elsa told her to do without question. And why? In fear that Elsa would leave? How ironic.

Anna shut her eyes. "You know, I did wrong. I thought that if we could talk it out, we'd figure something out."

" _Sometimes, talking doesn't really help, Anna."_

"I know…" She pursed her lips. "I just wish, she wouldn't keep her reasons away from me. But I understand. I have to."

Meg sighed _. "Honey, you'll work out."_

"I hope so. But I doubt it with Hans in the way - "

" _God, can we not talk about that guy? Honestly, it's disgusting."_

 _Exactly._ Anna let out a small grin. "Yeah, no talking about that guy."

" _Look, whatever she wanted, I'm sure it's to save the both of you."_

Anna gazed up at the clear sky. The sun was finally up, bright and shining. The breeze was chilling, but Anna still quite enjoyed this fresh air. "I'm sure. I just… I miss her. I miss Olaf. We're not the same."

" _I'm telling you, you'll work it out. I'm sure she misses you too, Anna."_

"Yeah, I don't know. But I'll try to believe that. Anyway, thanks for talking with me."

" _Hey, no problem."_ Meg yawned. " _Let's just… I'll just go back to sleep. It's Thanksgiving break, for Christ sake."_

"Oh, yeah, Happy Thanksgiving."

" _Yeah, eat a lot with Olaf."_

When they hung up, Anna stayed outside just for the breeze for a little while. She always loved early mornings - even though she was not always keen on waking up early - where barely anybody was outside, and the birds were just chirping in the trees. Right now, she had the time to reflect.

Everything that she had done… that she had said to Elsa was only leaving her to second-guess herself. That perhaps, what Elsa said… wasn't true at all. That Elsa only thought she didn't love her. That Elsa was sick and tired of their marriage.

Anna shook her head and turned back inside. She closed the glass door silently, making her way back in bed.

Elsa's face was so peaceful, while Anna gazed with such softness. Such forgiveness.

Those thoughts… oh, Anna only wished that it was true. Seeing how Elsa was still sleeping so peacefully was just a way to tell Anna that… the woman never really did love her. Not anymore.

"Mm…"

Anna blinked, watching Elsa's eyelids fall open, a hand covering a yawn. "Anna…?"

"Hi," she whispered.

Elsa ran her hand over her face, turning to her back, and gazing hazily at the ceiling. "You're awake…" Ah, her voice was so hoarse. Anna nearly giggled.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep."

The blonde turned her head to meet with Anna's eyes. "Why?"

She shrugged. "Just… thinking, that's all. I was talking to Meg earlier."

"About what?" Elsa's expression was completely stoic.

"Nothing you should worry about," Anna waved her away. But looking at the blonde, Anna knew she wasn't so convinced.

But they stared in silence, and Anna wished for this silence to continue. She didn't want Elsa questioning her - didn't want Elsa to pry… to know how Anna felt. She felt vulnerable enough.

Elsa shut her eyes and nodded. "Alright." _Phew._

The redhead let out a relieved sigh, watching her ex-wife sit up in bed, her fingers running through her hair.

"I'm… happy that you're here." Elsa gazed at her… and Anna just didn't understand those eyes. So gentle… so loving. As if she was unable to control herself, Anna smiled.

"Me too."

Elsa took a deep breath in, looking at her surrounds. "Look, you have every right to be angry at me - in fact, please be angry. But Olaf still needs you."

 _And you don't?_ The redhead sat up as well, gazing down at her curled legs. She shook her head. "I'm not angry. I'm just glad you still want to keep me around." She didn't understand what she was feeling at all - not even anger. Perhaps, she was bitter… though only bitter about herself. But for the moment, she was relieved - she felt… at home. To just sit with Elsa in the morning, with the sun glowing on their skin… to just talk about whatever, was something that Anna longed for.

She felt Elsa's arm touching hers as they sat close together. "You'll find someone, Anna. I know you will."

Anna wanted to scoff at her. Find someone? Why? She didn't need to when she still had these feelings for Elsa. "I don't want to. I just want to be with Olaf, that's it."

"Anna -"

" _I know."_ Anna gritted her teeth, her fingers pulled into fists. "I'm not who you want me to be - but I can change. I _am_ changing. And I know I will never be enough for you, but…" She frowned. "Just let me be enough for Olaf. Please?"

Before Elsa could even say anything, the two girls were startled by a loud cry from the other room. " _Mama! Mama!"_

Anna felt every little hair perk up from her arms, her eyes widened at Elsa. "What was that?"  
" _Shit..."_ Elsa didn't even reply to her as she jumped out of bed immediately, Anna quickly following suit. Olaf was crying loudly in the other room, prompting both women's heart pumping with adrenaline and fear.

"Olaf!" Anna was fast to pass Elsa, opening the door to his room to see the poor boy sitting up in his bed, arms holding tightly to his teddy bear. He continued to weep, only opening his eyes to see his mother. Her eyes widened. She had… never seen Olaf crying this loudly before - perhaps, even at all for a long time.  
"M-Mama…" he whimpered, arms raising up for her hug.

"Oh dear God, what happened?" With Elsa by the door watching, Anna slowly moved in, sitting next to him. She immediately put him in her arms, her lips to his hair. But even with being in the comfort of his parent's arms, Olaf continued to weep.

She didn't get an answer from him so she turned to Elsa. "What happened…?" she mouthed.

Elsa sighed and walked in, letting herself sit beside Anna as well. She placed a hand on Anna's back. "He's been… having nightmares." She ran her fingers through his thin hair. "It's been a while now."

Anna grimaced, continuing to cradle him. "What? Nightmares? Olaf, baby…" She let Olaf take his time to pull away, his cheeks covered in shedding tears. He sniffled, eyes gazing down. "Baby, please tell me, are you having nightmares?"

He timidly nodded. _Fuck._

She was completely heartbroken. Anna was quick to choke back her own tears as well. She smiled ever so softly. "Can you tell me what you dreamt about?"

Olaf shook his head.

"Please? Mama's here, okay?" Trying to lighten the mood, Anna softly pinched his cheek. "Come on, you're a big boy. Nobody's going to hurt you. We're both here."

He turned to Elsa as if asking for her approval in silence. When she nodded, he sniffled, using his arm to wipe away the tears laid in the corner of his eyes. "I-I had a dream… that Mama… y-you were… you left and you said you were never going to love me a-again. M-Mama, please don't leave me…" He started weeping again, his face pressed against the crook of Anna's neck.

"Oh, baby, no." Sighing - as well as choking back apologetic words - she hugged the little man tightly, her hand patting his back. "Shh, it's okay. It's okay. I'm here… Mama won't leave you. I promise."

"I-I really thought you would g-go away…"

Anna bit her lip, shaking her head. "How could I ever go away? I won't, honey. I'll always be here."

"R-Really?" he mumbled. "Y-You won't leave Mom either?"

For a second, Anna didn't know what to say - but all she could feel was this heartache. She turned to Elsa, and the exact same expression that she had was mirrored on Elsa's face. Without a word, she placed a hand on Elsa's, letting their fingers entwine between each other.

Ah, the squeeze of Elsa's hand on hers was comforting. And Elsa came closer, her other hand holding Olaf's… her head placed on Anna's shoulder.

"Mama won't leave us. Right?" she whispered.

Olaf picked his head up, seeing his two parents' soft expression. "Mama, you promise?"

"I promise, baby." _I hope._


	8. Chapter 8

The park was quiet - almost empty, even on a weekend - and just walking through it was kind of enjoyable. It was nearly 12 in the afternoon too.

The breeze through the park was soothing, cars were zooming through the streets, and the leaves - colored in brown and red - were crackling through the wind, some even falling to the ground.

Anna was silent, looking up to the clear blue sky, her hand in her pocket, another holding onto Olaf's little hand. Elsa was holding onto the other.

"What do you want to eat later, honey?" Elsa asked.

The boy hummed and shrugged, turning his Mama. He tugged on her hand. "Mama?"

Anna blinked. _Ah, there goes my peace._ She grinned. "What's up?"

"What do you want to eat?"

She looked up to Elsa, who tilted her head, and then back to her son. "I don't know, what do you want?"

He pouted. "That's why I asked you…"

"Ah, sorry." Anna smiled. "I don't know, I thought you'd want to wait until dinner to get stuffed?"

Elsa laughed. "It's not that big of a dinner, Anna."

She shrugged. "What is Thanksgiving for if there's no big dinner? Am I right?" The redhead swung Olaf's hand with hers, prompting the kid to giggle with glee. At this moment, Anna felt completely refreshed. To see Olaf laugh after this morning reminded her of how kids could really get. One minute, they'd be crying, and the next, they'd act like nothing happened before.

And honestly… how was Anna ever different from being a child? She could feel her heart tighten just looking at those two.

It wasn't their fault that Anna was this way - at least, that was what she thought of herself - she chose to be… well, selfish for wanting Elsa back. For trying to push her love onto Elsa when it was completely unneeded.

No, of course, she didn't need Anna's love. Right now, they had to put up a mask for Olaf. Right now, Anna could only, truly love Olaf behind all that acting. She wondered why she hadn't become an Oscar nominee after all this time of putting up a face in front of Olaf and especially, her ex-wife. It sucked, but at least, they were opening up to each other now.

Olaf continued to swing on both of his mothers' arms to and fro. "Hm… Mama's right. Ooh, we can get waffles! I want waffles, Mom. With lotttts of whip cream!"

"Shhh, Olaf!" Anna pressed a finger to her lips. "You know Mom would never approve."

"O-Oh…"

She hummed. "Normally, I wouldn't let you but…" Anna gave her a look. Elsa sighed in defeat. "Alright, we can go get waffles after this."

"Yes!" Both Anna and Olaf shouted together. She didn't even have to see how Elsa rolled her eyes to know she was a tad bit annoyed. Though, it was all fun and games, and Elsa quickly recovered with a smile placed on her face.

"Alright, Olaf, why don't you go and play. Mama and I will just walk around the area for a bit okay? We'll keep an eye on you."

"Okay!" Olaf beamed in excitement and quickly ran off to the field where a few kids also resided.

Ah, finally some quietness. But even with Olaf here, Anna didn't mind. Not at all. She'd spend every last second with Olaf if she could but… Anna slowly turned to her ex-lover, her smile fading. She wondered why hadn't Elsa's faded too. It was always that soft, gentle look… and it was just completely out of place. Completely out of character. Anna didn't need to be reminded of the person Elsa used to be.

"Shall we walk around?"

Anna looked down, scratching the back of her neck. "Y-Yeah." Ah, she reluctantly said it. Right now, all she was thinking about was what she could say next. Nothing came to mind - nothing could be said, anyway.

But they continued to walk around the park, keeping Olaf near them. Anna had her eyes down on the brick road.

"The weather's nice today."

Anna nodded. "Yeah."

"I wish it'd be that nice every day."

"Yeah…"

"Anna, why don't you look at me?"

The redhead froze. "It's just…" She gulped, before turning to Elsa. "Do I deserve to look at you?"

Elsa sighed. "Anna -"

"I'm sorry." She put her hands in her pockets, kicking her feet against the ground. "I think I… I think you're right. I've always been… taught to be selfless, never selfish. To make sure that I put others above me." Anna swallowed, talking quietly. None of this should be heard by Olaf. "I don't know why, but even the slightest thing - to even say 'no' to the people I love, irks me so much so that if I ever think of it, I'll always think that I'll end up losing them." She stopped her footsteps, turning fully to Elsa. "To losing you. And I didn't want to lose you."

And in the moment, all was silent. Anna had outed herself in a place, perhaps, was inappropriate. At a time where they should have just been happily walking around. But no, Anna was impatient. And Elsa - Anna wanted to laugh at herself - perhaps, Elsa was unempathetic, still. But Elsa just stared in complete silence - in awe.

"I got that feeling that was it." Elsa nodded, admittedly. "How ironic. Being selfless… is making us selfish."

Anna scoffed at herself. "Yeah."

"Here, why we don't we go sit for a minute. We'll talk."

Anna slowly agreed and walked to a bench that was closest to them, while they also kept their eyes on Olaf. And even without any words being said at the moment, Anna's head was completely occupied with those words.

Elsa sighed, leaning back against her seat beside Anna. "Isn't it strange? These past few days… we've been talking more about this than any other times."

"Yeah." Anna waved at Olaf, who waved at them back. She let out a breath. "It's good that we're talking about it. I… I rarely know what you're thinking sometimes, Elsa. Plus with Olaf around… I'd rather us talk alone." She paused. "I don't want what happened to happen again."

Elsa reached for her hand… which, although, Anna hated to think that this divorce was hindering their time together, Anna still craved to touch her. Even in the slightest. Anna turned to her, letting Elsa's fingers laced with hers… letting her fingers squeeze on hers. Ah, what a familiar sensation.

"I didn't want you to feel so broken if I ever said anything, Anna."

"But at least we're talking now." She chuckled, shaking her head. "Right?"

Elsa nodded. "Right."

She cleared her throat. "So… what happened to Olaf this morning, does it happen often?"

Immediately, this soft, quiet atmosphere they had together had grown grim. Elsa was quiet, her expression darkening. She was looking away. Anna was immediately visibly anxious. "Elsa…?"

"It's… been happening for a while. Not long after we broke up, that is."

"What -"

"Recently, the dreams stopped until today."

Anna sighed in defeat. "No… N-no, come on -"

"Anna, I didn't want to tell you. I didn't want you to worry."

She let the woman's hand go, and let her fingers run through her hair. "Elsa, _he's my son_ …" she whispered. Anna felt a hand on her back. "What does he often dream about…?"

Elsa didn't say.

"Elsa, _please._ " Anna immediately gazed at her with plea, and finally, Elsa looked away to their son.

"Often about you. About how you would… tell him that you hate him, that you would leave. Anna, sometimes I can't even sleep because I'm always worried about his dreams."

"Does Meg know?"

She felt Elsa's fingers on her twitch. "No, she doesn't."

"Oh God…" Anna pressed the bottom of her palms against her eyes. For fuck's sake, she really wanted to cry - to be weak and vulnerable for once, but she just couldn't. Not with Olaf in their sight. "How? How could we let this happen?"

"That's why I wanted you to stay for the night, Anna. He needed his Mama."

She shook her head. "But clearly, me being there didn't work. Elsa, what… what the hell am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, Anna. I don't know…"

"How could you not know?" Anna grimaced. She didn't want her son to be in pain, and now? After everything, Elsa didn't know how to stop those dreams? What a fucking joke. And while Anna wanted to fault Elsa for all this, she couldn't. Both of them did this, and all Anna could do was be there when Olaf needed her, regardless if she was enough or not. Anna succumbed to defeat. "It's okay. What we can do… if you'd let me, give Olaf to me for a few days."

Elsa nodded. "I thought about that too. You can have him for a bit. You know what he eats and doesn't eat right?"

She didn't give a second glance at her, looking out front. "Yeah."

"Anna, you're angry -"

"I'm not -" Anna shut her eyes. "I'm not angry. I'm disappointed. In myself. In how much… no matter how much I care for you two, I'm just not always there."

"You've done plenty," Elsa replied, prompting Anna to turn. The confusion she had in her eyes didn't falter Elsa at all. Surely, moving out and only seeing Olaf after school was definitely not enough. But Elsa still gazed at her so lovingly, that Anna almost forgot they had broken apart.

 _What have we done?_

Sniffling, Anna mirrored her expression - and when she wanted to say thank you… Elsa's arms were around her, her head laid against Anna's shoulder. Ah, when was the last time they hugged like this? When was the last time Anna could smell her wonderful scent?

Anna slowly placed her arms around her waist too, her fingers playing with her ring.

"Olaf and I will always need you, Anna."

The woman could definitely feel tears forming. No, she had to be strong. "I know. And I will always need both of you. Thank you.""

* * *

"Hey, kid, what are you doing? Just laying around?"

Olaf blinked, looking up to see Anna standing above him, her legs placed on his side. He giggled, spreading his arms and legs.

After a long talk, Elsa was off to get themselves a drink before lunch began. Anna had to stay to look after the kid, only to find him with his eyes closed, laying around on the green field. Even regardless of having to have other kids around him think he was weird, Olaf didn't seem too bothered.

Anna always liked that about it - so carefree and always thinking about being good.

"Mama, join me?"

Anna let out a big smile. "Alright." She laid beside him, eyes looking up at the blue sky.

"Where's Mom?"

"Buying drinks." She turned to see big blue eyes on her. "You're not going to fall asleep, are you?"

Olaf giggled. "No, Mama…"

She pinched his cheek. "Good. We'll be eating soon so I don't want you to be napping out here." She yawned. "Although, it is a nice weather…"

"Mama?"

"Hm?"

Olaf turned his body to his side, and slowly placed his head against Anna's chest. Her fingers ran through his soft hair. And for a minute, they were quiet - and Anna knew it whenever it was quiet between them, Olaf was thinking. Ah, What a smart kid -

"Mama, do you love Mom?"

Anna blinked. "What? Of course I love your mother. Olaf…"

"I-I want to talk…" Olaf pouted.

Anna had to give him her undivided attention. Even if it meant her heart was going to break. "Yeah, I'm here. What's wrong?"

"Because lately, Mama… Mama, she cries…"

Anna froze. "Olaf, baby -"

"Mama, um… every time you bring me home, she gets sad. And I get sad 'cause… 'cause you're not here."

She didn't know what to say. What to do. She had never heard Olaf speak this softly… never had him talk about stuff like this. For Christ sake, he was only in the first grade. She didn't need to see Olaf's eyes to know how deeply he had been suffering too.

"Mama? Are you and Mom not together anymore?"

Anna placed a hand against her mouth. She was almost glad Olaf wasn't looking her way - she didn't need his kid to see her cry. To see them suffer. She took a deep breath and slowly sat themselves up.

She had to hold it together. And Olaf… Olaf was just gazing at her with such blank, disappointed expression. Anna didn't need this.

"Olaf…" She placed her hands on his arms, squeezing softly. She even tried to offer a smile but… nobody could smile at this anymore. And even then, she had to keep acting. "Baby, there are things… that you will only understand once you're older. Mama loves your mother very much - I'll do anything for you two, you know? But sometimes… doing anything can be very difficult -"

"It's okay!"

Anna blinked. "W-What?"

Olaf let out a timid smile. "It's okay, Mama. As long as we're together, it's okay. Heh, and plus… I'm a big boy!" He slowly stood up, crossing his arms over his chest. "I can take care of Mom, and if she's sad, I promise I'll make her happy again."

Anna was completely speechless, and slowly, tears began streaming down her cheeks. But she smiled - a very big smile that she never thought she could give. She offered her pinky to him, nodding. "Do you promise?"

Olaf crossed his pinky on Anna's. "I promise."

"You two! Get down from there, we're going to grab lunch!"

The two turned to see Elsa with three cold drinks in her hands. "Okay!" Anna replied, before turning back to her son. "Alright, honey. That was a nice talk."

"Mhm! Let's go get waffles!"

And when they were down, they each both grabbed their drinks from Elsa's hand and continued their walk out of the park. But while Anna still had a mask on, on the inside, she was hurting. Why didn't Elsa tell her? Why didn't she ever say that she had been depressed?

Anna turned to the woman who was occupied with talking to Olaf. Of course, she didn't look the part… but did neither did Anna. If Olaf hadn't said anything, she wouldn't have known. She sighed to herself.

"Mama?"

"Hm?" Anna looked down.

"Mama, hold Mom's hand! Look!"

She gazed at their held hands… and the other empty hand of Elsa's. Was this normal, of course not. But that was what Olaf wanted - for them to show signs that they still loved each other. To give Olaf hope… that they were still together.

Anna grinned and held the woman's hand, lacing her fingers between Elsa's. And before she knew it, she leaned in to kiss Elsa's cheek. "There." Elsa raised an eyebrow, which Anna promptly ignored.

"Yay!" At least, this was what made Olaf happy.

* * *

 _a/n: :') im sad_


	9. Chapter 9

It was the most fun that Anna had that day - the most honest she could be with Elsa. Disregarding all the horror that had happened in the marriage, Anna tried her very best to love those two people as much as possible. Trying to make everything seem like normal to Olaf.

Happily, they went to eat, went shopping for clothes… just being able to enjoy each other's company.

But on the inside, Anna was more scared to see that Olaf knew what was going on. He wasn't explicit about it. Anna just couldn't imagine what else he knew. The boy was only in the first grade, and while Meg had always said he was a smart, kind kid… that was just an understatement.

It was evening soon and the family had just arrived home. Olaf was being carried by his Mama, his giggles not only making Anna laugh too, but it just brightened the entirety of the day even more. These days, moments without hearing Olaf's laughs or his smiles was incredibly bleak.

"Mama, are we going to do that thing again?" Olaf questioned, setting himself down on the floor, his hand reaching for Anna's.

The redhead squeezed his tiny fingers. "What thing?" She noticed Elsa raise an eyebrow in curiosity too as she silently opened the door to their home.

"You know, the thing! We always try to make an art piece with food…"

"Oohh…" Anna slowly nodded. Maybe it wasn't the best idea now, seeing how Elsa just sighed.

"Olaf, what did I tell you about playing with your food?"

The boy dropped his head. "Oh… sorry, Mom…"

Anna smiled apologetically. "Sorry, kid, we don't want Mom to get mad at us again. Maybe later we can play games?"  
That surely had to cheer Olaf up, and it did, as he beamed with delight. "Okay! I'm gonna go change my clothes."

She ruffled his hair. "Yeah, go do that."

Finally, with Olaf running up the stairs and the two being alone, Anna finally got to spend some… well, time with Elsa. She knew today was odd - especially with Anna being more affectionate than before. Yes, they had kissed before, but those kisses were just empty actions. Something to show that Anna still wanted Elsa by her side, no matter if it was love or not.

She watched nervously as Elsa enter the kitchen to start cooking. "Hey." She wrapped her arms around her waist, standing against doorway behind Elsa.

The blonde turned in the midst of opening the fridge. "Hi."

Her eyebrows wrinkled with worry. "Can we talk?"

She tilted her head. "Is… something on your mind?"

Anna shrugged. "No, I'm - I know today has been weird. Um, I suppose I just want things to be back to normal - not like, normal, _normal_ , you know?" She flustered. "B-But for Olaf…" Anna took in a deep, steady breath, seeing how Elsa's raised eyebrows only meant complete confusion. "For Olaf, I wanted us to be a family. For a day. So I'm sorry if I was too... affectionate."

"I see."

"Was I… too affectionate?"

Her expression, although soft, had a hint of mystery to it. The way Elsa looked down on the ground, her arms crossed over her chest gave nothing away. And for a moment, Anna thought she had said the wrong thing. "I'll be honest… I had a bit of a moment when you," she squinted her eyes, "held my hand and kissed me, where I just didn't know what you were trying to do. I thought you were suddenly becoming bold and selfish to woo me back."

Anna was completely taken back. But she was right - Anna did want her back. Just not like this, that is. "I can't say what you thought was wrong."

"So I'm not?"

"Let's just say it's all pretend." She paused. " _Olaf knows."_

A moment had passed in silence, but the two of them - their mind, their heart - was littered with voices. The way Elsa's eyebrows furrowed when she looked away in confusion, her head shaking, worried Anna to bits. "He… _knows?_ What do you mean he _knows_?"

"You know what I mean, Elsa." Anna couldn't take it anymore. She quickly came close to her, her fingers grasping on Elsa's. Honesty was always the key, and she had no patience to wait for Elsa to say anything else. She frowned, gazing into Elsa's blue eyes - the ones that quickly grew scared, rather than cold. Oh, that was the loving Elsa that Anna remembered. "What the hell does he mean when he said you cry? Do you cry when I'm not here?" Elsa suddenly grew tense. Visibly. Physically.

"Anna, what are you talking about?"

"He told me!" Anna twitched, squinting at the way the blonde avoided looking at her. "Why -"

"Mama, Mom! Uncle Hans is here!"

The two ladies quickly turned to where the front door was, Olaf casually opening it to let the man in. When did he get down from his room? Anna quickly let go of her grip on her ex-lover. The two stood there stiff, watching the man walk in casually. Like this was his home. Taking his shoes off. Ruffling Olaf's hair like that was his son.

Anna gritted her teeth. _Damn it all._ The last person she ever wanted to see was him right now.

"Hey, buddy! How's my favorite boy?"

"Good!"

He quickly swept Olaf up into his arms, prompting the boy to giggle. "Oh, Anna, you're here. Joining us for dinner?"

The redhead begrudgingly looked away. "Yeah. Helping Elsa make dinner." Her tone completely changed. Anna knew that. The hatred in her voice had to be shown to him. Though, it seemed like he had no clue whatsoever.

"Oh, you should have called me earlier so I could help out!" How could he be so fucking cheerful?

Anna glared at Elsa, whispering, "He has the keys to this house?"

"Of course, he does -"

She turned away. "You know what, I don't think I really want to hear more."

Hans slowly put Olaf down before walking towards the girls. "Go, watch some TV, I'll join you later."

"I'm gonna watch Steven Universe!"

He smiled. "You do that, buddy." Anna rolled her eyes. She didn't care if Elsa saw it - in fact, she'd love for Elsa to see how disgusted she was with Hans. Especially now with his hands on their shoulder and his breath behind them. "What are we making tonight?"

Anna stayed silent.

"The usual, Hans. But with a turkey, this time," Elsa answered. Way too cheerfully. Like she was pretending that everything was just fine the way it was. Perhaps, even better than fine! Anna wanted to vomit.

"Mm… that's my girl." Hans kissed her. This was infuriating. Especially when Anna was just inches away from them, his hand on her shoulder. If only Anna could punch him in the face, but she'd love to keep her own reputation for Elsa too.

Quickly, she gently swatted Hans' hand off of her. "I'm gonna go upstairs for a bit. Call me if you guys need anything."

"Anna -"

"Don't." The woman raised her hand to stop Elsa from saying anything else. She could just _feel_ Elsa and Hans' eyes watching her as she strode upstairs. Really, there wasn't much to do up there, but… all she needed was some time to gather her own thoughts.

Walking into Elsa's bedroom was the last thing she wanted to do but by impulse… she just went in. She sat there - the side where she'd always sleep - her eyes gazing blankly at her open palms. She shouldn't be feeling this way. She was supposed to be happy for Elsa! Hans could give her everything that Anna couldn't. Hans could make her happy.

She started playing with her ring, sighing. The defeat that she felt when looking at the two kiss in front of her unbearable. They had done that plenty of times, yet, every time it always felt like it was the first time.

Anna slowly picked her head up when she heard a knock on the door. Gods, she just wanted to be alone. Especially if that man was going to interrupt her peace.

That smile he had churned Anna's stomach. "Hey, I thought we should talk."

Anna didn't say anything, watching Hans come and stand across from her, his back against the wall.

He cleared his throat. "Maybe it's just me but… I get the feeling that you don't… well, you don't want me here."

Anna rolled her eyes. "Now why would I think that? This is your home too." _Lies, lies, lies._

Hans chuckled. "I mean with Elsa." He paused for a short moment. In that short moment, Anna wanted nothing more than to strangle him. He hadn't done anything wrong, no. The thought of someone else having to hold Elsa felt… wrong. "I understand that you were her wife, but -"

Anna slowly got up with a sigh. "You're right." They looked into each other's eyes but there was nothing in Hans that could expose anything. That could expose any dirty things he could have done. Oh, Anna could only wish. "I have no right to be angry. I'm _not_ angry. You just take care of her, alright -" Just as she was about to walk past him, she felt a hand grasping her wrist.

"Do you know why she left you?"

Anna's eyes widened in anger, and immediately, she pulled her hand away from his. But she didn't move. She didn't say anything. She wished she could say fuck off to him, but Anna knew. She knew there had to be a reason, and she knew what it was.

But for Hans to know too? Elsa must have despised their marriage too much.

"She said you were too selfless," Hans answered. "That you care too much about her that you don't seem to care about yourself. You -"

"I know that!" Anna shut her eyes. "I know that… but now it's too late." She wanted to get out of here right now.

"She only told me because she cares, Anna."

Anna growled. "If she did she should've come to me first."

"You know her better than I do. She doesn't want to hurt your feelings. And I guess… she just wants you to change. For someone else."

For someone else? Was this always what Elsa wanted? Did she want to get rid of Anna just like that? The redhead could feel the anger in her heart dimming down to disappointment.

"I don't _have_ anyone else," Anna pressed.

Why, Hans was telling her all the things that she already knew, was beyond Anna. They were fine for the past few days - being honest, being alright to be next to each other. She didn't need a person - and outsider - to lecture her about all the mistakes she had made.

Anna turned to the door, unable to look at him. Unable to feel the pity he had for her. "You just… take good care of her. That's all I'll ever ask of you."

* * *

"Okay, so when Olaf goes to sleep, read him this."

"Yep."

"Also, you know what he doesn't like to eat right -"

The redhead groaned with exasperation. She felt like she was getting lectured this whole ten minute of being in Olaf's room, packing things. "I got it, Elsa. Let me take care of everything." Anna grabbed the duffle bag that was filled with Olaf's clothes and a few toys.

After dinner - a mostly quiet one and a little bit stiff, considering Anna was in quite a grumpy mood - Hans went back home and Elsa took her time to pack all the things that Anna would need. She didn't think she'd get so agitated with Hans being in their home, but… she did handle herself well enough. Well enough that Elsa wasn't complaining, at least.

Olaf would be staying with her for a few days. The redhead wanted this but she'd never expected Elsa to agree. Their talk in the park was especially relieving to Anna.

To her, Olaf was the one thing that Elsa could never let go. Neither of them could honestly. As a mother, Elsa was strict, though, she was more caring and loving than Anna could ever be. At least, that was what Anna believed.

Olaf was downstairs, being told to do his homework. He was a good kid - always obeying his mother's orders. Always making sure that they were both happy, and they were! And perhaps… Olaf got that trait for Anna. All of it.

The blonde sighed with worry, holding onto Anna's arm, and squeezed. "You know I worry."

Anna smiled tenderly and nodded. "I know. But he's my son too."

Ah, it was always that line that shut Elsa's mouth. She looked away, nodding in agreement. "You're right, he is. I shouldn't treat you like you're a stranger."

 _But you do._ Anna wasn't going to say that. "He's allergic to cats. Don't like raisins. Love carrots. His best friend is Kat. Don't worry about it, Elsa."

The woman slowly backed away and sat on Olaf's bed, her head dropping. "It's not every day that I don't see him, Anna." She chuckled. "And you're not particularly that good at cooking either."

Anna rolled her eyes. "Oh please, when you're not here, I'll be making him Kraft Mac and Cheese. I'm practically a master chef. He loves it."

Elsa raised her eyebrows at Anna, who stood against the wall. "Maybe I should pack him a few snacks -"

" _I got it, Elsa,"_ Anna emphasized. "Carrots, pretzels, juice. No wonder why he never gets sick, and you being all fit -" She stopped herself, quickly her cheeks flushed red. "I mean… you're a health freak. Not that I mind."

She sighed, chuckling. Ah, never had their conversation been so light. There wasn't a hint of bitterness, which was a refreshing start. After all, while Anna would love to speak about Hans… she'd also love things to be normal. Again. Especially with small talks like this.

"You should try doing that sometimes."

She scoffed. "Sometimes? I eat and do healthy _all_ the time."

"Let me guess, you have… a box of leftover pizza on the table, clothes thrown on the couch, and plates are in the sink for… god knows how long?"

Silence.

" _Shit."_

In disbelief, Elsa continued to laugh heartily. "Well, now when you get home, you'll have something to do with Olaf. And don't speak that language with Olaf too, please?"

How could Anna forget? Elsa hated her swearing - well, other than the times where they… well, made love, but that wasn't the point. Anna crossed her fingers over her chest. "I swear, I will take care of our son, till death do us part. Good enough?"

"Perfect."

* * *

a _/n: a little fluff wouldn't hurt right?_


	10. Chapter 10

"Whoa…"

Anna smiled clumsily at the sight of her son being in awe when they entered her apartment. Though, it wasn't like there was much to be amazed… seeing how she hadn't cleaned up at all, after all. Gods, how could Elsa be right about everything?

"Alright, make yourself at home, buddy."

Olaf was already walking around for his little own house tour as she dropped the duffle bag on the couch. Anna wasn't sure how to even react. She'd at least expect Olaf to complain about the mess but…

"Is that a Nintendo Switch?!" He gasped, pointing at the gaming console sitting on the counter, below the TV. "Mom would never buy that…"

Of course she wouldn't. Not with Olaf still being so young, Elsa definitely didn't want the little guy to be distracted from his studies with something like this. Perhaps… Anna having her own independence had some nice perks.

Anna grinned proudly. "Mama earned enough money to get something like this so we can play together. Don't tell your mother, okay?"

"A pizza box! Ew!" He giggled as he picked up a slice of half-eaten pizza from the box in the kitchen. It was probably a week old. Perhaps, more. "I like this." Oh for god's sake. At least, Anna realized what the blonde meant when there was much to do at home.

She groaned. "Olaf, go wash your hands." She pointed at the sink. With Elsa not here, she had to act like a proper adult. A proper parent.

"But Mamaaaa…"

She placed her hands on her hips, raising her eyebrows. "Olaf Arendelle. Now." Elsa always used that stern voice… _it'll work._

Immediately, Olaf managed to turn on the faucet in the kitchen to wash his hands.

Looking around, Anna honestly hadn't realized how much of a mess her living room was.

Clothes were thrown randomly, there were papers on the floor, and God knows what kind of food was on that table.

She wasn't going to even imagine what her bedroom looked like. Especially if Olaf was going to stay for a week or so.

She scratched her head, gazing down at her living room table. Beer cans, files, paperwork, were all sitting there waiting for a cleanup. _Ugh, the stench…_

"Alright." She gazed up at the clock. _8:45… "_ Let's get you to shower - Olaf, pft, what are you doing now?" How long had she been standing there in a daze to not even realize Olaf was taking out an empty garbage bag? For God's sake, he was already throwing trash away! _Is this what usually kids do?_

The boy looked down, then back to his Mama. "Um… cleaning?"

Anna shook her head with a raised amused eyebrow, laughing in disbelief. _This is ridiculous._ "Why?"

"Well…" He bit his lip, watching Anna come to him, bending down to his height. Oh, those eyes were so bright, so innocent. Her heart felt tight at the sight. At this age… Olaf should be throwing tantrums. Playing. Begging his parents not to sleep early. Anna ran her fingers through his hair. "I-I thought if I clean, Mama would be happy. P-Plus!" He let go of the bag, his thumbs circling around each other. "I-I see Mom clean sometimes, and I wanted to help, and she always says she doesn't like dirty places so…"

"Ah…"

"Mama, are you tired?"

She cocked her head. "Me? No, never."

"'cause if you are, you can take a nap."

With another hearty laughter - though, Anna really wanted to cry, seeing how considerate they raised their son to be - Anna ruffled his hair. "No, how could I nap with you doing all the work? It should be the opposite."

"But I like cleaning!"

"I'm sure you do." She grabbed the black trash bag and stood up. "Are you sure you don't want to look around any further? Play some games…?"

The boy shook his head, his fluffy hair just going with his movement. Ah, Anna really wanted to hug him to bits. How could such a child be this cute?! "I wanna clean with Mama." He gasped. "Oh, can we call Mom too? Please?!"

"Alright, alright!" She tried shrugging the boy from her arms. Never had Anna seen him become so hyper before. "Just hang on for a second, okay? I'll wash my hands."

For half an hour, the two spent time cleaning the house. Sure, it was late… and supposedly, Olaf's time to go to bed, but Anna didn't care - seeing how Olaf wasn't going to be going to school for another day. Plus, this was the only time Anna got to spend time with her son.

She was jealous, obviously. Of her ex-wife. While Anna was out working, being aggravated by this baggage of their marriage… Elsa spent her time every day with Olaf at home. The only thing she ever got was taking Olaf back to that house she'd rarely step foot in.

But now, it was different. Elsa was opening up. Olaf… while having those nightmares, was smiling and giggling at the fact that Mama got to spend time with him. She was glad, watching the boy in the living room, stacking papers neatly on top of each other.

"Olaf, baby, are you tired?" she asked loudly from the kitchen.

"Nope!"

She sighed. "It's almost 10, buddy. Are you sure?" Anna turned back from the kitchen and looked into the living room. At least now, the place was a bit tidied up.

"Yep!" He continued to stack those papers without looking at her mother.

"This child…" she whispered to herself. Not that Anna could complain. He was weird… weird in a good way though. "Alright, but you have to take a shower later, understand -" A specific ringtone sounded in her pocket. Gods, she really needed to change that if she didn't want others to know how much she still yearned for Elsa to come back.

Even Olaf knew what it was, seeing him gasp and run up to his mother. "Is it Mom? That's Mom, isn't it?!"

"H-Hey, hang on!" As impatient as Olaf was, Anna wasn't. Just slightly nervous, that's all. And perhaps, that was also an understatement.

It wasn't the first time Elsa called - just the fact that… well, things were difficult. Even more so, now.

She let out a perfect smile when she answered the FaceTime. "Hey, you're not sleeping?"

Elsa waved from the other side. " _In bed right now, actually. What are you doing?"_

"Oh, you know, just cleaning."

" _Glad you're doing something productive."_

Anna groaned. "Now what's that supposed to mean? I'm doing it with Olaf, remember?"

In the corner of her eyes, she noticed the boy jumping up and down, his little hands patting Anna's legs. "Mama… pleaseeee…"

"Oh, here. Say hi to Mom."

"Mom, hi!" Olaf screamed, his little feet jumping up and down with excitement.

" _Hi, honey. I hope you're having fun, do you miss me?"_ Anna had never seen such a big smile crossing Elsa's face.

"Yeah! A lot!"

The two slowly walked to the couch to have a nice chat. " _It's too bad, honey. You'll be back home soon, alright? Mama is taking good care of you?"_

"Uh huh." He giggled. "She got old pizza in the kitchen."

" _I figured._ _Did you help her clean them up?"_

"Yeah!"

Anna just had to roll her eyes, playfully. There wasn't a thing between those two that could ever stop them from teasing her. "Guys, I'm right here. Listen, we took a while to clean, alright? I didn't even notice until Olaf pointed everything out to me. We had fun too."

Elsa chortled slightly, shaking her head. " _Oh, I know. Olaf makes it fun."_

She whispered, "Does that not drive you crazy sometimes?"

" _You're talking like that's a bad thing. Anyway, you two shouldn't stay up too long._ "

"Yeah, I know." She wrapped her arm around Olaf, feeling the boy casually leaning his head against her, bright eyes looking at the screen. "Just thought we'd call to see how's everything. Glad you did it first."

" _Call me anytime so I don't get bored at home by myself, alright?"_

"Mom, you should visit!" he exclaimed loudly. Ah, that was one thing Anna hoped Olaf wouldn't say. The woman hadn't visited for… well, months, actually. There was only a handful of times where Elsa would come up to do whatever that was needed to be done, but for a while now, she hadn't done that. She didn't need to do that.

There was a short moment of awkward silence between them before Elsa let out a sigh. Whatever it was - relief or disappointment - Anna was just glad she was the one to say something first.

" _I'm not going to come up to see a mess again, right?"_

Anna nervously chuckled. "Of course not, I learned my lesson."

" _Then I'll think about it. Anyway, it's nice to call you both. I should get to bed soon."_

"Alright, say bye to Mom, Olaf."

The boy waved. "Bye Mom, I love you."

" _Love you too, baby."_

* * *

"Mama, why didn't you tell Mom you love her before?"

Anna blinked as she smothered the bare boy's body with liquid soap. After the call, Anna knew it was getting pretty late where playing games with Olaf tonight would only leave the two not sleeping at all. So she canceled that plan. So here they were, Anna giving her son a bath.

Never did she expect that question to come up. Not even from this little man right here.

Her heart clenched at those words, but… well, it wasn't like she wasn't used to it anymore. Everyone would ask her questions about her divorce - Kristoff, Meg… now, him. She smiled, almost broken, almost… well, depressing. "Mom knows I love her, it's okay." She grabbed a washing cloth to wipe him down.

"But I say it, even though I know Mom loves me. Is this another thing that I won't understand until I'm older?"

"Well, I can tell you now, but… I don't know if you'll like it."

Olaf covered his mouth. "Shh, I won't tell Mom, I promise," he whispered between his fingers.

Ah, how obedient could he ever be? Taking a deep breath, she looked up at the ceiling. "Well, what if I told you… Mom also loves another person more than your Mama? Another person that could be another parent to you? Would you like that?"

Olaf frowned, tilting his head. "What? Why would she love someone more than you?"

"Well, when someone grows tired of having to be with another person… they move on." As much as it was hard for Anna to talk about this to Olaf, this was the least he could know. She knew she shouldn't do this - not with Elsa always saying he was too young to understand - but he was growing older. Wiser. Aware. _Are six-year-olds supposed to be like this?_

Olaf pouted. "Does that mean… Mom moved on because she grew tired of you?"

Anna couldn't help but chuckle. Though, it was very heartbreaking. "You can say that."

"What about you, Mama? Have you grown tired?"

 _I wish it was that easy._ "If I did, baby, you wouldn't be here, right? Sometimes… Mama needs to be the bigger person and let her go. If someone doesn't want to do something with you, you wouldn't continue to urge them to do it, right?" It was the easiest way to put it for Olaf, but even those words didn't speak the truth to her. Of course, Anna… she definitely wanted her back. She wanted that love back, but what could she do?

"That's true… Mama?"

"Hm?"

"Is this why Uncle Hans always come over?"

Anna didn't want to admit it. But for the sake of Olaf, for telling him the truth, she nodded. "I suppose so. Would you like him to be your adopted father?"

Olaf pouted. "Uncle Hans buys me stuff but… I like Mama more."

She laughed. "And why is that? Come on, let's wrap you in a towel."

As Olaf carefully got out of the bathtub, having a fluffy pink blanket wrapped around his body, he shrugged. "Just 'cause you're Mama, that's all. There's only one Mama in this world, and that's you." Oh, what could Anna do, really, with that cute face and that sweet little voice of his? In all honesty, perhaps, she was just satisfied to hear Olaf still wanted her as his mother. Her heart, although shattered, was mended and softened by his words. Wise words for a first grader.

With a relieved smile, she kissed the boy's head. "Alright, come on, let's get you to bed now."

* * *

Elsa didn't plan on doing anything the evening Hans came over. Of course, she made dinner with Hans helping her out, sometimes sneaking little kisses and hugs with Elsa. She didn't mind it. Elsa had always been fond of affections.

While they ate, they were more talkative than usual. Hans was talking about what he did at work, and Elsa went about her day of walking around and hanging out with her neighbors. Of course, she also made a new friend - Tiana. The woman who she had met during Olaf's Thanksgiving performance.

It had been two days since Olaf was gone - and every moment of the day, Elsa had to wonder what those two dorks were doing. Playing video games, eating things that usually Elsa wouldn't approve… all that, she could forgive. At the moment, at least.

"Hey, is something bothering you?"

Elsa blinked, finally realizing she had been dazing away for some time now. "Oh, sorry, I was just… just tired, that's all."

He nodded, a concerned look on his face being very prominent before taking another bite of his food. "Well, you should sleep early tonight. Do you want me to stay over?"

Did she? Really, Hans hadn't been over for some time now. "Yeah, I'd like that."

For a moment, Hans was quiet, his eyes kept on the woman who had not been looking at him for some time now. "You know… I've been keeping this in for a while now, I didn't have the heart to say anything but I guess, I have to now. Is Anna still…" Elsa felt the hair on the back of her neck stand. "You know she still loves you right?"

"She does?" Elsa wasn't surprised at all.

"Yeah. She says the complete opposite, but I can see it in her eyes. Did you know?"

"Hans -"

"No, listen." He put his utensils down, eyebrows crossed. "I thought if I told you that I'd move in, she'd want to… I don't know, give up on having these feelings for you. It's a weird way to put it, but you need to tell her everything's different now."

"I know, Hans. You know how stubborn she can be."

"I'm _worried_ , Elsa. About her… about _you._ "

Elsa tensed up. Hans never spoke about this before - and perhaps, he was only speaking about now when he went up to talk to Anna. "There's nothing between us, Hans, you know that -"

"Enough." He huffed, getting up from his seat. "Clearly, you still think about her. What am I doing here, Elsa?"

The woman squinted, standing up. "Think about her? We have a son, Hans, how could I not?"

"I SAID ENOUGH!" He slammed his fist on the table, prompting a startled jolt from Elsa. Hans never yelled before… never raged like this. He was always calm like the sea. That's what Elsa had always loved about him. But, of course, subjects like this would make both of them feel agitated. Hans' wild eyes widened when silence ensued them. "I…" He sighed, taking a deep breath. "I'm going to get some fresh air."

"Hans -"

"No, don't. _Just don't."_

* * *

a _/n: big yikes. poor olaf... poor everyone :(_


	11. Chapter 11: my heart can't take this

She was right about one thing - Anna was stupidly selfless. She was right about another too - that her love for Anna… wasn't as strong as it used to be when they first met. Elsa wasn't sure how long she could hold on because of Olaf, but she needed to let go. Maybe not now, but soon.

Everything changed. Nothing was right. The world that was her Anna was not black and white anymore, but a shade of gray. Perhaps, not only was Anna that… but so was her own heart and mind.

Elsa knew what she wanted. She wanted Anna to have some self-respect for herself. She wanted Anna to stop serving her like a dog in a leash. Was it too much to ask? Was this so hard to do?

She didn't push Anna to change. She wished she did, but it was all in vain. Elsa had a choice, and she went for something that she had hoped would change Anna by itself. So she had an affair. But in the end, Anna only blamed herself for what happened.

There were times too, that Anna would come home late, tired. No strength to say hi to their son. No strength to pour what was left of their love to Elsa.

Intimacy, these days, was lacking - almost close to none. A peck on Elsa's cheeks sometimes, holding hands whenever it permitted. It just wasn't enough though.

Two years. Two years without making love - and whenever Elsa wanted it, it was always one-sided and short. Almost like there was no effort put into it. Marriage was supposed to be like this, she supposed. But it wasn't anything she wanted.

Expectations too high, her own grown body and mind growing older… no, those weren't excuses. Marriage was marriage - exactly how it was. But it almost seemed like she was living in a dream.

The first few years were her best, but these last two… Elsa had lost all expectations. Yes, she wanted Anna to change… but change for someone else.

People could say she was a bad mother. A bad wife. But was it wrong to be selfish? Was it wrong to say that it wasn't her that needed to change, but Anna? For her to seek the pleasure she wanted, the pleasure and realness she rarely would receive? What about Olaf? Well… Anna put all her love to him.

Jealous of her son, no. Definitely not. She'd do the same too. She was happy Anna would take great care of Olaf.

Maybe some people wanted someone like this - a person who would do anything and everything to cling to that love, but Elsa didn't ever want this. She wanted someone who loved her for who she is, not because of fear.

She wanted someone who was true to herself - someone who would criticize her when it was needed, someone who would love her, touch her. Someone who made her feel like a person. A real person.

So she turned to Hans. And even when Hans came along… even when those teal eyes witnessed the sight of them holding hands, kissing, hugging… she just stood there like a statue.

No anger. No jealousy. Just eyes full of regret and sorrow. So she blamed herself once again. But perhaps… that was for the best. Ending this marriage… was for the best for Elsa's heart and Anna's mind. They'd never learn.

* * *

"Mama… Mama…"

"Mm…" Anna shifted in bed. It was silent again for a brief moment before small hands continued to nudge her arm. God, stop bothering me - Ah, she remembered. Olaf was staying here. Olaf was in the guest room. Immediately, her eyes fell open.

The nightly sky shined beautifully with the moon illuminating the street. The quietness was almost soothing where the only sound was her blanket shuffling in bed. She was hearing little mumbles and hums behind her that broke this peacefulness. She turned around to see Olaf pouting at her with Marshmallow, his white teddy bear, grasped in his arms. "Mama, wake up…"

"What's up, honey…?" she asked, groggily, a hand running through Olaf's messy hair.

The boy shook his head. "I can't sleep…"

She frowned, and slowly sat up. "Why? What's bothering you?"

He tucked his chin behind his bear's head. "I… I'm scared of the nightmares…"

"What? Nightmares?" Oh dear. Sighing, Anna leaned in and kissed his head. "I'm here, honey, there's nothing to be scared of."

"B-But Mama… what if it comes back…?"

"You think it will?"

"I don't know…"

 _What am I to do…_? Anna scratched her scalp. "Look, I hear at night…" she whispered in his ear. "Now, this is a secret okay? The bears that children hold when sleeping turn into big, strong warriors of the night to protect you from those dreams and the monsters that hide under your bed."

Olaf gasped in surprise, a hesitant smile slowly forming. He looked at his teddy bear. "Really…? Marshmallow turns into -"

Anna placed a finger on his mouth. "Shh! Marshmallow doesn't know that you and I know. I think he'd rather keep it a secret so kids don't get scared."

"Ooh… okay!" He placed a hand over his mouth to indicate he'd keep it to himself. "Does he have superpowers…?" he whispered.

"His superpower is to bring you good dreams, but it turns out he's just lazy right now."

"Ah!" A frown emerged. "How do you know all this?"

The girl huffed. "You know, Mama was once a kid like you too."

"I see…" He took Marshmallow against his chest. "Marshy, Marshy, what am I going to do with you?"

All that talking and making up a story about Marshmallow had woken her up completely. She looked at the time placed on her counter. It was only midnight too. Well… _I guess we can do something about this…_

She smiled as she observed the little guy playing with his bear, and talking to it like it was real. But after a while, it still didn't stop that cute little pout he had - his blonde hair covering his eyes as he dropped his head down.

Anna's heart nearly crumbled into pieces. For a moment, she realized… while she loved her son so dearly that she'd sacrifice anything for him, she still wasn't sure how to care for him properly. Perhaps, it was the many months she was away from him or the fact that Elsa was always in her mind… No, those weren't excuses. And maybe… just having Anna in his arms reach wasn't enough, as well. She ran her fingers through his hair. "Now, what else is wrong?" She breathed.

Olaf picked his head up, dropping his arms. "Mama… you… you won't come home anymore, right?"

Anna's eyes widened. The boy slowly got up to her lap and sat there, his big, bright eyes staring right into hers. Never had she seen such seriousness in his expression. "Honey -"

"M-Mom always tells me that you'll come home soon… but when is soon, soon?"

Anna reached for his cheeks to caress. "Baby, are you angry at me?" _He deserves to be angry._

Olaf shook his head. "I-I don't know… I don't like being alone, Mama…"

"You have friends."

"That's different! I don't like it at all…"

 _I get it. Neither do I._ But Anna couldn't say anything else. Elsa wouldn't let her… but even without Elsa saying anything, Anna knew it was for the best in order to not hurt her son's feelings. He knew what was going on, yet… a part of Anna wanted him to still be a child.

With a slow intake of breath, she wrapped her arms around the boy and cradled him left to right gently. "Mama doesn't like it either," she replied, though, her soft voice wasn't going to make Olaf feel any better. "But see? Even when I'm not here," she placed Olaf's hand to his chest, "I'll still be in there right?"

He grumbled. "Y-Yeah…"

"Now don't pout like that. It's very cute, but I don't like it."

The little boy giggled, pressing his face against his teddy bear's head. "It's dark! You don't know how I look!"

"Oh yeah?" She raised an eyebrow. "Who says I don't have superpowers too? I can just see through you."

"You do?" There was no avoiding those brightly colored eyes and that widening smile of his. So full of hope and innocence. Dear god, what had they done to their son? At least while being with Anna, Olaf was able to… well, be open more. She doubted Olaf was entirely open to Elsa - and even if he was, neither was Elsa open, as well. Of course, it wasn't always like this, Anna knew. She just wished things were normal and… Olaf wouldn't have to be so secretive sometimes.

It hurt to see that Olaf could only say these things and make him feel happy at the same time.

"Yeah, and it's called... Trickster Ticklier! I'm gonna tickle you!" She gently pushed the boy to his back in bed, fingers scurrying all over his little tummy and legs.

She hadn't heard such loud waves of laughter for a long time, never seen his body squirming so actively too. Ah, this almost felt like a dream to her!

"Ahahaha! M-Ma… Mama! S-Stop!"

"Here comes the tickle master!"

'Bahahaha!"

For once, Anna felt at peace. There were no intruding, unnecessary thoughts of wanting Elsa back… no hatred for Hans. She was surprised. All she could think about was having to see Olaf smile like that. Oh, she wished the boy would continue to be this happy - in five years, ten years… twenty. It didn't matter. Anna was going to raise him well - all alone if she had to - to teach him to respect others, to always treat others like his equal.

No doubt there would be… hardships and changes in his life in the future, but Anna would always be there. Anna would always help.

And for a while, they continued to play like this until they ran out of breath. The boy was still giggling, both of them laid completely on their back.

She sighed, turning his head to see Olaf wiping excess tears off his face. "Say… Olaf, you never tried any sweet drinks recently, have you?"

He shrugged. "Mom gives me juice all the time."

She turned to her side, propping her head against her arm. "Now that's not right. Mom is always keeping all the good stuff away from you."

"Good stuff?"

"Luckily, Mom isn't here." They both slowly sat up with Anna's cheeky grin on full view for Olaf. This was just one thing that was great about having no Elsa here. Well… one of the many things, actually. Not that she didn't like having Elsa here but, Olaf did deserve a little more freedom and fun.

Olaf tilted his head when his Mama dragged him out of bed. "What are we doing, Mama?"

"We're gonna get hot chocolate."

"Hot… chocolate?"

"With lots of…" Her eyes fell on his teddy bear. "Lots of _marshmallows_."

His face immediately fell in horror, turning pale, and he immediately hugged Marshmallow tightly to his chest. "M-Marshmallow… Mama, no!" He grabbed her leg so she wouldn't go.

The woman burst into a hearty laughter. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" She ruffled his hair. "Not your teddy. Come on, let's make you something nice."

The past few minutes, while making two warm mugs of hot chocolate - like Anna said, with lots of marshmallows -, the two continued to have fun. There was nobody stopping them - just the thought of Olaf needing to go to school in seven hours.

They sat on the kitchen floor, face to face against the counter and table. Marshmallow sat beside his little master too.

With every other light turned off, the kitchen light was the only thing that let them see each other.

For Anna, this was a special moment. Very special. Olaf never had hot chocolate before - it was something that Elsa would never let him have until he was 'older'. Anna always agreed but… now she didn't have to. And never had she also seen such fascinating and curious expression when she was making the drinks.

He was a curious little guy, of course. But that was what Elsa and Anna loved about him. They were even bold to say that they were lucky to have a little boy with such positive personality.

"Take the first sip. Careful, it's a little hot." She handed him a paper napkin.

The boy quietly studied the hot drink with melting white marshmallows floating on top. Anna made sure he got a lot more than she was used to. "Mama, this looks like poo…"

The woman almost choked when she took a sip of hers. _That's a first._ "W-Whoa, okay, buddy. Don't let the appearance fool you - imagine like it's melted chocolate, alright? Also don't let your mother hear you say that kind of things, you little rebel." _Kids grow up so fast…_

Olaf giggled softly and with two hands, he picked up his mug. Anna's eyes almost bulged out as she watched the boy take his first sip. Smacking his lips. And finally, his eyes lit up like fireworks. "Whoa…"

Anna was completely relieved to see him take another sip before she did. "You like it?"

"Mhm." Olaf took another, even bigger sip. He smiled so widely, Anna almost died from all the sweetness.

"Silly, you got foam all over. Here…" She swiped her thumb over the top of his lips and licked it off her finger. "Alright, after this, you'll go to bed, okay?"

Olaf nodded quietly, continuing to repeatedly blow out the steam of the drink and drinking. Every time, he had to hum with delight. Ah, Anna didn't even need to have her share of hot chocolate - just seeing him like this was enough.

The woman relaxed her body, eyeing the boy in silence.

"Marshy… would you like some? Here you go…" He grabbed his teddy bear, pushing his half-full mug to the stuffed animal.

Anna didn't say anything as she watched him pretend to feed his bear. He was a child, after all. He should be able to imagine things and expand that imagination. She was the mother that would let him explore things. And yes, sometimes… not everything would work out, but he was only a kid. Something as little as thinking his little teddy bear was a warrior of the night was important - especially when it came to his happiness.

Olaf burst into laughter suddenly. "Mama, you got - bahahaha!"

Anna frowned. "What? I got what?"

"A mustache!" He pointed to her lips.

"Oh, you…" Anna grabbed a napkin and wiped it off.

"Wait, wait, me too!" He immediately took a sip, making sure the foam reached to his top lip. "See! We match!"

Dork. "You wear that mustache better than me, buddy. Alright, finish up with Marshmallow and then we gotta head to bed. There's school in a few hours."

Completely ignoring her, Olaf crawled a bit forward to Anna and grabbed her left hand. "What's this ring? You always wear it."

Anna stretched her fingers straight and let her little boy take a good look at it, even touching it. "Mom gave it to me, did you know that?"

He hummed. "It's pretty… Is it a present?"

She laughed at his cute little words. "You can say that. But it's something much more special than just a present." When Olaf settled himself into Anna's lap, they both gazed at the diamond in wonder. Anna had to ask though - what was special about it anymore? It was just another plain old memory of the good days.

"How special?" Olaf asked, yawning.

"Like… well, it's a promise to take care of Mom forever and always. When you love someone so much, you give them this. There's a lot of them around the world, you know?" She breathed quietly, cradling him slowly.

Olaf turned around and looked into her eyes. "Does that mean I can get one because I love you and Mom so much?"

Anna shook her head. "No. Once you've met a special someone - only when you're older, much older - they will get it for you. Or you will."

"A special someone…"

She lightly pinched his cheek. "Come on, let's get you back to bed, you've had enough."

"But Mamaaaa~" He yawned once more.

Comeeee on, buddy." With a soft 'oof' she picked the sleepy boy up in her arms and brought them into her bedroom. And for a short while, with Olaf in bed next to her, his head against her chest, and Anna's soft fingers running through his hair… they stayed wide away. Well, at least, Anna was. Olaf, on the other hand, was struggling to.

She'd never thought Olaf would ask about the ring - now, she wasn't even sure what else he was going to ask anymore. He had been quite bold recently. Of course, Anna was fine with it but Elsa… that was a different story.

Softly, she hummed a tune to her baby, eyes gazing at her ring with the same hand patting his back softly.

Anna must have lied to Olaf. There wasn't anything special. It was just a rock, encased on top of a metal circle. But perhaps… it was just the thought that counted. It was the love that Elsa poured into her, poured into that ring as well. She smiled fondly at those thoughts. While it did leave her bitter… some moments were her sweetest.

"Mama…?"

Anna blinked at the small voice next to her. "Hm?"

"The nightmares won't come 'cause you're here right?" The boy could barely keep his eyes open.

"Of course, baby. Marshmallow is here too."

Anna could just feel the smile on his face as he closed his eyes. "That's… good…" And finally, silence fell between them. She was grateful for a moment where Anna didn't have to answer more of those questions to Olaf. Of course, she was more than happy to answer them… it was just hard. Olaf knew a lot of things, but there were just some things that he could never understand. And not even Anna understood Elsa completely too. She thought she did… but that divorce proved otherwise.

But at least, all she had left now was this lingering desire for love and her child. That was fine for her. Completely.

"Good night, Olaf. Love you."

* * *

Hey, sorry I'm late, traffic was insane." Elsa softly dropped her bag down on her chair in a cafe.

Tiana smiled. "No, no, I thought so, too. By the way, I got you some of those cookies you were craving for. My personal recipe, my treat." She pushed a glass container filled with chocolate chip cookies across the table to Elsa.

It was the afternoon when Elsa wanted to have a little brunch with her new friend Tiana. She could stay at home and work in her little office, but every day of being in the same environment was exhausting sometimes. Plus, having to have someone else to talk to was a blessing, of course.

Elsa didn't want to deal with any other serious things right now - there were just too much in her hand. Yes, while Olaf was gone to her mother for a few other more days, Hans… well, talking to him was a bit more troublesome than usual. He was angry, frustrated, but Elsa couldn't blame him for being like that.

"So I ordered us sandwiches." Coffee was set right after on the table. Elsa gratefully took a sip. "Didn't think you'd arrive early so I did my part."

The blonde shook her head. "You're too kind. I didn't get you anything."

Tiana raised an eyebrow in curiosity and amusement. "I know, but you _can_ tell me what you're thinking."

What? Elsa paused for a bit, eyeing the girl. She licked her lips, still tasting the bittersweetness of the coffee. "What are you talking about?"

She threw her hands up. "Oh come on, girl, don't you tell me you have no idea what I'm talking about. You and Anna? The way I see it -"

"Anna and I aren't together, I promise you."

"Nuh-uh, that's not an answer. I saw the way you look at her! Your eyes -"

Elsa scoffed. "Come now, I look at her no other way."

" - _Your eyes_ just glowed! Alright, let's get serious. I know it's not my personal business… But I care, okay?" She held onto Elsa's hand and squeezed it. "Now I know you seem to be going through tough times, and if you want, I can go -"

"No, I -" Elsa sighed. She didn't know how to say this. She knew Tiana cared, seeing those sincere eyes. Out of everyone, Tiana seemed to actually know how she felt. Gazing down at their held hands, all Elsa could remember were the ones that held hers before Tiana. "Don't go."

She raised her eyebrows in amusement. "Then I won't. And you'll tell me?"

Oh, what else could Elsa do? She sat back, contemplating what to say. "Anna and I… God, I always wanted this to be kept a secret, you know? We're… we're divorced."

"Oh." The brown-eyed girl nodded, letting go of her hold. "I figured. May I ask why?"

Elsa crossed her arms, looking out to the streets. A part of her was heartbroken - to even say these words aloud, but… in the end, the divorce was agreed upon between them. There was just not much else to say. "You're married too, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

"Happy?"

"As happy as I'll ever be." Tiana smiled. Elsa shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "You weren't?"

The blonde immediately, leisurely shook her head. "No… yes. How do I say it? There were times where… Anna would give me so much. She would do anything, and now… you can tell that is a dream to live for. For anyone. You can tell that she was a good wife. _She is._ But sometimes, it just doesn't make me feel like a human being. Do you understand?"

Tiana silently nodded. Elsa didn't believe she understood.

Elsa continued on, "Every evening… she came home from work, and it felt _wrong_ for me to think that she should just never come home. I just wanted to feel like I exist. I wanted her to treat me as me. As Elsa - this… imperfect girl, that she thought was absolutely perfect. I wanted her to stop treating me like a queen in this perfect gown but I know I couldn't allow her to change because somewhere - _somewhere_ , someone else would love to have someone like that. I couldn't stand feeling like a doll, Tiana, because I'm not."

The only response Elsa got was silence and more silence. Enough that Elsa could even hear the flies zooming about. Tiana only shook her head.

"You're saying you don't deserve her -"

"I truly don't. I hated…" Elsa bit her lip. It was always hard for her to say this. "I _hated_ everything about her for the last couple of years. I did so many wrong things in spite of her… and all I would ever get was forgiveness. She never criticized me, even when I did myself. Even when she and I knew that I deserved it. She never argued with me. She never even tried to provoke me - God, Tiana… you don't understand how one-sided it was."

"Oh, I understand. I understand completely. Maybe you're right, relationships like this… don't usually work out. But Elsa, darling, you need to stop lying to yourself."

Elsa arched an eyebrow at her. Lying… Elsa had never lied to herself, ever. This? No, she was only trying to protect herself and Anna. Olaf didn't need this kind of toxicity in his life. "I don't understand."

"Honey, look at me. I'm not saying that you should give her another chance but… you know, you'll be fine. You really need to think about whether being with… Hans, was it? You need to think about if this is what you really want. Hearing you talk about Anna this much just shows me how much you still care about her."

Tiana was wrong. She had to be. But she was right about one thing - she did talk about Anna a lot. Even if it wasn't about love. It wasn't something Elsa had to make a decision on for the next minute, but it really was something to think upon.

Elsa took in a deep slow breath. _"I loved her, Tiana."_

"I know. So did she. _Does_. Now you go home tonight, eat those darn cookies, and think about whether you should cut her out of your life completely. You think on that. Right now, we'll talk about life and enjoy this beautiful weather, okay?"

* * *

A/n: Olaf is so cute ;-;


	12. Chapter 12: Two Red Pills

a/n: im just dishing out these updates fast, arent i? im just bored thats all ;-;

heres some context for this fic: Elsa is 29 years old, and Anna is 27. das it.

if anyone got questions, comments, wanna yell at me, anything, feel free to PM me or go to my tumblr 'not-rotting' cuz im just bored like that

* * *

A work day, and having a full evening and night of being with Olaf was a blessing for Anna. Maybe some people would find it weird and think the opposite was something to be worshiped for, but those two things were the only things that kept her from thinking too much.

Right now, her concentration was on picking up Olaf from school and then try to think about what to make for dinner. Well, attempt to. Perhaps, spaghetti, but even if she was the best chef, she wouldn't make it that good. Elsa, on the other hand, God, her food was to die for.

The sky was already getting a bit dark while she drove through the block where his school was located. The stars were coming together in the sky, and Anna just wanted this moment to see everything form. But no, it was almost six, and the kids were already being picked up from their after-school programs.

Parking just outside of the school, she took her time getting up to the second floor where all first graders were located. It was normal that the hallway was almost completely dark and the only classroom that had lights on was the one all the way down the hall. The walls were covered with artwork and creative writing from students. Ah, sometimes, Anna just wished she could go back in time to become a kid once again. Life was so much easier back then.

She could even hear all the rowdiness in the staircase. Anna completely expected it all. _Kids and their playtime._

Once she got to the classroom, surprisingly, there were fewer kids in there than she'd expected despite the noises. She scanned the room to see Meg on her laptop, a high school student intern telling the kids to quiet down, and… there was Olaf sitting silently in the back with his toys… alone.

Anna frowned. _Where are his friends?_

"Oh, hey, you're here!" Meg quickly got up from her desk and grabbed the usual sign-in clipboard.

Anna didn't take an eye off the boy as she signed herself in. "Uh… yeah, hold on. Olaf, time to go home."

The boy picked his head up, but instead of the usual 'warm hugs' greeting… there was no large smile on his face. He was slow when picking up his backpack… and completely ignored his mother, walking past her. Not even walking - he was dragging himself.

 _What the hell?_ Anna quickly grabbed his arm and turned him around. She gazed at him worriedly, before getting down to her knees to meet his eyes. God, was he crying? His eyes were red. The redhead put her hand on his tummy. "Hey, buddy, are you not going to hug Mama? What's going on?"

He didn't say anything and deepened his frown, crossing his arms.

"I… that's what I wanted to talk to you about, Anna. Alone," Meg said, a hand placed on her shoulder.

Anna looked up to see such dark expression on her face. This didn't sound good at all. "Um… okay, Olaf, why don't you go down to the lunchroom. I'll meet you there alright?"

Without a word, Olaf snatched his arms away from his mother and stomped off from their view. Anna paid no mind. It was just a little tantrum - all kids had that… it was just odd, seeing it come from Olaf.

"Alright," she turned to Meg, "what's going on?"

"Hey, kids, quiet down, or I'm stopping playtime! Christina, would you mind looking after them for five minutes? I'll be back," she exclaimed to the intern. "Okay, come with me."

In silence, the two walked down the hallway. Meg finally settled them in an office, where she turned on the lights.

Anna just silently - her nervousness was slowly showing - watched as Meg sigh. Pacing. The redhead never liked having people pace in front of her. "Right, now, I really didn't want to have to talk to you about this - but since you're his parent, and I don't know how you're going to take this -"

The redhead rolled her eyes. Her heart was pounding. "Can you just spit it out already?"

"You're not going to like it."

"Well, when have I ever liked anything?"

"That's not true at all, and you know it." Meg took another deep breath. "Serious now. So today… Olaf and a bunch of his classmates were having a conversation about what they do at home, families, stuff like that. Totally normal stuff. And I've been watching them too. Then it was his turn to talk. Olaf got so excited and proud when he told them he has two moms -"

Anna groaned, running her fingers through her hair. "Oh God, I know where this is going."

"See, I knew you were going to react like this!"

She waved her off, eyes on the ground. "Just keep talking."

Meg was hesitant for a moment. "A few of his classmates acted in disgust and told him people aren't supposed to have two moms - that he'll turn into a girl when he grows older. I didn't… I didn't listen too closely, but by the end of it, Olaf ended up pushing one of them and yelled. A boy ended up pulling his hair and kicking him in the stomach."

Anna covered her mouth, her expression stoic as it could ever be, her eyebrows furrowed. She couldn't bear to look at Meg right now.

" _Laughing_."

She shut her eyes. Anna didn't want to picture it. "What did you do?" she whispered in disappointing.

Meg crossed her arms and looked away. "I took those boys to a different classroom for the day… and I had to make Olaf do silent reading for the rest of it - Anna, I don't know what to say. God, I wish I paid more attention so this wouldn't happen. I even talked to him, and - he's angry, Anna. At you."

Anna finally looked up, her eyes… that used to glow when seeing her kid, was blank as a paper. "Thank you for telling me. And being honest."

Meg huffed in shame. "I know you're disappointed. Olaf's not hurt… but I just… this is the first time in my five years of being here, that I witnessed something like this. I'm sorry I couldn't react sooner -"

"Save it. It's not your fault."

"I'm his teacher, I should've been watching more closely. Hey..." Meg reached for her arm, fingers squeezing gently at her. With a raised eyebrow Anna's eyes met where her hand tightened on hers finally. "I know it's hard but try to explain it to him. I think after those boys said these things… he probably thinks you and Elsa aren't normal."

Anna didn't pull away. For a moment, she needed that comfort. No matter how little it was. "Yeah, I know. He's been curious for this past week, I don't doubt he has more questions."

Meg nodded. "Then that's good. Try not to be hard on him. Or yourself, okay? I'm here for you."

Anna didn't hide the little smile she had. "I know. I'll try to talk to him."

"Are you going to tell Elsa?"

The girl immediately shook her head. "I don't want her to worry. Plus, it's my week with Olaf so…"

Meg's body relaxed from all the tension and nervousness from talking. "Alright. And I'll try to talk to their parents about their behavior. Hey, by the way, we should go for a drink sometimes."

Anna couldn't deny after what happened, she'd rather drink until she forgets. "Yeah, we should, when Olaf goes back home."

She patted her arm. "You deserve it. Now go take care of your boy, and I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

Left alone in the office had Anna contemplating on what to say to Olaf. With Meg gone, she didn't know how to deal with Olaf's temper. No, it wasn't that she didn't know how to… but it was the fact that Olaf never acted like this before. Huffing a breath, she looked up at the ceiling. Just hearing those words that Meg had said was absolutely exhausting as well.

As she slowly descended down to the first-floor cafeteria, she noticed Olaf sitting by the first table that was nearest to the door. He was still grumpy, lips pouting, arms crossed, and his feet kicking the floor.

Anna didn't let her worrisome heart bother her. "Olaf, come on, let's go home," she exclaimed calmly from the entrance.

The boy didn't even take a look at her mother - didn't even bother to hold her hand when it was offered - when he walked towards her. His eyes were down to the ground with the same puffy expression.

Oh well, what could she do? He was going to grow tired of being pouty anyway. Of course, later on, Anna was definitely going to give him a nice meal and dessert to make him happy again. That was the least she could do.

Huffing out frustratingly, she let Olaf lead them out of school and into the car.

Anna had been driving down the streets with Olaf sitting in the passenger seat for a little while now. Usually, she wouldn't allow Olaf to sit there but today was an exception. Even then, Anna couldn't bear the fact that she had to tell him things that even she found hard to listen to. Even putting on his favorite radio station wasn't helping.

She took a glimpse of the little guy who had his eyes gazing down. Usually… he'd be in awe, looking out the window. Anna didn't like this one bit.

"Mama…?" Olaf finally opened his mouth. Just one word - _one_ word, so soft and tender… and incredibly disappointed, shattered Anna's heart. "Yeah, buddy?" She reached over to brush his hair.

"What did you and Ms. Johnson talk about?" He looked at her.

"Nothing important. Just…" She sighed. "Just about how you behaved today."

Olaf slouched his shoulders before peeling his eyes away. "Am I in trouble?"

"No, buddy, you're not in trouble." She paused, letting her hand fall to his tummy, and began rubbing it softly. "I heard what happened. Does it still hurt?"

Olaf shook his head. "No… it wasn't too bad."

She glared with worry. "Still doesn't excuse how they beat you like that." She felt a tiny hand on hers.

"Mama… how come they reacted like that?" He picked his head up. "They told me it was disgusting… but I love Mama and Mom, how could it be disgusting?"

Anna didn't know how to answer. She'd never learned to answer something like this because her family and Elsa's had always been accepting of who they were. They were treated as normal people - like anybody else… but how _dare_ Olaf had to experience the very end of it? How dare those kids treated her son like that because of his mothers?

She smiled bitterly. "Olaf, this world… is very cruel. Some people can accept you for you are. For who you love. Some people _can't_ because they were raised that way, and they could never get out of their little box to peace. Unfortunately, you met people who can't accept others, and I'm sorry, baby."

"But… I don't understand. A-Are we different? Mama, am I weird?"

She wasn't going to allow those kids bring his self-esteem down. He was a sensitive enough kid already - smart, and sensitive - there was no need for additional anxiety at such young age. Not ever.

"We're not different. People just…" Anna swallowed hard. No other words were this difficult to come out. Especially when her son was having a hard time understanding her mother. "People have different views - and when they are taught to believe one thing from others, they stick with it. Olaf, baby, you don't hate Mama, do you?"

Olaf shook his head, his lower lip sticking out to a pout. "No…" _That's a relief._ "They said I was stupid… and that I would be a girl when I grow up. Is that true?"

"No, Olaf, of course not." She ruffled his hair. "In fact, I think you're very brave and smart to stand up to those kids to protect Mama. Thank you."

His slight smile lifted a few of the heartache at least. "Then, I'm not weird for having no daddy right?"

Her lips curled into a heartbreaking grin. _Did he want… a daddy?_ She shook her head. "No. Not weird at all. Don't worry about those kids, okay?"

He timidly nodded. "Okay…"

 _I should at least cheer him up._ "Hey, how about this. We can go grab pizza today, and whatever you want to eat."

His face lit up a little. "Really?"

"Mhm. And then when we get home, we can play video games until you get tired. Sounds good?"

"Okay!" Ah, that definitely put him in a good mood. But if video games, junk food, and staying up all night was what it took to put Olaf's mind at peace, she was fine with that. Of course, with Elsa, things would definitely be different. Oh, maybe Anna was the bad influence here.

Satisfied, Anna ran her fingers through his hair. The boy was already humming a tune, happily. "Alright, I bet you're hungry now. Let's get some dinner."

* * *

A week had passed by as fast as a blink of an eye. And though, Anna was left heavy hearted for having to drive Olaf back to that house on Saturday evening, it was what she had to do.

Elsa was, perhaps, even waiting outside like always.

Not that she didn't like it - Anna just wished she could spend more time with the boy. She knew she could come home whenever she could, but in her heart, she never really had the guts to confront everything in one house, at one time.

But coming up to the place, Elsa was actually not standing outside. So much for that thought. Sighing, she turned around to the backseat where Olaf was fast asleep.

She brushed his hair. "Olaf, baby, wake up. We're home."

"Mm…" He slowly rubbed his eyes open, another pushing his hair away. "Mama…?"

She smiled and opened the door for him. "Time to get up, sleepy head. I need to grab your stuff."

He looked around in silence and confusion before realizing where he was. "Oh!" And quickly, pushing the door open and running up to the house.

Anna could only let out a small laugh. Was he this excited to be home? Well, it was true that he hadn't seen his mother for a week now.

When she got out to grab his duffle bag - with newly bought clothes and all from all the shopping they had done yesterday - Olaf was already ringing the doorbell.

"Olaf, that's enough."

He pouted with his mother by his side. "She's not coming out."

Just as he said that the door opened. Anna hadn't seen the woman for a week, but she seemed… well, a little different. _She looks happy._ The way her pale cheeks glowed, how her eyes glistened in a shade of blue… she hadn't seen that for a while now.

"Oh my god, baby," she immediately got down on her knees to hug the boy tightly, "did you miss me?"

He giggled. "Yeah." The way Olaf touched his mother had Anna's heart soaring to the sky. Anna was almost afraid the blonde would squeeze the boy too tightly, but they pulled away just as that thought came to mind.

Their eyes met, and a silent 'hi' was seen in Elsa's eyes. Anna only waved.

"Did you have fun with Mama?"

"Uh huh! It was awesome!" He raised both hands up. "Mama got me a lot of clothes."

She raised an eyebrow. Uh oh. "Did she now? You'll wear them right?"

"Yeah!"

"Alright, that's my boy. I'm sorry I couldn't call often, baby."

"It's okay, I have Mama here, heh…"

Elsa's smile was so soft. So tender. Anna never wanted to break that. "Good. Well, dinner is ready so why don't you go inside, you can tell me all about your time in a second."

Olaf immediately turned to give his Mama a big hug. "Bye Mama." _Jeez._ Anna didn't ever want to let the boy go. She hugged him back, laying a big loving kiss on his forehead.

"Bye, sweetie. I'll pick you up from school on Monday okay?"

"Okay!"

Elsa finally got up, and the two… well, as always, they didn't know what to say. A lot had happened during Anna's time with Olaf. A lot that would worry Elsa - and Anna always had to worry about Olaf's mouth outing things that he promised not to say to Elsa. But they were a family, of course, so it was never Olaf's fault.

"So, how was today?" Elsa reached for the duffle bag.

Anna handed it to her. "Pretty good. Took him to the zoo this afternoon, actually."

"Well, isn't that nice. You got pictures?"

"Yeah, I'll send them to you when I get home. Oh, actually…" She pulled the zipper down from the bag and shuffled through the stuff for a bottle of wine. "Sorry for not telling you earlier. Got this from winning a little lottery during work the other day, and since I don't really drink fancy stuff, I thought you should have it."

The blonde examined the bottle. "Oh, that does look good. I'll be happy to open it for dinner later. Thank you."

She pursed her lips and placed her hands in her pocket. "Yep, enjoy it."

"So what about Olaf?"

Anna quirked an eyebrow up in curiosity before finally getting it. "Ah, he's fine actually. He hasn't gotten any dreams this week since he's been sleeping with me most of the time. Easily slept through eight hours." Though with Elsa's worried expression still being noticeable - subtle - Anna knew just saying that wasn't going to clear out anything. Elsa had always been the more careful parent, after all. "Hey, look, believe me, I was worried too. But you gotta trust me on this. More than anything."

She wasn't sure if Elsa did, but she had to settle with her little nod.

"I know. I do." Even four little words, softly spoken, was filled with uncertainty. "You don't have anything to do right now, do you? Come inside, have dinner with us."

 _Shit._ The redhead scratched her head, apologetically. There was a slight blush of embarrassment on her cheeks. "Actually… I would, but I can't. I'm going to have a drink with Meg in about an hour so I gotta go in a sec."

For a moment, Elsa didn't speak. The loving smile she had on her face slowly faded… and the fingers on the bag tightened. But even, Anna didn't notice. Of course… Elsa always had that expression. Always.

"Oh? With Meg, huh…"

Anna sighed. "Yeah, actually. Just the two of us."

"So sudden?"

"Well, she offered back when -" Anna paused. The blonde didn't need to know her son was getting bullied that day. "She offered just a few days ago. I had some free time, so I couldn't refuse."

Elsa nodded, though, it was a little stiff. "I see." Somehow, it was a little discomforting to see her gaze at Anna so intently. Though, it wasn't as if Anna hadn't faced this before. "Anyway, I hope you had a lot of fun with Olaf. I'm sorry we couldn't talk much."

Anna shook her head. "No, it's - it's fine. Is… Hans coming?"

The tension in the air grew even thicker. And for some reason, Anna realized the woman didn't want to answer that question. Her eyes strayed away from Anna's. "He'll be here later. I shouldn't keep you, you should go."

"Oh, right. You're eating dinner too." A pause. And before Anna could even say anything more - to even say goodbye, she felt Elsa's arms around her. Squeezing her tightly. Ah, her scent… the way her body laid against hers. Anna, though confused for a moment, couldn't deny her hug. Couldn't ever deny having to feel her touch when permitted.

She shut her eyes, indulging her nose to her scent, her fingers to her skin… it was everything.

When Elsa pulled away, she couldn't believe how soft… how _longing_ her ocean blue eyes looked. "Enjoy yourself, Anna. And… thank you for taking care of him."

Anna tried her very best to hide her grateful smile, but she couldn't. "Yeah, tell him good night, alright?"

"I will. Hey -" Elsa grabbed the woman's arm when she was about to walk back to the car. "Just…"

"Yeah?" Anna raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing. Don't… drink too much okay? I know how you get when you do."

 _Ah, so she does care._ Without a thought, she squeezed Elsa's hand, warmth contrasting to her coldness, but it was exactly what they needed right now. And for that moment, Anna didn't ever think of the fact of losing Elsa. She was there… though, afar, still watching. Still providing love in another way.

Perhaps… still, Anna wanted more than that. Perhaps, she still hated herself for yearning the woman to come back. Still needing comfort. For someone to fill that hole that Elsa had left in her heart. But it was okay - Anna could live with that.

"I won't, I promise."


	13. Chapter 13: she doesnt have what i have

The amount of drink she was having wasn't as much as she'd expected. She really did want to just douse herself with alcohol until it became her own blood. Anna was having fun, talking to Meg. Well, it really was the first time that they'd hung out together from the time Olaf was assigned to her classroom. Honestly, Anna didn't mind that she was getting close to Meg. In fact, she encouraged it, herself. Even Elsa had gotten quite close. She'd know Elsa wouldn't mind her hanging out with some friends.

Having a drink together was only natural. They sat in a small local bar, one where it was fairly noisy, but not too loud that they couldn't hear each other talk. The liveliness was what Anna lived for.

The bartender was serving other guests' drinks behind the counter, scarlet colored lights lowly enveloping the dozens of bottles of alcohol on the shelves from behind. The bar counter was quite full too. Every five minutes someone would come up to order a drink, sit down, or walk away. The DJ serving the dance floor was blaring out some wack-o dubstep to urge the crowd to hype it up.

For Anna, she wasn't quite that much for dancing. She welcomed having to talk to Meg though, who was sitting next to her.

She was already four shots of tequila in, downing the last one. "Hey, can I get a whiskey, please?"

The bartender nodded. "Coming right up."

Anna hadn't noticed the amused pair of raised eyebrows on Meg. "Wow, you really can drink, huh?" She propped her head against the top of her palm, elbow laid on the table.

"Hm?" She blinked and turned to the woman. Seeing how Meg was dressed so… scantily made Anna feel a bit overdressed. She was still wearing her work clothes - white blouse and black suit pants, while Meg had her figure all shown by a tight black dress.

"Oh, heh…" The server slid the glass of whiskey to her. She gazed at the glass, circling a finger on top of the rim. "With no kid and ex-lover here, I can go all out."

Meg chuckled before taking a sip of her… er, water. She was only drinking water with a slice of lime for flavor. "Well, lucky you, I'm not drinking."

Anna felt her cheeks being quite flushed. She looked at brunette up and down. Meg's dress was really quite tight on her, her bare legs crossing together. "Look at you, who are you expecting, dressing up like that? A guy? I thought _we_ were having a drink. Together."

She nearly spat out her water, coughing. A glare was sent Anna's way. "W-What? Are you kidding, can't a teacher dress like this once in a while? I have my freedom too!"

 _Ah, so that's it._ Anna nodded, slowly sipping her drink too. "Okay, okay, I get it. I just never see you outside of school where you always -"

" - _always_ have a shirt, jeans, and an apron, yes. See, if you worked with kids, you'll understand how comfortable you need to be in that place." She stretched her limbs out. "So anyway, I'm not here to talk about me - I'm here because you seem like you really do need a drink."

"Huh." Anna gulped down the rest of the little whiskey in the glass. "Hey, handsome, can you grab my friend a shot?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Meg immediately grabbed the girl's arm, eyes widened. "Anna! I told you I'm not drinking, I'm driving us home -"

"We'll call a cab!" Anna exclaimed, loudly enough that even Meg winced. "Hey, come on, you brought us out here, let's enjoy it. Here, cheers to good health." She pushed the small glass to her.

The brunette paused for a second in annoyance before turning in submission. "Alright, cheers to good health. Just so you know, I'm paying." Their glass clinked, and both of them took one single swig. "Anyway, what's going on with you these days?"

 _How should I say it?_ So much had happened within these two weeks, Anna didn't know where to start. "You know…" Anna hissed at the taste, eyeing her empty glass. "I've always… taken good care of Olaf, don't I?" A change of mood had to be necessary. There was no use trying to pretend she was happy, herself. Even Meg knew that, with her expression being so stoic. Anna gazed up front to the shelves emptily. "It's not every day that I see her so happy when she comes out of the house. Like tonight. Maybe I'm already too used to seeing her be bitter. Honestly, happy for who? Me, or him?"

Meg pursed her lips. "You're not jealous of your son, are you?"

"Oh, of course not." She waved her off. "It's just… It's odd. Whenever I come home with him, I always see her with such a bitter look. I know she can be all bright eyes and smile, but even the most subtle thing she says - even in her eyes - I know exactly how she feels." She paused. "Do you think… she does that to him too?"

"Who?"

Anna groaned. "You know who. He's not exactly… the fittest person she's with, you know?"

"Honey, is there one person in this world who thinks someone else would be fitting for their significant other?" Meg had to laugh at that. It really was kind of ridiculous to ask that, if Anna had to be honest.

"Yeah, I guess, you're right." Both of them ordered another drink.

"But, hey," Meg placed her soft hand on Anna's leg. "You can't hate her right? I mean… yeah, Elsa can be a little…"

"Selfish?"

" _Harsh_. I was gonna say harsh. Ugh, but when has she never been? She's only trying to break this relationship because it just didn't work out."

"For her."

"Believe me, for _both_ of you."

Anna didn't believe. If Elsa did wanted what was best for them… that woman would have said something. But, perhaps, to her… protecting their young boy was more important than the bond in their marriage. Anna couldn't argue with that. Besides, close to Elsa, Meg was one of the smartest people she knew. She couldn't be wrong.

Anna placed a hand on top of hers, her eyes still on her little glass cup. "I don't hate her. I never did. I just can't seem to figure her out, that's all. I don't think Hans can either."

"Didn't we say we'd never talk about him?"

"I know, but God, I just can't stand it. I can't stand having to just watch both of them and not say a single fucking word because I know Elsa's happier this way." Anna dropped her head, her eyes having to be coated with stupid tears. It wasn't worth crying over, but thinking over and over again about how Hans slept on _their_ bed, ate with _their_ kid, and made himself comfortable in _their_ home was wrecking her. It shouldn't have wrecked her - Anna had no place there to feel destroyed over.

"Hey, hey, hey… Anna, maybe she's not the best for you right now, isn't she?"

"You think?"

Meg sighed. "You wouldn't be here, telling your sob story to me and acting like you can down a dozen tequila if she is."

Anna shook her head. She really didn't know. "I-I don't care. I don't want to know if she is best for me. My focus right now is my boy. But I can't -" Anna choked back tears. "I just _wish_ I did better for myself and for her. I should've loved her more, paid attention more… and then we would've still been together, Meg."

"Hey… God, Anna, look at me. No, don't turn the other way, I'm not there." She placed her other hand on Anna's cheek to switch her view. The tears coating Anna's eyes just couldn't fall. Anna wouldn't let it. But even for Meg… she gazed at her ever so caringly. Not a single time did Meg seem disgusted by her. Rejecting her. And Anna looked into those bright brown eyes, its color reflecting the dim light of the place. Anna almost felt content just having Meg's attention on her. "Anna, whether she's good for you or not… just let me tell you, you don't owe her anything, okay? Whether or not you want to move on, I can't decide for you. But you don't need to be so miserable anymore, Anna."

Anna stayed silent. There was no right or wrong answer to this… but even then, any kinds of answer would make her heart feel heavy. "Do I… Do I look miserable?"

Meg crossed her brows and pinched her cheek. "Considering how you sometimes text me to vent, yeah, I'd say you look pretty miserable."

"And?"

Meg bit her lip. "Well… a little lonely, I guess…"

Ah. So that was what she was feeling. This little emptiness in her… yearning for someone to fill that hole that Elsa left was loneliness. But how could she be? She had friends. She had Olaf… what were the chances that she could feel this bad about herself when she wasn't with them? But even Anna could not argue. She needed love - she needed comfort when nobody could comfort her. She needed someone to talk to when she didn't have the courage to talk to Elsa.

What could she do? Anna felt Meg's thumb brushing below her eye, fingers pushing her auburn hair behind her ear. Where there was a smile on Meg's expression, it slowly faded. Anna's quickened heart stilled with comfort… gentleness.

It'd gotten a little warm in here as well, but Anna didn't mind. The pink shade on her cheeks was welcoming… the slight buzzing in her head, on her skin, even felt comforting. And for a moment, Anna relished those eyes that looked into her.

"A little lonely, huh?" Anna squeezed the woman's hand, her own trembling at the thumb that caressed her skin.

There came a slight grin on Meg's face. "Honestly…" She came close to her, knees touching Anna's. "Maybe you should consider finding your own happiness, rather than looking for Elsa's...?"

It was very, _very_ tempting.

"I don't know, Meg…"

"Well, why don't you just leave that to me…?"

"How?" she breathed.

And at that moment, nothing came to mind. No worries, no doubts… No Elsa. Meg was leading her… and heaven was a place that awaited her. All she was thinking was the woman that was sat next to her - the comfort and love that she would give to fill this empty hole. The feeling of her hand touching her… caressing her. Pushing her to their wondrous world. She couldn't resist, and she really shouldn't. Anna felt her breath being taken away the closer they got together. Closer… and closer…

Anna closed her eyes, sighing at the tender lips that kissed her own. Shivering even more at the arms that were wrapped around her neck, and her own bravely holding onto Meg's waist. Oh, her slender waist, her toned legs… was more than Anna could ever ask for.

The taste of her lips was so sweet, and her scent was nothing more than the scent of cherry and a splash of alcohol. Ah, it was enough to even dizzy Anna's mind as if she hadn't grown crazy enough.

She hadn't even realized she'd been holding her breath, too hungry for more, lusting for more. Her body… yearned to have another body against her. Anna held the woman tightly, pulled her in, and small sigh - sensual groan - sounded pleasantly through the noisiness. It was all she could hear - all she needed to hear. Their lips were locked like they never wanted to let go.

And before they even realized what happened… Meg had pulled away first. Oh, those eyes. They were so dark… wanting. Longing for a reaction. For a small glow. This silence between them? Anna already knew what talking wasn't ever needed. She was completely drunken into her scent and taste.

Anna bit her lip, gazing on Meg's. She needed this. Badly. "Wow…"

Meg licked hers, definitely eyeing the girl with every intention to… well, Anna knew. There was that sly grin again. "I'll call the cab for us."

* * *

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick…

Anna hissed at the sharp pain drilled into her throbbing head. The sun was in her eyes, leaving her blinded, though, even she had a hard time keeping her eyes open. Birds were chirping excitedly, cars were zooming down the street through the morning air, and the clock… continued to tick annoyingly.

Turning to her side, Anna was hoping to continue to grab a quick doze again, but she was afraid -

One blink. Two blinks. Meg's sleeping face was inches away from hers. Her heart skipped a beat, her face completely blank from confusion. _Why is she here…? Where am I?_ She raised her eyebrows at the feeling of skin against… skin? Her eyes dropped even further down. She was naked. Under the sheet. Meg was naked. She felt their legs tangled together, an arm placed around Anna's waist.

And finally, she gasped in shock. " _Holy shit!"_ She sat up immediately, quickly looking around for her clothes, only to find them scattered all around the bedroom. Her fingers were buried in her hair. "Oh God… what did I do…?"

"Mm…" Anna turned back to the sleeping woman, to find her slowly opening her eyes. "Anna…? What's going on…?"

 _Yeah, what the fuck is going on?!_ Anna didn't say that aloud. But she let herself stare in horror as Meg sat up as well.

"Meg…?" She felt her throat tighten, tears embracing her pupils. The brunette looked between them, both of their mouths fell open like they hadn't realized what happened. Meg was the first to let out a sigh, fingers running through her hair.

"Shit…" She couldn't be serious, right?

Anna shook her head. "No, no, no, no fucking way. I-I gotta go."

"A-Anna, wait -" She grabbed the redhead's wrist. "Did you not remember?"

Anna took a few moments to think back. Her aching head was just not helping at all. They were drinking. Talking about Elsa. Talking about life, and then… oh no. The woman pressed a shaking finger against her lip. What was she doing? Why did she do it? She had plenty of opportunities to stop what she was doing - but she just couldn't help it. At all, right? Anna desperately needed someone beside her… someone to help her. Oh, how blinded she was to her own will. Her own fucking loneliness.

Anna felt like crying. Before she knew it, she was up and running with a thin piece of blanket around her body. She didn't care whose clothes were whose, but she just needed to fucking get the fuck out of there.

" _Shit, shit, shit, shit…"_

"A-Anna, slow down. Hey, calm down!" Meg yelled. She was still in bed, her own blanket held to her bare chest. Anna was almost done dressing up, immediately, searching for her phone. "Let us talk about it -"

She grabbed her phone on the counter. Anna blinked, her heart dropping. _Six missed calls from Elsa… what the fuck?_ No, there was no time to talk about… whatever the fuck they did last night. Anna took a deep breath, nearing the door. "Okay… I-I gotta go. Listen, I-I'm sorry… for whatever happened last night. I don't know what the fuck was going on with me, but I'm sorry. W-We'll talk about this later."

"Anna -"

 _Slam._

She ran as fast as her feet could take her even if she knew Meg wouldn't follow her. Her cheeks were so flushed with shame… perhaps, excitement, but she couldn't figure it out yet.

She hadn't noticed she'd gotten out of the building until she felt shoulders bumping into her, curses being thrown at her. "No way… no fucking way I-I -" Anna couldn't say it. Her memories were becoming clear as day, and the more she remembered… the more her heart tightened. She wondered how long it'd take to burst out of anger for herself.

She leaned against a building wall, fingers pulling her unkempt hair. _Take a deep breath…_ Anna had to return Elsa's calls first… whatever she did before could be dealt with later. Especially the next day when picking up Olaf.

"Come on… pick up…" she murmured to herself, her teeth clenched together.

" _Mama?"_

Anna frowned. Olaf never answered her phone before. "Olaf? What's going on? Where's Mom?"

For a second, she heard some shuffling and something slamming shut in the background. Anna suddenly felt her stomach drop.

" _Mama, can you come home?"_

"Why? Tell Mom to come to the phone."

" _Mom can't! She feels sick, Mama…"_

 _That's odd._ "All day?"

" _Mhm…"_

"And you've been taking care of her?"

" _Yeah…"_ He yawned. " _Please come home soon."_

Anna sighed. Honestly, she didn't know what was going on. Elsa hadn't gotten sick much ever since Olaf was born - she froze. Her thoughts were jumbled, yes, but… no, she couldn't be. Elsa couldn't have been… She cleared her tight throat. "Alright, just stay put, buddy. I'll be home in an hour."

" _Hurry!"_

* * *

She didn't need an hour to get home, seeing how her adrenaline was as high as kite. Whether it was from… well, that night, or knowing that Elsa could be in some kind of danger, whatever it was, she was already in front of the house.

Rapidly, she knocked on the door. She had no time to look for her keys - which… probably was lost in the damn bedroom.

"Elsa?! Open up!" For a while, while she backed away to see if anybody was inside through the window - the white curtains blocked her view - nobody answered her. A little impatient and restless as Anna was, she watched the door carefully.

Olaf was the one to let her in. "Mama?"

"Oh, dear…" She quickly grabbed the boy and hugged him. Obviously concerned, the woman quickly pulled away to examine his body, hands rubbing his arms and tummy. "Thank god, you're okay. Where's Mom?"

Olaf bit down a smile and held his Mama's hand. "Come in, Mama…"

The woman let her little boy drag her in… and while just looking around, she didn't notice anything different? Well, except for the fact that there were leftover food and dishes on the dining table. "Olaf, is something wrong with Mom?"

He hummed, taking them up to the second floor. "Mm… she's just sick, that's what she told me." He didn't get to say anything else when Anna noticed her ex-lover sitting on the floor… her arms hugging the toilet bowl in the bathroom. Anna blinked. Elsa probably didn't even notice Olaf had let her in. She must've felt extremely horrible the whole day.

The redhead took a deep breath and ruffled the boy's hair. "Alright, I'll take care of Mom. In the meantime, why don't you go watch TV?"

He shook his head, rubbing his eyes. "Mama, I'm sleepy…"

"A-Anna…? Is that you?"

Ah. Anna immediately looked into the bathroom to see… God, those red cheeks and eyes looked horrible. She grimaced. "Yeah… hey, just hold on a sec. Alright, you can go take a nap. I'll wake you up for snacks later okay?"

Olaf didn't even say anything else and made sure he hugged his Mama before going to his room. She was left alone with Elsa, walking into the small bathroom to make sure she was okay. Well, in this case… both of them weren't remotely okay. Not even Anna could tell her all the things that made everything not okay, honestly. But now… well, she needed to tend to Elsa's wellbeing.

"Hey, what happened? You okay?" Anna grabbed a cup and turned on the faucet for some cold water. "Here, drink this. All of it." She rubbed the woman's back, watching the blonde carefully as she slowly sipped the water.

Right now, Anna's priorities were set. She wasn't going to discuss what happened between Meg and her… not now at least. Perhaps, not ever. But that was just for her - and if Elsa were to see Meg in the morning to drop off Olaf to school… lord knows what the hell would go down.

Yes, she realized she had to communicate to Elsa, even if she wouldn't. This just wasn't the time.

Elsa sighed, placing the glass cup on the ground next to her. "God, I don't know what's going on… I was having dinner with Olaf. A few hours later, I just vomited all over the place. It just kept going. I had Olaf keep bringing me water and… I couldn't ask him to go to sleep."

Anna winced. "Ooh… that's bad. Did you take any pills? Anything at all? Should I call the hospital -"

Elsa shook her head. "I took some pills. I probably just have food poi - oh god." Her head was deep in the toilet bowl again, regurgitating whatever that was left in her stomach. Anna continued to pat her back, barely hiding the disgust on her face.

"Okay. Okay… there you go. I'll just… uh, I'm gonna go see if there's any Advil."

"Wait, wait, wait…" She grabbed Anna's hand, her head laid on the seat of the toilet. God, she must have been exhausted. "You didn't tell Hans, did you?"

Hm? _That's odd._ Though curious, Anna shook her head. "No, why?"

"Nothing… I don't want him to worry, that's all."

Anna almost rolled her eyes when opened the cabinet over the sink. _Toothbrushes… toothpaste… bandaids… aha -_ Her heart nearly dropped. In the corner of her eyes… there was a box that Anna knew was supposed to be unopened. A box that Elsa had gotten just as a precaution for the future. And Anna silently grabbed the purple box that was labeled "First Response Pregnancy". Her eyes furrowed in silence, turning around to see Elsa still had her head down in exhaustion.

She hadn't mistaken. She couldn't be, seeing how she knew all the nooks and cracks around the house. There was no way Elsa would have opened it if it wasn't -

"Anna, did you find it?"

Tears brimmed the corner of her eyes. Her body trembled in fear. Her mouth was agape, completely speechless. Heartbroken. Confused. She was so weak, Anna could barely stand, so she leaned against the sink. "Elsa… are you…" She tried to blink the tears away. "Are you pregnant?"

Immediately, the blonde turned her head, blue eyes falling on the box. "Anna -"

Anna ran her fingers through her hair, looking away… and there was just no help when it came to holding her tears back. Did she… did Elsa hate her that much to get pregnant with his baby? Anna wanted to throw up more than Elsa did. "Did you…" She choked back. "Did you call me up just to tell me that you're pregnant with his -"

"It's not like that."

Anna wanted to scream. "Then what the hell is this?"

"Anna, can you calm down? Look in the trash can."

"Huh?" When Elsa raised an eyebrow, the girl immediately obeyed. The stick with a pink end stood out from the trash. What stood out even more was the sight of just a small thin line on it as well.

Anna almost felt like she'd died from relief. But all she did was sigh in relief… shedding tears, even. She couldn't even talk. Anna slowly fell to the ground, hands placed against her face. This was embarrassing. "Oh God… I'm so sorry… I thought -"

"Did you really think me this lowly to think that I would get pregnant so quickly?" Elsa's question was brutal. Well, she did deserve it.

Anna shook her head. "I just… it's been a long day."

"I know. Just know I'm not pregnant, okay? I thought I was but it'd be too crazy."

"Did you want to get pregnant?"

"This is not the time for that." The woman immediately jerked and cover her mouth. "N-Now would you please grab those pills for me?"

Shit. She'd totally forgotten about this… uh, disgusting situation. There was no better way to put it. At least, her most feared situation was dealt with.

"Why didn't you call me last night to tell me you were sick. Did you even sleep?" Anna grabbed the little blue bottle of pills.

"I didn't… want to bother you two."

Oh.

Turning, Anna couldn't even respond to that. Elsa's face was so stoic… blank, and even behind those eyes, Anna was seeing heartbreak. _Us two, huh?_ The girl handed two pills to her silently and filled the glass cup with water. "Here." Even her voice was quiet with guilt.

Leaning against the sink, arms crossed, she watched Elsa take the pills and slowly drink her water.

At this point, Anna honestly didn't know what to say. At this point… she knew she definitely couldn't tell Elsa what the hell happened. Of course, she'd have to confront Meg about it - especially when confrontation was never her strong suit.

Anna looked down, reaching for her arm. "Alright, you should get some sleep -"

"I called you six times, Anna. What were you doing this morning?" The woman got up, looking straight into her eyes. Anna's body tensed. What the hell was she supposed to say? That she had one too many drinks when she promised Elsa she wouldn't drink so much? That Meg, for the night, had been her comfort - her own cure for Anna's damn loneliness? That she slept with another woman who actually made her feel like she belonged?

Anna had to glance away as she took her ex-wife into the bedroom. "I… overslept." That was a shitty excuse and a shitty lie, and Anna knew exactly that.

Elsa kept quiet for a moment, her eyes wandering on Anna's blank expression. "Splitting headache?"

The girl smiled. "Well, this morning, yeah." She tucked the blanket under Elsa's chin and sat beside her.

"Seems like you had a lot of fun with Meg. What did you two do?"

 _God, why does she want to know so much?_ "Oh, you know… we talked about work. Olaf. Went around town for a little bit, and then, we went home."

"I see."

"A-Are you sure you're going to be alright? Do you want me to take Olaf to school tomorrow? He hasn't slept, right? I-I can stay -"

For some reason, Elsa grimaced. She grabbed Anna's wrist. "Hold on. For one second, I want you to be honest with me. Just right now… whatever you want to say, don't say it."

Cold sweat was already breaking, and every single thought that ran through Anna's mind came crashing to a stop. She knew that look on Elsa's face - the frustration, the anger… no, the disappointment. Oh, if Anna wasn't in trouble, then she didn't know what was wrong. "Yeah… what it is?"

"I'm glad… Olaf had a great time with you. I'm glad that he didn't come home with nightmares still haunting him. But there is just one thing… _one_ thing that I didn't understand when I talked to him. One thing that I didn't understand about you. Anna… we promised one thing, didn't we? We promised to make our boy grow up with a smile on his face. We promised to not let our marriage get in the way of his study, of his life. Right?"

Anna slowly nodded. Even without Elsa saying anything, Anna could feel her own guilt building up even more. "Yeah, totally."

"So let me ask you this, Anna. Why did you tell him that his mothers are not together?"

* * *

a/n: yikes...


	14. Chapter 14

_a/n:_ woowee _, last chapter really got people riled up huh?_ im _not sorry :) this chapter tho, yall have been waiting for. also poor_ olaf _,_ i _wanna hug that little cutie_ potatoie _into bits_

* * *

Anna blinked. Did she hear correctly? Was that seriously what Elsa had to ask? What a joke! Really, Anna didn't believe that the blonde could be that dense - that upset - to ask Anna that question so blindly. And she thought Anna was blind. How unfair. How… damn it, how disgusting.

She almost pushed herself away, being taken aback by her question. Elsa's strong gaze holding on Anna's almost made it seem like she had the right to ask that.

"Elsa… are you…" She was too flabbergasted to say anything, raising both eyebrows. This was somehow amusing that even Anna had to laugh. "You're really going to ask me _that?"_

"He's a kid - don't you understand?" Elsa argued, eyes squinted in exasperation. "Do you know how hard he will take it once he knows? And he already does, Anna!"

"Are you kidding?" Anna got up from the bed, her back facing the front it. She let her fingers run through her hair out of frustration and rage. Honestly, what sort of words could get through her damn head? Elsa was smart, yes… but the things she'd say sometimes was beyond anything Anna would think she'd say. That included that fucking question. The redhead wanted to just smash her skull in.

"Anna, do you get it? Do you know what we are sacrificing?"

"He's my child, Elsa - he deserves to know."

"He is _a child_!"

"AND FOR A CHILD, HE IS FUCKING CAPABLE AND SMART ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND JUST THAT!"

Silence.

All the anger that she had balled up inside, the curses that swam through her mind… just burst out like a raging storm. It wasn't pretty. She let it happen - she let herself go, and just turning around, and seeing Elsa's shocked eyes confirmed the fact. The look in Elsa's eyes could almost make Anna throw up.

Her heart was inflamed with hurt, even shattered into broken pieces. She hadn't yelled for so long. She hadn't even _cursed_ in that household in months. Was it really one question that made her explode like that? Or perhaps, was she just angry at herself for… having to find love in Meg that night? The thought haunted her.

And Anna was too ashamed of Elsa and herself to even speak. She stared back down to the ground because… well, perhaps, that was what Elsa wanted right? That Elsa really thought of her so lowly.

The girl took a deep breath. "I… I _don't_ want to hear that when we have been like this for nearly a year. I love you, and I understand that you don't want to hurt our baby boy. But look at him… _look at me_. He asks me _questions_ \- he asks his teacher questions - about us, which even Meg and I don't know how to answer. He's hurt enough, even if he doesn't know it, Elsa."

The blonde sat up in bed, arching a brow in confusion. "He… _what?"_

So Olaf never did ask her anything. Oh, how fitting.

"Elsa, don't you think it's enough? Can we just cut the crap - screw whatever you think of us - and be honest with him for once?" She took a deep breath. "I can stay here for tonight, and we'll… we'll take the time to talk. However much time we need, alright?" She let her ex-wife think about it. Of course, Anna could just sense the agony. Even Anna couldn't believe that Olaf did not turn to his Mom to speak about these issues. Indeed… at least Olaf was smart enough to understand that his own mother wouldn't talk about it at home.

Elsa turned away. Even Anna knew the woman was reluctant to say yes. She could be angry all she wanted - but at least, Anna knew, this was the best for Olaf.  
"Mama?"

The girls looked behind them to see the little boy standing by the doorway, holding his teddy bear. His smile was upside down and a little tear sat on the corner of his eye.

Anna froze. "Honey? What are you doing?"

"M-Mama… a-are you two arguing?" he whimpered slightly before tucking his face back against Marshmallow's head. The two looked at each other, contemplating what to do. "I-I don't like arguing…"

Her ex-lover's head was shaking, fingers in her hair. Well, whether Elsa was disappointed in her or not, Anna didn't give two shits at the moment. But it was her fault for exploding like that.

Slowly, Anna walked up to pick Olaf up from the ground and to her arms. "Hey, hey…" She wiped his little comet of tears from his cheek and sat him between his mothers in bed. "Don't cry, buddy. I'm sorry. Mama yelled too loudly. Did I wake you up?" She rubbed his small back.

Olaf nodded, rubbing his eye. "Mhm."

Anna pushed his messy hair back and looked at Elsa to urge her to say something. Good thing Elsa was smart enough to understand that, at least.

The blonde smiled, leaning in to kiss his hair. "We were just… discussing our future, Olaf. It's nothing special. Right?"

"Yeah, exactly." Olaf turned to his Mama once more for confirmation. His cheeks were puffy from pouting. "Oh, buddy… It must have been scary, huh?"

He wrapped his teddy around his arms against his chest. "I…" He swallowed, tucking his chin on Marshmallow. "I thought I had a nightmare when you yelled, Mama…"

"Oh... It's not a nightmare." For once, Anna wished it was.

"Then why did you yell?"

Anna didn't know how to explain it to him - and even if she turned to Elsa… that woman wouldn't say anything. She tightened her smile, watching him crawl to his Mom, sitting on her lap. She looked at Elsa again, and knowing how her eyes softened - how she avoided looking at Anna a second later. Right there and then, Anna knew Elsa realized it really was time to tell him everything.

Her heart tightened with every little beat, her hands tingling at the thought and the fear of making Olaf cry. She, herself, wanted to cry. But instead of being the child here, Anna had to face her fears.

She shifted on the side of the bed and sat closer to Elsa, a hand placed on the blonde's lap. That was the least she could do - the only affection that Anna could give that would ease Olaf's pain. "Let's see… do you remember what I told you about my ring before, honey?"

His eyes crawled to her finger with uncertainty and nodded. "Yeah…"

"What did I say?"

"That it was a present from Mom… That it's a special kind of present that only a special someone can give?"

Her eyes brimmed with tears, and Anna could barely see the two people before her. Anna patted his head. "Yeah…" she breathed, her voice completely broken. "That's exactly what I said. Now, take… take a look at Mom's finger."

Elsa immediately stretched out her fingers for him. Ah, the woman knew exactly what was being said - and now, they just needed to take this slowly and steadily. But even then, Anna could barely take this.

Olaf frowned with worry, his tiny fingers skimming on Elsa's hand. "Mom doesn't have one?"

The blonde mirrored her soft expression. Elsa rubbed his little tummy as a reward. "That's right. Now, you're a good boy. Mama and I are very proud of you. We are very, _very_ happy that we brought you into this world. But even when we are happy that you are here, Mama and I can't give each other the happiness that we want."

He deepened his little glare. "Hm? What do you mean?"

This was just getting harder and harder with every word coming out. Especially when she was on the verge of crying. _God, what kind of week is this?_

Anna continued, "Well, you see… a few months back, Mom… wanted to be with someone else. See…" She crossed her legs together, sitting so that she was face to face with her family. "Remember when I told you some people are happier with someone else rather than the person they currently love?"

Olaf nodded.

"Well, Mom loves someone else. But that doesn't mean Mom hates me. She just -"

"Grew tired of you…?" _Ouch._ Olaf clearly listened to every word she'd said. Hearing it back was ten times more hurtful. Her trembling fingers couldn't stop its shaking, and Anna… God, Anna finally broke down. Tears streamed down her cheeks, but still, the happiness shown on her lips stayed in place like a damn mask. Anna nodded, taking a deep breath, her fingers quickly coming up to wipe her own tears. And even for Elsa… as cold as she was, at least, she also had tears in her eyes.

"Yeah, buddy. So I can't be selfish and tell her to stay. And you…" She pointed a finger at his chest. "You should never be selfish too, understand?"

"Mama…?" He hugged his teddy even tighter. "W-Why are you crying…?" The boy quickly turned around to see Elsa looking away to the sun. "Mom? A-Am I right…? Are you two not together anymore?"

Anna quickly covered her mouth to conceal her cries, her back turned to him. She shut her eyes to squeeze out the bitterness in her tears. She was completely shattered. Her little boy… her little angel, even when she wasn't looking, Anna knew he was going to have a hard time facing that fact. This _disgusting_ reality of their marriage. And he was so young - so pure in life - he shouldn't have been between their problems. Both of those women knew it, yet… this was what it came down.

"Mama, you said I wasn't a bad boy…"

Weakly, reluctantly, Anna turned around just to see the guilt in his eyes. She shook her head, her smile barely holding. Fingers ran through his hair, his cheek... "No, baby… no, you're not, okay? Mama is the one that's bad."

But there was just no stopping the little sobs and hiccups that slowly formed, and all of it just passed through his pouting lips. Anna didn't want to see this. Didn't want the boy to blame her for what happened.

And even for a kid, he was absolutely trying his best to hold it together. Though, he wasn't doing a very good job. Anna very much wanted to hold him, but she was trembling so much that just letting him hear those words was too much.

"Mom…" He turned to Elsa, dropping Marshmallow to embrace his mother.

"Oh, baby, come here…" It was heartbreaking enough to see Elsa hold him tight. To see Olaf turn to his mother that broke them apart.

"Mama, Mom… I don't wanna - I'll be a good boy from now on… P-Please don't go," he cried. Anna was speechless, letting nothing but her own sorrow - her own regret - flow. And when she thought she could handle giving him that talk, right now, she was completely mistaken.

"God, I… I'm so sorry." Hearing him cry because of them was the last thing she wanted. And immediately, with a final sob escaping her lips, she got up from the bed and turned to the door. She knew she shouldn't leave like that.

Elsa was calling for her, holding their boy in her gentle arms like the proper mother that she was. Anna didn't want to hear any of it. The more she stayed in there, the more Olaf was going to despise them.

She ran downstairs, a hand placed to her mouth to stop her desperate whimpers, and into the backyard. Ah, peace at last… but how long was it really going to last?

Right here, she was able to cry freely. She cursed the sky. She cursed herself. For the longest time, Anna just sat on the porch swing, her head dropped down, heavy with guilt. She stared at the tears that trickled down to the grassy ground. Her heart was pounding and every little beat was accompanied with tortuous reminders of her innocent son trapped between his mothers' problems.

Perhaps, she'd been like this for an hour or two. Being by herself with her thoughts really made time fly. She sniffled, finally, managing to pick her head up and look at her surroundings. Honestly… when had the grass grown this green? Where did all the toys come from, seeing it all scattered through the yard? Was the house… really that white?

The birds chirped like it was still early morning, nearby cars echoing as they sped through the road, and as Anna looked up, a slow breeze brushed her freckled cheeks, and her hair slowly danced with the wind. The sun blinded her eyes so she shut it, leaving her head laid back. The bench rocked her gently. Her heart that was once shattered - and while it had not been mended back yet - was at peace for once. After everything, this was the least she could experience right?

But she shouldn't have shut her eyes because through all that darkness… all she could see was Meg. The woman that seemingly gave her happiness. Her comfort. Her _love_ that Anna shouldn't have accepted.

What they did - what Anna accepted was merely out of desperation, and nothing more. What Anna wanted was _someone_ , and as it turned out, that someone was Meg for the night. What did her heart say? Even Anna didn't know what it said. But she knew one thing was clear - it shouldn't have happened.

Yes, Meg was a wonderful woman. A wonderful friend. But between the two, Anna knew… it was just _impossible._ So why was she thinking about her?

Was it because of that wondrous, drunken night? Perhaps… how Meg actually listened to her? Gave Anna someone to lean on? Gave her warmth when the nights were so bleak?

When Anna thought she would feel something else, she only felt regret. What happened… just complicated so much that she didn't dare to tell Elsa anymore.

Speaking of…

"Olaf went to take a nap."

Anna tilted her head back down to see Elsa by the door with a book in her arms and a blanket around her shoulders. She raised an eyebrow. _Our wedding book?_ "He did? That's good. How is he?"

Elsa took a deep breath of the autumn air, taking in her surroundings. "Slightly pouty, but he didn't throw much of a fit." She walked towards Anna and relaxed next to her. The bench slowly swung back and forth. "He cried a lot. Cried himself to sleep actually." Elsa chuckled. "Did you know what he said right before that?"

Ah, this was as lighthearted as things could get. "What?"

"He said he'll be very strong when he grows up to protect us both."

Anna looked away, rubbing her forehead. "God, I'm… I'm sorry for running out like that. I knew I should've just stayed but -"

"It's okay. He understands now."

A hand rubbed on Anna's back. Anna glanced towards her in curiosity, eyeing for her cold… blank expressions. Somehow, Elsa looked in peace. "Does he? What about you? How do you feel?"

Elsa smiled, eyes wandering her big house. "A little bloated but I feel better. Honestly… I think we did a good job letting that out of our chest."

Anna couldn't help but chuckle at that, her cheeks finally glowing. "Yeah, well… I cried my eyes out." She paused. "What about Hans?"

"What _about_ Hans?"

She bit her lip. "You… said you wanted to get pregnant. I'm not… I'm not opposing it. I just…"

"You don't feel comfortable, do you?" Now that they seemed to have calm down, having a decent conversation was much easier. Elsa looked up at the sky, its blue reflecting her eyes. "I don't know, Anna. I don't know I want. I just know… when I threw up, I didn't feel any happiness. At the time, I didn't feel at all hopeful."

"Why?" Anna leaned close to her, her arm brushing against Elsa's.

"Let's just say a part of me isn't ready yet."

The birds continued to chirp. The clouds continued to float freely.

Anna didn't know what to think, but she knew… there wasn't much meaning behind what Elsa said. That woman had made everything perfectly clear, after all. But somehow, Anna was dangerously calm - and perhaps, all that weeping and anger inside of her had finally been emptied out moments ago.

She looked away with a soft intake of breath. "You know, you almost gave me a heart attack."

A lighthearted laugh sounded. "Oh, don't be so dramatic."

She really wasn't being dramatic at all but she wasn't going to say anything. Though, their wedding book kept catching Anna's attention. She hadn't seen that ancient thing for such a long time, she almost thought it'd been lost in the house. In fact… it was kept in clean, mint condition. The book was still whiter than ever and the pages were rid of any old crinkles.

"Our wedding book?" Anna questioned.

"I thought it'd be fun to look through it."  
"Where'd you find that anyway?"

"Oh, I had it in the bottom drawer in the bedroom. So would you like to..." Now, not only did it sound fun, but pretty heartbreaking as well. Not that Anna opposed… she'd love to relive those happy memories they had. Besides… how could she ever deny those bright, glistening eyes? "You don't want to?"

Contemplating for a short while, Anna sat back and allowed Elsa share her blanket. "Hell… why not?"

"See, that's my girl." She flipped through the first page of the thick book… where the two pages was just a whole picture of Elsa in a wedding dress, sitting on top of a beautiful horse, Anna, in a handsome tuxedo, holding the rein on the ground. Ah, Anna definitely remember this, seeing how their smile was brighter than the sun.

"Oh man. You nearly cried back then, you know?" Anna laughed. "We needed five people to get you on Angel."

Elsa rolled her eyes. "I didn't think they were going to bring out a horse. Being in the forest was scary enough."

She grimaced. "Hey, that was the best part of the photoshoot - just watching you freak out about every little thing."

"Oh please."

Quietly, Elsa flipped to the next page. This time, it was them on the dance floor… their embrace being ever so tender, where the light was shining only on them. A few pictures that took the space in the bottom was filled with their friends and family. A few of them which Anna couldn't recognize anymore.

Though, Anna still couldn't get her eyes off Elsa. The wedding dress, she remembered, was worth thousands of dollars, but it looked so wonderful on her fair skin that it was all worth it. She was just… absolutely glowing with ecstasy in the photo. She didn't change at all.

"Do you remember him?" Elsa pointed at the muscular man with copper hair at the bottom of their beautiful photo. Ah, his name… what was it, Hercules? Really, quite a ridiculous name. But it fit, seeing him flaunt his muscles with a group of other people.

Anna leaned closer to her for a better look. "Oh yeah, that guy. Do we still even talk to him?"

"No." Elsa was giggling like a schoolgirl. "I still remember that evening he tried to eat two pieces of cake at once. Everyone had such a laugh. It was quite impressive, actually."

"Didn't he end up throwing up afterward?"

She shrugged. "Lasting impression of him, isn't it?" Elsa flipped to the next page. This time it was a photo of them fooling around in their wedding outfit. Elsa had a slab of cake and whip cream in her hand that met with Anna's face. The reaction that Anna had that time prompted them both to burst into a hysterical laughter.

"Oh, having to slap you with a piece of cake was the highlight of that evening, I can tell you that."

"God, you were so rough with it!" Anna playfully punched her arm. "I hated you.'

"Well, it was your fault for being taken off guard like that." She shrugged as she casually flipped through the other pages. "That cake was very delicious, you have to admit."

"Too delicious, apparently. You almost finished half of it all."

"Don't you mean _we_?"

And for while, not only was this a bittersweet moment for Anna… like she expected, it was a lot of fun, going through those photos. Waves of laughter were echoed, even some sweet talks about their fond memories were always welcomed.

Though, many of the things there, Anna had already forgotten… but oh, how could she ever forget the girl that she married? She remembered very dearly of the happiness that glowed on their face, and the way their eyes looked at each other ever so lovingly. Right there and then… Anna didn't hold any grudges while she embraced the past.

And seven years ago… God, seven years ago, Anna knew exactly that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with that woman. Seven years ago, that Anna was a very naive person. But at least, she knew to hold onto those memories tight.

Then came the last page and a little photo slipped out to the ground. Immediately, Anna bent down to pick it up -

It was a photo of them both in the hospital. Of them both laughing, smiling, crying… in hospital gowns. Of Elsa holding their little boy in her arms. She was covered in sweat, tears of joy, but Anna knew the beauty of it. He was still red and dirty - crying - at the time. His little fingers were so small, but still had the strength to clench them together in a fist.

She remembered so many things that time. Elsa was there in the hospital for hours. Cries of agony sounded, and Anna had to suffer through it all with her voice being the only encouragement. She remembered Elsa's father and mother coming all the way from Norway just before the baby was born. She remembered… just holding Olaf in her arms - this tiny infant who just came into this world, wailing loudly - and realized how fragile he was. She realized she should… gave him the world if it meant she'd sacrifice everything in her life.

And all went silent. All those memories came crashing through their mind very clearly, very fast.

Anna sat back, laying the photo on the book. Their eyes could not tear away from that miracle of a picture.

Elsa lightly skimmed her fingers through it gently. "I told you I named him Olaf because I wanted him to be treated like a king. You loved the name, you thought it was so cute. He was a feisty little baby back then. Got that from you."

Anna tightened her smile. "Yeah." In the corner of her eyes, Elsa was gazing at her… and nothing could beat that sense of remorse. Of sorrow. Anna couldn't bear to look.

"He grew up faster than we thought, didn't he?" Elsa breathed. That, Anna couldn't disagree on.

"In a blink of an eye, he'll be going to college, thinking about what he wants to do… Having his own life. He wouldn't care about us old ladies." Anna let out a light chuckle. Just thinking about that made Anna's heart ache even more. It was just funny, thinking about it only now when they were still in their late-twenties. "God, I wonder if he'll be like us when we first met. Just… a twenty-one and twenty-three year old in a club, having a great night together. Marry a year later because we were young and immature like that."

"I think we were mature enough," Elsa responded playfully. "Really, talking like that like we're already old? I thought I'd never see the day, Anna Arendelle."

Even Anna herself was surprised. Sighing, she parted from her ex-wife's warmth and stretched her limbs out. "Mm, guess we are getting old."

"Come now, don't say that. I'm older than you, and we're still in our twenties."

Anna laughed to wave her off. "Anyway, do I get to stay for the night? I'll make dinner."

The woman rolled her eyes, closing the book. "It's barely late afternoon."

"Yeah, late afternoon and I still haven't eaten. I gotta clean that mess in the kitchen too -"

"Just so we're clear, are you sure you're alright?" Elsa's eyebrows furrowed, her hand grabbing on Anna's. But what did she mean by 'alright'? Anna hadn't been that for a while. She couldn't say it though.

Anna nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay." She stood up, waving her hand to prompt Elsa to follow suit. "Come on, let's get up. I'm starving." A sound rumbled from her stomach. "Whoops, you hear that?"

Slowly, they took their time to walk back in. "Should I make you something?"

"No, you stay put. I don't want you getting sick again."

"Like you can actually cook?"

She shrugged. "I'm a learning chef. I'll make us sandwiches."

"The last time you did, you put too much mayonnaise and it was -"

"- it was _delicious_. This time I _promise_ won't, cool?"

"You're insatiable."


	15. Chapter 15: Somebody Else

a/n: o boi... "Somebody Else" by the 1975 got me weeping, while writing this

* * *

When Anna brought Olaf home that evening, she'd been making dinner. Not great, but she was trying. Elsa wasn't feeling quite well. Though, what mattered was that Olaf was getting something to eat for the evening.

Things were quiet after Olaf had left for the week. Hans had come a lot more often than she'd expected - especially after the argument. If anything… Hans seemed to have grown a lot more closer. A lot more intimate. A lot more… fluffy. She didn't dare to say that it was just to get Elsa in his arms reach, but… it really seemed that way.

If Elsa minded one bit, she would have said something - but she kept quiet like a good girlfriend. No, she just didn't want to think Hans would ever betray her, that's all.

Once Anna had left, all the thoughts that swirled her mind was nothing but whatever that girl would be doing with Meg that night. She shouldn't be thinking about it, she knew. This was the first time Anna had ever hung out with Meg. 'Hung out'. Perhaps, dating would be a suitable word?

The idea disgusted her, and knowing that Anna had always been naive and oblivious at times, was completely nauseating. Which, seemed fitting for this situation.

Meg had always been a great friend and a great teacher to Olaf - but sometimes… Elsa always wondered what was going on inside her head whenever she talked about her ex-wife the next morning Olaf was going to school. She suspected things but Elsa didn't want to believe it.

She had no right to believe or not to believe anything - she wanted Anna to have someone special, and she was going to _get_ someone special tonight.

But was it so wrong to worry? Perhaps. It just wasn't her choice anymore, and yet, here she was… overthinking things.

As much of a hypocrite she was, she only worried that Anna would be used. If she found who she wanted to be with, that's wonderful… but there was just no telling whether Anna would be treated with greatness or not. She had been a great wife - now, she needed a person who would be great to her.

"Olaf, wash up, we're eating dinner now."

The boy was unpacking all his little presents on the couch. "Mkay!"

"Now, baby. Not later, _now_ ," she said a bit louder from the kitchen, and a bit more stern.

"Yes, Mom!" He immediately got up to the upstairs' bathroom.

She sighed, setting herself on the dining table, her hands placed on her head. It had been throbbing for hours now - along with the fact that she kept holding in this little nausea she had. "God, please don't throw up… please…"

"Mom?" Ah, Olaf was down already. She picked her head up to see worried littles eyes gazing at her as Olaf sat himself across from her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Mom is fine." The woman began serving his portion of food. "So how was your little stay in Mama's house, hm? You weren't being a naughty boy, were you?"

"No, Mom!" He giggled. "Mama told me lots of bedtime stories when I went to bed. Can I have more mashed potatoes, please?"

Elsa gladly scooped another spoonful. "Oh, did she? No scary stories? But you do hate scary stories," she laughed, "Anything else?"

"Hmm…" He took a bite of his chicken. "She also told me about… what happened."

"What happened?"

"Mhm… about how you love someone else?"

Elsa paused. She did what? They promised each other not to say a goddamn thing. They promised each other to keep their family together - to keep Olaf in a state of happiness. And the way Olaf was looking at her now… was not that happy-go-lucky expression he had a minute ago. She was disappointed, but she understood.

Anna had always been the talkative one, after all.

The woman put her fork and knife down, clenching her jaw tight. "Olaf, you don't think me wrong for loving someone else right?"

He shook his head. "No, why? I-I mean…" He pouted. "I-I like family… Does Mama hate Uncle Hans?"

That was something Elsa was still thinking to herself at times. Sure, there were conflicts between them but nothing couldn't be solved without talking. Maybe some yelling involved but -

Her eyebrows furrowed in frustration. They really needed to have a talk after this. "See, you can only love one person. I guess… Mama hates it that I'm being taken away by someone else."

He hummed and nodded, but didn't say anything else.

"Do you understand, honey?"

"Mhm." He grew quiet again. This wasn't the kind of 'understanding' Elsa expected from him. But she didn't have much strength to explain any further - she didn't want to explain any further. She didn't want to lose the only happiness that was Olaf to something so… miserable as their marriage.

"What do you understand?"

Olaf contemplated, scratching his head. "That… people are free to love whoever they want…? Mama told me that too."

"Alright, I'm going to have to talk to your mother about this."

"Why?"

"You don't have to worry about it. Come on, tell me more about your adventures at the zoo today." She smiled to get rid of all these stupid thoughts. This anger inside her.

"Oh, so today, I saw this big, _big_ polar bear!"

* * *

The last thing Anna ever wanted was to see Olaf ignoring her… and it was true, Olaf didn't ignore her. He acted like everything was normal - as what it should have been if they hadn't told him anything anyway. They didn't regret it - at least, that was what Anna thought with Elsa. But if Elsa ever did regret anything, Anna wouldn't know. That's what started all this, after all.

She made sandwiches when Olaf woke up, and Elsa was laying on the couch, watching the latest news.

The quietness… was all too normal, but Anna was kind of getting used to it. Kind of liking it. Normality in this house was often not present after the divorce. This was their new 'normal' now, she supposed.

The boy was laying with his oldest mother, leaning his head against her chest. And like any normal boy and girl, he had his teddy with him. He shouldn't be napping in the living room, but they both let it go this time.

She grabbed the three plates brimmed with sandwiches. Roasted turkey, tomato, lettuce… and let's not forget the mayonnaise. "Guys, time to eat." She steadied them on the table, watching Elsa wake up the boy.

"Honey, time to get up…"

"Mm…" He rubbed his eyes. It was a good time, he was never one of those kids who whine when being woken up. "What are we eating?"

"I made sandwiches, buddy. Yum, yum. Let's go. Wash up." Anna placed her hands on her hips, watching the kid drop his teddy on the couch and dragged his feet to the bathroom. Elsa was already striding to the kitchen to pour them all glasses of water.

"He's not pouty, at least." Anna sighed in relief and sat herself on the chair.

"That's a good thing," she set three a glasses of water on the table, "it just shows he still loves his mothers through thick and thin."

"Yeah."

Elsa sat next to her, and in the background, they could hear the faucet turning… and Olaf's little voice talking to himself. The blonde chortled lightly. "He's still a kid. And I know that's not what you want to hear, Anna, but it's the truth."

Anna didn't deny it was the truth. She sighed, hearing the boy come down from the stairs, humming to himself a little tune. "Just… whatever happens, let it happen. I don't want us holding back just because he's a kid."

"I know."

"Mama! You made sandwiches!" He stood between them both with the most joyous smile on his face. This was a hundred times better than having to see him weep in his mother's arms before. The smile Anna had was so bittersweet.

"Yeah, buddy. Bet you're hungry too, I think I did a good job." She eyed Elsa's amused expression. "Right, _Mom?_ "

Olaf gasped as he got into his seat across from them. "Right, Mom?!" he repeated with excitement.

"Right, right. We'll be the judge of that, yeah, Olaf?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Well, go on!" Anna chuckled. "Take the first bite."

The two took their bite and based on their silence - well, Elsa's mostly, while Olaf probably would enjoy anything made by his moms - Anna could already feel pleased with herself. The blonde's eyes widened, a finger placed to her lips as she chewed.

"So? What do you think?"

Olaf just squealed with happiness and took another bite. Elsa, on the other hand…

"Probably needs a bit of mayonnaise -"

"Oh please." Anna rolled her eyes.

The woman laughed, squeezing a hand on her shoulder. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I wish you'd make other food as good as this, Anna. I'm proud of you."

"Well, thank you, your majesty." Really, Elsa was being treated like a queen at the moment. She watched proudly and in relief as they both filled their stomach with deliciousness. Even Anna forgot to take her own first bite, but what did it matter if she could see them both eat with joy?

She glanced at Olaf, sitting across from her, his little eyes brightened like stars in the night. But he was quiet - usually. "Olaf, are you enjoying it?"

He nodded. "Mhm. It's good~"

Anna gently wiped the little sauce on the corner of his lips with a napkin. "Take your time, I don't want you choking." She looked at Elsa. "And you certainly seem to enjoy every last bite."

The woman laughed, definitely not looking at her. "How can I not when you made it?"

She shrugged. "I do recall, you definitely threw up a couple of times back then."

"Right, it was quite fun. Not delicious… but a good experience. Let's not do that again."

Anna smirked and took a bite of her sandwich. Ah, definitely not bad.

"So this morning, you said you overslept?" Elsa's voice completely halted her action. Anna didn't react. She was careful not to… so Elsa wouldn't know. She couldn't know - whatever happened today was heartbreaking enough.

"Yeah." She picked at the lettuce.

"Did Meg bring you home?"

She tensed again. Anna didn't allow her gaze to meet Elsa's - those blue eyes were really staring at her intensely. Why? Why did she care? What made her care so much now when she didn't care months ago? But Anna didn't say that aloud. The redhead rubbed her the bridge of her eyes. _Ah, the headaches are really coming back now._

"No, Elsa. I went home by myself, slept early and slept till late." She noticed Olaf's worried eyes on them. "Hey, can we not talk about this -"

"You're getting anxious?"

For fuck's sake. Sometimes, Elsa could really get annoying. Anna completely turned her undivided attention to the woman. The mask that Elsa had on was so unbearably ugly to her. And when Elsa sighed and turned away, Anna just knew… she didn't mean to get all frazzled up. What a joke.

"I'm sorry…" The blonde ran her fingers through her hair. "I don't know why I'm questioning you."

Anna didn't answer her.

"She's our friend, Anna -"

" _Yes_ , she's _our_ friend. Please don't think anything else, Elsa." She shouldn't even be lying like this. But with Olaf watching them…

"M-Mama? Are you arguing again…?"

The redhead immediately turned to the boy, her expression immediately softened. "No, no, we're not arguing. Continue eating, okay?"

He turned to his Mom with glistening eyes. "Mom?"

The older woman mirrored her fake fucking smile too. "Go on. After that, you have to do your homework, okay?"

"Okay…"

Elsa's phone on the table started vibrating, and the redhead couldn't help but look over to see who was calling. She wished she didn't. It was Hans. She felt a touch on her shoulder, and immediately, Anna switched her gaze to Elsa's furrowed brows.

"Stay here for a bit, I'm going to answer this call -"

"Hey." She grabbed Elsa's wrist. "What's going on?" Anna thought at least it'd make Elsa drop her guard, but it didn't.

The woman smiled - which, Anna knew was nothing more than a fake. "I'll be back. Just watch Olaf for me."

And like that, Anna watched the woman go upstairs and a small 'hey, sweetie' echoed from the staircase. She sighed, her head tilted down to her hands. She didn't mind Elsa having to say those words in the house like Anna wasn't here… it was just… the fact that Elsa would rather talk to Hans than be with her family broke Anna's heart. Perhaps, it didn't seem this way - and even Anna was a little hypocrite for saying this as she had spent her precious time with Meg - but nothing felt more horrible than to hear her laugh and smile at someone who wasn't her.

"Mama?"

"Hm?" She picked her head up.

Olaf shifted in his seat. "Are you angry?"

"Angry? About what?" She raised an eyebrow.

He pouted and wiped his mouth with a napkin. "Mom told me about how you don't like Uncle Hans very much yesterday… is that true?"

Ah. Who could blame him for outing all this? Her smile was tender, yet too broken. "No, that's not… well, a little, yeah."

"Why?"

She didn't want to explain anything else further that Olaf would tell to his mother. "Just know that Uncle Hans and I have very different opinions about each other okay?"

"Does he hate you?"

"I don't know, honey." _Enough. That is enough._

"But what if he does?"

"Nothing will happen, and you will still be a good boy." Taking a deep breath, Anna found herself hearing Elsa's voice getting a little louder. She frowned. Without a doubt, she was really just holding herself back from eavesdropping. "Alright, kid, eat your sandwich, I'll check up on Mom, okay?"

"Can I watch cartoon?"

"Yeah, just grab the remote. I'll be back, sweetie." Anna immediately got up from her seat and strode right up to her bedroom - well, near it. The door was closed, but a small gap still showed Elsa in the room. Who was pacing. Anna slowly got nearer, her ear facing the door.

" _Hans, please. Anna's here… I don't want you coming - No, that's not what I meant. You know that. Don't take this out of tangent. I know you're sorry, it's fine. … I got sick, alright, I didn't get pregnant. … I'm fine, thanks for caring. … I know, baby. We're eating lunch right now, you should go grab lunch too. … Good, I'll see you tomorrow, then. I love you."_

Anna stood against the wall, a finger to her lips, and glaring eyes staring down at the ground. The jealousy that she'd buried deep down fumed back up again because… to hear her say 'I love you' to someone else was unimaginable.

Elsa opened the door and her eyes widened at the sight of her ex-wife standing by the door. "Anna?" She blinked. "Were you eavesdropping?"

The woman didn't say anything and was just about to go back down with a final glare, but with a grip around her wrist…

"No, don't you dare run away -"

She immediately teared away from her grip, turning around to get right in her face. "Don't you tell me that I'm running away. What did you say? 'I don't want you coming'? What do you mean? He did something -"

"No."

"Don't you pull that _bullshit_ on me." She mumbled between her teeth, eyes full with crimson color of anger. She shouldn't be angry - she had no right to be angry. But if Elsa really wanted everything to be okay, she wouldn't have gone upstairs and be a mouse, just so she could speak to Hans. What, they weren't family anymore? Was Anna a stranger again? Was Anna an embarrassment to her? Or was it Hans that was her embarrassment?

Elsa shook her head, scoffing in disbelief. "And here I thought we were fine today."

"We _were_."

"Then why? Why are you angry?"

Anna took in a deep shaky breath, and finally, her eyes glistened with unshed tears. She crossed her arms, holding herself. No one else would hold her. " _I-I'm not angry._ I was… scared that you turning your back to me and talking to Hans up here, means that he has done something to you that I don't want to know." She shook her head. "If he _ever_ did anything, I wouldn't -"

"He didn't, Anna." She squeezed Anna's arm in comfort. And then, out came a disappointing sigh. That didn't help this situation at all. "Fine, we got into an argument. Nothing big… but… it was about you. It's always about you."

Anna nodded, still avoiding eye contact. "Me, huh…"

"He thinks I pay more attention to you and Olaf than I do with him. That's just not the case."

Anna sighed. She didn't need to know this. And for whatever reason that Elsa was telling her this… made her feel even worse than she should have felt. Worse as in… feeling bad? No, not for Hans, at least.

"Anna, you need to stop acting so paranoid - it's not who you are."

"Paranoid?" She squinted. "Is that what you really think of me?"

"You screamed at me today, and now this? What else am I going to call it, Anna?"

Anna didn't have time to argue. Elsa was as stubborn as a mule, there was just no getting past her fucking logic. "Look, I'm sorry for… freaking out like that. If you say everything's fine, then it's fine." She smiled tightly, nodding in acknowledgment.

"Good. We have separate love lives, there's no need to worry -"

 _Lives?_ "What? What are you talking about?"

"You, Anna." Elsa raised her eyebrows. "You and Meg? Or was I -"

"Elsa, it's not like that, I told you so many times," Anna huffed. _And she says I'm paranoid._

"That's… you two are a good fit. I don't blame Meg for liking you."

Anna groaned and started heading down the stairs. "We don't have any interests with each other. You're mistaken."

"That's not what I see..."

"What?"

Elsa's expression turned bitter and shook her head. "Nothing. Let's just go back down."

* * *

For the first time, Anna wasn't sure how to approach Meg. The classroom was just at the end of the hallway, where light shined from inside with the accompanying blackness in the hall. If that wasn't bad enough, she decided to send Olaf to school this morning, and leave him in front of the entrance.

Elsa decided to stay home and work in her own little home-office, but… fuck. Now she really had to face Meg, which she really hadn't thought of until now. She merely wanted to distract herself. She didn't know what to expect - but she sure as hell knew this was going to be awkward. Too awkward for their own good.

How could she ever face anyone - let alone, Elsa, anymore? Or her little boy?

What was she supposed to say? Mama cheated on your mother? Mama was lonely? Mama was a coward so she searched for comfort from someone else? What a joke.

She took a deep breath. _Get it over with, you idiot._ One step at a time... and every step felt heavier than the last. But she managed to get in front of the doorway. Her eyes searched the little classroom - with the usual, kids going on with their playtime with an assistant teacher watching over them - and then, there was Meg. Helping a young girl with her homework.

For once… just having to stare at her made Anna wonder whether… she was supposed to be nervous. No, or rather, why she was nervous. It really wasn't just because she 'cheated'. There was something different she couldn't exactly pinpoint, and really, did not want to.

"Mama!"

Anna gasped at the strong little arms hugging her, and two bright eyes gazed up. "Hey, buddy…" And she didn't ignore the adult eyes that immediately turned after. Meg… was definitely looking at her - or giving her a look. She didn't want to know.

"Heh, are you here to take me home?"

"Well, what else am I going to do here if I'm not?" She ruffled his hair. "Go on, grab your backpack, I'll sign us out."

"Okay!"

"And oh…" With the little courage she had left, Anna watched the woman in apron stride towards her with a clipboard in hand. Her expression… totally stoic. Anna understood - she wouldn't know how to react either. "Um, Olaf, could you go sit in the lunchroom for me again?"

He tilted his head. "Yeah…" Anna didn't doubt the big question mark popped up from the little boy. Though, she was glad he didn't question her a second later.

Finally, Anna was able to look at the teacher in the eye - a fake, clumsily made smile running across her cheeks. "Hi."

"Hey."

"Mama, I'll go down now."

Anna nodded at Olaf. "Yeah, you go, buddy. Be careful of the stairs."

"I will!" Instead, Olaf was just running down the dark hall. Anna would have expected Meg to call out in a stern voice, 'no running in the hall!' but she didn't. What a twist! Just like two nights ago! Ugh.

"Are you… doing alright?" Meg asked, quietly handing her the clipboard.

Anna quickly signed it. _Define 'alright', honestly._ "I don't know."

Meg was gazing intently. "You still have that bruise on your neck."

Anna widened her eyes, and immediately, she slapped a hand against the place where Meg had been staring at. This was… nothing she expected. She didn't even know that, that night they had it -

The redhead clenched her jaw, looking straight at her. Meg was tall, and Anna wasn't letting her guard down. "Meg, I -"

"No, I'm sorry. I should speak first." She looked around them. "But… I think we should go to a more secluded place."

"Yeah. Yeah, definitely."

Which they ended up doing, and now… just like when Meg had asked her to go for a drink, they decided to speak in the office again. Luckily, nobody was there like always. But Anna wasn't sure what to say - how to say - so she started pacing, a hand placed on her hip and another in her hair.

"You were saying?" Anna decided that was the best sentence that could come out. Not 'how did I get this mark' or 'what the fuck did we do'. None of that. She wasn't that person - not yet.

Meg just stood there, a little… bit in her own world. She clasped her hands together. Her eyes were searching, but for what? Perhaps, acceptance and forgiveness. "First off… I think you know what we did that night. _Exactly_ what we did." A pause, and a shake of a head - possibly, regretting everything. "I don't expect you to understand why. I don't expect anything from you. At all. I just… I wished things would have just ended differently."

Ended differently how? Anna squinted her eyes, shaking her head, confused. "Meg… we _fucked._ "

"And that changes what?"

Anna raised an eyebrow and scoffed. "That changes _everything_ , Meg… my ex-wife questioned me and I had to lie. I have never lied to her _ever._ "

"What do you want me to say, Anna? That I regret what we did?"

"Yes!"

" _Well, I don't!"_

Anna blinked, her heart skipping a beat. This was unexpected - but perhaps, she should have expected that answer. The way Meg had always… be nice, been touching her… how could she have not known? She was too shocked to even say anything, and she watched Meg run her tender fingers through her dark brown hair.

"God, Anna… I…" She took a deep breath. The silence was absolutely deafening and astounding. "I know I am you and Elsa's kid's teacher. I know that I am just a nobody when it comes to your family - but how do you expect me to react, to _look_ whenever I see and hear you talk about Elsa? I have been you two's friend for nearly two years, and not once have I seen you ever laugh or talk about anything else other than your ex-wife. Do you know how depressing it is? I wanted that night to just be us drinking and having you let everything out - but _this_ -" She unbuttoned the top of her collar shirt, peeled it open… and the bruised and red circular marks on top of her chest, neck, collarbone churned Anna's stomach. "... _you_ did this. And I did _that_. Willingly."

Her teal eyes were covered in tears but none ever streamed down Anna's cheek. She continued to shake her head in disbelief, but her head was as clear as daylight - and she just remembered every single time she kissed the woman - fucking _fucked_ her that night. Her heart, however, was a totaled mess, completely broken… only to be mended from that night like someone had just crumpled it back together with no care.

"Say _something,_ Anna!"

Anna pinched the bridge of her nose, letting out a choked breath. "For how long?"

"What?"

"How… long have you had these feelings for me?" And finally, taking a courageous breath, Anna stared straight at her. Never had she seen such heartbroken eyes in front of her.

And Meg just looked away, a hand clasping her shirt back together. "For too long. Ever since you divorced Elsa… you were just never yourself. I _buried_ these feelings because I know I could never be as good as her - and you will never stop fighting to take her back. How could you have known? How could I ever fight for you?"

God, Anna didn't know what to say. Hearing this was heart-wrenching enough, and yet… Anna continued to listen like she was some sort of therapist. Instead, she was the one that was in need of a fucking therapist. How could she be so dense to not know Meg's intentions? This was… wrong. So wrong. She wished she could just run, but her feet was stuck in place like glue. "So back there… when we kissed… when I let you take me home, you knew exactly what you were doing."

"I did, and I know I am in the wrong." Her expression darkened. "You have every right to blame me for being cruel… but I only wanted you to see a little glimpse of happiness. Anna, I -"

"No, just… don't say it. I don't want you to say those words." Anna backed up. She was… confused and angry - but not at her anymore, no - just herself. She was so desperate for happiness that this was the end result of temporary happiness. Anna quickly wiped her tears and placed her arms across her chest, eyes searching everywhere but Meg. Her mouth opened and closed but of course, there was just no words. "I love my son very much - I'd do anything for him. I love my ex-wife and I know she can be so stubborn sometimes… but you… I didn't expect this from you. I have a _family_ , Meg." She sniffled, shaking her head. "And I know you were trying to break me from that stupid bond I have with Elsa… but you know I can never give up."

Meg let out a shaky sigh and tried one more time to step closer. Which this time… Anna didn't move back any further. "Did you remember what you told me back there…?"

"What?" Anna was genuinely curious.

"When we were doing what we were doing, you told me how you wished you weren't yourself. How you wanted to _not_ love Elsa but you still do. Do you know how that made me feel? I wanted to get out of that room because I knew you pictured me as her - you wanted to use me to fill that void - and I let you because I wanted to grant you happiness. We were drunk but I couldn't even tell the difference between this and how you acted when you were normal."

Anna said nothing. If that was all true… the guilt she had, had grown even larger - not just for Elsa, but for Meg as well. She used her… and Meg did the same. What, they were even now? Calling it a truce? This wasn't how it was going to work. This certainly didn't relieve her.

"Anna…" She picked her head up. When had Meg gotten so close? A hand firmly squeezed the woman's arm, and she let it. "It's really time that you move on… or try to. Doesn't Elsa want that too?"

It didn't matter what Elsa wanted, it was what her heart wanted… and even her heart didn't know what it desired anymore. Still, in the back of her head, Elsa was just clawing at her like a tiger.

"I just…" She didn't know what to say. "I need to think."

"I know." Her hand slowly slid off her arm. Her eyes were exactly how Anna imagined it to be - dark brown with hurt and guilt. "I'll let you think about this. Whatever _this_ is." And then, there was acceptance. The tight smile that Meg had as she tried to leave wasn't what Anna wanted though. This bitter note just continued to leave a bitter taste in Anna's mouth, and suddenly, she grabbed Meg's wrist.

She didn't know why. The shock in her brown eyes didn't give her an answer either. But she tightened the grip, eyeing her hand.

"Anna…"

"I just… want you to know whatever this is, it isn't bad. Don't get me wrong, I… I'm just confused. Give me some time." Every single word clung onto Anna's throat, and it wasn't easy letting it out. She didn't want to give Meg any hope - and she didn't expect the woman to understand her heart yet. But at least Meg knew to wait.

Meg smiled quite tenderly and her eyes grew soft. "On Saturday there's a little festival a few blocks from here. It'll be fun."

"Yeah, I -"

"I'll wait for you."


	16. Chapter 16: Will She

_a/n: first section would be just a year as Anna and Elsa started dating - just to clarify :)_

* * *

 _I got knots all up in my chest  
Just know, I'm trying my best  
'Cause when you look…_

The cold night didn't feel so horrible with the city lights streaming through the open window - even if its wind bit their skin - and the dim light that the little lamp provided for the living room wasn't doing any justice. The little slit opened from the window in Elsa's apartment provided little air. The only sound they could hear were the sound of their own pumping heart, the echoing of cars running down the streets, and the words that sang with a beautiful slow melody. Ah, this was their paradise - their own world where nothing but their love existed.

That was okay - they were more than happy to feel this warmth of their dim light… to feel the warmth of their own body and their own loving hands searching for an escape. Searching for nothing but the night to bring them pleasure.

It was Elsa's first birthday they were celebrating together, after all. They were so young… so desperate for love. For each other.

And in her living room, Anna sat on her girlfriend's lap, her hips dancing so beautifully, so sensually, her hands searching her own body with such tease, that she could see it in Elsa's eyes that she wanted to just strip her down.

Softly, Anna sighed with breath chained with lust… eyes wandering close, as she let Elsa hold onto her thin waist, her lips grazing at nothing but Anna's soft, hot skin of her neck. Ah, she deserved all of this… for her birthday, Elsa deserved at least one thing - and it was Anna.

 _Will your tongue still remember the taste of my lips?_

" _Will your shadow remember the swing of my hips…?"_ Anna sang with a voice that only both of them could hear, and she allowed her gorgeous woman strip her top. Button by button, revealing every inch of her sun-kissed skin. Oh, Anna was willing to wait… willing to let Elsa play her like an instrument. She gazed, blank eyes showing nothing but all her love for Elsa, intrigued. Her auburn hair had fallen down the small of her back, where fingers brushed every little dotted imperfection with such perfection.

And the blue eyes that met with hers when Elsa kissed her chest, her warm breath sighing her hot skin, was filled with nothing but want. And there was that smile… that wicked, wicked grin that Anna had fallen in love with.

 _'Cause I don't need to know  
I just wanna make sure you're okay_

She mirrored the way Elsa paid attention to her, her head tilted. Cold fingers danced along Anna's freckles on her cheeks, flushed with alcohol and wonderful perfumes of love and lust And all Anna saw… was the unspoken desire seen in Elsa's beautiful face.

"Elsa…" she mouthed, and the rest of her words - her breath - had drowned in the soft graze of Elsa's lips brushing on hers. The slight blueness shown in Elsa's hooded eyes pushed the woman to want _more_.

 _I don't need to know_

 _I just wanna make sure you're all safe_

Her arms fell around Elsa's shoulders, her hips continuing to seduce Elsa's body to take her… to love her. She didn't move. Anna was letting her girlfriend take her time to feel her, to strip her with her very eyes… letting the night continue on with no care in the world, and they wished it had frozen in time. Like nobody, but them lived in this city. Oh, they were living, alright…

" _I love you…"_ Ah, the single three words whispered on her lips, where… they tasted nothing but her gentle kiss and love, sent shivers down her body. " _I love every last bit of you, my beautiful."_

Anna smiled, feeling fingers gently circling her wrist… another holding her chin. Her head tilted in curiosity, her hair covering her eyes just so Elsa could brush it back again. She didn't need to see Elsa to know they needed each other now - how much Elsa wanted to serve her temple of a body. But she gazed into her eyes, desire drowning in her colors. Oh, how could she not? They were so close… and Anna could see every little gently kissed freckles on her cheeks.

 _Will he treat you like shit just the way that I did?_

 _I don't blame you…_

"If you love me so much…" Anna stuck her tongue out to taste her lips. Ah, cherry… "Would it be enough to keep me forever?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way, beautiful." Elsa's words kissed her skin, her lips… her heated ears, and it only left Anna completely smitten.

Teal eyes glistened like it had been burned by the light - by Elsa's light. " _Would you… let me put you in my safe arms...?"_

"I wouldn't have that any other way either…"

Anna giggled as she found herself getting turned over on the couch, and only humming in such satisfaction when she felt warm lips on her own, and a wonderfully cold hand searching her body with desperation. With pleasure. Oh… with such undeniable need for _her._

"Then I'm yours…"

* * *

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

Tick -

"Anna!"

"S-Shit!" Anna jolted up from her office chair, completely startled at the sudden voice. She was in the damn zone, for god's sake, and she just wanted to be left there. She sighed, looking around her table before she rolled her chair around to see Kristoff standing beside her with two hot coffees in his hand. "You made me drop my pen…"

He handed her her drink, while sipping his. "Then I will atone to my sins by giving you coffee. Here."

"Thanks."

For a moment, Kristoff just observed her from behind, prompting a curious look. "By the way, I've been watching you stare at the wall and twirling your pen in your fingers for like… forever."

Forever? She scoffed, and picked up her pen, and turned back to her desk and computer.

For once, Anna wished time would pass by slower while she was still at work. It was the weekends, yet there were some things that… she wasn't looking forward to thinking. Or doing later tonight, and she wasn't sure what she wanted to do. These days… her heart loved to fool around.

Certainly, there were also things that Anna wished she wouldn't have said to a certain person. Well, two certain people.

God, she swore this whole week had been a twilight zone for her.

Taking a sip of her coffee, she heard Kristoff taking a chair and sitting closely beside her. They had always been buddies at work, but when she wanted to be left alone, she should be left alone. Kristoff was just not the person to agree with that statement.

Her eyes wandered at the computer screen - still on an excel spreadsheet. In the background, phones were ringing, people were talking, printers were printing, and interns… were getting coffee. Except, Kristoff was not an intern. God, she wished she didn't have to work in an office - even if it paid well.

"Kristoff, you're just standing here."

"It's lunch break, for Christ sake. Grab lunch!" Kristoff blurted.

" _You_ buy me lunch."

"I already got you coffee!"

Anna sighed, scratching her hair with both hands, moaning in frustration. "God damn it, what do you want?!" Oh. She didn't mean to be so grumpy. The whole day she had been debating a lot of things - she didn't even get the chance to talk to Elsa, who… of course, was doing her own thing with Olaf. Obviously, she had her daily routine of taking Olaf back home but… well, that was the norm now. Though, it wasn't like she would be looking forward to talking to Elsa anyway.

And then, there was Meg. A woman who chose the wrong way to give her happiness. A woman who was blinded by her own love for Anna. A woman who… Anna would love to see in Elsa. The honesty, the sincereness, how Meg who wasn't even hateful towards the two, were all Anna would ever wish for in her ex-wife.

Her eyes were dazed at the thought and her own want. She should be disgusted, horrified, but all she felt… was want. Her heart tightened like that woman had been playing with it in her fingers. Which… if that was the case, Anna wouldn't mind. Two women had been playing with her and only one… _cared._

"Whoa… you're a badass today. What's going on?" He furrowed his brows. Anna was quite relieved he would be serious sometimes too. He rubbed his hand up and down on Anna's arm when she sighed, dropping her head low. "Hey, you okay?"

"No, I -" She stared at her open palms. God, if only someone would hold her there too. She always loved Elsa's skin when she brushed it with her thumb. But even imagining it… was quite sad, so she didn't. "I'm fine. It's nothing, don't worry about it -"

"Are you thinking about her again?"

Anna wasn't sure which 'her' he was referring to, but it kept her eyes up to his. She shook her head, guilty gaze wandering off like it was scared of the care that was in Kristoff's eyes. "No… not at all." She chuckled. The disbelief that she had played with in her heart was beginning to shine in the light of her eyes and the embarrassed flush on her cheeks. But who was she embarrassed for? Herself? For making her own decisions - no matter how stupid and reckless?

Desperation had washed in her with hurt and guilt for her ex-wife, and Anna wished desperation would only bring… _them_ happiness. But it was only for Anna. Only for her selfish self. She couldn't deny she wanted it all though.

Kristoff's attentive eyes put on a weight on her that it was unbearable - like it would total her heart. Would hurt her head. Her throat bobbed - and the words that she wanted to say was forced back down.

"Really? Not her, huh?"

Anna nodded. Such a sweet soft spoken voice, yet… Anna wondered if she was deserving of it. A game of constant reminder of what she was deserving or not… quickly became lost in her wandering thoughts.

She knew Kristoff cared very much about her - in his weird way, of course. Anna expected nothing more of him.

"Hey, I'm your friend. You can tell me anything. It's not like I'll be going around gossiping with these idiots in the office." He rolled his eyes. At least, Anna smiled.

"Weselton…?"

"Gee, yeah, I'll _totally_ talk to the boss and hear him take a conversation out of tangent and make it about chicken." He paused, eyes widening at his own mistake, that even Anna didn't dare dwell into. "Okay, let's _not_ … insult him."

"Well, it's not like there aren't secret places where he can eavesdrop us."

"Exactly." He rolled his chair closer. "So, let's have a little chat while drinking coffee? What are you thinking about?"

 _Should I even tell him?_ There was no point in debating this now that Kristoff already knew she was thinking of something. He definitely wasn't one for cowering away from a problem. Especially, Anna's.

She took a deep breath as her thoughts had already put a huge burden on her shoulders. "Elsa doesn't know… well, I don't know, if she does. I… I slept with someone." Oh, that just sounded weird - and because it was.

As expected, Kristoff didn't say anything. He merely blinked, raised his eyebrows, and nearly spit out his sip of coffee. "You… did? Congrats!"

 _Damn it._ "No! It's not -" Anna groaned, putting her head in her hands. "God, Kristoff… I fucked up. I don't know how I feel. Meg… she asked if I wanted to come to the festival today after work -"

"Wait, Meg?" Ah, Anna never did mention her name. She tensed like a rock, sensing nothing but shock from his tone of voice. "The… teacher -"

"Yes! The teacher!" A series of 'shushes' followed, and Anna looked around before placing a finger against her lips. "I _slept_ with Olaf's teacher."

"Oh, well, that - wow," he chuckled awkwardly, looking away, like he didn't want to be a part of this conversation anymore, "that _really_ complicates everything. You guys - I mean, you two have been friends with her for… how long?"

"Two years. Yeah, I know." She rolled her eyes, propping her elbow on her desk. "I don't want to tell her. Elsa's… done enough."  
Kristoff scoffed, disbelieved. "What has she even done?" He sighed, but Anna knew he was right. All Elsa had ever done was avoid her, treat her no less than trash… yet, she still loved that blonde to death? Really? She looked away, appalled and shameful. "So, you fucked her. And?" _He doesn't seem to get it._

" _And_ Meg wants me to decide whether or not I have gotten over Elsa by asking me to go to a festival."

"Are you gonna go to the festival?"

Anna shrugged. "I don't know. I-I… should I?"

"It's _your_ decision. But if I was in this situation, I'd go. See what happens. It helps to confirm how you truly feel, Anna."

The intensity of her heart pumping made her feel like she was still back in high school. Her fingers tingled, and her mind was jumbling through all the images she'd see with Meg. How Meg would just… hold her in comfort. How Meg would listen to her through all the problems that she had faced. Maybe Anna yearned this a bit too much - but what and who else was she going to yearn?

She gazed down in contemplation to her hand. If she really was considering this - not at all being frustrated just by thinking about it anymore - perhaps… she'd truly moved on. "Kristoff… am I okay?"

He was a bit taken aback. "O-Of course you are. God, you're looking for an out. If this is your out… I want you to go for it."

"I love Elsa -"

"And I know she loves you too, and so does your son. I don't want you regretting anything alright?"

* * *

The heavy heart that Elsa felt while she took Olaf upstairs to his classroom that morning was becoming even heavier with each dragging steps she made. When she didn't have the strength to hold Olaf's hand, the boy gave her strength with his smile. His very… innocent, naive smile. But deep down, Elsa knew he wasn't naive. He'd always said he only wanted to make his mothers happy and proud. They were proud - Elsa, especially - and perhaps… he was pretending to smile for them. Her heart ached, even when she realized how cold it was.

"Mom, aren't you going now?" They'd arrived at the hallway of his floor.

Elsa shook her head and swiped his hair back. "No, I need to speak to Ms. Johnson."

He gasped in horror. "Is it… is it about me? I do good!"

"No, it's not you, and you did _well_." She paused, humming in contemplation. "I should cut your hair tonight…"

Olaf pouted, laying his small hand on top of his head. "But I like it this way!"

"We'll see. Come now, we don't want to be late."

She wasn't thinking straight - but one thing was clear… she needed to talk to _her._ Deep down, Elsa couldn't be sure of how she felt about Meg's… strange relationship with Anna. Sure, they weren't as close - but she'd hate to see Anna being taken an advantage of. No matter how hypocritical she was… Elsa still cared.

"Good morning, Ms. Johnson!" Olaf yelled as they just entered the doorway. Elsa allowed him to let go of her hand and come to hug the woman.

"Oof, Olaf, good morning to you too. You're cheerful today."

"Heh." The two women caught eye contacts. "Cuz it's Friday. And we have gym today!"

"I see." She ran her fingers through his hair. "Alright, go on and put your bag in your box. Silent reading until class starts okay? Is that clear, kids?!" She clapped her hands once, followed by double claps by her students.

"Yes, Ms. Johnson!"

"Good, go on, Olaf. Unpack."

Olaf quickly scurried to put his stuff down and get to his desk, where many of his classmates already had books in their hands.

Now was the time. Elsa knew she shouldn't disturb the kids, so she stood out in the hall, knowing Meg seemed to have sensed they needed to talk too. Meg quickly came out of the room, closing the door behind.

"I got a feeling you wanted to talk."

Elsa nodded, her arms crossed. She leaned against the wall. "Is Olaf doing his work?"

"Yeah. He's a great kid. I might even say, he's one of my best." That was a relief, but this wasn't what she wanted to talk about.

She'd known that Meg could read a situation very clearly so Elsa expected nothing less of her. The silence was tense, and just… looking at how Meg's expression twist confirmed exactly what she thought. But it wasn't nervousness that Meg showed. Was it determination? She raised an eyebrow.

"There's… something else you want to say." Meg mirrored her expression.

There was no easy way to say this, and Elsa found herself being trapped in her own very corner. "I know Anna can be… difficult sometimes. You two have always been great friends - I don't doubt she talks about us all the time right?"

Meg bobbed her head silently. "You're right, she does."

"Be honest with me… you have always felt _that way_ for her, don't you?" In her heart, Elsa didn't want to hear the truth.

But Meg answered, "I have. But I could never tell her that. Tell _you_ that." Ah, perhaps, Meg was being too honest.

Elsa wrung her hand around her own wrist, her expression twisting. "She's a great mother. A great friend. I could _never_ have anyone else better." She looked away. "And if… she ever found someone that she enjoys being with, I would always wish her well. I want to make sure she doesn't get hurt." Perhaps, it was her now that was uncertain. Afraid? Even that.

She almost thought she saw Meg twitch, but her body tensing and it looked like she was trying to tower over her. At least, now, there was no denying a part of Meg adored Anna. Elsa could see it in her eyes, the soft glistening… and how determined they look. Elsa nearly wanted to throw up. But she was serious when she said those words. If Anna ever got hurt because of someone else, Elsa would never forgive herself.

"Elsa, you don't -"

"I know you don't mean it. I know… _things_ happen." She nodded, trying to be the bigger person. Trying to act rational. On the inside, her heart raged with fiery and perhaps… jealousy? She couldn't be. If she were… she wouldn't be talking right now. "I'm glad you were with her when she was at her worst times. I have always wanted what's best for her, and she seems to know that you are her best. Treat her well, Meg."

Silence. But it was a silence that Elsa knew acceptance had been woven in it. She had expected Meg to look guilty - but there was not even a hint of it. But that's alright. She had recognized… Meg's strength and her unwavering bravery. She was not easily faltered by Elsa.

Smiling silently and tightly, Elsa was just about to go -

"I wanted to be her comfort."

She paused, but she didn't turn. She didn't want to see how Meg eyed her. She didn't need the disappointment that poisoned the air, and Elsa just gazed down on the floor. Her stoic face showed no remorse, and nothing that Elsa could say… would perhaps sway Meg from keeping her hands to herself. Elsa's body tensed.

She smiled a little, bitter. "You achieved that, at least -"

"Even after that night, she thinks about you, Elsa. She's so… _stuck on you_ …" Meg sighed. "I want her to move on as much you do - and I know you only wanted to say this because you care about -"

"I do." Elsa turned abruptly, her eyes flared with hurt. She gritted her teeth, holding herself from crying. They had had enough. "I care about her… because I don't want another person like me to hurt her - another person that would be selfish."

Tears coated her pupils, but none could fall… and she wished, oh, her heart didn't ache like how it was right there and then. She didn't like how she remembered it would hurt when she told Anna they would always stick together years ago.

"Did you know? That evening… did you know how much she cried for you? Because of you?" Meg squinted. "If I wanted to treat her like shit… I wouldn't be standing right here. You already know, Elsa. You're smart, intuitive… and I could never be the woman that Anna wants me to be - I could never be _you_ … but no matter what, even if you're not here for her, I'll be there."

Elsa took a deep breath, her eyes growing colder than the winter where their marriage had crashed. She didn't say anything, watching every painful word slip out of Meg's mouth… because at one point, she knew Meg was right. Her senses were sharp, so she couldn't deny that Meg had always been a wonderful friend to them both. Perhaps… a wonderful girlfriend to Anna.

Elsa just breathed - the only breath that she could let out to show her very last will to let Anna go. To show… she had a heart for her ex-wife. At least, at one point, she did. "I just want to make sure she's all safe."

"She is. She always will be."

* * *

Her heart was aching, almost unbearably. The festival was stretching three blocks, and Anna just sat in her car… staring at all the happenings around her. In front of her, there were police barricades blocking any cars from going past. Kids were running around - there were street food… plenty of entertainment.

The pink evening was quickly going to grow dark as she continued to sit there. The stars were sparkling and danced through the floating clouds. And the wind was nothing but soothing to her heavy thoughts that swam in her mind. She pondered to herself, eyeing all the lights that were in front of her parked car.

She rubbed her fingers against her head, breathing in deeply. There was just… a lot of confusion in her head, but she kept what Kristoff had said in her mind. Meg was waiting for her out there - but why? Anna didn't have to go, yet… a part of her tugged on her aching heart - and was it guilt that she was feeling? - so she dragged herself out here. And more she thought about this… about Meg, the more her heart felt tortured.

"Calm down…" she whispered, a hand clenching on her chest area of her shirt.

 _What am I doing?_

All this time of wishing Elsa back, and being with her and their son no matter what - was it not enough? The desperation to find someone's body on her… to find someone's heart to take her own in… was it that overwhelming? But she couldn't deny it. This reality she was living in… neither could she make sense of it.

She sighed, shutting her eyes. And if she continued to shut her eyes… all she'd see were the brunette's bare back… and how her muscles were so… define. How she could taste the sweetness of her lips. How her own fingers ran down the small of her back -

Anna immediately opened her eyes. How could she picture that? How could she… _want_ that?

 _Don't cry, don't cry…_ She wanted to picture Elsa. She wanted to picture every little part of her but...

 _I JUST CAN'T._

She was a mess. She was fucked up.

And perhaps, that confirmed it - everything from her own mind to her heart… didn't belong to Elsa anymore. That was her leave now.

So slowly, she got out of the car and went into the crowd of people. Her eyes searched - shoulders bumping into each other - and Anna just wished if she had met someone's eyes… it wouldn't be Meg's, but the only two blue eyes that once loved her.

Though, another part wished it would be Elsa, she'd be looking at. Her words in her mind were drowned in music and people chatting, her own feet dragged through the concrete ground, her own fingers running through her loose hair. The light that swam above her head burned, but less so than her heart. She felt a messed up compass, not knowing where to go. Not knowing what her own heart wanted -

And she saw her. Her steps halted, and eyed the girl… with nothing but pure emptiness.

Her brown hair was down, and she wore nothing but a simple dress, her fingers holding a hand purse.

Her mind had washed out any worrying thoughts. Even if Meg didn't look at her - Anna found… something beautiful in her. But to her heart, it was all so ugly. What they did - sleeping together - felt wrong, and right now, Anna continued to debate whether or not her feelings was just that as well. _I'll just have to find out…_

She gulped and walked towards her. She tapped on Meg's shoulder. "You're just going to stand here?"

The quick turn of Meg's head almost surprised Anna - but the only surprise she got was the look in Meg's eyes. How shocked she looked. "You… came?"

Anna didn't hold down her little grin, her hand scratching the back of her neck. There was a slight uncertainty still in her heart. "How could I make someone wait for me if I didn't come?"

"Anna…"

"Don't get me wrong," her expression softened, "I… I just want something that… I don't -" She didn't know what to say - of course, coming unprepared was one of Anna's wonderful quirks. _Deep breaths…_ " - I don't know what it is, but I couldn't stop thinking about it." _About you._ "I… I'm so tired of being alone, and you were the only person -"

"Don't say it." Meg offered her a hand. "Come on, there's a little section I wanted to bring you to. Stars and all. We don't have to talk."

 _What is this…? What the hell am I doing?_ Oh, she could keep asking herself that but she'd never find an answer. Love? Love wasn't an answer.

Anna just stared at the hand, like she was resisting being lured in. Resisting the love, the heated glow… _everything_ , that was in front of her. But she took it. She placed her hand on top of Meg's warm open palm, and she let those tender fingers grasp her. Oh, and it felt amazing. Her heart nearly shattered at just a single touch - and she must have gone crazy for enjoying a simple hold of someone's fingers.

Anna smiled, gazing down. Ah, those eyes… she'd be afraid to stare at Meg. She didn't deserve it.

"See? It's not so scary to touch me." Meg nearly prompted her to laugh. "Come on, let's just go where you want to go."

* * *

 _a/n: ah... and a thousand fragile hearts break_


	17. Chapter 17

a/n: i just wanna say, last chapter's responses were AMAZING. well, just like every other chapters, as well! and for the guest who left those very long reviews for me, thank you so much. you really understood these characters - especially, Meg! the one person who i honestly thought people would be hating, but there seems to be a lot of love for her. i agree, her intentions are good... just the way she tries to bring that out... not so good. anyway, thank you everyone!

* * *

That evening was supposed to be fun. Anna was going to learn about how she felt, she was going to learn about Meg, most of all. Yet, she still couldn't figure it out.

No, the evening _was_ fun - or, at least, they tried to make it that way without the trouble of discussing… whatever they needed to discuss. Avoidance. Yes… Anna had been playing a game of avoidance, of hurt, of her fear of loving someone else, for a long time. Was it inescapable now? Now that she was spending her time with someone else?

"Anna, look!"

 _Probably._ The woman didn't even get to react when Meg dragged her by the wrist to a booth with little buckets of water balloons and moving plastic fishes behind it. Anna raised an eyebrow as she quietly watched Meg pay five dollars and turn back to her.

"Want to see me try getting you a goldfish?"

Anna scoffed, crossing her arms. "Am I a child?"

The cherry-haired woman winked before picking up a yellow water balloon. "With you sulking like that, you might as well be."

She huffed. _Rude._

"And here we go -" The water balloon missed by a few centimeters, and after splattered everywhere. "Second times the charm." It missed again. "Aw, come on!"

"Three more tries."

Meg playfully glared at the redhead, and Anna slowly came up next to her. For a moment, Anna felt more than comfortable with her presence. It was warm - perhaps, it was the weather… but how did it explain the little skips of her heartbeat? Those perfect brown eyes staring back at her… no, she didn't deserve it, and she didn't deserve to smile at such angelic expression, but Meg smiled anyway. _Why am I this selfish?_

"Well, I'd like to see you try, missy." The woman offered her a balloon.

Slightly hesitant, Anna took the balloon and stood where Meg had stood. "You know, you just gotta get the timing right." She smirked, watching the next little plastic cartoon fish swim closer in front of her, and -

 _Splat._

Turning around, Anna immediately puffed her chest and raised her eyebrows up. The sense of pride she felt when she noticed Meg's roll of her eyes… well, it was indescribable. Honestly, she hadn't had that much fun in a while - not with anybody else, of course.

In truth, if Meg wasn't here… Anna would still be at home moping around - drinking, and wondering… what she had done wrong for her family. No, she didn't do anything wrong… at least, that was what she thought. She had always wanted what's best for them, for her wife. And her best probably wasn't Elsa's best.

"See?" Anna nodded at the booth.

"Yeah, yeah, gamer girl." Meg nodded at the owner who gave her a plastic box filled with water and a beautiful goldfish. "Congrats, you earned this."

Anna did nothing but stare, intrigued… yet, well, this feeling inside... she felt pity. But it couldn't be when she knew Meg had these feelings for her. And, perhaps, she couldn't differentiate pity with love anymore.

Slowly, unbeknownst to herself, she took the gift with a smile. That should be polite. "Thanks."

"You know… I thought if I'd come here to see you, I thought I could at least take your mind off Elsa."

"What?" Anna blinked. Had she been staring at the ground this whole time? But for what? Shame? These past eight years had been shameful. Embarrassing. She winced to herself, unable to shake Meg's pitiful eyes away, and neither could she stop looking when she did. "I'm not…"

Meg placed a hand on her hip. "Yeah, you can say you're not thinking about her this entire time, but that face right there," she flicked a finger against Anna's forehead, "says otherwise, and I trust that better than your words, silly."

 _Can't deny it now, can you, Anna?_ She rubbed a hand against her forehead, and for the first time, she was pouting at Meg. Not a day went by that Anna had ever disagreed with Meg - and perhaps, that night that they had spent together… well, Anna certainly didn't say no. And she wished sometimes… Meg would say something more than just wrong… so that Anna wouldn't see her as such perfection. _Flawed perfection, if that even exists._

"Sorry…" Anna mumbled.

Instead of roaring back as Anna would have expected, Meg's expression softened and she grabbed the woman's wrist. "I know I should give you some slack. It's been hard, right?"

 _Ouch._ She could barely breathe, and those words hit her chest like bricks. How could one question… one soft voice hurt so much? But… Meg understood her? She understood her every thought, and nobody had never understood her without Anna explaining how she felt.

Instead of crying like a normal person would, Anna just sighed in defeat, her head dropped low. Being with a woman that understood how she felt, had the heart to listen to her, to endure her… comforted her. And that comfort was strange, unfamiliar… and somehow, it hurt?

 _But It shouldn't hurt so much…_ And perhaps, she was hiding from this pain of their marriage for so long, she had forgotten what pain felt like.

She took a deep breath and shook her head. _I've burdened her enough._ "Hard, yeah… but… nothing I haven't dealt with, you know?"

Meg chuckled, but deep down, Anna knew that woman realized it wasn't true at all. "Come on, tonight's a beautiful night. I want to show you something."

Anna didn't say another word, having allowed being dragged by Meg to wherever they were going. Anything… just _anything_ and being _anywhere_ would do good to make Anna feel better. To make sure she forget all the heartache she had been burying inside her for so long.

And when Meg's hand slipped down to her own… she was reminded of how Elsa used to hold her like this. With such warmth. With such gentleness. Her own breath had been taken away, and for once, she wished it wouldn't be this way - that she wouldn't _feel_ such a way. _This isn't the woman… this isn't her._

But somehow, she returned the grasp. She needed this. She wanted this. _And I have a family -_

"Isn't this beautiful?"

Anna blinked, and her daze was immediately broken by the city's light down below the grassy hill where they stood. Her eyes widened, and it almost seemed way too gorgeous.

The light that glistened through the streets danced beautifully the evening, and the low echo of the festival - where the crowd was enjoying all these fun little activities - and traffic continued to sound. The infinitely blanket of stars above, accompanied by a beautiful moon, spanned through the sky. The spring, gentle wind riding in the sky caressed Anna's face but the only thing she felt was the warmth of Meg's hand holding hers. Tugging her down gently. The rustling of leaves upon the trees was music to Anna's ears, and nothing could provide her heart more rest than that. The deep breath she took was filled with wonderful grassy scent was almost drugs to her, and it calmed her… it soothed her heart.

"Sit."

Anna turned to the gentle voice urging her with one word. And though the sky was dark, she could clearly see the light in Meg's eyes. So she sat. Just like her eyes… Meg's voice was also hypnotizing Anna.

The brunette took a deep breath, stretching her legs out and planting both hands on the grass. "You know… this isn't so bad." Her eyes were watching all the stars that gleamed in the sky, and those that were riding down the streets. The soft muffle of happy giggles and voices from other people didn't sound as good as hearing those couple of words. _Ah, this really is peaceful._

She felt content, having to just sit here and watch the beauty of the city surrounding her. Anna gazed down at her hands, her two fingers playing with the ring on her left hand. For some reason… the light reflected on the ring glistened less. It _felt_ less, even.

"It's beautiful…" Anna mumbled. Even her voice sounded weak and distracted.

"I wanted to bring you here because it's always lifted my heart from any heavy thoughts and feelings. I wish it'd do the same for you."

"I know what you're trying to do, Meg -"

"I wanted to make things easier for you."

 _How?_ She realized Meg was watching her, but if she had one ounce of care in the world, Anna would have looked at her. She didn't. Meg could look at her strangely all she wanted. For a moment, Anna didn't say anything. It was hard to… argue. She continued to twirl the ring around to ease her own heart. Was it helping? Not at all… but, perhaps, because it was the only thing she was familiar with. It was the only thing that gave her fond memories.

"I'm sorry."

Anna shifted. "About what?"

"That night. I… was only thinking about myself. That it was the right thing to do to make you forget… and I've only made things worse."

Worse, no. Anna just felt guilt and shame, and there was not a thing she could do about it now. She knew Meg had good intentions - ones that she didn't need. She didn't even think of needing. And even when Meg apologized… it wasn't going to change anything. She'd be lucky if it'd change Elsa. She shook her head. "It's… not your fault. I should've stopped when I had the chance."

Meg smiled, sighing through this dreaded silence. "Remember when I first saw you two when Olaf started school?"

At that, Anna finally picked her head up to give her all her undivided attention. Those brown eyes… were still staring at the ring, and finally, they were lost into space and fond memories.

"Yeah," Anna replied softly.

"I remember Elsa was trying to get all the applications done in the office… and you were just sitting in there with Olaf trying to control him from running around. He didn't like being there, but I noticed you had eased his mind pretty quickly. I was going to jump into action when I finished printing out assignments, but… seeing that gave me a relief. You had always been a very patient parent. In a blink of an eye… all three of you changed a lot." Meg took a deep breath of the fresh air, and her gazes began to wander in the sky. "You two were so in love - I could almost say I was jealous. Of that love, I mean. And I thought I could never fall in love with anyone, but I never expected I'd fall in love with you. Nobody would have guessed it, not even myself."

Anna had a million words to say, but she couldn't. Anything she'd say right now… would just hurt them both, and she knew… she didn't want to hurt another girl. And looking at Meg… the beauty of her just haunted Anna. How am I supposed to even react? "Why do you love me?" The only question that had been on her mind for so long, and this was just the perfect moment to ask.

And Meg only chuckled and shrugged. "I don't know. Why is the sky blue? It's one of those questions not everyone can answer. It's fine though… I'm only here to let you decide what you want."

"What _do_ I want?" She knew Meg couldn't answer that. She watched the woman gaze at her, her face growing soft.

"Love?" Ah. "Someone… you need _someone._ "

"No," Anna shook her head, "I just… I need Elsa." _Back at it again?_

Oddly - but, perhaps, it was more than fitting -, Meg winced. "It's almost been a year since the divorce right?"

Anna nodded.

"Olaf is going to second grade… and I won't see him for a very long time unless things switch up in school."

"What's your point?" Anna nearly hissed at her, and when she realized Meg could hear the anger in her voice… she did nothing but divert her gaze. The woman was trying to help her… and all she wanted to do was snap at her. And for what? She never… expected such a gentle smile though.

"I guess, I want you to have your own freedom. Clear your mind, and just… live for yourself without someone trying to intrude." _What does she even mean?_ She didn't need to know when she felt a hand placed on top of her own. Teal eyes fell to the gripping hand. And it was almost… everything that she wanted. She tried her best to get away from that but… oh, she yearned for this for so long. How was she going to let go of that now? _I'm exhausted._ And too exhausted to run from this reality.

Before she could even consider giving her an answer, her phone rang with a text message. The only person who could make her freeze when she looked at the screen was Elsa. Two missed calls. One "Are you out? Be safe"... and Anna just stared in contemplation. Her fingers squeezed tightly on the small technology, feeling the other one squeezed her free hand…

She gulped. Perhaps… Meg was right. It'd been too long since she had ever gotten out of her little circle of misery. It had been too long since someone actually listened to her… give her advice… put her first. Anna bit her lip, and for the moment she had been staring at the message, she felt sick to the stomach.

This feeling she had, sitting next to Meg - this feeling of when she pictured her lovely body on her own… she liked it. She adored it too much. And she just… needed to give in.

 _I can't._ She immediately shut the phone off and put it back in her pocket.

Meg nodded at the phone. "You're not going to answer that?"

Anna gazed out into the streets, shaking her head. The lights danced in the reflection of her eyes. "No."

"Why not?"

"I just…" _How should I say it?_ She wrung her fingers together. "I'm spending time with you."

Silence. And instead of Meg having to stare at her with confusion as she would have expected… the woman just looked away. Her hand was taken off Anna's.

She quickly realized how desperate she was becoming. This person that was giving her love? She hadn't felt that in a long time. Her heart had been blackened with misery and doubt… and she just didn't know how to react with Meg anymore. Perhaps… neither did the brunette.

"Anna, do you know what I _want_?" _No… no, please don't -_

The redhead was immediately grimacing. She knew. She knew what Meg wanted, and a part of Anna realized she felt the same way. Her fingers clenched together, sensing a looming, anticipating gaze… one that was so soft. So patient. But Anna didn't want to look. It just wasn't worth it - perhaps, too worthy for her.

And suddenly, Meg was chuckling. "That's fine, you don't have to answer that now." _Thank God._ "How did you meet Elsa?"

"What?"

She gazed up at the sky. "Just tell me."

It was an odd question. But if it would make her - _them_ feel better, she'd say it. Right now, even she realized the guilt Meg was feeling… and yet, she was bold enough to drag her out here. She was bold enough… to fuck Anna.

The redhead breathed out a slow breath, waiting for the breeze to stop before she answered. "I was still a college student when I met her. I was a junior, and she just got out of college too. Back then…" Her eyes dropped to her feet. "I was immature. I noticed her in a club, sitting by herself, drinking. I couldn't stop looking at her while I was with my friends. I thought, 'how could such a beautiful woman sit here all by herself in a bar?' I really just… didn't think much of it, until I got dared to go talk to her." She chuckled. "I mean, it was never a big deal. I wanted to go up to her anyway. But It really was so obvious that I fell in love at first sight… it wasn't then, I had no idea what I was doing then. But looking back, it was the most obvious thing in the world. I was probably the last person to realize it had happened. She probably realized it earlier than me… Elsa has always been intuitive anyway. And we were so in love -" _Were._ Anna twitched, but she continued, "... so in love that not even two years passed, and we both got married. I didn't even finish college then, that's the funny part -"

She suddenly felt a small thud on her shoulder, and she looked over to see the woman next to her with eyelids closed, her head laid on her shoulder… and there was a slight flush on her cheeks. _Fast asleep already?_

Anna bit her lip, but she didn't dare move her head away. Or did she just not want to? But that was fine. The smile she had while she spoke so fondly of their past... quickly made her realize Elsa would never come back. Elsa would never be the woman she had met during that day in the club. _When have we become so bitter_?

No matter how much Anna loved her, no matter how much she wanted to cling to those memories of their happiness together, it wouldn't help bring her back.

She stared at the ring on her finger - the only ring that she had kept to herself for almost eight years. Twirling it around, Anna couldn't help but realize how dull its shine looked. _Things… will never be the same._

And Meg was right. What use was there to hold on to something that wouldn't return what she needed? What use was there to wish for a little glimpse of light every day? She frowned in contemplation. _What am I doing?_

And without another slight bit of hesitation, she slipped the ring off. For a moment, she wanted to throw it away in the streets. The only reminder of their painful marriage was this ring… and she just couldn't bear it anymore. Though, no matter how much she tried to throw it - no matter how much she convinced herself how worthless the piece of rock was… she couldn't throw it. She couldn't give in, and she hated herself for wanting to look at, to be with, to love somebody else.

* * *

It was after dinner when Elsa was sitting on the couch, watching television, and Olaf was washing dishes with his uncle Hans. He was quite an insistent boy - always needing to do whatever the man said, needing to do whatever he wanted to do. Elsa didn't have the energy to argue when Hans laughed during dinner and begged the woman if they could wash the dishes together.

She could hear them from across the room, talking and giggling… and while she was on her phone, Elsa just sighed.

Worried? Tired? Frustrated? Perhaps all three had clung to her heart. She had been calling Anna just to check in with her, but she never really answered. Elsa wasn't quite that bothered… well, maybe a little. After that day of Anna coming to check up on her… the blonde had been completely restless. She tilted her head against the headrest, rubbing her fingers on her forehead.

"Olaf, in the future, would you like it if you call me daddy?"

Elsa's ears perked, and she turned to stare at the two boys in the kitchen.

The child hummed. "Hm… are you going to marry Mom?"

Elsa twitched in silence. It wasn't something she had been thinking about ever. Marriage…? Was she going to go through that again?

"Mm… well, when the time is ready. But would you like that?"

She noticed Olaf looking down for a moment. "Heh, yeah, as long as Mom is happy!"

Elsa smiled at that, shaking her head in disbelief. She had always taught Olaf to be respectful and thoughtful, but… this was honestly more than she had ever asked for. And when she felt the Hans groaning as he came to sit next to her, an arm wrapped around Elsa's shoulders, she hadn't even realized how much time had passed.

"Nice show you're watching?"

"Hm." Elsa smiled, not turning to look at him… but she knew his eyes were piercing right into her. "Olaf?"

"Went up to take a shower. Must be a very interesting show to see you get so invested that you're not even paying attention."

Elsa chuckled, wringing her fingers between Hans'. "Shush, you. You two boys seemed to have fun."

"Ah, yeah, when am I never having fun with Olaf?"

"I never thought you were good with kids."

"Babies. Not kids." He cleared his throat. "I… actually wanted to talk. You're not pregnant?"

"No." She paused, and this sudden silence… made her turn in question. This wasn't really something out of usual, but never once had Hans asked questions like this. Perhaps, just a little 'would you like it if I proposed?', 'any plans for our future?' "Why?"

"I just… I don't know. Would you like to get pregnant?"

"Hans -"

He huffed, eyes gazing at the flat screen. "I guess… I don't know. It's just been different. We've been together for… how long?"

Elsa wasn't sure where they were going with this. She let go of Hans' hand and turned to him fully. "Seven months. What is this?" Her brows furrowed, and she still hadn't even noticed how Hans winced. She watched as Hans get up, his chest puffing out as he took in a deep breath. His eyes were completely green with sorrow and regret - and behind all these layers… was anger, and even Elsa could see that. She tensed.

"What is _this_ , Elsa? Deep down… I know, God, and I wished I didn't know, that you still love _her."_

Elsa squinted. "Are you kidding me, Hans? No, I'm not starting this -"

"You're only trying to avoid this because you know I AM RIGHT!" He paused. "Fine, say I'm wrong. Let's say there's nobody else in the picture. Then who were you trying to text before?"

At that, Elsa immediately tensed. Was that text why Hans was trying to talk about this? Sure, Hans could be defensive and aggressive many times… but being paranoid? Perhaps, he did have the right to become paranoid. Elsa sighed, getting up right in front of him, arms crossed around her body. "That was Anna -"

"Anna, Anna, _Anna._ It's always about Anna!"

"You think it's like _that_? Hans -"

He immediately grabbed the woman's wrist when she tried to reach for him. And here… there was just a moment. A single moment… that Elsa was scared of what he would do to her. Her wrists reddened immediately, and his grip felt tighter now. His eyes were wild, furrowed in heartbreak… and he just shook his head. Slowly, he let go of her, head dropped down. "Was I… _ever_ the person that you really love? Or are you saying those three words because you needed someone?"

This was getting ridiculous, but… was this reasonable at all? Elsa looked away. "I… really love you, Hans. You think I could cut off all communications with Anna? We have Olaf -"

"You keep repeating that! I -" He swallowed, running his fingers through his hair. "You know what, fine. I love your little boy, I'd do anything for him. And I love you too, but… how am I supposed to be with someone who can't decide what they want?"

"Hans -"

"Stop it!" Immediately, the man pushed her down on the couch, green eyes piercing with hurt in his eyes. And quietly… Elsa knew she had to stay in her own place. To try and understand her own heart… and she just couldn't understand. Perhaps, she couldn't understand what it meant to love. She sighed, placing her two palms on her head as Hans gathered his stuff, and the front door creaked open.

"You know I always wonder whether you're just being with me because you're guilty that you cheated on her with me. I always wonder what you're thinking - and… God, I wanted badly to slap you sometimes, but I love you. I... just don't know anymore. I'll see you whenever."

And the door slammed shut with an echo, and the only thing Elsa could do was wince at the sound… and she wept. She wept pitifully… and she knew she just deserved all of this.

* * *

 _a/n: oof..._ elsa _you fucked up..._


	18. Chapter 18

_a/n: i wanted to update before i head to england tomorrow. and things are finally moving along. i would also like to point out that... yes, elsa cheated with anna with hans - im not sure if i said it clearly enough in a certain previous chapter (not sure which). elsa is definitely all different kinds of fuck up, but trust me when i say, i want to take this slow, developing their character growth and relationships._

* * *

"Mmm…"

Anna's eyes switched her gaze from the television to the brunette, sitting and sleeping - now waking up - comfortably beside her on the couch with a blanket for warmth. Anna, on the other hand, was just waiting for Meg to wake up, sitting by her side. Right now, it was already well past ten for the night. Anna didn't mind - all this... patience and waiting for Meg to wake up. Afterall, she had the time to think. And this felt somewhat normal. She liked normal. Or… she just liked starting fresh.

Perhaps, fresh… right now, was also unusual. It had been nearly a year. Finding someone else… was difficult and a long journey. Even if that someone else was chasing after her - she just kept running away. Until now.

"You're awake."

Meg rubbed her eyes, still dazed from her sleep. Sitting up, the blanket fell off her shoulders. "Where… God, I fell asleep? I'm sorry."

Anna smiled, despite her worries earlier. "You're at my place."

"Huh?" At that, the woman was completely awake now, and Anna had gotten up from her spot to pour her a mug of warm tea. "Your place…" There wasn't much to be fascinated about, but Anna could see it in her eyes… how much Meg had been wanting to see where she lived. They shined so brightly.

"I couldn't wake you up. I mean, not like you're a light sleeper too. Here."

Meg took the mug in her hand, blowing off the steam of her green tea. She smiled. "What, you carried me home?"

Even Anna couldn't stop herself from feeling a blush at those… suggestive eyes. Chuckling nervously, she scratched the back of her neck - one of those nervous habits of hers. "Uh, I mean… yeah. You were heavy, but it wasn't a long walk to my car."

"You say that to all the girls who are trying to woo you?" Meg didn't even hesitate to be so bold, blowing out the steam of her drink.

"You're the only girl."

"Well, I feel honored, I guess," she replied. Anna didn't mind the boldness, knowing that it was all jokes. _Watch, the next few months won't be all jokes anymore._ Though… Anna wasn't quite sure why she even thought about the next few months like she was determined to… well, hold onto Meg. Shaking her head, Anna sat beside her, eyes entranced to Meg drinking her tea. "You're very honest, you know that?"

Meg only grinned, but… there wasn't much boldness in that smile. It was all shy and very uncharacteristic of her. "Would you rather me having to go lie to you?"

Anna bit her lip, shaking her head, disbelieved and smiling. "That's not…"

"Look," the woman shifted, placing the mug on the table, "you don't… owe me anything. _I_ don't owe you anything. I just want you to be okay." What was she saying? The redhead felt more than just fine. She felt like she had ascended to the heavens with how tonight went. Anna felt her the warmth in her heart growing. "And… wait, where's your ring?"

"Ah…" Anna, out of habit, rubbed her ring finger. It just felt odd, not having a piece of jewelry hugging her. "Yeah, I just… I thought about what you said, and you're right. I shouldn't be moping around, hoping that she'd come back. It's… delusional."

Her eyebrows crossed. "I never said it's delusional, Anna."

"Yeah, well, _I_ know it is." Anna chuckled, feeling quite bitter, actually. And longing? She longed for warmth. She longed for the day she could really get over it all, and with Meg's help... it wasn't going to take long. "Getting in a cycle of chasing someone who doesn't even want me has to be tiring at some point." She wrung her fingers together in a nervous twist. Having someone look at her, pay attention to her every word… was just different. How could she handle this? She took a deep breath, wondering to herself, if… this was the right thing to do - if taking this first step meant she was moving on.

Her heart… was in a different place now. Her heart only stilled whenever she thought of her ex-wife - only throbbing when she thought of someone else.

She turned, soft eyes gazing at Meg's. "Do you believe it?"

"Believe what?" Meg met her eyes, warmly.

"That I've moved on? That I've moved on… because of you?"

Meg stayed silent, eyeing her own fingers. "Because of me, huh? I didn't do anything. Well, I did, but it's your own heart that wants to move on. Anna -"

"Don't." _This is enough._ The redhead quickly got closer to her… so desperately close, her hand laid right on Meg's thigh… and she just stared into her dark brown eyes. Silence filled the air, but not even once, did Anna even take a breath. Neither did Meg falter, and Anna didn't want the woman to hesitate at all if she wasn't going to either.

But what was she thinking? How was she feeling?

Her heart kept thumping, and her body seemed to have frozen because she had just realized what she did. She could feel Meg's breathing… sense the dark glow in her eyes… how the beating of Meg's heart matched the way Anna was feeling. And as much as she wanted to swallow, wanting to pull away, she couldn't. As if she was almost hypnotized, drunken by nothing but Meg's tender expression. _Lunging at her like that… Anna, are you insane?_

How could she have the heart to listen? It seemed like decades had passed as Anna continued to gawk at her a haunted spirit… like a lusted, hungered woman. She licked her lips like an animal - one that she felt like being at the moment. Her heart knew not to move any further, though.

And Meg… just stared, not at all at her eyes… but at her lips. _Oh no._ "Anna…" One whisper was filled with a thousand shots of desire, and Anna could feel it all crawling up her warm skin. "Are you satisfied with this…?"

She shook her head, feeling foreign fingers entwining with hers. Warm ones. Ones… that she hadn't felt for so long. She wanted to hang on to it. "Of course not… you wouldn't be here if I was." She sighed, feeling the woman's breath kissing the skin of her chin. Did she truly want this?

"I wouldn't be _here_ if I were awake before, anyway -"

A gentle press of Anna's lips on hers, a hand coming to hold Meg's cheek interrupted that thought. Only merely a sigh escaped from the brunette instead.

 _Gods, why is this so... so good?_ Anna was so filled with desperation that she didn't care what Meg might have thought of this. She wanted something physical. Someone physical to hold her, to warm her up… to love her. Words were not going to hurt her any longer.

All she could really think about was the woman in front of her, how much this desire was overtaking her, how much... Meg would love her the way Elsa had. Hearing that sigh just confirmed all of Meg's feelings, and she greedily wanted to take _all of it._ She must have been mad for wanting this, but she wanted more, more, _more._ Who was there to stop her? Nobody.

She moaned into the kiss… her body slowly started towering over Meg. She sat on her lap obediently, and Meg had let it. Gentle hands searched up Anna's skin under her shirt… and she wanted exactly that. _All of it_.

A small moan - a single foreign moan, filled with desire for love, kissed those luscious, addictive lips… and when Anna pulled away - _forced_ to be pulled away by a hand on the back of her neck - she felt disgustingly flushed, blazing crimson all over her skin, her body tingling like physical touches were just completely foreign to her. _It hurts to touch._

Her forehead touched Meg's… and she was also forced to look into her eyes. "Meg…" she breathed, absolutely out of breath too.

Meg didn't say anything at first, blank eyes searching her expression. Even Anna didn't know how she looked. "I… I don't want this… if you don't."

 _What?_ Anna blinked. "Meg...?"

"I don't want to do this, if… if you're doing this because I'm just _another_ woman. Just… someone that can make you forget about Elsa. I want you _only_ if you want me too. If you love me."

 _She's serious. Completely serious._ Anna just smiled, shaking her head. "I'd be crazy, if I didn't, Meg."

That still didn't change her expression. "You're not just saying this, are you? Anna… I don't want to just be a replacement."

Oddly, her heart ached, and she wasn't sure what was even real anymore. But replacement? How could Meg say that? Anna almost felt betrayed, but... yes, perhaps, this was the right thing to feel after a failed marriage like that. She licked her lips, unable to move… unable look into her eyes - but that only confirmed Anna still wasn't sure what she wanted. A fulfillment to replace this hole in her? This awful loneliness? _Meg?_

This guilt that chained her heart still existed, but she realized… she had to be sincere about how she felt, seeing the worry in Meg's expression. How much the woman cared for her wellbeing and her feelings. But did it go the other way around too? Did Anna care as much as she would have without this damned marriage blinding her?

She smiled, a hand coming to caress Meg's cheek, thumb drumming below her ear. "All this time… you watched me wallow in my own misery, and seeing how much you wanted to help me… how much you cared for me, helped me see the light. Please… if I didn't want you, I would have pushed you away by now -"

Anna still had so much more to say, if it weren't for her phone ringing on the table. Both of them turned, seeing a certain name pop up on the screen. Anna just wasn't sure what she wanted to do now. And like they could read each other's mind, they both turned to look into each other's eyes.

Suddenly… she could just sense the bitterness, the hurt in Meg's expression. She didn't need to hear any of her words to know she had to get off her. To know that she needed to pick up that phone.

Anna cleared her throat, getting up to head to the hallway. "I… should answer this."

"Yeah… go ahead." There was just something so painfully sounding in Meg's voice. But pushing that aside, Anna could even feel an even bigger pain when she answered the phone.

"Hey…" She leaned against the wall, an arm holding around her waist.

" _Anna? What time is it? Did you just get home?"_

"Yeah, I…" She peeked out in the corner to see Meg sipping her tea, eyes dazing out in her own world. "Yeah, just got home."

" _What were you doing? You never get home this late. I texted you so many times, and you never answered."_

"Oh, I was… drinking."

" _You have been drinking a lot lately."_

Well, when did she care? _Why_ did she care? Anna ran her fingers in her hair. "Sorry, Meg invited me to drink so I couldn't refuse. I'm home now. What were you calling me for?"

The other end sounded silent, which… not only made Anna feel nervous, but agitated too. Sure, she knew to lie to her was wrong. She never had the heart to hurt Elsa in the past. Though, this time, she wasn't so sure about that. This silence was more than frustrating, knowing that she couldn't see Elsa's expression. She wanted to see it… she wanted Elsa to be raw with her. She wanted... the hurt seen on her face. Revenge, perhaps? _I'm... in a dark place._

" _I just wanted to check up on you. See if you wanted dinner - I could've come drive to your apartment."_

Anna nodded. "I see. Sorry about that. Uh, tomorrow, okay?"

" _Is Meg with you?"_

The redhead twitched. "No." _What the hell are you doing, Anna?_ And she knew Meg heard that. In the background, a small, exhausted sigh escaped, and it wasn't Anna. "I drove her home before I came back."

" _Are you lying?"_

Anna nearly threw her phone against the wall, feeling her own anger bursting out from a zero to a hundred. "Elsa, what the hell is with you these days? You've been questioning me so goddamn much! You don't trust me?"

" _Anna, where is this coming from?"_

The woman sighed, eyeing the ground. _Deep breaths…_ "I just…" She sensed Meg coming up to her, arms crossed to her chest… a worried look painted on her face. Anna wasn't so bothered by that. All she wanted to do was let out every single thought - give Elsa a piece of her own mind. "I'm tired of this. I'm tired of being chasing after you for no goddamn reason. I'm tired of just being another person in the house, and I don't want that anymore." She clenched on her phone tightly. _Should I even be saying all of this? Anna… you complete fool._ But Anna wasn't going to listen. She'd come so far… she didn't have to stop. "I don't want to be an enemy to you, to _us_ , to myself." _Enough. Shut up. Just shut up._

" _Anna -"_

"I'll… see you soon, Elsa." _Click._ The only thing that Anna let out now was a sigh. Her arm with her phone dropping to the side… and she eyed the ground, in shame for saying all this. Of course, it was all foreign to her. She'd always… been chasing after Elsa's acknowledgment, always wondering what had gone wrong in the marriage. But now she realized it just wasn't healthy anymore. Even thinking about it now, this wasn't normal. Everything else before this wasn't exactly like that either.

She let out a defeated sigh, turning to Meg. The brunette… didn't say a word, letting her expression reveal all her worries and concerns.

"I…" Anna wrapped an arm around herself, chuckling. "I said it. I said all of it…" Her voice… filled with hurt, was soft. And even if it was her own voice, Anna just felt bad about, herself.

"Anna - Oh, Anna, come here…"

She hadn't even realized she was crying until Meg extended her arms for her, wrapping them around her back, a hand soothingly running up and down on the small of it. And just like that… Anna broke down. She was almost like a child, unable to let go of their favorite worn-out teddy bear… and yet, she had finally let Elsa go from this worn-out marriage.

She wept, crying on Meg's shoulders, her hands grasping at the woman tightly, her tears cascade down her reddened face - a face filled with grief… and face that only truly meant she moved on. At least now, she could feel loved by someone else. Meg was holding her so tightly… so warmly. For a moment, they dropped to the ground like Anna was going to faint - but she was just completely overcome by her own emotions.

"Shh… it's okay… it's okay, you tried, Anna. You did great. I'm sorry. I'm here for you."

* * *

Elsa's phone continued to beep after that call, and she was just… completely dumbfounded, in bed. She gazed at the wall across the room, dazing away. Her heart felt like knives had been piercing at it repeatedly. First Hans… and now, Anna? Tonight had just been a rollercoaster of emotions.

She sighed, two hands placed on her face in shame. All this time, she had always wanted Anna to move on. All this time, she _wished_ Anna would stop chasing after her. And now that Anna had called her - said all these things that were on her chest all this time… Elsa didn't know what to think. How to feel.

And in her heart, deep down, she knew Anna was lying. She could say Meg wasn't there at her home, and Elsa knew. Anna… was never great at lying, but for her sake - for _their_ sake, she was willing to let it go.

Was it jealousy? Perhaps… she was always denying herself that there was any jealousy, that she wasn't even sure if she felt that anymore. All Elsa could feel… was an emptiness. One that Elsa thought would never come because… well, she was so used to Anna. Used to her... following her shadow.

She sighed in shame, unable to sleep, unable to think. This whole evening… was a disaster that awaited her.

"Mom?"

The woman immediately picked her head up to see her little boy with Marshmallow in his arms. Ah, he was the only thing that could make her smile. "Hey, buddy, it's late, why are you still up?"

Olaf didn't smile his usual grin. In fact, his eyebrows were furrowed in worry as his little feet took him right up to Elsa's bed. "Mom, may I sleep with you tonight?"

"Sure, honey." She ruffled his hair as he climbed up in bed, letting her mother tuck him in. "Are you having nightmares again?"

"No…" he says, shifting himself so he could lay his head on Elsa's chest, his arms hugging his teddy. "Mom, why did Uncle Hans leave early today…? I heard yelling… are you mad at him? I couldn't sleep because of that..."

 _Oh dear, he heard it…_ Elsa could never really tell Olaf anything - she never wanted to hurt her little baby boy, of course. But every day - every single day, Olaf would just be more and more curious. Too wise for his young age. The woman sighed, rubbing Olaf's back with her hand. "Well… you can say, Uncle Hans was just frustrated."

"About what?"

"Mm… let me ask you this, do you want Uncle Hans to be your daddy?"

For a second, Olaf's face brightened up… only to disappear a moment later. He shakes his head, no.

"Oh?" Elsa was quite surprised. She remembered the enthusiasm he had in his voice that evening. "Why not?"

"Because I have two mommies, and I think Mama is enough for me. I can't be a greedy boy."

"Oh, Olaf…" She paused. "You can say… Uncle Hans just wants to be daddy fast, and we don't agree."

"Why?"

She smiles. "It's too early, I guess."

"Mom, are you lonely?" Lonely… That was also one word Elsa would never have thought she'd be. She stayed silent for a bit, feeling curious bright eyes watching her. And just as she was about say no… Olaf's widening smile just stopped her from saying anything. "Heh, Mom, since you have me, you'll never be lonely, right?"

 _Silly boy._ "Oh, of course not…" She leaned in to kiss his forehead. "You're the best thing I could ever have. Mom won't be lonely for a very, very long time."

Olaf just happily snuggled with her mother. "Mom…? Do you think Mama will ever come back home? I miss her…"

At that, Elsa just didn't know how to answer the poor boy. She realized… Anna seemed to be in a very, very dark place… and she just had enough. And deep down, perhaps, even she knew Anna had moved on for Meg. She wasn't angry. She was… well, she needed time to realize this was happening. That perhaps… she was in the wrong.

She ran her fingers through Olaf's hair, eyes soft on him. "Mama will be home soon. I promise, baby. I promise."


	19. Chapter 19

Once morning arrived, the sunlight basked into the room, caressing her bare shoulders. Anna couldn't fall back asleep, eyeing the woman that was fast asleep beside her. The warmth that she was feeling… under the cover, feeling legs and arms holding her, the love and care that was given to her that night… separated her from all the misery and fear that she felt hours before. She had let all of it out, needing to be raw and honest to Meg - to Elsa… and God, it just felt so _good._ How could doing something that she had always been against doing, feel so good when it was done?

And everything just happened so quickly once Anna agreed that a nice sleep would do her well. Everything happened so quickly… when Anna kissed her. Stripped her clothes off. And numbed herself with the pleasure she felt that night, the songs made from moans and whimpers escaping out of their lips that night too.

She swallowed, looking at Meg's lips. And as much as she wanted to take her arms away from their hold around Meg's slim waist… she couldn't do it. She almost felt addicted… hypnotized, because the remaining train of thoughts left was just… 'wow, I did that'.

And as if Meg could hear that from her… she stirred in bed, groaning at the light moving to shine on her eyes.

 _Shit… do I move?_ It wasn't like Anna hadn't done this before, but… it really felt more than just new. Different. It was different. And strange, raw, and she should've been disgusted with herself, but Anna wasn't.

Just a few moments of silence passed, and finally, Meg laid on her back, groaning, eyes blinking open… and she turned. Even more silence passed, but Anna was brave enough to keep her eyes on Meg's until their eyes met.

"Oh…"

Anna nearly laughed. _Well, I guess that's one way you're supposed to react._ "Good morning?"

Meg looked more serious than ever, though. "I… good morning. Uh, are you… alright?"

She nodded. "Thank you."

Baffled, the brunette raised an eyebrow. "Thank me for what?"

 _Right… for what?_ Even Anna didn't understand all that much. "For… being so patient with me. And I know… I know I forced you to -"

"You didn't force me to do anything." Meg sighed, lifting a hand from under the cover and caressed the redhead's freckles with the back of her knuckles. "If you did force me to do something, and I didn't like it… I would've told you off. I teach my kids that."

"Maybe I am a kid."

She rolled her eyes. "You _are…_ the _most_ adult-looking adult I've ever met, Anna."

That had to be a joke right?

Anna didn't move from laying on her side, but… she didn't know what else to say either. Honestly, she didn't even know _how_ to feel with Meg just as bare as her, sleeping beside her. Looking at her with such earnestness. She wished Meg wouldn't look at her like almost felt guilty, but… all she could feel was the overwhelming love Meg had provided her.

She smiled tightly. "I… I wanted to make an effort to forget about this."

Meg nodded, but it just sounded a bit wrong.

"I meant it like… well, I want to move on. With you. And I know it seems like… I wanted to numb the pain by sleeping with you. I swear I was all sober yesterday. I swear I wasn't using you. I -" Before Anna could even finish her sentence, foreign, warm… beautiful lips ate all of her words as they pressed against Anna's. A hand came to caress Anna's cheek, and all the redhead could do was freeze in her touch… only to slowly melt when she realized she had to shut up.

Just from one kiss, just _one_ … kept her from thinking about anything else, but how Meg felt against her body. She sighed… letting her eyes close, and before she knew it - needing to whine - Meg pulled away.

"I _swear_ if you try to explain yourself one more time, I'm going to kick you out." The woman laughed, eyeing Anna lovingly.

And even if it wasn't the moment to joke, Anna couldn't help but giggle alongside her… which only stopped when her heart and breath were taken away by the sight of Meg's body uncovered from the blanket.

Sitting up, the woman stretched… and the sunlight did incredible to paint on her pale skin. Anna… just stayed back to watch. She couldn't help it. That flawless back, flat stomach… rounded breasts… they were all so alluring. And those _marks._

 _I… I did that._

Meg seemed to have noticed her staring, seeing how she smirked with intent, eyes glistening darkly. "What, first time seeing a woman?"

 _Oh_. Anna didn't know how to react. Meg could be bold… but she didn't think Meg would be _that_ bold, especially, after sleeping a night with her. Those marks that kept Anna's eyes entranced to her made her cheeks grow red and hot out of embarrassment. That's right, she was completely sober, knowing what she had done to that body. And… she didn't hate it. With how alluring Meg looked this morning, with how Anna just kept glancing at her flawless skin, picturing all the things they had done in her mind… she couldn't help herself anymore.

She wanted to move on… and this had to be the first step. There was a slight pride inside of her, though, seeing how all this time… she hadn't even thought about that _woman._

And unbeknownst to Anna, her smile stretched wonderfully… almost seductively. "No, but it's the first time seeing you?"

Meg rolled her eyes, a hand ruffling her own unkempt hair, another throwing a pillow at Anna's face. "Big liar."

Anna chuckled a little. "I'm not calling myself a truther. It's the first time seeing you, _sober._ "

"Alright, alright. But I'm betting you're hungry." Meg looked at the time and hummed. "Luckily, it's the weekend today. What do you want to eat?"

"Oh, you're cooking?" Anna held the blanket tightly around her chest as she watched Meg get up - _fuck, she's beautiful -_ , grabbing herself a robe from the closet. It wasn't until the brunette cleared her throat when she neared the door that Anna snapped out of her stupid hypnotized stare.

"You can lay around here all day if you want, or you can go wash up. I asked you a question, by the way." Meg raised an eyebrow.

"Uh… I'm craving pancakes? And bacon." _Honestly, do I even have an appetite right now?_

"Got it." She got out of the room. "You haven't even tried my wonderful pancakes yet!"

Anna sighed to herself, sitting herself up from her position. The marks on her own body… didn't even faze her. Slowly, she traced one that looked all bruised up on top of her chest, gulping.

"You really want to move on this much, huh, Anna…?" she asked herself, and while nobody was there to answer her, only her heart knew… this was good for her.

With that thought in mind, Anna managed to get out of bed, shower… and come out with a fresh, joyful expression on her face. She wasn't even sure when was the last time she had enjoyed herself with someone else's company.

Wearing just a shirt and underwear, she came out of the bathroom, loving the smell of pancakes and bacon being made. But she didn't go to Meg right away - almost like she was scared to even go to her in the first place.

Meg seemed to notice her presence though. "You took a long shower. Breakfast will be ready… soon… so…" Silence.

Anna tilted her head, realizing how Meg was staring at her - well, not at her, but what was bare below. Bare legs with just a shirt barely covering her… and Meg was just ogling at her. _Oh._ She nearly smirked. _Look at her get all flustered._ "What, first time seeing a woman?" she mocked, only to earn a scoff.

"Hm, you got me. Breakfast will be ready soon, so just hang around."

"Right." Anna wasn't sure what had come to her when she walked up to Meg, who's back faced towards her. She didn't know what she was doing until she was just a breath away… eyes gazing longingly for someone to continue holding her. Reassuring her.

She stared at her neck, her hair running over her shoulder… and God, it was so kissable - and she could just easily take that robe off - but it wasn't lust that she was after now. She breathed in, licking her lips. Her arms gently around Meg's waist, her head placed right on her shoulder. And everything had stopped. Silenced. She swallowed, knowing that if she ever escaped this embrace… she'd only feel regret for everything that they had done. _I don't want to go back to that anymore. I don't need this heartbreak._

"Anna…" A worried whisper sounded.

"I just…" _It's morning. Don't you dare cry._ Anna immediately shut her eyes tight to stop those escaping tears. "I just wanna say thank you. I… I know you won't accept it… but it's the best I could do."

And though, Anna didn't expect the silence… didn't expect such a heavy sigh, she could at least let her heart open for someone else.

"Where's your ring, Anna?"

The redhead picked her head up. Still, she couldn't see Meg's expression. "It's… it's in my pocket."

"Okay."

"What is it?" Anna tilted her head, chin propped on her shoulder.

She turned around, cutting the stove off. And… while she noticed the worried expression on Meg's face, how… she put her arms around Anna's waist, Anna didn't react. Perhaps, she was more comfortable with Meg now - more than _usual_ , at least - and she must have been crazy to enjoy this… but she had to enjoy something with someone… if it wasn't going to be Elsa.

Did she resent her ex-wife? No. There was only disappointment in her and herself. Disappointed that someone she always loved… would turn into someone unrecognizable. Disappointed that… she hadn't realized how fucked up she was all these months for wanting Elsa back.

Meg… was nothing like her. She looked so sincere, so worried… so lovingly. And as much as it was overwhelming and unfamiliar, she wanted it all.

"Meg… what is it? What about the ring?" she repeated, much quieter this time.

"Did you take it off because of me?"

She raised her eyebrow. _What?_ "Of… of course not. I… Meg, I was delusional, but I didn't realize. I didn't take it off because of you. I took it off for the sake of my wellbeing. My realization. I…" She looked away, sighing, teeth clenching together. "I took it off because that ring had burdened me for so many months, and I don't want that anymore. I wanted to be free from my delusion. You helped me."

Meg could only smile, listening intently. And Anna knew… she knew how doubtful Meg could be, and… perhaps, right now, was the time that Anna reassured her in return.

"Okay." The brunette nodded. "I just worry, you know?"

 _That's something I'd love to get used to._ She smiled bashfully. "I know. I promise I won't do anything else reckless anymore."

"I know you won't, you silly goose. I don't want you hurt." Meg chuckled, flicking her finger against Anna's forehead.

The redhead pouted. "You're just mothering me now."

"Good, I should be. Just sit tight now, I'll bring breakfast out soon."

"Finally. I'm starving."

* * *

"Olaf, say hi to Tiana."

"Hello! My name's Olaf and I like warm hugs!" He opened one arm, another preoccupied with his teddy bear. "This is Marshmallow. He likes to be around me sometimes."

By the door, Tiana's smile radiated with joy as she got down to Olaf's level. "Oh my gosh, really? You're such a cute little buddy, you. And that doesn't seem right. Marshmallow should loveee to be with you all the time."

Olaf's expression brightened even more, his smile widening. "That's… That's what I told him!"

Tiana laughed, knowing that Olaf's waiting to hug her so she opened her arms. "Come give me one of your famous warm hugs~"

Elsa only smiled gracefully at the sight of those two interacting with each other. It was refreshing to see her son smile like this after all this time of suffering from all the heartaches. It hadn't been long since she had first met Tiana during the school play, but… in all honesty, she felt like she had known her for quite a long time. Being comfortable with someone, knowing they would listen and give advice… really bring people closer together. Having only met Tiana for a month or two, listening to her talk about her life through phone calls or text messages, and vice versa… finally, Elsa was asked if she wanted to come over to talk and have some lunch together.

Of course… troublesome times were also troublesome, so before she was asked that - before she could even say yes - she had vented about Hans' and Anna's behavior during that night. Should she have? Probably not. If there were anyone else to tell her what she should do… the first person that came to mind was Tiana.

Back then, she thought she did no wrong. Now… it just sounded absolutely ridiculous.

"Elsa, hello?"

The blonde broke out of her little trance by Tiana's snapping fingers. "Sorry. You two looks very cute together."

The woman scoffed, letting Olaf into her apartment first. "Girl, I will keep him as my own if you keep standing here. Come on in, I'll get you guys something to drink. Tea?" she asked, heading back inside to the kitchen.

"Yes, that'd be very nice." Elsa smiled as she stepped in right after her, looking around.

The apartment gave quite a comfortable feel to it. There were family pictures everywhere, photos of her handing out muffins to her customers, the furniture were quite colorful as well. On the background, the television was on, showing the latest episode of The Bachelor.

"Make yourself at home, honey," Tiana said from the kitchen. "Olaf, sweetie, what would you like to drink?!"

Elsa finally managed to sit down on the couch with a coffee table in front of her. From afar, the toilet flushed and Olaf's sweet humming sounded, including the little skipping of his footsteps. She raised an eyebrow. "Olaf, you went to the bathroom?"

"Uh-huh!"

"With Marshmallow?"

Confused, Olaf tilted his head. "I washed my hands squeaky clean!" He immediately turned to Tiana. "May I have juice please?"

"You don't want any soda?" The woman opened up her fridge.

Elsa didn't even grimace when Olaf turned back to look at her with pleading, cute puppy eyes. Oh, Elsa hardly ever gave her son any carbonated drinks, but surely… Anna must've snuck some to him. _I'll really need to have a talk with her._ She ran a gentle hand through Olaf's hair and motioned him to sit next to her. "Tiana, just give him a little bit please?"

"What a careful Mom you are, Elsa." She laughed, coming out with a silver tray of sandwiches and beverages, placing them on the coffee table. "Sorry about the mess of my home. Business has been so busy I couldn't get the chance to clean up this week. God, imagine just coming home to sleep and then walking out again for work? It's a tortured cycle." A roll of Tiana's playful eyes as she poured her a cup of tea had Elsa chuckling.

"Seriously, thank you for inviting me. I'd hate to be stuck at home, working on these blueprints." Elsa mirrored this smile she had with gratitude.

"Oh, no problem, girl. My home is your home, so treat it as it is. Olaf, come on, eat a sandwich." She sat down right beside the blonde, watching the child giggle as he grabbed two sandwiches, placing them on a plate.

"Mom, may I watch cartoon?"

Elsa shrugged. "I don't know, Olaf. Why don't you ask Tiana."

"Tianaaaa, pleaseeee?" He whined, a proud smile on his face emerged.

The woman immediately turned to Elsa with a serious expression, grabbing the remote. Cartoon Network turned on after a few seconds, and with a gasp, Olaf decided to go sit on the floor for a better look. "I swear, I will get pregnant again just to have a baby that's just as cute as Olaf. Or I could just kidnap him for myself."

Elsa laughed heartily, sipping on her tea. "Please, go ahead. If he wanted to stay over for a week, that's fine by me. Besides… your daughter… well, where is she anyway?"

"Weekend school." She leaned back, sighing in relaxation. "Olaf would get along just fine with Ashley."

 _Oh, I hope so._ "Your husband?"

"In the bakery, as always. He's getting closer to my recipe." Pausing, Tiana slowly sat closer to her, eyebrows scrunched. "So what about you? I want to hear what's going on with you."

When she was about to take another sip, she halted… slowly placing the cup down on the saucer, eyes gazing down on her lap. She sighed, but never… had she felt so much regret and desire for more coming out of her mouth. "God, Tiana… where should I even begin?" She picked her eyes up to see Olaf still concentrating on his cartoon. Even from the back of his head… she could just imagine the radiating smile on his face. If only he was able to spread that for his mother… for the whole family. She was lucky enough to have a child like this. And having a child like this… meant she just could never show the hurt in her own eyes to her son.

"Okay, just start slow, Elsa. It's been a hard past few days, huh, hun?" Tiana rubbed her shoulder with care.

Even with that comfort, it couldn't simply cure this heartbreak she had. "I don't know. I feel… God, there's so much guilt bottled up inside of me."

"What are you feeling guilty about?" Her words were way too soft for Elsa.

She shook her head with a broken smile. She couldn't even meet those brown eyes. "A lot of things. Last night… Hans… Hans got angry. He thought I couldn't love him because I was still stuck with Anna. He thought everything that I had ever said to him, everything that I had given him… that they were all bluff, Tiana."

"Mhm. I'm listening."

"And then, Anna called. Immediately, I knew where she was. Who she was with. She… There was so much anger in her voice when she told me she had enough. She told that she was tired of chasing me. It's like… everything that she had bottled up inside came crashing out in words. And, God, I… I only wanted her to be happy."

The woman nodded. "You know… these past few weeks, you told me a lot of things." Tiana stayed silent, looking away when she sighed. _I can hear that frustration._ "Elsa, I know you don't want to hear this. I want to give you some tough love right here, is that okay?"

The blonde nodded. "That's fine."

"I know you want her to be happy… and, God, I'd love to see you smile for once too. But if you didn't think you were deserving of her, you make sure that you can feel deserving of her. Throwing her away… because, what, Anna seemed robotic to you for listening to you every day? No, no, no, Elsa, you don't do that. Look…" Tiana cleared her throat, crossing her legs together. "As someone who always has little arguments with her husband every other day, I can tell you, it's not always fun. But you make the marriage work by _talking_. Sure, Anna may be boring… but you tell her how you really feel. You ask her not to be so soft all the time, that she should put herself up top once in a while. You tell Hans how you truly feel about him. But now… look what happened. Anna put herself up top for once, but not for you." She printed a finger on Elsa's chest. "Hans… we don't care about Hans, okay? If he's angry, it's his problem. If he's jealous, that's also his problem, because you guys aren't official _family_ , right?"

No matter how much Elsa tried to deny anything she said… Tiana wasn't wrong. Instead of answering her with the best intentions… she stayed silent. Looking down at her lap. She knew Tiana meant well. She was someone she could trust if she needed any advice or opinion.

She shook her head, eyeing Olaf. "I just want my child to be happy…"

"Who doesn't? What kind of parent wouldn't want to see their child grow and be successful?"

Elsa didn't know what to say. It was true… she wanted Olaf to be a great person when he grows up. But at an age like this… where he was stuck between his parents' broken marriage? It should never have been this way. "He's too smart - too wise - for his own age, Tiana."

Elsa -" Before she could even finish the rest of her sentence, Elsa had gotten up, hand to her mouth, tears streaking down her cheeks as she stormed to the bathroom.

And she could hear all the commotion outside as she sat on top of the toilet cover… sobbing. No… she had too much shame, too much guilt inside to let herself cry freely.

"What happened? What happened to Mom?"

"Honey, don't worry. Your mother just feels a little intense. She'll be fine."

"But… But…"

"Shh, I'll tell you what, I'll check up on her, and you just continue watching your cartoon, alright? I'll be your second eyesight, how about that?"

"O… Okay…"

Elsa didn't know what to think. She didn't want to wallow up in misery. She didn't want her son to even witness that she was wallowing up in misery. Elsa sighed to herself, wiping her tears away. Somehow… she had to bounce back…

"Elsa?" The door knocked. "Elsa, are you alright?"

"Yes… I'm - I'm fine. I'm fine."

* * *

a/n: sorry this chapter came out so late! classes has just started, and i had a great vacation.


	20. Chapter 20

a/n: oof, so sorry for the very, very late update! i was... procrastinating... .

* * *

" _Did you finish pack all your stuff?_ _I'll come by if you need help with moving."_

" _Nope! Nope, I got this -"_

 _Anna grunted as she grabbed her suitcase - more than one was being hauled down every five minutes - down the stairs, and Elsa was staying by the open front door with their little man._

 _Elsa winced. For such a small body, Anna really got some strength in her. "Here, let me just -"_

" _It's fine! Everything's okay. See?" She placed the black suitcase right on the first step of the series of stairs. She took in a deep breath, admiring all the luggage that surrounded her._ _When did I get all these clothes? I'm gonna have to throw some of them out…_

 _Elsa sighed. "You're all ready?"_

" _Yep. Got my trusty luggage," she chuckled, only to let it fade the moment she knew this situation didn't ask for humor. "Um… I -"_

" _Anna, in your heart, you already know we need this."_

 _No, I didn't know. __She nodded. "Yeah. Definitely. It's alright, I'm over it."_ _God, say that again, but in your head, you idiot._

 _She didn't need to look up to see all the happiness and… relief on Elsa's face. Sure, she was hiding that joy with a worried expression but… in the end, Anna could see through all of her wife. Gazing down, she noticed Olaf seemingly trying to hide how sad he looked, holding Marshmallow tightly in front of his face._

 _Anna couldn't help but smile… even if it meant that it was a very, very… bitter. She felt bitter and apologetic._

 _After all, they planned this together. Olaf picked an apartment for her. And she… well, she picked out the furniture, plus grabbing some from their home - except, there wasn't a 'their' or 'them' anymore. It was all Elsa. She didn't want to move out, but for the sake of everyone's mental and emotional health… this was at least something she had to do. She had to be the sacrificial lamb. She had to be the bigger person._

 _Yes, perhaps, she was selfish for trying to argue against breaking the marriage, but for the sake of keeping a kind face for their little Olaf… this had to be the best move._ _How ironic. This is the exact reason why Elsa wanted to break us up._

 _She sighed, getting on her knees, and booped her son's nose. Still, his anxious expression wasn't going away anytime soon. Anna looked up to Elsa for a little help. Almost pleading._

" _Baby, come on. Give Mama a hug, hm?"_

 _Olaf shook his head as the blonde patted his hair. "Mama, where are you going…?"_

 _Anna just didn't know how to answer him. All she did was purse her lips into a tense smile, her hand rubbing on Olaf's shoulder. "Mama will have to leave just for a few moments. Don't worry…" Her eyes met with Elsa's, "I'll be back very soon, okay? Until then, be a good boy?"_

 _Olaf whimpered, shaking his head even more rapidly. "No, Mama stay!"_

" _Olaf -"_

" _Stop it! Stop it, stop it! I don't like it!"_

 _Oh no._ _Anna immediately got up and grabbed her case as soon as Elsa held Olaf tight. She'd never seen Olaf squirm so much… but the sight… the sight was just appalling. Heartbreaking. She gripped onto the handle of her case, clenched her teeth… and hopefully, she wasn't going to cry._

" _Baby, I promise you, I'll be back, okay? Just for a few moments. Look, I'll see you after schools, won't I?"_

 _The boy stomped his foot on the ground, tears streaming down his crimson cheeks. "Nooo! No, no, no! Mama, stay!"_

" _Olaf Jamison Arendelle!" She hadn't even raised her voice in such a long time to her son… but apparently, he didn't care. He dropped Marshmallow, slipped away from Elsa's hold… and he was tugging on her mother's leg tightly._

" _M-Mama… Please, Mama, s-stay…"_

 _At that moment, all Anna could feel was her heart-shattering. Her expression darkened, and God… she wished she didn't have to see this. She wanted to weep, really, but she realized… she had to stay strong for her boy. A shaky sigh emerged through his loud cry, and Anna managed to look at Elsa and motioned her to get him off her._

 _Even then, she knew Elsa was feeling heartbroken too. "Olaf, baby, come on… Mama has to go now." A hand gripped tightly around the boy's stomach, trying to pull him back._

" _No, no, no! Mama!"_

" _Honey -" Immediately, Elsa hugged the boy tightly against her body. "Anna, you better go. Now."_

 _Anna managed to get the chance to free herself from him, grabbing her luggage… listening to his cry for his Mama…_

 _She could hear it as she went outside to put her bags in the back of the car. This should never have happened… and almost seemed like a nightmare that Anna wished she could wake up from. But it just wasn't._

 _The moment she let out a wet sob, she had the back of her hand against her mouth, head turning to the road. Their son… should never have been able to see his mother as vulnerable. Never._

 _Anna managed to gather herself together and turned. It was… such a beautiful sight to see the two people she loved most standing outside their house, and their son trying to reach for his Mama._

 _But she didn't want this anymore. With a final look at her ex-wife, at the house… at her son, she whispered, "I'm sorry. I love you. Both of you."_

 _And knowing that Elsa knew what she was saying, Anna could only see the image of her beautiful love picking Olaf up, kissing him on his wet cheek… and those blue eyes just sparkled. So beautiful, yet so ugly at the same time._

 _Finally, with one more intake of breath, she left. The echoes of Olaf still crying resonated through her exhausted body and mind._

* * *

She didn't realize the sky could be so bright with clouds floating in the air. Didn't even realize the wind tickling her face, blowing her hair could feel so warm. The sound of leaves rustling, falling, hanging to their dear life to tree branches never sounded this magical before. The road that she was walking seemed so long, so far, but she didn't mind it. Someone else was with her. And perhaps, that warmth she was feeling… wasn't from the wind, but from the hand that was holding her own.

She didn't need to look beside her to see Meg staring at her. Smiling. Almost blushing. They seemed like a teenage couple.

 _A… couple, huh_?

"You alright?"

Anna flinched, turning. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. … You?"

Meg took in a deep breath. "I guess I should say that I'm happy. But…"

"What?" Silence. "You feel guilty." Anna knew exactly how she felt.

"I guess -"

"You _guess?"_ The slight confliction Anna felt made her halt on her step, and Meg turned to face her. Anna shook her head in disbelief, their hands unlocking from each other's hold. She hadn't thought that Meg would feel this… conflicted. Hadn't thought that Meg would even be clueless to what Anna wanted. For once… Anna just wanted the truth. "I… You know I just want things to be certain. I don't want a 'guess'." She licked her lips, looking away. "After all this time trying to unlatch myself from this marriage, and you… you managed to pull me away, I don't _need_ an 'I guess', Meg."

A sigh slipped out of the woman, and when Anna expected a hug from her… Meg wouldn't do it. "I know, Anna."

"What now?" She picked her eyes up, raising an eyebrow. "You feel guilty. Guilty for who?"

"For Elsa, beautiful."

Silence. "You don't need to -"

Meg pinched the bridge of her nose. "Deep down, she still cares about you, Anna."

"If she did, I would've still worn that ring." She wrapped her arms around herself. She had never felt so bitter before. Never so angry at the one person that she had fallen in love with. But right now… Elsa just wasn't that person anymore.

"You know…" Meg took a step closer to Anna, eyes gazing down… and Anna felt a squeeze of her fingers around her waist. "I know she didn't want me to tell you this. But she knows, Anna."

"She… knows? What do you mean 'she knows'?"

"The first night that we slept together. She knows." Fuck. Suddenly, Anna felt sick to the stomach. "Anna, she wanted me to take care of you. She was willing to have me… give you the love that she couldn't provide for you. Anna -"

"I don't want to hear it."

"Anna?" She squinted. " _Now_ you don't want to hear it?"

 _What the hell does she want me to do once I hear it?_ Anna tried to let go of Meg's hand, but with her fingers wrapped around her wrist tightly immediately, she could only focus her attention on her. As much as she hated… all this guilt trip, all this pity talk… she, at least, had these special feelings for Meg, even if she wasn't sure what they were just yet.

Anna gazed down at the ground, then slowly picked her eyes up. "Fine. So what? What do you want me to do about that?"

The brunette sighed in disbelief. "I don't want you to do anything. Anna, where are you - You're always expecting something to be done. Where is this coming from?"

Taking a deep breath, she pursed her lips in frustration. She had to admit, she wanted to please Elsa so badly that she was willing to do anything. Now? She realized how much of a joke she used to be. She was never doing things for herself… but for Elsa. Anna shook her head. "Nowhere. Look… I know what you're trying to say. And… I get it. You want to fulfill her wish. Aren't you doing that now? _Haven't_ you been doing that the entire time? Or… even before this?"

Meg didn't seem to give her any reaction. And, for Anna, that's fine. She had enough of all this pity party for her. She wished people would just see her as only 'Anna' not… a poor girl who was desperately trying to cling to a marriage that had failed so hard in the first place.

Brown eyes gazed down at the hand that grasped her wrist, and Meg slowly slid her hand down to those fingers with much-needed warmth. "You're right. I have been. I don't hate her, Anna. I… yes, I'm angry that she could leave you behind like this. But -"

"Meg -"

"No, listen to me for a second." Quietness. " _But,_ deep down, even if she doesn't admit it, she still cares a lot about you. And I know you know this."

She did. _Does._ However, tiredness… strained Anna. But even she had to admit… deep down that old heart, Elsa had to have something warm, something light inside of her. She nodded. "Yeah."

"Anna, I'm not telling you to do anything. But just know, I'm not here to guilt you. Patronize you. I… I like you, Anna." Silently, Meg leaned in, lips gently pressed on her forehead. "You need to know the truth, that's all. You _deserve_ the truth."

And if that really was the truth… Anna didn't want it, but now she had it, and now she wasn't sure what she was going to do with that. On the other hand, she knew she couldn't continue to lock herself up in this bubble she was living in. She was silent though… contemplating. Wondering. _I haven't done anything wrong again, have I?_

"You're depressed, aren't you?"

Anna felt her arms squeezed around her body, and she could just… smell her wonderful scent. With the warmth mixed in the wind… she could relax in her arms all day. So she shut her eyes, relaxed her muscles, listened to the wind blow. All was well for the moment. And her soft voice sounded, no matter how… how tired she felt. "Yeah. Depressed."

A kiss on the side of her forehead confirmed all the love she could feel for Meg. "I'm here for you. I'll always be there when you need me to be."

"I know -"

The only thing that separated the two from their embrace was the ringing of Anna's phone. She pursed her lips in a tight smile, mirrored by Meg as well… only to have it disappeared when Anna noticed who was calling her.

"Who is it?"

Anna didn't answer her, but the phone. "Hello?"

" _Mama?"_

 _Oh, my baby._ The redhead couldn't help but smile. "Hey, baby, good afternoon. What's up? Where's Mom?" A sniffle sounded, and Olaf started stuttering a little… which, immediately caught Anna's attention. She scrunched her brows."Olaf, what's going on?"

Meg tilted her head, immediately concerned as well. "Is everything okay?"

" _M-Mama, could you come back home, please? Um… I-I don't know… Mom is sick."_

"Sick? How sick?"

" _Like a cold? A fever? We were at Auntie Tiana's home earlier before!"_

"What? A fever all of the sudden?"

" _I don't know… she was weird before!"_

Anna sighed, running her fingers through her hair. _And here, I thought nothing would happen and I could be at peace with someone else…_ "Alright. Just hang back okay?"

" _Mama, I'm scared…"_

That almost broke Anna's heart. "Honey, don't be scared. It's alright. It's nothing that a nice hot bowl of chicken noodle soup can't fix. Alright, I'll go get some medicine for Mom, and I'll be home."

" _Hurry!"_

"I will, sweetheart." Anna slowly hung up, sighing. She didn't notice the way Meg was smiling, and when she did look up… Anna mirrored her clumsily. "Sorry about that."

Meg took a step back and shook her head. "No, it's alright. Do you want me to drive? Go to a pharmacy?"

 _She really…_ Anna sighed. "You know, you don't have to do this for her."

"Oh, I'm not." Meg chuckled. "I'm doing this for you. Look, Olaf's scared, so can you decide quickly before he decides to run off by himself to get his Mom meds?"

* * *

Feeling Meg's kiss on her lips as Anna stood by the front entrance of this… warm - no, almost a little cold - house, gave her a little bit of self-denial. A little bit of… truth in her own feelings. She wondered… if she wasn't good enough for Elsa, what would make Meg think that Anna would eventually be good enough for her?

Meg had left a few moments ago, but… even a few moments felt so dragged out. She couldn't possibly stand having to see Elsa, especially, now. But they were wives, they had a wonderful child… and, even if divorced, they both swore an oath to take care of one another - even if those medicines were half bought by… Meg. Her girlfriend? She wasn't sure what term to even use.

Anna gulped, just a foot away from the white door, her key placed against the hole. Slowly, she inserted it and turned the knob. "Olaf?"

"Here!" The little boy emerged from the second-floor bathroom with a wet towel above his head. He gasped, immediately running down the stairs. "Mama!"

The woman instantly smiled, confused, amused… all kinds of emotions came tangling in. She took off her shoes, placed the bag of pills on the counter before picking the boy up in her arms. "Oof, you've grown so heavy. Is Mom feeding you junk?"

"I'm a big boy!"

Anna nodded, immediately taking the wet towel off his head. "Yes, you are. Which explains why you have a towel on your head. Why?"

Olaf looked up in contemplation. "Um… because Mama is hot, and I didn't have any other places to put the towels?" He tilted his head, gasping. "Is that bad? Will I die?! Mama, I'm scared…"

Anna scrunched her brows and slapped the boy's hand lightly. "Hey, do not say that, understand? And no, and no." _Oh, he really is growing._ "Is Mom in bed?"

"Uh-huh. Huffing and puffing."

"Alright." She put the boy down slowly and rummaged through her bag. "Did you eat?"

"No, but I ate some Poptarts!"

"Okay, that's not food. But bear with me for a few moments, alright? I'll see what I can do with Mom."

"Will you make food?"

"I will as soon as I see how your mother is doing." She went over to the couch and grabbed the remote so Olaf could watch some TV. She didn't need to see how Olaf squealed in excitement when his favorite show came on, so she immediately headed upstairs… slowly peeking into Elsa's room - just to see a huge, flat clump on the side of the bed.

Anna raised an eyebrow. _Wow, she's that sick?_ "Hey. How are you doing? I came by to check on you." She knocked on the open door, immediately catching Elsa's attention.

The blonde could barely even sit up for a second, groaning. A folded towel was placed on her forehead, and a garbage can stood by the bedside. "Ugh, Olaf called you?"

"Yeah." _She sounds awfully surprised._ But she disregarded that as she head to Elsa's side and sat beside her. "You didn't know? Here, let me see."

Elsa shook her head. "I didn't want you to worry…"

Honestly… this was the first time Anna had ever seen the woman with such bright red colors on her cheeks. And it wasn't even the romantic kind.

The redhead removed the towel, placing her hand on her forehead, and winced. "God, I don't remember a single moment when you'd get a fever like this. What did you even do?"

Elsa groaned, her eyes still shut closed. "I was probably just… stressed out. I kept juggling with all types of things these past few weeks…" A deep breath sounded, and Anna grabbed her a cold bottle of water.

"Here, drink. I'll make you soup in a bit, and have you eat these pills." Though… as she watched Elsa open her eyes, drinking slowly… the only thing she ever wanted to ask was, what kind of stuff she was juggling with to get all sick. Seeing how odd it was for Elsa to be sweaty and red was a rare occasion, but if it meant that would bring them closer - _no, we're not that anymore._

"Olaf's been taking care of you? Why didn't you call me earlier?"

Elsa sighed. "We were at Tiana's place. It's fine, it's just a fever. It'll be gone in a few hours."

 _That's not fair._ She scrunched her eyebrows, placing the water on the counter, and another hand ran through her ex-wife's hair to smother it off her face. "You know I worry, that's all -"

"Anna, where is your ring?"

A suffocating pause sounded, and Anna almost pulled her hand away in reflex… but she just… _I can't live like this. I can't hide from this._ The stare that she received though… how those blue eyes screamed nothing but helplessness, didn't even stir Anna one bit. And when Elsa tried to touch her, the only reflex was to look away… feeling the five fingers squeeze her arm. The one arm… that Meg would hold as well.

"Look," Anna gazed down, her fingers entwining, "I believe you."

"Believe me?"

"I'm… sorry that I yelled at you the other day. I was… frustrated. Angry. At myself, at you… it doesn't matter. I want a life where I don't have to spend the rest of it, chasing after something - _someone_ \- that I can't reach anymore. I thought… the first step of moving on would be to take that ring off."

And with Elsa's silence emitting in the room, Anna realized this just wasn't the best time to say all of this. _And maybe... what Meg said was right - she knows everything._

Her hand slowly slid down Anna's arm, and she sighed. "I… am glad that you are able to move on."

 _Is that for the best?_ But Anna just gave her a tight smile.

"Meg is a nice girl. She will be… ten times better than I was to you. Anna, you will be very happy."

She turned, looking down to see the softness in Elsa's eyes. Surely… this wasn't what Anna expected her to say, but even she wasn't sure she even liked what her own head was thinking. Deep down in her heart, she wanted Elsa to take her back. Was that too impossible? She didn't say anything - and Anna knew… she didn't need to say anything to know how Elsa really felt about her.

Despite how… soft and gentle her words were, it felt _cold. Empty._ Like she didn't really mean it.

But how could Anna tell her? Assume that she didn't mean it?

Anna nodded. "Yeah." She paused, and a slight part of her heart - one that held Elsa in a special place - broke. "I know… you two talked. I don't want things to be complicated. I still - I still care about you. I always will care about you and Olaf… but you two made me realize I have to move on. Elsa -"

"If there comes a chance that she breaks your heart, I won't ever forgive her."

The redhead stayed silent. Those blue eyes… hardened. All this anger, love, and care… were shown from the moment Elsa said that first word. She was surprised, though, of how much energy Elsa still had left in her to say all this. Really… Anna felt… special.

She smiled, nodding. "Well, I guess now that we got it all out, I'll go down and make you some soup alright?" Without another word, she placed the wet towel on Elsa's forehead, tucking the blonde to her chin.

It had been a long time since she heard Elsa hum with satisfaction, and God, it just gave Anna so much joy to see her smile through her sickness. "Feed Olaf for me, please?" She pouted.

Anna nearly scoffed. "Elsa, I always will. Get some rest, I'll wake you up when food is ready."


	21. Chapter 21: Vendetta

_The five year old boy tugged on her mother's hand as they walked down the busy streets of their central area, filled with nothing but expensive entertainment and shopping centers. For hours, Anna got to spend time with her son in preparation for his first day of school in the next few days. Elsa took the day at home to finish up a design that was awaiting for her boss._

 _With enough money - and Anna almost broke the bank with how much she was buying for Olaf… especially, spoiling the kid, thinking that this was going to be a celebration to another milestone of his life - the mother managed to stuff her car with plenty of new clothes and school supplies. Oh, and let's not forget the new toys Olaf wanted to show off when he was going to meet his new friends._

 _And with that tug, Olaf paused, standing where he was with his new light-up sneakers. "Mama…?"_

 _Anna blinked, turning to stare at the boy… then looked up to see where Olaf is staring at. A display of Disney clothings and toys. Ah. "What, what is it?"_

 _Olaf pointed up with his little finger to the flat screen in the store, which showed a commercial of Disneyland and how fun everyone seemed to be having. The boy… seemed to be completely in awe with how wide of a smile he had. "Mama, what's that?"_

 _Anna couldn't help but chuckle, getting down on her knees to Olaf's height, an arm wrapped around Olaf's little shoulder. "That's Disneyland. The happiest place on earth."_

" _Ooh…" Olaf said to himself before jumping up and down on his feet in excitement. "Mama, can we go, can we go?! There's roller coasters!"_

 _Anna could barely hold down a laughter as she tried to keep the boy from being too overly excited. 'Alright, alright," she grabbed the boy's arms, "we're gonna have to discuss this with your mother, if we can go, okay?"_

" _Pleaseee, Mama?" Olaf pouted, prompting Anna to mock him with the same pout. "I really wanna go! It looks fun! I wanna bring Marshmallow!"_

 _Anna shook her head in pretend disappointment. "Marshmallow will have to get permission from Mom too."_

" _Don't you wanna go?"_

" _Mama went before." Anna jutted her chest our in proudness._

 _The boy gasped in astonishment… and perhaps, horror that his own mother could go without him. "Really?! I wanna be there too!"_

 _Oh, if only you knew, Olaf._ _Anna silently ran her fingers through the boy's short blond hair, and nodded. "Fineee." She blew a raspberry._

" _Yay -"_

" _But!" Anna put up a finger to have him hold that thought. Immediately, Olaf thankfully knew how to listen and to stopped talking. "Only if you do well in school, and_ _then_ _, we can have a discussion about going to Disney for the summer. Good deal?"_

 _The boy probably was already too excited to even have second thoughts, because the next thing Anna knew was that she had arms hugging her neck, and feet jumping up and down._

 _Anna didn't mind it. If her boy could be this happy and joyful all the time - like how she always used to be when she was younger - she wouldn't mind planning dozens of trips to the amusement park each and every summer. Besides… having another person who would most definitely enjoy riding roller coasters was better than riding alone._

* * *

"Olaf, food is ready! Come grab your bowl!" Anna yelled from the kitchen. The boy was still busy watching his cartoons, being too invested in it that he didn't even seem to hear his mother calling her.

Elsa, of course, was still upstairs, wrapped in a thick coating of a blanket. Anna would see her first, but… well, she had to put her son first. Any parents would put their kids' needs first.

" _Olaf! Now_!" Anna urged louder, turning to see the boy still watching his cartoon, sitting on the floor. In his arms was Marshmallow as well. The woman frowned, turning off the faucet from washing the dishes. "Honey, if you continue to sit that close to the television, you're going to go blind. And when you do, how are you going to take care of Mom, hm?" Anna crossed her arms. _That ought to get his attention._

And it did because she could hear him gasp, his head whipping to where Anna's standing. "Oh no, Mama…"

"Come on, let's eat, baby."

As much as Anna liked being the most care-free, the most fun, and no-rules-allowed parent… well, sometimes Anna really had to add some rules to make sure her son would walk down the right path. She knew he was smart, having all of Elsa's intellectual side to him, so she didn't doubt - even for a second - that Olaf would turn out to be the most obedient kid ever.

It really put a smile on Anna's face when she remembered how hard it was to get Elsa pregnant, and only when she did… out came a miracle child.

The kid immediately grabbed his bowl, making sure it wasn't too hot before putting it on the dining table. Anna decided it was time that his entertainment period was over, shutting the TV off. Olaf didn't seem to mind a bit.

"Tastes good?"Anna asked, grabbing her own bowl of soup and a slice of bread from the kitchen."Careful, it's still a little hot."

"Yes, Mama."

The woman smiled lightly as she sat across from him, watching him eat quietly with his favorite Thomas the Train Engine spoon. "You want more bread?"

He shook his head, humming a light song as he ate, and Anna could just feel his legs dangling under the table as well. _What a happy kid._

"You must be very hungry, huh?" She started eating as well, ripping a small piece of bread to dip in her soup.

"Uh-huh. Pop Tarts aren't fulfilling."

"Mm, I can see that. There's more soup left, but I'll need to save some for Mom tonight, okay? I left a container in the fridge, but if Mom doesn't feel better by tonight… remember what I taught you about using the microwave?"

Olaf hummed, eyeing the ceiling. "Never use…

A… a… lum...inum foil. Use glass!"

Anna gave him a big thumbs up. "Good job. Always make sure it's not too hot okay -"

"Mama, I _got_ it." Olaf giggled. Oh, for once, Anna realized she could be quite an overprotective parent, even if it came down to just teaching Olaf how to use a microwave. Olaf probably understood the use of it by now. _For Gods' sake, he's seven, not three._

Anna hummed. _I guess I'll have to learn how to get used to this. Especially when he's a teen… oh god. Puberty._ "Alright, I just wanted to make sure, that's all."

With all that in mind, Anna decided to hurry up and eat a little faster so she could feed Elsa. Sure, her own cooking wasn't as phenomenal as Olaf's other mom, but during their marriage, at least Anna got to learn a thing or two from her. "Is it yummy?"

Olaf nodded. "Mhm. A little too bland…"

"Ah. Well, it should be okay, still. Too much salt is no good, you hear me? And sweets too."

The boy giggled a little, hiding his smile with the little bowl of his spoon on his lips. "Mama, you sound like Mom."

"Do I? I guess I spend too much time with her." Oops. It wasn't supposed to sound like… _like that._ It wasn't supposed to be an insult… and Anna wondered, perhaps, all the bitterness and anger was slowly slipping out without her even realizing.

Her smile faded when she noticed Olaf staring at his soup, swirling his spoon around the broth. "Mama?"

"Yeah?"

"I… I gotta ask… why do you hate Mom?"

Oh. Anna nearly burst into laughter - although, it was a laughter out of shock and heartbreak. She merely scoffed at herself, reaching to run her fingers through Olaf's hair. His bright blue eyes looked especially… sad. Knowing that Olaf had always been a very optimistic boy, after having to break their marriage, their boy just seemed to change. In a very subtle way, but Anna knew, even if he started off without a clue what was going on, he was heartbroken as well.

She would hate to see her boy come to realization that his parents would never be back together. The thought of him growing up, rebelling, hating on them because of their own selfish needs… hurt. It _hurt_ so fucking bad.

She smiled, taking a deep breath. And hopefully, she wasn't going to weep in front of him. "No… No, I don't hate her. Why? Does it seem like that?"

"Well… well, my friend from school says that parents… I-I don't know, separate because they hate each other? O-Or cuz I'm just a burden? Mama, what's a burden?"

 _Fuck._ The redhead's face twisted, and she looked away. "No, baby. You're not a burden. Never. You're…. the one thing that makes Mom and I super, super happy, do you understand?"

"Mama…" He pouted, frowning. "You know, we never got to go on that Disney trip together…"

That hit Anna right in the heart. She was speechless. When was the last time they had talked about going on a vacation? A year ago? Two years ago? Anna couldn't remember. It should have been one of the most memorable times in their marriage, yet… Anna didn't find it special enough to remember. She had realized, though, Olaf… barely ever gone a vacation away from this dreaded town.

Anna bit her lip, nodding. "I know, Olaf. I know."

"I wanna go on my birthday…"

 _Shit, please don't give me that. Please don't._ "That's not possible, Olaf. But soon, alright? We will go soon." _I can't be here. This is going to kill me._ Immediately, Anna got up, grabbing her bowl to wash. "Take your time eating. If you want more, there's some still in the pot, but be careful. You can go watch TV."

Olaf… didn't sound like he looked forward to it. He was silent, nodding. But what could Anna do? She sighed, turning around to see his head faced down in disappointment. _Fuck, am I even fit to be his mother anymore?_

She walked up to him, kneeling right next to him with her hand on his arm. "Hey, look at me."

The boy turned with hurt. "Mama, I thought I was a good boy. You told me."

" _And you are._ " She pinched his cheek lightly, smiling with regret. "I'm sorry for being such a disappointing Mama. I'm a bad mother, Olaf… but I will always, _always_ try to make you happy. Don't worry, alright? Mom and I will take you to Disney one day." She leaned in to kiss his forehead, only to hear him hum, and humming with content too. That was enough for Anna to smile. "Alright." The redhead pulled away, giving her little man a pat on his arm. "You're a big strong man. You can handle waiting right?"

"Heh, yeah."

"Good. Now you're gonna have to wait a little longer. Mama has a mission to make your mother feel better." She got up, puffing her chest up like a superhero at him. The moment he giggled and clapped warmed Anna's heart once again.

And right now was exactly the time where Anna could pretend… they were still a happy family. At least, _trying_ with Elsa, as she walked up to the second floor with a glass of water and a bowl of soup.

"Elsa -" She knocked on the door, only to find her ex-wife trying to get up. "Hey, hey, get back to bed. What are you doing?" She hurried to her side, placing the tray on the counter.

The blonde groaned, scratching her head. "Nothing, I just… I just want to grab a change of clothes… wash myself."

Anna raised an eyebrow, standing by the side she was sitting. "You don't want to wait till you're better?"

Elsa shook her head. "Anna, I smell horrible. I've been sweating -"

"You don't smell that bad."

"Anna." She glared at her, almost playfully… almost serious.

" _Okay, okay."_ She paused. "Well, you're still not gonna get out of bed at this rate, even for a quick shower."

Elsa didn't say anything, gazing away. Her fingers clenched tightly on the blanket. Anna wasn't quite sure what the blonde really wanted to say, but… well, it wasn't like Anna wanted to even _try_ to read her mind. She had given up on that _years_ ago. "Well… would you mind if you…"

"If I…?"

Elsa shook her head. "No, forget it -"

"Look, just tell me. Anything to make you feel better, alright?" Deep down, Anna still cared… and just like Meg said, she still wanted to put others above her. Still wanting to be validated, even if her words were filled with anger.

"Alright. Could you, at least, scrub me down?"

A silent beat passed. Anna stared blankly at her ex-wife, who… seemingly just looked embarrassed. Especially when she was trying to keep focus on Anna.

And even for a beat, Anna's heart also stopped. Out of all the years that Elsa had never fallen sick before, why now? Why… at the point where Anna was trying to forget about her? Trying to move on with somebody else?

Somebody else…

"Elsa, I…" _You said it. Anything to make her feel better._ Plus, Anna wasn't sure whether _they_ were at the point where they would call each other girlfriends. Meg… she hadn't said a word. But that couldn't be a valid reason. Anna was torn. She pinched the bridge of her nose. _Do it. For her._ "Alright, just… I'll grab some hot water. You eat, though."

"I will. Thank you."

"Yeah."

Coming out of the bathroom was hard enough when she was just… picturing all the times Elsa had spent with her, naked. It wasn't a lot, but whenever it happened - whenever love or fuck was made - Elsa was gorgeous. It all engraved in her brain now. All of it. And the moment Elsa asked to be washed - not like this was the first time ever - Anna felt herself flare red with embarrassment, anger, and… a sick part of her still desired her. No matter how much she wanted to deny it, she desired _her._

She placed the bucket beside the bed with a wet cloth in the water after she closed the door shut. Elsa was still eating, and stopped completely.

"How do you want me to do this?" Anna asked. Surprisingly, she didn't stutter a bit. _This is going to be awkward._

"I'll just take off my clothes, okay?" Elsa bit her lip. "If you're not comfortable, I can -"

"No." She bent down to wring the cloth from all the water before getting up with it in her hand. "Just be comfortable. It's not like I haven't seen any of it." _Oh god._ "We're both women." _Nice save._

With that, Elsa nodded, slowly managing to unbutton every little buttons on her pajamas. Pulled her pants… and her panties down. And she was bare. Oh god… completely bare after months of seperation from each other.

And like the confident woman that Elsa always was… she didn't feel embarrassed enough to cover her own intimate parts with her arms. Anna just stared… in awe, in reminiscence… She was just as beautiful as the first time they had seen each other.

Those blue eyes sparkled, watching her, her pale skin going well with the sun like beautiful white canvas, extremely light freckles dotting on her shoulders, and her breasts were well-rounded and full, matching greatly with the flat of her stomach.

"Anna? Quit staring."

The woman blinked, catching Elsa's cautious eyes. _Fuck, I'm so screwed._ "Sorry. I'll just… come over to the back." She kneeled herself behind Elsa, the warm wet cloth… well, she wasn't sure where to start, but she knew she had to really be 'normal' here. She cleared her throat. _Might as well start with the most… awkward part._ "So I'm just gonna… start from the front okay?"

Elsa hummed, nodding. _Damn it, where is this going to get me?_

With one hand with the cloth, she slowly… lightly started on her breasts. _Oh fuck…_ Anna blushed heavily, remembering how good Elsa felt in her hands. How perfectly she _fit_ in her hands, especially, there.

She hadn't realized how much she was shaking as she continued to scrubbed her chest. It shouldn't have taken more than ten seconds, but neither did Anna realize how much time this was taking. That is… until she heard a sigh. _What sigh? Oh god, what is that sigh?_

"Anna, I… I'm sorry."

The redhead placed the cloth in the water again, wringed, and repeat on her stomach. "F-For what?" _Thank god she can't see my expression._

"I've said it before, and I'll say it again… I care about you, Anna. I don't want you to be hurt. I know… Meg is a great person. She tries hard to keep you company, but I want you to be careful too, okay?"

"I know." She continued on to her thighs - knowing she had to miss what was in between. Oh fuck, she couldn't imagine having to wipe her there. She stiffened her breath. "I… I'm over it."

"Are you?"

Anna looked away. "Yeah. I'm fine. I've been telling you. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't."

"Well…" Elsa chuckled. "Are you sure you wouldn't be here if you aren't fine? Are you sure you're fine?" _Questioning me again?_

Her hand finally managed to scrub on Elsa's small of her back slowly. At least, now, she didn't have to think about anything more _intimate._

"I don't really have a choice, do I? I still have a family to take care of."

"And you have Meg too."

Anna didn't want to bring up Meg - especially, she didn't want her ex-wife to bring up someone who was currently in love with her. _It just… leaves a very bad taste._ She froze for a moment, eyeing Elsa's neck with all this anger in her. Elsa wasn't always like this, bringing in people that didn't need to get involved in their marriage. It was their own problem. But… she couldn't deny Meg had been involved for a very long time, even without them knowing.

She continued washing her back. "I heard you two talked."

Elsa sighed. "We did. I wanted to see if she really was genuine about how she felt about you."

"And? What did you find out?"

The blonde didn't say a word for a second. "She'll treat you well, Anna. Even if she didn't tell me, I can tell she has feelings for you." _And how would you know what love is?_

Anna could barely hold her thoughts back from being voiced out. She gazed down, continuing to wash her in silence. She didn't want to argue with Elsa, especially, not with Olaf in the house. _Honestly… I just want us to be happy again -_

Anna blinked. Once. Twice. She stared at the black bruise right on the bottom right side of Elsa's back. _What the hell?_

She had never seen something like this on Elsa. She was always known to have beautiful skin, and Anna would see absolutely no flaw there. Until now anyway. Anna tilted her head, but she didn't say anything.

Slowly, she ran her cloth right around the area lightly, only prompting Elsa to wince and hiss. "Shit, sorry." Anna immediately pulled back, frowning with concern. She couldn't keep her eyes off it _. It just looks so… nasty._ "What happened? Where did you get that bruise?"

Elsa sighed, shaking her head. "I tripped over the stairs the other day. Bumped my back against the counter. It's nothing."

"It's hurting." With two fingers, she caressed the wound again. "When did this happen, Jesus Christ…"

"Two days ago. Are you done?"

"Yeah." Anna got up immediately to the closet and brought her a new set of pajamas. It didn't seem right to look at Elsa's naked body, but health over… whatever she was thinking about had to take priority. She took in a breath, rubbing the back of her neck as she let Elsa dress herself. "Uh… do you… I-I don't know, need me to ice that bruise?"

Elsa shook her head. "It's just a bruise, Anna." Her blue eyes gazed down, and slowly, she decided to lay back down in bed. Anna didn't hesitate to tuck her in either, leaving the blonde to smile. "Will you stay tonight?"

Anna froze. "Actually… no. I don't know. Until you feel better, I'll be here, but I…"

"You have Meg to be with, huh?" Elsa questioned, her voice growing softer.

Anna couldn't deny that. She nodded. " 's more soup in the kitchen. You and Olaf will have to heat it back up when it's time for dinner."

"What will you tell him?"

The redhead furrowed. "Tell him what?"

"About Meg."

 _Shit._ Anna didn't think of that. She stared blankly at Elsa, deep in thought… deep in the possibility of breaking the young man's heart. She sat by her side quietly, eyeing at her fingers entwined together. Elsa shouldn't have asked that because now… now Anna wasn't sure if she wanted to be here anymore. It would be risky. Having to tell Olaf that his own Mama was loving someone else?

She remembered when Elsa came home with Hans. He didn't… react well.

She swallowed, chuckling bitterly to herself. "I don't know. I don't think it's time."

Elsa gazed up at the ceiling, shifting herself in bed… possibly feeling the discomfort of the bruise being pressed against the mattress. "E… Eventually?"

Anna didn't answer her as she got up, grabbing another pillow. "Lift your hip up, it'll make you feel better." She hadn't focused on how tender and tired Elsa's smile was as Anna placed the pillow below the blonde's back. She sighed, gazing back at the woman. "Are you sure you don't need ice?"

For a short moment, that smile disappeared, and Elsa… just looked away. Her own fingers held themselves together, and it was almost like… the whole world had stopped as Elsa's breathing softened too.

She got the hint. Anna slowly got up, backing away as she bit her lip. She had to be quiet. Anna… was slowly turning back into the person that her ex-wife didn't need her to be. _A slave to the marriage._

"I'm alright, Anna. I'm alright…"


	22. Chapter 22

" _Are you nervous? You're shaking." Anna placed a hand above Elsa's twitchy hands, looking at her in worry. She understood what Elsa was going through - all the insecurity, all times she felt she couldn't do more… Gods, Anna pitied her wife._

 _And they had only been there in the waiting room for an hour with a bunch of pregnant or to-be pregnant women, reading magazines._

 _For those two, they were just too anxious to read or even talk to each other._

 _Elsa just gazed down, shaking her head. Her fingers held firmly on Anna's hand. "I don't want to -"_

" _Mrs. Arendelle, may the doctor see you? Both of you?"_

 _The two wives looked at each other in confusion when the nurse called them from the doctor's office. They were both newly wedded, and of course, through the ups and downs of everything, they got through it all. With their hands always held together. They loved each other too much to let go… and not a day or night passed without them giving each other comfort._

 _Anna, especially, would be the one to always,_ _always_ _give Elsa all her love and all her warmth. She didn't mind it. As long as Elsa was able to smile again after… what happened, Anna was fine carrying her lover on her back._

" _What's going on?" Elsa asked._

 _The nurse merely smiled as she stepped aside to let them in. "It's best if the doctor tells you."_

 _The blonde turned to her wife. "Anna…"_

" _Shh, it's okay. You don't know anything, Elsa. Hey…" She placed her two hands on each of Elsa's cheek. In any situations that they had to deem the worse… Anna was still smiling. For her. She had to. "Don't think about anything else. You are fine. Come on, let's go see him, alright?"_

 _Elsa sighed, pressing her forehead against Anna's. "Are you sure…?"_

" _Yes. Let's do this. Together."_

 _With that, Anna began to squeeze Elsa's hand, kissed the back of it… and they both got up. Luckily, Elsa didn't need any help with that._

 _When they entered, the nurse had shut the door in silence. And really… it was too quiet. The man sitting in front of them, behind his desk had a white coat, hands folded on his desk. His smile… was incredibly soft too. Almost too soft._

 _It was the only thing that suddenly got Anna more nervous than ever._

 _Everything in the room, while it always looked so comforting every time they came in, suddenly looked so bleak and empty. But she had courage, and Anna… had to use that courage somehow._

" _Mrs. Arendelle, sorry for the wait. I had a patient who's… well, never mind that. Please, have a seat, both of you."_

 _Elsa was hiding behind Anna like a child. The redhead turned to her, fingers running through her hair. "Hey, don't be scared. Let's sit okay? Let's listen to what he has to say," she whispered. It didn't take much effort for Elsa to agree._

 _As they sat, there was still this awfully long silence. Anna couldn't take it. At least… she knew they had to get this over with. Under the desk, she held Elsa's hand like there was no tomorrow. She wasn't even aware she might even be hurting Elsa, but… Elsa was just all dazed in her own misery._

" _Doctor… the results?"_

 _The man sighed, gazing down on his desk. His folded hands began to unfold as he grabbed a prescription notepad and wrote down some pills. Strange._

 _Anna frowned. "Doctor, why are you writing a prescription -"_

" _After everything that has happened… as you have told me," he looked up to Elsa, "I would like Elsa to take some antidepressants pills. Here, I'll also recommend you to see a therapist -"_

" _Doctor, what is going on?" Anna was losing her patience, the moment she felt Elsa shaking in fear, the moment she noticed the doctor sighing. Sighing in an immensely tense situation is never a good sign._

 _The man stopped what he was doing and looked right at the redhead. The stern expression… got Anna even more nervous. "I wanted to take the time to ease into whatever I'm about to say, but I realize, there is no easy way to say any of this anyway. Elsa…"_

 _The blonde looked up to him._

" _You are unable… to conceive a baby. I'm sorry."_

 _A pin seemed to have dropped through this unforgiving silence. Anna thought she misheard. Perhaps, the doctor misspoke? But with a face so stern… how could he have said the wrong words? Anna didn't dare to see how her wife was reacting, but her bravery got the best of her, and she turned._

 _The woman… wept. As expected._

 _They_ _tried._ _They tried for the second time… and this, they promised each other, would be the last. Was this supposed to be their best? Was this supposed to be God telling them Elsa did not deserve the love and the warmth they wanted? These few months… God had been trying to break Elsa apart - so, so fucking badly._

 _They weren't sure what was wrong. The doctor told them it was stress. Perhaps, it was the wrong sperm… but they had chosen two different men. How could both of them be wrong? What were the chances? And stress? It could be the case after what Elsa had to experience, but Anna wasn't betting on that._

 _Anna slowly sat down, wrapping her arms around Elsa's body, head against her shoulder. She allowed Elsa to cry on her as well. "It's okay… it's okay… I know, Elsa. I know we wanted a baby… I know."_

 _The doctor gazed down. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to do anything else. You two have been through a very rough patch these past months, and I prayed day and night that you two could have the dream that you've always wanted."_

 _Elsa didn't answer. Anna only smiled with bitterness, nodding. Not even a 'thank you' but… who would even be thankful right now?_

 _He took a long breath and got up. "You two may stay here for a while, I'll get you two water -"  
_ " _Wait." Anna slowly pulled away from her wife. She took her hands and squeezed them together. Those blue eyes… were just completely broken. "What about me?"_

 _The doctor raised an eyebrow. So did Elsa. "You?"_

 _Elsa sniffled. "Anna, I thought... I-I thought you didn't -"_

 _She sighed, nodding. "Yeah, I said I didn't want to get pregnant, but… I mean, who cares anymore, if you're going to suffer again and again? Two times, Elsa… This time should be me."_

 _The doctor put his hands in his coat pocket, turning to Elsa. "Elsa, what do you think? Would you like to try again or pass this to Anna?"_

 _Elsa wasn't much for answering that right now, and Anna knew that. Right now… even if Elsa didn't want a baby any time soon to experience more of the heartbreak, Anna wouldn't mind. All she wanted to do was take care of Elsa's mental and emotional health. A baby? Right now, that had to come second._

 _She ran her fingers through Elsa's hair, kissing her forehead. "Why don't we go home and think about that, huh?"_

 _Elsa didn't hesitate to disagree._

* * *

"Hey… yeah, uh, sorry for calling you right now. Still taking care of Elsa."

" _Don't worry about it. Are you staying?"_

Anna rubbed the back of her neck as she leaned against the kitchen sink, watching her son pick out a color from his crayon bucket as he did his homework. Right now, it was to sketch what he did today. "Um… I don't think so? I'll let you know when she gets better tonight."

" _Anna, it's fine. Besides… if you need to stay, it's not like I can stop you."_

 _Yeah, but I wish you could._ Anna smiled to herself, gazing down. Oddly… she felt bashful. Someone like Meg could be so caring and understanding, and not at all possessive that they wouldn't even allow Anna to see her wife? Honestly, she needed someone like this in her life. For all she understood… she had been missing out quite a lot. Or perhaps… she was just getting way too tangled with everything else. "Thanks. I, uh… I'll be home. I promise." She paused. "Do… Do you wanna come over?" Anna turned her back to Olaf. _He shouldn't be hearing stuff like this._

" _Come over? My, my, what are you planning? Should I get fancy~?"_

Anna blushed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I knew it. I knew you were going to react like this and I let it happen!"

" _Ooh, scary. I'll come over… at what time?"_

"Eight? I mean, I made dinner here, but it's… not like you would enjoy -"

" _I'll come over at seven, and I'll make dinner. I don't want to look stupid standing in front of your door. God, the last time, I remember that stupid drunk trying to flirt. I could've punched him in the face if you didn't drag me in your bedroom."_

With that, Anna burst out laughing. Just the image of her creepy neighbor leering at Meg, and how the woman would just stand there trying not to seem obvious that she knew her neighbor was staring… was oddly funny. Not at all scary.

" _Not funny!"_

"Definitely funny. I'll see you, lo-" _Love._ Damn it. "Yeah, I'll see you." She sighed in relief as she hung up, turning around to see Olaf staring right back at her.

"Mama, who's that?"

Anna shook her head. "Just a friend." _Oh, please, how long are you planning on lying to him?_

Olaf hummed, continuing to concentrate on his homework. Anna tilted her head in curiosity. Normally, Olaf would come up to her and ask who that was - and perhaps, it would've been easier for her to tell him that the person she was talking to was his Mama's girlfriend.

"Olaf, is something wrong?" She crossed her arms, seeing him shake his head with a grin.

"Nope!"

 _Something is definitely wrong._ But… perhaps, instead of telling him with Elsa still upstairs, resting, was not such a good idea. She cleared her throat. "Alright, I'm gonna go check on your mother."

"Mama, are you gonna go soon?"

She checked her watch, sighing. "Yeah. Remember? Dinner?"

Olaf nodded. "Yeah. Dinner in the fridge, and microwave for two minutes."

"Okay." She went to lean in and kiss Olaf's head. "Be a good boy for me while I'm gone." With that, she left Olaf sitting by the dining table with his homework while she went upstairs.

Of course, even if they weren't together, Anna still cared very much about Elsa. That bruise? Even as something as little as an accidental bruise… she was worried.

She opened the door slowly, only to see Elsa still in bed. "Hey." She smiled, coming over to her side. A hand gently placed on her forehead. _Ah, it's not as hot…_ "You feeling alright?" she whispered, setting herself down on her knees.

The blonde opened her eyes, nodding. Smiling. When was the first time Anna had seen such a genuine smile?

"Are you going?" Elsa questioned, her voice hoarse.

"Yeah. I just wanted to check up on you. You seem better." She chuckled, running her fingers through Elsa's hair. "When you gather the strength, go take a bath. Eat dinner. Everything's in the fridge."

"Okay…"

"Call me if you need anything."

"I will." And just as Anna was about to go, she felt a grasp from Elsa's cold hand. "Just a question…"

Anna raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, what?"

"Did you… tell Hans?"

Anna didn't mind that she asked that, but they both knew Anna didn't particularly enjoy Hans' presence in the house. As much as Anna tried to find the good qualities in Hans, she just couldn't seem to get past his… cocky attitude sometimes. Especially around Elsa. So why would Anna ever tell Hans? Anna merely shook her head, almost laughing.

"No, I didn't tell him. Did you want me to tell him?"

Elsa shook her head. "No, it's okay. I'm just asking." _Why… though?_ "Anyway, you should go. Someone else is waiting for you, isn't there?"

Silence. This… couldn't get any more awkward. But what did Anna expect? For Elsa to tell her to stay? For Elsa to hold her tight like how she once did? No… what Anna needed was to separate herself from this stupid dream.

Nodding, she got up. "I'll see you. Take care of yourself."

* * *

Coming home around the time Meg was going to be here was almost exhausting. At the same time, welcoming. She couldn't stop thinking about Elsa though. That woman had been acting… strange. Olaf too. It was subtle, but knowing Elsa always had the confidence to take care of herself and Olaf, a moment of weakness… was definitely odd.

She played with her keys as the elevator 'dinged' to her floor. Her phone began to vibrate with a text message as well.

Arriving at her door, she grabbed the phone from her pocket.

 _Thanks for the dinner. Next time, put a little bit more salt, alright? You get a 7/10. - Elsa_

At that, Anna couldn't help but smirk, scoffing playfully. She was glad though - Elsa had gotten up to get food. Even if it wasn't too tasty. _I thought it tasted alright. Thanks for rating me for my effort_ , she texted back.

She couldn't even catch a whiff of the delicious smell coming from the other side of the door until she entered. Sizzling and boiling of… whatever sounded. She turned once she opened the door, seeing Meg in an apron, hair bundled up in a messy bun -

And wow. _She looks like a mom._

"I heard that!"

Anna immediately slapped a hand on her mouth, watching her girlfriend playfully pouted, hands on her hips. "Fuck, I let that slip out…?"

The brunette rolled her eyes, continuing to grill her two mackerels on a pan. "You came home just in time. Just to be gifted with you saying _that._ " She glared at her once more. _Oh, I'm in trouble._

"Uh," Anna chuckled nervously, dropping her bag and coat on the coach. "It was meant as a compliment?"

"Is that a statement or a question -" The woman paused, raising an eyebrow. "You… wait, do you have a 'mommy' kink?"

"Oh God, no!" She stopped, thinking to herself, and the curious expression she had formed, prompted Meg to widen her eyes.

"Wow… you do." Meg mouthed to herself. Well. What was the point of arguing? Anna groaned to herself, plopping down on the couch.

Placing an arm above her eyes, Anna decided to just relax for a bit. Meg could be fun… a lot of fun. But right now, fun wasn't what Anna needed. She swallowed, hearing Meg get back to her cooking.

If anything… she was thankful her home could be a safe space. For both of them. She hadn't had someone cook for her in her own home for a while. She hadn't had someone make fun of her for a while either.

All this time always wondering about her kid and her ex-wife… could be exhausting. Even if something that was this small could be the time of her life… well, it was something she was willing to take in welcoming arms.

She took a deep breath, peeking at Meg's back. "By the way, how did you get in here?"

"You don't remember giving me the key to your apartment?" She searched the upper cabinet for some utensils. And Anna clearly did not remember. Well, perhaps, she was just drunk out of her mind and decided to give her a spare key. "Oh, almost forgot, how's Elsa?"

 _How's Elsa?_ Oddly enough, she didn't want to quite talk about Elsa to her… even if she clearly cared for her. Just in her own way, that is. "Uh, she's fine. You know, it's weird."

"What is?" The woman approached her, two plates of food with two bowls of soup in both hands.

 _God, I'm starving._ Anna couldn't help but bite back her smile when she noticed how delicious dinner would be in a minute. Dinner with her girlfriend, relaxing on the couch, in front of the TV… _yep, this is going to ba good evening._

"Well, you know how she can be so perfect and all."

"Hm." Meg sat beside her, handing her a fork. "So? What about it?"

Anna squinted, gazing at her plate. "It's weird to see her have a big black bruise on her back."

"Her back?"

"Yeah."

"You took her clothes off?"

Silence. Anna couldn't have been that dumb to not realize what she had just said. Her mind began to scramble, eyes unable to tear off of Meg's - _Oh God, the way she's looking at me… I'm screwed -_ and her lips began to open and close, but no words were able to escape. Her mind was scrambling. "I-I - s-she took her clothes off -"

"And you _let_ her?"  
Anna immediately shut her mouth. _Shit, I shouldn't have said anything._

To her surprise, Meg began to burst into a laughter. "Oh my God, you should've seen the look on your face!"

 _What?_ Anna didn't understand what was going on. She expected jealousy… but laughter couldn't be a part of jealous. Right? _Have I been living under a rock?_ "Uh…" She waved a hand in front of her. "Hello? A-Are you mad?"

The brunette was still trying not to laugh. "Oh dear… don't worry, I'm not mad. Unless you meant that I'm crazy, then yeah, a little." She sighed, gazing down at her food. "I mean, you probably wouldn't understand why I'm not mad."

 _God, please enlighten me._ Anna hesitantly nodded. "I… yeah, I really don't understand." She twiddled her thumbs together. Oh, no matter how old Anna was, she could still act like a naive child. She swallowed, almost wanting to shrink herself in a cave.

Meg, however, didn't look so uptight. In fact, as she said, she wasn't mad. _In fact…_ she had an expression made of acceptance. It was something that Anna could never understand, and she was correct by telling Meg that.

"Look, we're all adults here," she glanced towards the redhead, "we're all at the point of… still trying to figure ourselves and our lovers out. You two have been married for seven years. There's a connection, and even if it has been severed, it's still there. I don't mind if you see her naked, or she sees you naked. As long as it's all to care for each other, I don't have a problem with it."

That… was the last thing Anna expected. Her mouth gaped open in a small 'O', in surprise. She must've heard it all wrong, but… it just all seemed so sincere. She nearly twitched when she felt a hand on her knee. "Yeah. Yeah, that's… good, I guess." Anna wasn't quite sure anymore.

Despite that, Meg replied with a grin. "You said something about a bruise?"

 _Oh, back to normal._ Anna nodded, poking her food with her fork. "I don't know. I just find it odd how she got a bruise all of the sudden. Do you think…" She frowned, her body freezing, but she wasn't able to speak another word of what she had in mind. Not even with Meg.

Though, it seemed like Meg wasn't going to force her to say anything. And perhaps, knowing what Anna was already thinking, the brunette sighed, leaning in to hug her. "Hey, don't think anything like that, alright? Nothing happened."

"I mean…" She shook her head. "Olaf's been weird too. He asks these questions but… I never know why. I know he's a curious boy but… what kind of kid would question whether or not their parents hate each other? I-I don't hate her… do I?" Anna pulled away, eyebrows furrowed in worry. Asking for guidance right now… just made her feel like a complete child.

Meg only shook her head, but even that wasn't going to soothe this heartache. Not even with a hand on her cheek. "No, you don't hate her. _I_ don't hate her," she whispered. "Did you ask her? About the bruise?"

"She said she 'slipped and fell'." Anna's fingers motioned quotation marks.

Meg didn't react. "You don't think she did?"

" _I think_ she's not telling me something that I'm supposed to know." _And I hope, God, I hope… it's not what I'm thinking._ She bit her lip, arms crossing over her body. "Do you think she… Hans…"

" _No._ Stop that." Meg grabbed her arm, watching the redhead sigh, dropping her head down in her hand. "He's not likable, but… do you really think he's the type to - I mean, he treats Olaf like he's his own child, isn't that right?"

Anna nodded. It was true. She never recalled the man treating Olaf badly… so how could he have done the same to Elsa? She had to be overthinking all of this. Still, how old it was for Elsa to get a bruise right there, on her lower back. Quite a nasty bruise too. _She even flinched at the slightest touch…_

No, nevermind it all. Anna… was just being paranoid. She leaned into Meg's touch. "Thanks. That helped a lot."

Meg chuckled, kissing her forehead. "I _am_ your girlfriend, am I not?"

 _Girlfriends._ Just when she thought she wasn't sure if they could be called that just yet… well, right now, she didn't mind being called her girlfriend so much anymore. This was comforting.

* * *

a/n: yes, kind of a slow chapter, but we're gonna start picking up the pace in the next few!


	23. Chapter 23: Isn't This Lovely?

_a/n: suggestion of rape. please see authors note after this chapter._

* * *

 _It had been days. Perhaps, even weeks. Anna was trying her best to keep things afloat, but the atmosphere… the dreaded feeling in the house felt horrible. The news said it all._

 _Norwegian Cruise, on the way to the Bahamas had, experienced a devastating problem… leaving thousands severely injured… and another thousand… sitting right on the bottom of the ocean floor. The ship had been recovered as soon as possible, but what did it matter when all those people were…_

 _It was dreadful._

 _Elsa hadn't eaten. Hadn't slept. Hadn't even cleaned herself for a week. Two weeks. It was becoming worrying, and Anna nearly called for a doctor, a therapist - anyone to get her to come out of her house. To see the sunlight. She missed seeing her sunshine smile._

 _But Anna couldn't blame her. Each day, they listened and watched the news… and each day the death counts were increasing. Their heart ached… and every night, Anna prayed with her wife that everything was going to be okay. Almost, every night… Elsa would throw up at the horrifying thought that -_

 _Well… they couldn't just imagine the worse. Expectedly… they did. Nobody answered their calls. Anna went to the police, called for a detective, even a lawyer - but it was all in vain. They even recently found out Elsa… couldn't conceive a child, but it was only their first try._

 _Two weeks had passed. No news, except for the broadcasted news about the incident kept dishing out however many people had died, had been found, had gone MIA. Anna didn't allow Elsa to watch it. She would freak out._

 _But that Sunday morning, Anna was making breakfast. Surprisingly, her wife came down from their room. Her hair was oily, dirty, tangled, and all she wore was an oversized shirt she hadn't changed from since… God knows, how long._

" _Anna."_

 _Anna immediately turned her attention from washing the dishes to Elsa. Quickly, she came to her side, arms lovingly holding Elsa together. "Hey… hey, honey, how are you feeling? I made breakfast, do you wanna eat with me?"_

 _Timidly, and hesitantly, Elsa nodded. And she could see it, all of Elsa's dark circles, her awfully pale - almost seemingly grey - face. Those blue eyes… were so voided from light and love. The redhead could feel her heartache as she slowly took Elsa to sit on the couch. She sat down beside her, gazing carefully at Elsa's face. Her hand came to caress her cheek, and it just felt so dry and dull._

 _Those blue eyes stared at the black screen of their television for a moment only to look away._

" _Okay, do you want to watch anything -" Elsa immediately tensed, "- I-I meant Netflix? Hulu?"_

 _Shitty save._

 _Elsa shook her head. "I… let me just sit here."_

" _Okay, okay." She leaned in to kiss Elsa's forehead. "I'll finish up making breakfast and we can sit here to eat it, alright -"_

 _Knock, knock._

 _Anna turned to the door. There was another knock. This time, she got up, "I'll get that."_

 _She didn't know anyone in the neighborhood that would knock on their door this early in the morning. How strange._

 _She peeked out into the lens… only to see a man in a brown long coat and formal wear. She frowned, seeing how he immediately pulled out… his badge._ _A detective._

" _Elsa - Elsa, come here, it's a detective."_

 _That surely got Elsa's attention because, in a blink of an eye, the blonde had gotten up, rushed to Anna's side, and swung the door open._

 _A short silence filled the air as the man looked right at the two distraught wives._

" _Hi, how can we help you?" Anna started. Her wife… still looked shocked._

 _The man showed his badge again before clasping his hands together. In one hand, he had an orange folder. "Yes, I would like to speak to... Elsa Arendelle?" He eyed the blonde immediately._

" _That's me," Elsa immediately answered. The detective lowered his head, eyes gazing down. That only made Elsa more nervous. "What's going on? A-Are you here for my p-parents? D-Do you know where they are?"_

 _Silence. Anna didn't blame her wife for being nervous, for bombarding the man with questions. She cared so deeply, loved so deeply about Agdar and Idun. She was their child after all…_

 _Anna began to hold her wife in her arms, her own eyes coated with tears. She could hear all the little pleas whispering from Elsa's lips… and all of the sudden, Anna realized… this was all real. And god, she had always wished the nightmare would end… but it just didn't._

" _As you may already know, I was assigned to your case. The ship has been recovered last week." The detective let out a low sigh, handing Anna the folder. "Unfortunately, Mister and Missus Arendelle were lost in sea -"_

" _Oh, no, no, no, God, no…" Elsa cried, the desperation and sorrow in her voice broke out like a shell of an egg had cracked open. "Y-You're wrong. It's not true -"_

" _Ma'am, it is -"_

" _WHY COULDN'T YOU ALL TRY HARDER?!" The blonde wept so loudly, falling on the ground, and all Anna could do was fall with her, support her, hold her tight._

 _Anna didn't want this. She never wanted Elsa to mourn. She never wanted Elsa to cry like this. Her heart broke into pieces. Her folks… were loving people and treated Anna as their own, and now this?_

 _She pressed her forehead against Elsa's, letting the woman cry… letting the woman scratch her with her sharp nails._

" _I am… truly sorry for your loss, Mrs. Arendelle. Please, rest assured, we did all that we could… but it was an unfortunate event. We found them and have brought them back to land. Contact us, please. Here, my card -"_

" _Just go…" Anna croaked. "Leave us be."_

 _The detective didn't say another word. He nodded, leaving the card on the floor… and he was gone._

 _Right now, Anna prioritized with Elsa's mental health. The woman was crying so loudly, almost like a child…_

" _Mama… Papa…" she wept. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… Please don't leave me, please…"_

* * *

"You know, you should really tell Olaf about our relationship."

Anna blinked, turning to her side, facing Meg. They were bare in bed for the night, clothes shed from their body, and the moon shined brightly, illuminating Anna's freckles. She watched her girlfriend smile, a hand coming up to run through Anna's loose hair. And all Anna could see… was the flawlessness of Meg's skin, how full her breasts were. She licked her lip, eyeing the cleavage under the blanket. "W-Why?"

"Eyes." A finger propped below Anna's chin to tilted her head up. Meg raised her eyebrows. "Up here."

"S-Sorry." She cleared her throat. "It's a little too early, don't you think? Shouldn't… I don't know, we prepare?"

Meg sighed her hand falling to lay atop of Anna's arm. "Prepare for what? A war?"

"No, I -"

"Anna, any time for you would be _early._ You're not ready, I can tell, but the longer you wait, Anna… the worse things are going to be."

She wasn't wrong. But either way, she wasn't quite sure how Olaf would react once he found out the news. She chewed on her lip in deep thinking, feeling Meg's finger tracing circles over her skin.

"Hey…" Meg sounded. "Isn't it better to get it over with. He's still just a kid."

"Yeah, but he's _my_ kid… and I… I don't want to hurt him, you know?"

A sigh escaped, and Anna wasn't sure if that because Meg had succumbed to acceptance or if she was becoming more frustrated. Anna understood though - she would be frustrated with herself too. She looked away, feeling Meg pull the redhead closer to her body, her warm hand scaling down Anna's waist. "Tell you what, tomorrow, when you come to pick him up, we can discuss this with him in the classroom. How does that sound?"

It wasn't what Anna quite imagined, really. The most she expected was for them to go out for the night with Olaf, have an evening just spoiling the boy with entertainment and dinner before breaking the news to him. Sure, it wasn't such a good idea, but… neither was doing this in such a straightforward manner in a strictly professional environment where he was being taught. No, it was barely professional now that Anna was fucking his teacher. This was laughable.

Her thoughts swirled wildly in the back of her head, but all she saw was the determination and the plea written all over Meg's expression. How odd for her to push Anna to do this, but… Meg was always considerate of others. If it meant that she had to mother Anna's son as well… then, so be it.

She swallowed, nodding. "Yeah, you're right."

"Of course I am." Meg smiled, pecking a small kiss on Anna's lips. "Trust when I tell you I want the best for you and Olaf. And I know… I'm just his teacher, but… I care, do you understand?"

"I do." Anna felt timid, listening to all of this.

Feeling Meg hold her body, her chest heaving with each slow breath taken in and out, it rid Anna from these intrusive thoughts. The fact was… she cared too much for the boy to even start breaking the news that… both his mothers were selfish. Instead of taking care of him together - despite their differences - they had to break apart, they had to put themselves above him… they had to leave him for other people.

She swallowed, shutting her eyes. The soothing hand mellow with its touch dragged against Anna's skin under the warmth of the cover. She didn't need to peek up, having her forehead kissing Meg's chest, to see determined orbs staring right at her. "You'll be there…?"

A laughter rumbled. "Silly, of course, I'm going to be there. Now get some sleep. It's going to be a long day…"

* * *

 _What was I thinking?_ Anna should never have agreed to this. Her palms were sweaty, gripping onto the steering wheel, her eyes almost bulging out each time she looked to the side where Olaf's school was. The majority of the students had probably gotten out of their after-school program.

There were still fifteen minutes before the school closed for the night, and Anna… really had to go in and catch her boy, but she just couldn't budge. She promised Meg that they would talk, she promised Meg that they would do whatever it took to make sure Olaf would understand.

But the way her mind swirled, finding different types of scenarios where Olaf would definitely disagree and throw a tantrum… _Oh God._

She repeatedly bashed her head against the steering wheel lightly, groaning to herself. "Get it together, get it together, you can do it… I mean, it's not the end of the world if he throws a tantrum. He's a kid, after all. What's the worst case scenario? … Throwing a tantrum. Ugh!" _Get over it!_

With that, and a shot of courage mixed in her adrenaline, she got out of the car. Her legs trembled, but it wasn't stopping her from entering the school. And when did that building get bigger?

As usual, the lights were turned off in the hallway, and by the time Anna arrived at his floor, she could hear Meg yelling for the students to pack it up. Each step she took, came closer to the light of the classroom. And each step became heavier than the last, and it was almost like the whole world depended on her. Her son depended on her.

She knocked on the open door, seeing Olaf show Meg a sketch he drew. The two picked their head up, and almost like they were twins, they smiled and came right towards her.

"Mama, you're here!"

"Oof," Anna laughed - as well, making sure she didn't seem to visibly nervous to the boy - when he wrapped his arms around her. She looked up to see Meg silently tending to clean up Olaf's crayon bucket. It must've been a coincidence. Everyone, except for Olaf, was gone for the day. Have I really been sitting in the car for that long? "Alright, did you have fun today?"

The boy, as always, cheerful, smiled. "Yes! We played with clays today, and I made a robot."

"Oh!" Anna widened her eyes. "Must've been pretty cool, huh? Wanna show me?"

"Olaf, come get your robot for Mama," Meg urged, gently picking the one that was his from the rows of sculptures near the window. Of course, it wasn't the best, but it was the best that a child could ever make, and Olaf was proud of it.

With his small hands, he was careful to take it - and saying thank you to his teacher - he showed his little artistic skills to Anna. "Look!"

"Wow, you made that, huh?" Anna took Olaf's hand, sitting them by a table. Meg followed suit as well, sitting right across from them. "That looks cool. What's its name?"

Olaf thought for a moment, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "Not sure yet… But I'm gonna show Mom! Maybe she'll give it a name!"

"Oh?" Anna smiled, leaning her head against her hand, elbow propped on the table. Her fingers ran through the boy's hair, and she sighed. "Well, let's wait till you get home, hm?"

He nodded, looking around. "Are we not going home now?"

The women eyed each other silently the moment he said that. "Well…" _How should I even begin?_ She continues to caress Olaf's hair, gazing at him with the softest, motherly eyes… and God, she wished she didn't have to feel regret or else, this would've been so much easier. "We want to have a talk with you, buddy."

"We?" Olaf looked between the both of them, eyebrows furrowed in worry. Slowly, he cowered into a ball, shoulders tucked upwards. "M-Mama, am I in trouble?"

Anna immediately shook her head. "No, God, no… of course not." She paused for a silent moment. "Olaf, remember when I told you Mom got tired of… being with me?"

"Uh-huh…" he said timidly, and only when Meg extended a hand to Anna… he turned to his teacher. There wasn't any other way. She held the brunette's hand."Mama, what are you doing…?"

 _This is it._ Anna opened her mouth… but those words that she had been practicing all this time - left her mind immediately. She couldn't do it. Tears rested on the corner of Anna's eyes, and she gazed down, shutting them. Olaf shouldn't see her cry. And Anna… shouldn't show a sign of any weakness.

"Olaf, look at me," Meg started. Curious, Olaf turned to his teacher. _Thank god._ "Your mother and I… we've been friends for a long time, you see. You see us every day together, talking and laughing. And you know what? What did I tell you today about friendships?"

He gazed up at the ceiling. "Oh… that there are more types of things than friendships? Like m… marriage!"

Meg chuckled. "Yes, exactly like that. But between friendships and marriage, there are lovers who are not ready for marriage yet."

"Um…" Olaf hummed with uncertainty, looking at his mother. "Mama?"

Anna merely smiled, and in a way, she wasn't sure how to convey what she wanted to say. Perhaps, she was felt sorry for the boy, but in the end, she realized any parent would feel sorry for putting themselves first, rather than their child. "Olaf," she whispered. "Do you Miss Johnson?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, I like her too. But… not in a way that you like her." _Is this the best way I can explain this to him? Anna, you are horrible._ She gulped. "Miss… well, Meg and I… we're together."

Olaf seemed to have been taken aback by that, his eyebrows furrowing in a way that… Anna never would've thought they would. Or perhaps, she had never seen Olaf in such heartbreak… not after she left their home. The boy looked between the two in silence, and both women were smiling warmly, almost… like they would convince the boy if they continued to look like that. "W-What about Mom?"

Anna sighed, nodding. _I get it. I can't leave her. But I have to._ "Just like Mom, who enjoys the company of Uncle Hans -"

"No! Mama, no!" Olaf immediately got up, stomping his foot on the ground. He pushed his mother away, and just like that, Anna could feel her own self shattering. Three words… of rejection from her child, and it was enough to make Anna's voice crack as she tried her best to stop herself from weeping.

Meg stood up as well, coming to his side. "Olaf -"

"No, don't touch me!" The boy screamed, glaring at his mother. "Mama, I don't like it!"

Anna took in a shaky breath, crawling towards him, and at least… the boy let Anna touch him. She held his arms tightly, gazing down in shame. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, Olaf. Mama… Mama is a bad, bad person -"

Olaf shook his head, shaking himself away from his grip. His cheeks began to color red, staining itself with tears. "I want Mom and Mama back together! I'm tired of this!"

"Olaf, stop -"

"I-I hate you!" A second hadn't even passed yet, and Olaf had quickly slipped out of his mother's grip and ran out of the room.

"Olaf!" Anna yelled, but she knew the boy wasn't going to come back. 'I hate you' he said… That was the first time Anna had even heard that word. Her heart shattered, and she eyed the opened door widely, in shock… and in fear. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she couldn't even feel the warmth that surrounded her when Meg hugged her. "Oh God… what have I done…?"

"Anna, Anna, look at me." Meg sat right in front of her, hands holding her cheeks. "You did nothing wrong. He's having a tantrum, okay -"

Anna grasped the woman's shoulder and looked over her. "N-No, I… I-I gotta get him back…"

"Anna -"

The redhead stood up, grabbing her boy's stuff. "I-I should… I should never have done this."

"Hey." Meg stood in front of her once more, caring eyes staring at her that even Anna didn't care to look at. "It's not your fault. I…" She licked her lip, hand caressing on Anna's arm. "I want you to be happy. If you anything… call me when you talk him through, alright?"

She knew Meg would say this. And as much she wanted to believe that this wasn't her fault - that this… was necessary - it didn't feel like it. If Olaf had gotten hurt… it was going to be on her. She only silently nodded, accepting - in reluctance - of Meg's kiss on her forehead before leaving. Anna didn't even give her girlfriend the pleasure to say those three loving words, nor look at her in the eyes. It wasn't Meg's fault. It was only a suggestion…

Anna… was only mad at herself, is all.

Knowing that Olaf had probably ran outside, Anna quickly followed through. She didn't want him to get cold - still unable to disregard what he said. The moment she got out of the school, Olaf… was sitting by the steps, arms crossing. In the background, she can hear the boy weep silently as well. Perhaps… it really was her fault.

The woman walked slowly towards him, running her fingers through his hair. "Olaf, come on, let's get in the car."

Surprisingly, Olaf did just that - just… more angrily. And while they did just that with Olaf sitting in the passenger seat, Anna wasn't able to drive yet. She wanted to talk. She turned on the lights, turning to gaze at the boy sitting beside her, sulking.

"Olaf -"

"Hmph." He looked to the side window.

For a moment, Anna contemplated whether she should be talking to Olaf, but… she was his parent. She needed to make him understand, no matter how angry he was. "Honey… I know you're angry at me. You are young, I don't expect you to understand why Mama and Mom did the things that were done," she spoke softly, caressing his hair. Somehow… it made Olaf loosen his tense posture a little. "But sometimes… in order to be happy, we have to find happiness with another person."

Olaf let out a huff. "Mama, you weren't happy?"

Good, he's talking to me. She shook her head. "Sometimes, when you aren't happy… you want to hide with a smile and pretend to be happy for other people. In Mama's case… I wasn't happy being without your mother. I… had to respect her decision though. And your teacher was always there for me, so I found happiness through her."

Still, with the same expression from before, Olaf turned to her. "But I don't like that…"

Anna tilted her head. "Now, you're going to have to tell me why, so I can understand too."

The boy shook his head. "It's just… I miss Mama and Mom together… Am I gonna be left behind?"

"Oh God, no, Olaf…" She leaned in, kissing his forehead. "Baby, we would never leave you behind, you know that. I… I just want to say I'm sorry. For everything."

While sniffling, the boy tenderly held onto his mother's hand. "Mama, I just… want you to be home again."

And it was just… something that Anna couldn't say yes to. Elsa didn't want her home. _Elsa didn't want her._ So for Olaf to ask… _demand_ her to come home just made Anna, even more, angrier at herself. She had to come to the realization that it wasn't just her own fault… but Elsa's as well. Being so blinded? Being so… selfish that they couldn't even see their son crying for them? It wasn't anything that Anna and Elsa planned on. But neither… did they plan the fact that Elsa couldn't have a child in the first place.

"I know, sweetheart. I'm sorry I can't be home… But one day, I will be -"

"When? You always say that!" Olaf pouted, crossing his arms. "You big liar, Mama! Big fat liar!"

* * *

It had been a week since Hans came home, but he was here. By then, Olaf was already being picked up from school, and Hans had just gotten up to the second floor for a shower. Elsa, as always, was getting ready for dinner, trying her best not to show the pain that was her back. But in the end… it wasn't going to matter if it was going to happen again. Elsa wasn't going to let it happen again - but who was to say she was strong either?

Upstairs, Elsa could hear the shower faucet being turned off, and the door opening. Hans came walking out with his body in full view, his lower half covered in a white towel. Hearing him walk down to her, Elsa simply ignored, until she felt his arm wrapped around her waist, lips kissing her neck. "Mm, beautiful. Smells good. Food… and you."

Elsa smiled, nodding, barely able to get away from his grip.

"Hey, hey." He grabbed her wrist immediately. "Are you alright?"

The woman nodded. "Yeah, just… tired."

"Tired?" Hans frowned. "Doing what?"

"Look, Hans. It's been a long day. Just… I want you to just eat dinner and go home -"

He squinted his eyes. "Why? You don't want me here?"

"Hans -"

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for what happened. I should… I should never have yelled. It was my fault."

Elsa wasn't sure if she wanted to accept that, because she knew… she knew everything that he had said was all intention… and filled with anger and jealousy, no matter how many times she tried to tell him that none of what he said was true, and no matter how many times he would say he wasn't jealous. Bullshit. But in a way, she couldn't be honest with him either. She hadn't told him about her back - hadn't told him that the way he pushed her… hurt her. It wasn't his intention to hurt her, she knew… but a part of her was scared.

"Hey…" She felt a hand caress her wrist, eyes softening up on hers. Elsa didn't respond. And only when she didn't… Hans got more irritated. He clicked his tongue and pulled away. "I don't want to be like this. You can't always act like this -"

The doorbell rang. And before, Hans could even continue, Elsa needed the distraction and head to the door. She tried her best to put on the happiest mask of a face, and opened it… "Hi, buddy -"

… only to have Olaf push through her and run up the stairs. _What…?_

It was odd of him. Hans slowly came up to her from behind, and Anna… just stood by the entrance, with a face full of regret. "Anna…?"

"Anna, how are you?" Hans smiled, nodding to the boy that had run up the stairs. "Uh… is that normal?"

The redhead merely stayed quiet as she looked between the two… and Hans' naked body. She winced, shaking her head, and looked at Elsa instead. "I.. God, I made a mistake…"

"A mistake…?" She looked at Hans, and that was a complete signal that he had to go away. And so he did. "W-What do you mean, 'a mistake'?"

"God, I…" She placed her hand on her forehead, looking away. "I-I told him I was in a relationship with Meg."

The blonde raised her eyebrows in question, arms crossing. "You _told_ him."

"Yeah! I-I was… I _thought_ I had to. Meg suggested it, but… it's not her fault. I couldn't just keep it secret. I thought the sooner he knows, the better. Look, could you just talk to him?"

The defeated sigh made Elsa wonder if it was even worth convincing Olaf that they were okay. Surely, by now… he knew what was going on, but the little boy inside of him just didn't want to insist that things… were okay. She let out a deep sigh, leaning against the doorway. She nodded, but… it wasn't a nod full of promises. "Sure, I will."

"Oh, thank you." Anna clapped her hands together in thanks. "One more thing… Just tell him I love him."

"I will." She paused. "Well, it's late, and I know you… don't want to be here with him so -"

"Hey, did he… I mean, did you two…" Anna squinted. "He's half-naked and all…"

Elsa didn't quite understand what she was trying to say, but after a few seconds of staring strangely at Anna's suggestive expression, she nearly wanted to throw up. A hot blush immediately painted her cheeks. "Oh God, no! He was showering, Anna!"

The redhead sighed in relief, taking a step back. "Sorry, sorry. It's private stuff, yeah, I know. Glad to hear it, though. I take that back. Okay, I'm gonna… I'm gonna go. Um, really, tell him I love him?"

Elsa nodded. "Of course."

Silently, she watched her ex-wife get in her car and drive. For once, just this once, Elsa wanted something other than for Anna to be here. It wasn't because she was embarrassed to ask if Anna wanted to stay - she didn't want Anna to stay, as a matter of fact. Neither did she want Anna to leave.

Being alone with Hans, especially with Olaf in the house… made her feel some type of way.

But how could she tell Anna how she felt? How could she allow Anna's heart to be broken once more, knowing that even though they were with other people… they still had a heart to care and, in a way, love each other?

She shut the door, hearing her boyfriend come back down all dressed up. She faced the door, head against the wood.

"I checked on him, by the way." He groaned, stretching on the couch. "You should probably talk to him. He seems mad at you too."

Elsa nodded. "I know. I will." She didn't want to face him, but she could feel those eyes leering at her like a leopard.

"You know… I can tell the difference."

"What?"

Hans shrugged. "Oh, just… the way you look at her, and when she's gone, your sunshine smile is all gone. I know I'm not her, but… I also have a sense of dignity too."

 _This is ridiculous._ "Hans, if you don't want to be here, you can leave, you know?" Elsa crossed her arms against the wall. Perhaps, she shouldn't have said that, but a burst of adrenaline and anger got the better of her.

"Leave?" The man stood tall and strong, his expression tensing up. "You think I'm saying all of this because I'm jealous?" He strode close to her, his height looming over her. And all Elsa could feel… was his presence as she cornered against the wall - the only thing that could keep her together. "You think I'm saying this because it's her? Your ex? No… Elsa, I don't want to do this in front of your son, beautiful… but you clearly don't understand how it feels to come here every day, just to see you brighten up a smile for her."

Elsa pushed the man's chest to give them some space. "That's unfair, Hans. She is Olaf's mother -"

"AND I AM YOUR MAN!" he yelled, grasping the woman's wrist, slamming it against the wall. The woman barely had time to wince and act in shock. And as much as this hurt Elsa… she wasn't going to let this hurt Olaf as well. She looked over his shoulder - watching Olaf's room, his door closed, knowing… that he would come out any second. She wasn't going to allow that to happen. "You think it's fair for me…? You can't give me the same attention as you do with your wife…" He tilted his head, leaning in.

 _God, please don't come out, please don't come out._

The woman began to breathe heavily, head tilted up when she felt lips on her neck, hand… reaching under Elsa's shirt on her waist. She shut her eyes, tears immediately squeezing out. Her muscles tensed. Nothing good was going to come out of this. "Hans… you know me," she gritted her teeth together.

"That's the thing… _I don't know you_ ," he whispered into Elsa's ear. "So now… you're going to let me know you better. Much better."

* * *

 _A/N: now I know what you're all thinking. I'm an asshole. I understand this may not be the path that people expect this fic to be, but I have said, the previous chapter that this fic is going to take a sharp turn. At first, while writing this, I didn't intend to write the last scene like how I thought I wanted to write. But I realized, the sooner people know, the better. But this is chapter 23, and it's already pretty late into the fic. I have hinted the abuse, and it is subtle, but not subtle enough for people to let it pass._

 _While I understand that this may not be what you all expected, I don't think I have to apologize for this. This is going to be a major plot point, but definitely, it will not go as further as this chapter is going to get. I hope everyone understands, and I hope everyone will be able to continue along this journey with me!_


	24. Chapter 24: Grateful For You

_a/n: lock yourself in a room when you're reading the first part ;)_

* * *

 _Furniture crashed down. Clothes were left in trails on the floor. Scratches burned red on their skin. Their moans were muffled as lips were pressed against each other, and all… was well._

 _Everything happened so fast when she was thrown on the bed, and the perfect, beautiful girl knelt between her legs, back arching as she took off her shirt and bra. Anna was completely breathless, speechless… and, wow, her body didn't have a single flaw._

 _Everything happened faster when Anna had gotten on top of her, worshiping her body with kisses. The moans that replied back to every kiss and every touch made Anna bolder and bolder - except, in the back of her head, she knew this was… all new to her. She tried not to feel nervous, but god, if she messed up and hurt Elsa, she would never be able to show her face anymore to her._

 _As she kissed her neck and felt Elsa's fingers burrowing through her hair, she had an idea: tell her that this is her first time._

 _I mean, probably, Elsa's done this before. What if she laughs at me?!_

" _U-Uh…" Anna sat up on Elsa's stomach, licking her lip. From here… wow, she could just see the flushing of Elsa's cheeks, the way her chest heaved with every breath, the way her blue eyes dilated with desire, the way her arms were above her head. She swallowed._ _She's enjoying this this much…?_

" _What?" Elsa breathed, opening her eyes._

 _Shit._ " _If… if anything doesn't feel good… tell me?"_

 _Elsa arched her brows, immediately holding in her laughter. "Anna, are you…"_

 _She blushed. "I-I know! I just… I wanna make sure so I-I don't do anything wrong."_

" _That's cute." Elsa caressed her freckled cheek with the back of her knuckle._

 _Now that was something Anna didn't understand. "C-Cute?"_

" _I'm your first. That's extremely cute. And don't worry…" Elsa sighed and arched her back … and grabbed onto Anna's wrist with one hand and palmed her breast with the other. Anna felt her body tense up and her, breath hitched. The way Elsa gazed at her… with her most beautiful feline-like blue eyes from the bottom was the most erotic thing Anna had ever seen. "I can teach you."_

 _Anna gaped like an idiot and let out a half moan, half nervous chuckle. "T-Teach - uh, h-how teach?"_

 _She realized Elsa wasn't going to answer when she instead took Anna's handing her own… and felt Elsa's tongue licking the tip of her fingers. It took her breath away. Each second that passed… every moment felt like torture. At the same time, like a dream._

 _Elsa, this beautiful blonde woman, who she had picked up from the club… had Anna's fingers in her mouth. Shivers ran down her spine, and all Anna could let out was "Jesus…"_

 _Instinctually, she leaned down to kiss those precious lips, and shifted down to kiss her precious slender neck, and her full bare chest… and her cute little perked nipple._

 _An unmistakable sigh escaped from Elsa's lips. Anna could feel her writhing beneath her, could feel her warmth as her tongue flicked her nipple… but, she didn't feel emboldened enough to do more. … She barely mustered the courage to look up into Elsa's eyes._

 _The ecstasy in Elsa's expression, the way her cheeks flushed… fueled her. Anna's hands slowly fell to Elsa's waist, sliding down to raise her thighs to Anna's hips. She hummed, grateful that she was able to be with such a beautiful girl, satisfied… that she was able to make this girl feel this way._

" _Anna…" Elsa whispered. Her fingers gently plowed through Anna's hair, and as Anna leaned away, the caress of those fingers in her hair… slowly danced down to her middle._

 _She realized right then… that tonight, she wasn't going to act like this innocent college girl… she was going to treat her lover right. She was going to pleasure her from head to toe… inexperienced to be damned._

 _She licked her lips, breathed against her snowy white skin, and all was quiet… as they gazed at each other. Anna knew - she knew how much they lusted after each other. They were young… impressionable… but, at least, they knew what they wanted._

 _Hearing the sigh of her name being called out woke Anna's inner demon, and it was enough for Anna to gather the courage and give Elsa all she had. All that she was._

 _A kiss on her chest once more. Another just below. Another… on her arching, flat stomach…_

 _And all Anna could sense was the fragrance of her flowery perfume - the aroma of her natural scent too._

 _Anna could feel her stomach coil with excitement, fear, and greed. She stared… carefully taking off Elsa's panties. The warmth emitted between Elsa's legs, how Elsa sighed, even at the slightest touch of her fingers made Anna's heart leap to her throat._

 _She was in awe. The beauty of those pink petals just inches in front of her, the way Elsa willingly widened her legs… her hands searched to hold onto Anna's hair and it was the most foreign, yet sensual experience ever. And she was going to enjoy it._

 _Breathless, her mouth gaping, she gazed, completely hypnotized by the sway of Elsa's hips, yearning for something… more. Anna hadn't even laid a single finger on her yet. How could she? The petals between her legs… were perfect. Touching it would only soil what was Elsa's._

" _Anna…"_

 _She felt a hand grasp her wrist and force her palm right against her perfection, and all Anna could feel was wetness. This hot wetness that even Anna could feel between her legs as well. Elsa must've been very impatient for it._

 _She let out a shaky breath and licked her lips. The desire to taste her was unbearably strong… and the temptation to ravage her left Anna's body tingling. Holding back now? She couldn't have._

" _God, you are so beautiful…" Anna whined. She couldn't bear it anymore - this heavy weight of lust that she holding back immediately collapsed. "How do you want me to…"_

" _Here…" Elsa grasped two of Anna's fingers, their tips placed right against her engorged clit. "Gently…"_

" _Gently…?" Anna teased. She could barely hold back her teasing smile… knowing, she wanted to hear what Elsa wanted. Knowing what Elsa could do to her. And when Elsa merely stayed quiet, she smiled. "Like this…?"_

 _And gently… she caressed her clit, prompting an immediate satisfied sigh. It was barely a touch, yet, Elsa was already singing to her like a bird in the morning. But Anna wanted to play a little… to know Elsa a bit more. Slowly, she placed kisses on her inner thigh and breathed in the scent of her lover. "Mm…" she moaned, teal eyes darkened in lust, paying very, very close attention to her girl. Her lips gaped in an open kiss, fingers… no, they weren't going to stay on the cute little button. Her fingers tingled for exploration… and so they caressed in an up and down motion against Elsa's lower wet lips._

 _It was enough though - Elsa… sang a song of pleasure._

 _And the more her lips worshiped her thigh… the more she desired to taste her. The more… Anna wanted to be hers._

 _She stuck her tongue out just slightly, and she lowered her eyes at the light patch of hair covering her wetness - and even touching it… felt moist as well. She hummed. Everything… felt good, and Anna wanted her to feel good._

 _She licked her lips, breathing into her scent, her chin slightly caressing the hair between her legs. "Would you…"_

 _Elsa let out a small whimper, looking down. Silently, there was an approving nod… and an approving hand began to finger through Anna's hair. "Please…" she pleaded._

 _A soft blush arose. "Teach me…?"_

 _The blonde chuckled a little, nodding. "Flatten out your tongue… gentle, purposeful strokes…"_

 _And Anna did as she was told, silently. She removed her fingers, flattened out her tongue… and the taste of Elsa's clit completely overwhelmed her. She couldn't even pay attention to the gasps that followed._

 _Purposeful strokes… purposeful… god, she tastes so…_

 _Her hands immediately pushed open Elsa's legs more. Gasps slowly became moans - loud, agonized moans, and the hand that once petted her hair was grasping them for dear life._

" _Ah - Oh, Anna..." she moaned, feeding into Anna's sense of pride. She was doing it. She was making Elsa feel good, even if she wasn't sure whether she was doing this correctly or not. But all Anna could focus on, relish on, was her taste. She must be doing something right, yes. So she continued… purposeful, long, slow strokes. Strokes that she realized were driving Elsa insane._

 _She felt a tightening grip on her hair, and with a hand pressed on Elsa's stomach… she could feel the pleasant twitching. The twitchings that were for her._

 _Prideful, she opened her eyes, mouth still kissing Elsa's treasure… and it was only then that she realized Elsa was staring right back at her. Blue eyes glistened, half-lidded, cheeks flushed, lips previously colored pink._

 _She hummed again, listening to Elsa humming along with her._

" _I thought… Anna, o-oh, I thought you were a virgin…"_

 _Anna wanted to laugh but she was too occupied… and finally, with the gentle hand that caressed her cute tummy, she let her middle finger gather the love and desire in a form of heated wetness. A few purposeful strokes again, and slowly, it intruded between the walls that squeezed her finger ever so tightly._

 _Elsa gasped as she raised her back, and Anna slowly pulled her finger out. She licked her lip. Nothing was going to waste. "Well… guess I was just born a natural…" Anna kissed her inner thigh, leaning into her hand. "You're so hot… so beautiful. I'm a lucky girl." In and out her finger moved, making sure that with each drag she pinched the upper wall with ease._

 _Elsa barely managed a chuckle between moans. Those moans got a little louder each time, and each word seemed to be more incoherent than the last. "F-Fuck… fuck me, Anna…"_

 _She said my name again…_

 _Anna was in complete awe, and she wasn't going to waste the chance to please Elsa. Her strokes became a little faster, a little harder, and it was enough to make Elsa scream, enough to make the bed rock and creak._ _God damn._

 _This was the first time Anna was able to have sex with someone, was able to offer herself to someone… and that someone was giving her the time of her life, and it could not have been any better. Hope slowly slid into Anna's heart, and she hoped… that night, they could do this for hours and hours on end. No one could get enough of that pleasure-filled face._

" _A-Anna, Anna!" the blonde screamed, breaking Anna out of her trance. She grabbed Elsa's chin and pressed their foreheads together. Their eyes met, noses touched… and Anna couldn't help but hold her breath - or… the way Elsa danced in bed was what made her lose her breath in the first place. A hand caressed her cheek, which Anna slowly took in her hand as well. "A-Anna…" Her hips began to thrash even more. "I-I -"_

" _Shh, I've got you. You got it… you feel so good, Elsa. I want to see it… I want you to look at me. There we go…"_

 _That did it for Elsa. The scream was silent, and all Anna could hear was a strained whimper. Her pale body though… thrashed like a fish out of the water as her hands grasped at anything they could, only to finally take their place on Anna's back._

 _She didn't mind. She didn't mind the nails marking her skin. She didn't mind how Elsa leaned into her neck, teeth scraping against her ear just to hold back her moan - feeling how fast and heavy she was breathing was enough. They were both satisfied, and finally, Elsa had stopped moving._

 _Even Anna knew, her whole body felt like a blob of jelly. She chuckled, slowly pulling her finger out. Elsa didn't even react, her eyes completely closed, head turned to the side. A glistening streak of sweat traveled down her slender neck, and Anna treated herself with her own reward - clean up her own fingers with her tongue, then licking the sweat off of Elsa's neck._ _Mm, salty._

 _It prompted only a shiver, which… Anna couldn't beg for more of._

" _Did that… feel good?"_

 _Elsa barely stretched out a smirk, head turning to face Anna. Ah, there was that sexy, sexy charismatic look of hers. Her arms slowly stretched to wrap Anna around the neck. 'What do you think, silly?"_

 _Anna thought for a moment. "That maybe… you… were… faking it?"_

 _She raised her eyebrows. "Really."_

" _Sorry, bad joke." Anna shrugged, smiling clumsily. "I mean, maybe -"_

" _Goodness grace, come here and kiss me."_

 _Anna blinked. "But I… I licked your -"_

" _Wow, do you think I am that shallow?" Elsa flicked a finger on Anna's forehead gently. "Anna, you made me feel so incredible. I've never felt that way in my life. You made me feel so warm, safe, and… and desirable. Who would want someone as pale as me, as boring as me to be their girlfriend? Let me kiss you. Let me… be the only thing that you will always look forward to seeing, to thinking, for the rest of your life."_

 _Anna raised her eyebrows. "T-The rest of my life?"_

" _It's a stretch." Elsa brushed her nose with Anna. "But I'm trying to be sentimental here. Is it working?"_

" _You're acting like the last ten minutes was not -"_

" _Anna, kiss me."_

 _Elsa… said that in such a soft voice, yet… the tone was heavy with such urgency that the only thing Anna did was lean in. Kissed her, eyes closed… warmth spread and God, Anna could not be happier. This… was going to be their whole life now, as Elsa had said. This was a promise._

* * *

She rubbed her fingers around her left ring finger. It was comforting, but even for something like this to feel so comforting… felt so empty. She ran her finger on her abused neck… her thin collar.

Bruised lip. Disgusting, unwanted marks on her neck. Scratches on her body.

The man left the moment he had finished with her. Elsa had to hold herself up, make herself seem like a bigger person for Olaf's sake. But after what he had been doing... after what he did tonight… knowing what kind of man - and, she would dare say, he was never a man - how could anyone ever try to be brave? No… she had to give up her pride and dignity to protect her son that was so close to where it always happens. But thank God, he stayed in his room. Thank God, Hans was quiet. Thank God… Elsa was able to endure the pain and suffering.

It had been an hour since he had left. Elsa sat in her room, wearing her disheveled clothes. She stared blankly at the wall, reflecting on herself. She was wrong. All this time… when she hated the marriage for simply being so _boring_ , now she realized… at least Anna cared for her. Cared for her like a queen, and Elsa took advantage of that.

She let out a shivering sigh as she brought her hands up to her face. Tears weren't coming out, but she didn't deserve to cry. Really, she deserved to be punished, and perhaps… this was God's plan to punish her for taking advantage of this beautiful girl who had given all her love and warmth. And while Hans was someone… fun and a little more adventurous… well, she had given up on Anna's love and warmth, trading it in for a jealous, abusive bastard.

She sniffled, pulling her collar up to completely cover herself.

"Mom…?"

Elsa slowly turned to the doorway and saw her little boy with his head down, and big worried eyes gazing at her over a pouting mouth. In his hands was a first aid kit. "Hi, sweetie," she smiled, and somehow, she couldn't even manage to look positive. This was sad and humiliating. She didn't want Olaf to see her like this. She didn't want Anna to ever see her like this either.

But this wasn't the first time this had happened… and for Olaf to grab a first aid kit without being told to really was a sign that this family was completely dysfunctional.

Olaf slowly walked towards her, climbing on the bed with the box in his arms. His little hands cupped his mother's cheek. His eyes quickly became teary, and his cheeks puffed red.

Elsa merely smiled sadly. "Sweetie -"

"I-I'm not gonna cry. I'm a big boy." He sniffled, pulling out a bottle of alcohol and bandages. "I'm a b-big boy, so I can protect M-M-Mom and Mama." He wiped his tear with the back of his arm.

Without saying a word, Elsa observed her son lightly dabbing a bit of alcohol on a cotton ball before letting it touch Elsa's bruised lips.

She couldn't take this. He was only seven. A seven-year-old should never be able to see her mother like this… and should never have to witness the abuse she had to endure.

Hans… changed a lot. Olaf had liked him, Elsa had liked him… but she knew, he could never get over his jealousy of Anna.

She shut her eyes and let out a shaky sigh. "Olaf, baby…"

"Hm?" He placed a bandage on her wound.

"Please don't tell Mama about this when she picks you up from school."

Olaf pouted again. "But Mom -"

" _No, Olaf."_ She stared sternly at him. "Honey… I know it's hard. I…" Elsa sniffled, hands squeezing onto Olaf's thin arms. "I'm trying to protect you, okay? I love you. I love you so much, but you should never have to see your mother like this."

He crossed his arms, huffing. "No! I'm telling Mama!"

"Olaf -"

"I'm sick and tired of secrets!" He stomped his foot. "I'm telling Mama -"

"Olaf, listen to me!"

The boy immediately silenced himself in shock. Never once had Elsa raised her voice to him… and even she was shocked she would do that. Noticing tears already glimmering in his eyes, Elsa couldn't help but break down too.

She lowered her head in shame, guilt, and frustration, and she slowly pulled her son into a hug and a kissed him on his cheek. Her throat burned for holding back from crying but… she needed to do this.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart… I'm sorry…"

At that, almost like a toddler… Olaf wept loud and clear. His arms held his mother tightly around the neck. "Mama! I want Mama!" he cried… and yet, it was even more heartbreaking to know that he craved Anna's love more than her own.

She shut her eyes and squeezed out her tears, and laid her head on his small shoulder. "I love you, I love you so much…" she whispered to him. "To protect you and Mama, I need you to keep quiet about this okay?" She pulled the boy away from her, holding up her pinky. "Pinky promise?"

Olaf was reluctant, obviously. He wanted his mother home. He wanted his mother to protect him and Elsa… and Olaf couldn't do a thing. He frowned, eyebrows crossed, and he crossed his pinky with Elsa's.

The woman gifted him with a gentle smile. "Mom will be okay. We'll be okay."

* * *

"Mama, Mama!"

Anna had just entered the classroom to pick her son up from school, and let out a small grunt as the little man ran to hug her. "Oh jeez… you really are getting heavy." She chuckled, picking the little guy up to shower him with kisses. The classroom wasn't as empty as it usually was when Anna came, but she wanted to pick him up early to make him feel better about… yesterday. She even secretly got him cupcakes.

"It's what you get for telling me to eat a lot!" Olaf giggled.

 _Ah, that's right, huh?_ "And I won't apologize for that."

For some reason, Olaf seemed to be very happy. Anna put him down and looked up to Meg, who had her arms crossed, head tilted… and everything seemed all warm and spectacular when she noticed Olaf's bag in the cubby.

Anna raised an eyebrow. "Olaf, do you usually have a lot of notebooks in your bag?"

"Huh?" Olaf turned to look at his backpack. "Oh, oh! I forgot. Mom told me I can stay in your apartment for a week!"

 _What? All of the sudden?_ Anna was speechless. "Uh… yeah, of course - wait, did you really want to come home with me?" She swiped his hair back, and before his smiling lips could answer, Meg grabbed her arm and pulled her aside… well, outside of the classroom.

She shut the door, and all Anna could hear was an audible sigh. "What?" she questioned, whispering. "You know about this?"

"No, of course not, Anna." She bit her lip, leaning against the door. "I just have to tell you something, okay? This morning…" Meg let out a worrying breath, "Elsa didn't drop him off. "

 _What?_ Anna couldn't believe this. "Wait, what? What do you mean she didn't drop him off? Did she make him walk from the house -"

"No! Or… I hope not. Look, Olaf told me Elsa had to get to work -"

"She works at _home_ , Meg."

"That's beside the point. Anyway… don't you find that odd?" She caressed Anna's arm. "This is the first time she's done this? There's no note. There's nothing, but what Olaf told me. And now, he's saying he's going to stay at your place for a week?"

Anna didn't know what to make of this. She pinched the bridge of her nose. God… they weren't so young and youthful anymore. Sure, they were still in their late 20s but… today, Elsa was making these spontaneous decisions. It was unacceptable. "Okay, I… I will talk to her. I don't know what's going on either, but… she has been acting weird for the past few days. I hope she's okay."

"Yeah…" Meg nodded. "I do too." A silent pause filled the air for a moment, and Anna looked deep into Meg's eyes. "You know, if he's staying at your place for a week… do you think we can do something fun together this weekend with him?"

"Like what?"

She shrugged. "Amusement park. Movie? Anything, really."

She knew Meg would be down for some fun. The last thing she wanted was for Olaf to really see them being… intimate with each other. He was still young, and for Anna to be dating his teacher.. she didn't want him to think that showing affection was always okay. As much as she wanted to be comfortable with Meg… her first priority was her son. So she nodded. "Sure, but… we have to have some rules alright?"

Meg chuckled, kissing Anna's cheek. "Come on, I'm smart enough to know that that is yours and Elsa's son. Affection is out of the question, I got it."

* * *

The moment Anna arrived home with Olaf, he immediately turned on the television. In her home, there were no rules - except for a set time to sleep and do homework. The boy had already eaten a few cupcakes, and Anna was quickly preparing dinner. Tonight, they were going to have ravioli, and while Anna wasn't always the best of cooks, Olaf surely wasn't complaining either.

But before that…

She sighed, and gazed at the boy from the kitchen. She tapped on her phone to call Elsa, who picked up after a few beeps.

" _Hello?"_

"Hey…" Anna placed a hand on her forehead. "What's going on all of a sudden? Meg told me you didn't personally drop Olaf off at school and now he's staying with me for a week?"

On the other end there was a brief silence before a defeated sigh. " _I know it's sudden, Anna, but do this for me please?"_

"I mean, I will, but… at least, tell me why you are doing this? I don't mind, first of all - I think I needed some time with Olaf too, but -"

" _Look, he's been a good boy, and I wanted him to spend time with you too. He's been asking for this, for you to come home. The least I can do is let him stay with you for a week."_

 _Fair enough._ Anna looked down to her feet in contemplation. "Are you sure you're okay, Elsa?

" _Yes, don't worry about me. Have fun with Olaf, okay? If you need anything just call me."_

"You know I'll be spending time with Meg too, right?"

Again, silence filled the air. " _It'll be a good way for Olaf to get to know her. Look, I have to go. Make dinner. Have fun, alright?"_

Of course, Anna wasn't really going to force an answer out of Elsa if she didn't want to say anything. "Yeah. Take care." She hung up and put her hands on her hips. She glanced at her son, wondering what he - what _they_ were thinking and doing behind Anna's back to be so spontaneous. Well, that was alright. At least now Olaf was relaxed and happy again. "Olaf, would you like to help me with making dinner?"

The boy turned with an excited gasp, heading to the kitchen. "Yes, please! You know, my teacher said I make very good cookies!"

"Well, I'll be sure to give it a try when you make some again next time. Here, why don't you go wash your hands, and then we can cook together?" Anna smiled.

"Okay!"

As long as Olaf was here… well, everything all seemed alright, and Anna could relax a little just for her sweet, loving son.


	25. Chapter 25: Bending Backwards For You

_Nervousness crept through Elsa's body as she held tightly the small box behind her back. She trembled, and despite the deep breaths she was taking, her heart was still pounding._

 _It was their first year anniversary of dating each other, and as a celebration, they decided to go to Paris for a week. Anna was still in her senior year of college, waiting to graduate that Spring… and Elsa had enough money saved from her job that she decided, well, what better way to celebrate and treat Anna than to give her the trip of her life? Ah, and this was going to be the trip of their lives._

 _And as Anna continued to admire the Eiffel Tower, taking pictures with the camera that Elsa gifted her for her birthday, the blonde stood behind her, smiling._

" _Wow… you know, this might be a little cliche, but I get why this is such a romantic place." Anna mumbled, lowering her camera, eyes gazing up at the tower._

" _Is that so?" Elsa replied back from behind. "It's too bad it's our last day here."_

 _She huffed. "Couldn't we stay here a little bit longer?"_

 _Elsa stepped closer, her hand caressing Anna's arm, and she leaned down to kiss her lover's neck. "Sorry, beautiful. You still have school, remember?"_

" _Yeah, well, nobody cares about the syllabus week anyway." Anna continued to snap some more pictures. "Hmph. There are still some places I wanna go, you know?"_

" _We can go another time. Maybe for Christmas?"_

" _But it would be different."_

" _Different how?"_

 _Anna puffed her cheeks out. "It wouldn't be our anniversary. Plus, you know grandma and grandpa want me to come home to celebrate Christmas."_

 _Elsa chuckled. She knew Anna was always fond of traveling - seeing how her grandparents' home would always be decorated with postcards and pictures of famous places that Anna had never gone to at all. It was Elsa's plan to take her all over the world._

 _Anna was always happy though. Her parents passed away while she was still a child in a car crash, and all she had left were her grandparents. Now… she had Elsa._

 _There was an unspoken promise - that Elsa would give her the whole world, and it was a promise that she knew, Anna would have her keep._

 _Taking a deep breath, Elsa slowly let go of her girlfriend, and with Anna's back still towards her… she knelt down on the ground on one knee. A few people were staring, which gathered more attention, more mumbles… and even then, with Anna still busying herself with taking pictures, she also knew the crowd wouldn't give away the surprise._

 _She opened the box to reveal a diamond ring which shined in the afternoon daylight._

" _Hey, remember that place I was talking about yesterday? We should eat dinner there later. I'll pay."_

 _Elsa shook her head in amusement. "My money is yours. And, sure, we can go have dinner there."_

" _Oh! And we can come back here again when it's dark. It must look sooo beautiful at night."_

" _Of course," Elsa replied as she watched Anna turn towards her._

" _And then, maybe we can -" Anna's eyes widened, hands dropping the camera. Luckily, she had a strap around her neck. "... What…?"_

 _Ah, that was exactly the reaction Elsa was looking for, and while she wanted badly to weep out of happiness she realized she still had a speech to make. The crowd was getting bigger too… and the plaza fell silent._

" _Surprised?" Elsa asked, tilting her head._

 _Anna was barely able to contain herself, taking in a deep breath, her hand placed on her chest. "Oh God, Elsa, what are you -"_

" _I took you to Paris because I know you loved traveling. I took you to Paris because, no matter how cliche it is, it's amazing being here with my girlfriend. I thought a lot about this… and I realized, I love you so much, and we've been so strong, that I don't ever want to let you go. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want… Will you marry me?"_

* * *

It was odd. Four days had passed since Olaf started staying with Anna. These past four days… she hadn't heard from her ex-wife. Sure, there were some occasions where there were small conversations through text messages but, in the end, Anna would always be left on 'seen'. Not that it mattered, but… Elsa would never do that. Not abruptly anyway. Or perhaps, like she said, Anna still didn't know much about what the blonde was thinking.

But she took Elsa's advice - Olaf was going to know Meg a little better now. It was just… Olaf didn't seem quite fond of this relationship just yet. Anna understood though - he was also cautious about Hans, at first.

By the time, school ended for the evening, Anna decided that, perhaps, it would be a good idea for them to have dinner together at home, and it was a dinner that Meg would be cooking.

The sound of sizzling oil in a pan filled the room, but Anna and her son didn't care. They were busy competing with each other in a game of Mario Kart. Only… Anna had lost.

"God, when did you learn to be this good at this game?" Anna groaned, feeling her victorious son climbing right onto her lap.

"Hehe, I practice! Or Mama, you're just bad at the game." He puffed his chest out proudly, his tongue sticking out at her. _Oh, that did it, he just offended me!_

"Grrr, you little devil, you!" Her fingers immediately attacked Olaf's waist, prompting him to burst into laughter as his body squirmed. "I'm gonna get you for that!"

"Mama, mama, s-stop! Hahahaha!"

"I shouldn't even be letting you play video games so much!"

"M-Mama, please! Hahaha!"

"Anna, stop torturing Olaf, and come help me with dinner, please!" Meg yelled from the kitchen.

"I'll be right there!" The redhead smiled, kissing Olaf's cheek. "Alright, clean up all the games and get ready for dinner."

The boy giggled with delight, still lying on the floor to recover from the ambush of tickles.

For now… everything seemed so _normal._ But it was normal without Elsa, replaced by Meg. Standing beside her girlfriend, hands holding her waist, Anna laid her head on her shoulder. "Hi, thanks for cooking," she whispered, lips to her neck.

"It's my pleasure, beautiful. Just wait here, it'll be done in a minute."

"Sure," Anna replied, rocking themselves side to side slowly… and the silence filled Anna's mind. It was pleasant, of course. But oddly… no matter how normal this seemed, there was a sense of longing. This was what she and Elsa were supposed to be. Olaf would be in the background playing… and they would be making a lovely dinner for the evening with a smile on their face. Instead, her evenings were always filled with heartbreak and regrets.

Anna gazed distantly at the food, her smile fading. _This could've been us, Elsa…_

"Anna?"

The woman blinked, realizing Meg had turned to look at her. Concern was written all over Meg's face, prompting Anna to pull away immediately, chuckling to herself ever so bitterly.

"Sorry, you were saying?" There was a small moment where she realized Meg knew exactly what was going on in her head. All Anna could do was gaze down in shame, and perhaps, it would just be better if she didn't meet Meg's eyes.

Honestly, Anna thought she had gotten over it because Meg pushed her to get over it. But, no. Despite being with someone else, she still worried about Elsa's well-being, especially now. She sighed, nodding to herself, her hands wrapped around her body. Meg squeezed her girlfriend's arms for comfort. "Thinking about her again?"

Anna nodded. "Sorry."

Leaning in, Meg kissed her forehead. "Nothing to be sorry about. I get it… sometimes, you just have to reminisce about the good old days."

 _The good old days, huh? Funny._ Anna bit her lip, looking down the hall as Olaf came out of the bathroom. "Look, we can talk about this later. Olaf's hungry."

"Yeah, hey -" Just as the redhead moved to get the plates, she felt a tug from Meg's hand on her arm. "I love you, you know?"

Love, huh? It was something Anna had always thought she didn't deserve. Not yet, at least. She hadn't done anything to deserve that love… and especially from Meg. Especially when all Anna would think about when she was around her… was her damned ex. She really needed to learn what it was like to love someone again.

She merely smiled in acknowledgment, mouthing, "I know."

"Mama, can we eat already?!" Olaf had already sat at the dining table.

"Yeah, just give us a second, baby!"

Meg began placing the food on the plates and handed it to Anna. "Here, careful, it's hot. The soup is for Olaf too."

It didn't take long until they were all properly seated at the dining table. In the background, Cartoon Network was still playing, taking all of Olaf's attention. The two women sat across from each other, eating quietly. Anna had almost lost her appetite after what just happened in the kitchen.

Meg hadn't noticed yet but the redhead was taking small glimpses of the two. Perhaps, she just wasn't used to this, but she completely hated the sight of Olaf and her interacting so… so well together.

Sure, she was his teacher. Sure, Olaf would always get good grades, and Meg was always impressed by him, but… love? Care? This was all supposed to be with Elsa.

"Olaf, do you want more rice?"

Olaf smiled tenderly to his teacher. "No thank you, Miss."

Meg mirrored his expression, running her fingers through his hair. "Olaf, do you want to do anything this weekend? Movie?"

The boy immediately turned from the TV to his teacher. "Really?! Movie? I wanna - I wanna see, uh… uh, F-Fro-"

The woman laughed tenderly, nodding. "Any movie you'd like." She paused, and just then, Anna's eyes met with Meg's. "Buddy, I… wanted to apologize for that day. To you and Mama."

A heavy silence filled the air, but Anna didn't care. She didn't care for the apology, but she knew Olaf still felt slightly uncomfortable with all that was happening these past few days. The boy gazed down to his hands, and both women had their eyes on him. Except… Anna didn't know what to say. She'd never knew what Olaf was thinking, how he was feeling, but she was always trying her best to make him happy. The thing was… sometimes, she didn't know what to do to make him happy - no toys, no other entertainment or treat, could satisfy him like it would other kids. He was such a peculiar boy, but Anna was happy to have such a wise kid in the family.

And right now, Anna wasn't thinking of anything else. _How can I make him happy now?_

"M… Miss Johnson…" He hunched over against his chair, cheeks pouting. "Do you like Mama a lot?"

Anna decided it really was for the best to stay silent and listen to them talk. She was curious about Meg's answer, even if she knew what her girlfriend would say. Her amused eyes picked up on Meg, raising an eyebrow, expectedly.

The brunette chuckled, nodding. "I do. I like her a lot. Maybe I like her more than you." She gently poked her finger on his chest, prompting a series of small giggles.

"You can't like her more than me!"

"Ah, I can't, can I?"

"Miss, why do you like her?"

 _Is this an interview?_ And almost like Meg knew what she was thinking, their eyes met once more, and she shrugged. "Well, there are a lot of reasons. I don't think I can tell them all to you."

"Then something off the top of your head!"

"Mm…" The teacher rubbed her chin, pretending to think thoroughly for this. "Ah, well, your Mama is kindhearted, selfless… and when she's sad, she doesn't always want to tell other people, but when I notice, I ask if she is. She will tell me. I think…" Meg bit her lip. "That makes me feel very special."  
"Special?"

Meg nodded. "Yeah. You see… people don't always tell others how they feel, because it makes them seem vulnerable and… weak. People don't want to look like that. They want to be big and strong, but in the end, they want people to care for them. They want people to listen." She sighed, "And when people are sad, Olaf, it can be too much to bear and impossible to cry for help. And that's where I come in, I had to rescue your Mama."

"Ooh…" Olaf nodded. "Like Superwoman? You can read minds?"

The woman threw her head back in laughter. "Yeah, kind of like that. Listen, I love your mother inside out. I love her flaws, her weakness… and sure, Mama doesn't quite enjoy having to be weak either - I don't think anyone would want to be weak - but when she is at her lowest point, I enjoy caring for her all day. Do you understand now, Olaf?"

"Uh-huh!" The cheerful buddy smiled as widely as he could, turning to his mother… just to have that smile fade. "Mama?"

Anna couldn't stand it anymore. Like a child - the happiest child in the world even - she wept as she covered her face with her hands, but the tears just continued to flow.

Hurriedly, Meg got out of her seat, her arm wrapped around Anna, her free hand grasping Anna's. "Hey… Hey, what's going on? Why are you crying…?"

 _That voice… that soft gentle voice… what did I do to deserve it?_

Anna couldn't stop. Her hands clenched onto her chest, head down… her body rocking back and forth, chest pounding. Listening to them both talk like that broke Anna's heart only to strengthen it every time Meg said a single sweet word about her.

Nobody… in a long time had thought of her this way. Nobody in her life would ever want to care for her at her lowest point. Elsa… Sure, they had times where they cared, loved, and helped each other, but when was the last time she remembered her taking her in her arms… telling her everything would be alright? Was their marriage always this bleak that none of these moments were ever memorable? And, yet, here Meg would say all this… and do all that for her. She wasn't used to this. As Meg spoke to Olaf she was reminded that this should've been Elsa. It should've been her that would take care of her at her lowest point, that would listen to her… that would make her feel _special._

 _And yet, it's not you who's looking at me like that._

And, every time, every single moment she thought of her being replaced by Meg… broke Anna even more.

She shook her head, wiping her tears with her arm, and she let out a bitter smile. "I'm just…" She turned to her lover and caressed her cheek. "I'm just incredibly happy."

Meg didn't mirror her expression. And Anna didn't need to even look to know that her son was worried too.

"Olaf, come here." The little boy immediately came to sit on Anna's lap, soft lips pressed on Olaf's forehead.

"Mama, are you okay…?"

She nodded, eyes closed… and she hugged them both tightly in her arms. "I love you. Both of you."

There was a moment of peace, which Anna eagerly embraced as well. And with the two being so quiet, it made her realize… perhaps, this was what love was. The worry… the care… and if Elsa had an ounce of that in her for Anna, perhaps… she wouldn't have to be reminiscing about her so often.

* * *

By eleven, Anna had already put Olaf to sleep in a small guest room with his teddy bear. It wasn't often that she would make her son sleep alone when they were together, but for a special day where Meg was staying over as well… well, things had to be switched up a bit. Thankfully, Olaf didn't mind having to sleep on his own.

Relaxation quickly befell the two lovers as they laid in bed, nude for each other. They didn't do anything - especially, Anna was afraid they would wake her son up if they ever did anything - but the skin to skin contact… that warmth emitted between them under the blanket was comforting. It was always comforting.

She felt fingers running through her hair as the two of them faced each other while laying on their sides. The moon was shining so brightly that night that Anna didn't have to try too hard to see her lover gazing at her kindly.

Anna smiled back, leaning her cheek to Meg's hand. "What?" she whispered.

"Nothing."

She giggled. "Then why are you staring at me like that?"

Meg shrugged. "I was thinking about what I said before. How you reacted… I can't believe I would say this, but… it's how I'd imagine you react. A big crybaby."

Anna pouted, nudging at the brunette's stomach with her fist gently. It didn't help that both of them were laughing at the little joke. "Oh shut up! You don't get to say these things and not expect me to cry about it."

"I know, I know." Meg sighed. "It's just… I don't know, I always liked your raw emotions, Anna. I realize… sometimes, you have this look in your eyes, and I know, you're always thinking about where you went wrong, what did you do to hurt Elsa… to make her leave." She pointed a finger right against Anna's chest where her heart laid. "You have a beautiful heart, and some people can't see that, but I do. I like that about you."

 _There she goes again, huh?_ "Are you trying to make me cry again? What is this, 'Make Anna's Crying Great Again' day?" Anna pouted, only to feel her lover poke her puffed cheeks too.

"Maybe. I can't be sentimental?"

"The last time someone ever tried to be sentimental, my heart got broken."

"Mmm…" Meg leaned in, her nose brushing against Anna's, and with a careful touch… their lips kissed. "It's too bad. I heal people with sentimentality."

She smirked at that, unable to recognize whether this was a joke or for real. "We'll see about that."

"Oh? Is my girlfriend questioning my feelings for her?" Meg slowly grabbed onto Anna's waist below the comfy blanket, flipping the two until Meg was on top of her… and the shocked redhead completely froze beneath her. But it wasn't long until Anna relaxed with a raised eyebrow, feeling Meg's perfectly cute nose tapping on her own. The fingers that held onto Anna's waist slowly made its way above to her chest, to her neck… and finally, it came to caress Anna's cheek. "Maybe…" she whispered, tongue licking her own lips, head tilting… and Anna was ready for whatever that was about to happen, "Maybe I should show you how grateful I am for you…?"

That whisper… that whisper was all Anna needed to feel more heat enveloping them both. And while Anna thought she would be nervous… well, knowing Meg… knowing she would want every chance that she could get to show her affection to Anna, the redhead just wasn't surprised anymore. She was always anticipating. Waiting.

She chuckled when she felt warm fingers wrapping around her wrists, placing above Anna's head. Those eyes… those beautiful eyes that Anna was staring into showed no sign of regret or hesitation. _That's the Meg I know._ "What did we just say about affection?"

"Mmm…" Meg ran her thumb around Anna's tender pink lips… and all Anna could do was watch. "You better stay quiet then, huh…?"

Warm hands began to crawl down her body, grasping Anna's legs, and Anna… Anna had given up. Her chest heaved with each slow breath, with every little kiss and breathe tickling the skin of her neck -

"Mama…"

The two women immediately turned to the door, eyes widen.  
"Shit…"

"Oh my god -!" Anna whispered, and it didn't even take a second before the two separated in horror, both holding the cover above her chest. The young boy stood by the doorway, rubbing his tired eyes, still oblivious of what was happening. _Fuck, fuck, fuck._

Meg, on the other hand, was just as shocked. Though… more quiet, her fingers holding tightly on the comforter. Either way, both of them knew this never should've happened, and they let it. Slowly, Meg reached over to the floor to grab an oversized shirt, hand still holding onto the blanket to cover her bare chest.

Anna immediately nudged her. "Give me one too…"

"I don't see one on the floor," Meg chuckled.

"Damn it, that's not funny!" She gritted her teeth, watching as her baby walked up to them.

"It's a little funny," she smirked.

"Mama, what are you doing?" Olaf tilted her head. Thank God, they didn't have the lights on while doing… that. "Why are you naked?"

Anna flushed, feeling Meg scoot herself apart from her lover. She could explain thousands of things to him, regarding her mother, Meg, marriage… but, oh God, this was the last thing Anna ever wanted to answer. "Uh… sleeping? Mama was hot, that's all."

"Oh, yeah, your mother was _hot_ , definitely -"

" _Olaf_ , what are you doing up?"

"Mm…" Olaf climbed up between the two women and decided to lay his head against Anna's chest, his other arm hugging Marshmallow tightly. It was a first that Olaf seemed to ignore the fact that his mother was naked… nor did he mind that Meg was laying beside both of them. She raised her eyebrow and rubbed Olaf's tiny back, up and down… and she caught Meg's gaze. Unfortunately, even his teacher wasn't sure what was up. "It was noisy…" he murmured.

"N-Noisy, huh?" That gaze turned to another glare, prompting Meg to look away, shifting herself back to lay down. The amused expression Anna had caught a glimpse of said it all. _God, I should never have made her promise something that she can't even keep on her own._ "Did we bother you? Hm?" she whispered as she pecked little kisses on his forehead.

"Mm… no," Olaf yawned. "Maybe…"

"Sorry, sweetheart. You can sleep with us for tonight, alright?"

He nodded lazily against her chest. "Mama…?"

"Hm?"

"I had a nightmare again… but I was a big boy and chased off the nightmare…"

Anna stayed silent, turning over to see how Meg was reacting… only to see the worrisome expression from her as well. _Huh, that's the last thing I expected from her._ But her priority was her son… and she hated the fact that she was so preoccupied with talking to Meg that she didn't realize her son was having a scary dream. But… perhaps, this was a step forward for both of them.

Olaf was strong enough to deal with this, and Anna… well, perhaps, she didn't have to worry about her boy all the time. _It's just… I will always worry about my family._

With a bitter smile, almost apologetic, she leaned in to kiss his forehead. "I'm proud of you, sweetheart. Do you feel okay? Want some milk?"

Olaf shook his head. "I just wanna be here…"

Anna felt her heart melt completely when she felt his arm barely wrapped around her shoulder. "Okay. Now, go sleep, okay?"

"Mhm."

Meg mirrored her expression, placing a hand on Anna's hand… the one on the small of Olaf's back. "As a reward, tomorrow we will take you to the movies, how about that? Like a family."

It didn't take long for Olaf to widen his smile, his eyes still closed. Tired or not, it didn't matter if Olaf wasn't saying anything… they both knew he was thankful. Grateful. And nobody else could compare to the pureness of Anna's child.

"Goodnight, baby. I love you."

* * *

"Whoa, Elsa, what the hell is with yo' get-up?"

Elsa stood in front of Tiana's front door, hands in the pockets of her leather jacket. Underneath, she wore a hoodie over her head, covered with a mask and sunglasses. The only thing visible and recognizable to others was the braid over her shoulder.

It had been a few days now. With Olaf in Anna's home… she felt somewhat relieved. He was away from danger… and Elsa… Elsa could act freely, however she liked. Or not. In the span of those few days the violence had gotten worse. Bruises and cuts were becoming more prominent. She began wearing fewer t-shirts and more sweaters to cover up everything. But even so, Elsa had been hurt so badly she was afraid of going out, of contacting anyone… because she had nobody to turn to.

Every day there was an apology, almost as empty as his heart, that would follow episodes of violence. Elsa learned this wasn't the life she had planned. She wanted to run… but the moment he had threatened to find her ex-wife… she stayed put. She had to.

Though, knowing that she needed _someone_ , she knew Tiana was always there for her to talk to.

She smiled, the corner of her lip hissing with pain from a bruise. Even if Tiana couldn't truly see what she looked like from underneath, Elsa had to at least show some gratitude. "Sorry, is it too scary for you?"

Tiana huffed, jutting her hip against the doorframe. In the background, her husband and daughter were playing around. "Nah, but… you got allergies or some'n - ?" She squinted, and just then, Elsa realized she hadn't covered everything up. She immediately covered her mouth in horror. "Oh god, Elsa -"

"Shh, can we talk inside?"

"Good lord -" Tiana immediately pulled the woman in, slamming the door shut. "You two, go play in the playroom. Elsa, _sit_."

"Hm? What - Oh…" Naveen had looked up, gazing between the two with his daughter on his lap. "Elsa, right? How ya doin'?"

" _Naveen_." Tiana's stern voice prompted her husband to take her daughter and leave, though not without gazing at Elsa weirdly. Elsa sat on the couch, almost ashamed someone had even given her that look. "Now. Stay here."

Elsa sighed as the woman scurried to the bathroom and back with a first aid kit. "Tiana…"

"Take off your mask and glasses, and anywhere where you have bruises and stuff. Come on now." She got down on her knees, placing the box on the coffee table. A few dozen bandages and cotton lay on the side, and Elsa slowly did what she was told. It didn't take long for Tiana to gasp, hand to her mouth… and tears rested on the corner of her eyes. Sure they didn't know each other for long, but… Elsa considered Tiana to be one of her greatest friends. Nobody would've worried for her like this.

The silence… the way Tiana stared at her messed up face in horror. Even she knew how much these wounds have tainted her beauty. And right now, Elsa felt way too ashamed to say anything… waiting… waiting for her friend to say something. To ridicule her. "Oh God, Elsa… Elsa, who did this to you…?"

Elsa wasn't shocked by her trembling voice. _Who did this to me? Perhaps… I did this to myself._ She looked away, feeling a hand squeezing her own. "This is… embarrassing, is it not?"

" _Embarrassing?_ " Tiana dabbed a cotton in some alcohol. "What the hell are you thinking? Sweetie… did _he_ do this…?"

Elsa stayed silent, only hissing in discomfort when it touched her ripped skin. There was so much on Elsa's mind that she wasn't sure where to even start. Did she even want to start at all? She sighed, closing her eyes… and through all the darkness, only one person came to light. _Anna…_ "Tiana… I made a mistake."

"I don't care what mistakes you made. _Damn it_ , Elsa. Why didn't you tell me? God knows how long this has been going on and I couldn't help you..."

"I didn't want to bother you." Elsa barely winced when she felt a small press on the corner of her eyebrow.

"You can bother me all you want. This…? You _need_ to tell me about this! Elsa, you have been in _pain…"_ The blonde couldn't avoid listening to her. Tiana was correct… she should've said something earlier, no matter how afraid she was… how strong she wanted to become. "Elsa…" Tiana sighed, hand tightly holding onto hers. Her brown eyes, as pitiful as they looked, did not separate from Elsa's. "Please, please, listen to me. What we said earlier… this is worse than we could imagine."

"I know. Tiana…" She scoffed to herself in disappointment, fingers in her hair. "I _was_ wrong. I was so, so wrong."

"You have to stay away from him."

 _It's not that simple._ Elsa shook her head. "How? I… I can't."

"Can't? Why can't you? You have a place here to stay in as long as you'd like! You have Anna!"

"He'll hurt Anna..." That did it. Three words, and Elsa quickly bursted into tears, hands against her head. "I… I can't let that happen…"

"Oh, poor baby…" Tiana whispered, arms wrapping around the blonde. What a shame. It was such a shame. If only Elsa was fair about her own feelings, none of this wouldn't have happened. If anything… Hans was right about one thing - she couldn't get over the woman that had loved her and had been pushed away. She cried against her chest, unable to even speak a single word. All she wanted to utter out was an apology or a hundred more, but she couldn't even do that. "Elsa… you have a place here… you will always have a place here, and we can protect you."

"I-I…" Elsa sniffled, pulling herself away. "But -"

"I know what you said about Anna… but… God, sweetie, I'm gonna need to give her a call -"

"NO!" she immediately shouted, and the moment Tiana had gotten up to grab a telephone, Elsa had lost her balance. On the ground, on her knees, the woman gripped onto her savior of a friend on her leg. _Humiliating… this is so humiliating… is this what I've become?_ Elsa couldn't even look up to Tiana at all, gazing on the carpet ground instead. "N-No… please don't."

"What?" The woman tugged her leg, only to feel Elsa grab it even tighter. "Elsa, let go -"

"You… You can't. Please, I'm _begging_ you."

" _Why…_? Why won't you accept help from her…?"

Elsa was silent, still gripping tightly onto Tiana. If she ever let go… she knew Tiana would run to the telephone. "I… I can't let her see me like this. She's been so happy lately… I don't want her to feel heartbreak again because of me."

Tiana didn't seem to buy it. "Elsa _,_ he _beat_ you…"

"I know." She sniffled, still unable to even look at her in the eye. "I know… but he will do so much more if you called her, Tiana. I'm begging you. I know you mean well, but just for me... I just need this one favor." With all her strength - her fingers shaking as they held onto her leg - Elsa managed to look up into the horror in Tiana's eyes. " _Please…_ do not call her."

"Elsa… damn it," she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, shaking her head in disbelief. And finally, Elsa felt relief swim over her, knowing that Tiana wouldn't do what she wanted to do.

She felt arms wrap around her as Tiana got down to her level, and heard her shush her like a child after a tantrum… it became relaxing. Comforting. And Elsa had stopped crying the moment she had felt it.

"I won't tell her. It's… your business after all. I will respect that. But this has gotten too far, Elsa."

She let out a shaky breath, holding onto her savior's shoulders. "He… H-He touched me -"

"I know. I know… Shh… you're doing well by coming here. You needed someone to talk to, and you came to me. I'm glad you did. You'll be okay here."


	26. Chapter 26: cry me a river till u drown

_In a small office, the married couple sat across from a therapist sitting behind a desk. The clock ticked in silence but for the subtle sound of sniffling and weeping._

 _She wasn't sure what was going on anymore. For the past few weeks… so many things had happened, and Anna was just left with confusion, anger, and depression, which left both of them unable to take care of their son. Or themselves. Olaf was with his great-grandparents, but Anna knew her Grandpapa and Grandmama didn't have the energy to do much, even if they'd gladly take care of Olaf for a few weeks. But this was the last thing she was worried about. She had so many things that she needed to salvage, and this… was what she had to cling onto as tightly as she could._

 _Her marriage… was falling apart._

 _And through the thickening silence, Anna had her head down, hands over her eyes. She was unable to look at either of them out of shame, weeping to herself._

 _Doctor Porter gazed between the two, a pencil and a notepad on her table. She was the calmest among them, and they both knew… she had to be the voice of reason. Anna didn't want to do this - didn't want to see a therapist or a marriage counselor. This… all could have been resolved at home, but her wife was stubborn so they had no choice. Elsa didn't want to do this as well… going straight to divorce weeks after her affair. But they promised… if counseling wasn't going to work, Anna would agree to divorce. Anna couldn't hold her down, and she could only do so for so long._

 _Dr. Porter was not a bad doctor. She listened, gave advice… but it was advice that they weren't sure how to take, or could take. But at least, she was trying to help… and yet, Elsa wasn't being at all helpful to Anna._

 _Elsa… hadn't said a word. Why? How? How could this happen? How could such a sweet, beautiful girl turn into such a cold, bitter person? Anna wondered if she really had a heart… had really cared for her in the past._

" _Elsa, do you really want this?" the doctor asked. "Have you really fallen out of love? Sometimes, people think that for certain that they have fallen out of love, but… rather than divorce, why not try taking a vacation together? Just the two of you?"_

 _Anna reluctantly pushed herself back up and turned to her. Glared at her, almost pleading through her eyes to make this stop._ An answer. I just need a goddamn answer.

 _Elsa shook her head. "I know what's best for me. What's best for both of us. I thought we were the perfect match too… but I need to stop kidding myself."_

" _Tell me, why do you think that? What made you realize this marriage wasn't the perfect love story for you?"_

 _The blonde didn't answer for a moment. She glimpsed at Anna… then to the ground, and sighed. The disappointment in her eyes showed completely. "Every day, I come home… I see my wife and my son having the time of their lives. We were so happy. I wanted it all, I_ _had_ _it all… but it was all so… dull."_

" _Dull in what way?"_

" _It almost felt like an out-of-body experience. Wake up, go to work, take care of our son… and sleep. The cycle continues. I felt like a robot… and one day, I just ran out of love."_

 _Doctor Porter shifted in her seat, turning to Anna. "Anna, have you ever felt this way?"_

 _The redhead merely shook her head, still gazing at her wife. Tears continued to fall… and all hope to mend this marriage was gone when she knew Elsa just couldn't look at her the same way. Or at all. "Elsa… Elsa, I-I can do better." She chuckled bitterly, hand reaching to her wife… but she only stopped when Elsa just flinched. Anna stared at the hands clasped tightly together, her heart shattering piece by piece… and she realized, Elsa didn't want to touch such a disgusting person. Confusion continued to swirl in Anna's mind, and all she could do was blame herself._ What… what have I done that made her disgusted of me…? " _D-Do you want a vacation with just us? W-We can go to Norway for a month. Just the two of us. We can have a ton of f-fun -"_

 _Elsa closed her eyes. "Anna -"_

" _You want adventures? W-We'll go camping. Hiking. Even through the mountains -"_

" _Stop it, Anna."_

" _Sex? I'll try harder. I-I know I haven't been enthusiastic a-about it lately, but I'll give you whatever you want… I'll love you more -"_

" _Enough!"_

 _Anna immediately got on her knees… hands clasped together, and the ring that she had worn throughout their marriage… just looked so dull all of the sudden. Her cries were loud… but nobody seemed to be hearing it. She didn't care… she didn't need to care for herself as long as she got Elsa back. She needed her in her life, and if that meant she had to be on her knees to bring her back, begging… then so be it. "Elsa, please! I-I don't care about Hans… I don't care what you did… I-I forgive you. Just…"_ What am I doing…? " _W-What about Olaf…? He needs his mother -"_

" _Olaf will be with me."_

" _O-Okay, sure… sure."_ No… don't give up. _Anna shook her head. This wasn't it. As long as Anna still had this ring on her finger, she wasn't about to give up. Wasn't about to let Elsa take custody of Olaf just because. "No, y-you can't do this to us, Elsa… I'm begging you. I will treat you better… What would your parents say…?"_

 _Elsa twitched, and just as Anna had said those words, cold blue eyes finally gazed at her. And not only did they not soften, but it was filled with bitterness. Regret. But for who? For what? Anna didn't want to find out. "Anna… my parents are_ _gone._ "

 _That's right. After Olaf was born… everything had just gone downhill from there. There was never a day where Elsa did not forget what happened. Gifting them those tickets was the biggest mistake Elsa had ever made. And Anna never should have brought them back up._

" _Please…" She shook her head. "Whatever I did… I'm sorry. I-I just… I need you -"_

 _Elsa let out a disappointing scoff, turning away. Anna didn't mind it. She didn't care how Elsa looked at her… how she felt about her. Anna just wanted to keep this family together, and there wasn't a thing that Anna was not willing to do. Except… everything was going wrong, so wrong._

 _Realizing… Elsa wasn't going to change her mind, Anna felt at loss. She stared in horror… in regret, at the woman she loved. The person that used to smile for her, laughed for her, loved her… was gone, and Anna was left with was someone who fell out of love for her._

 _She shook her head in disbelief, unable to look at Elsa anymore. Unable to beg more… "Why…? What happened to you…?"_

* * *

That week they stuck to the plan of letting Olaf have all the fun he deserved. Two movies, playing in the park, shopping, and an hour-long lunch later, Olaf was well exhausted from all the entertainment.

In fact, Anna was planning to spend time with Olaf anyway even if Meg hadn't suggested it since he was going to go back home the next day. Not that it would be an awfully sad goodbye, but… when was Anna going to take the time to spoil her kid? Sure, it wasn't anything big, like going to Disneyland - and, hopefully, one day they would be able to - but Olaf seemed equally grateful. And while there was an added member to the mother and son duo tagging along… well, it didn't seem like Olaf was opposed to it either. Meg was trying her very hardest to be a delight, and Anna could clearly see it.

Conflicting emotions enveloped Anna through the course of the week, but in the end, Anna was grateful for her.

He was getting used to it. Or Anna thought he was.

By evening, after a morning and afternoon full of fun, everyone was exhausted. Meg had gotten groceries for dinner, and Anna was carrying her sleeping son on her back.

"Need help?" Meg whispered, putting the bags down, and Anna simply shook her head. They were careful with their voices to make sure Olaf wasn't going to stir awake. He deserved this, at least.

"I'll let him sleep a bit before I wake him. I'm starving."

The brunette chuckled, leaning in to kiss her cheek. "You must be. The kid was hyper. No wonder he passed out so quickly."

"Mmm…" Olaf scrunched his eyebrows, his body wriggling against Anna's back.

"Okay, make dinner. I'll get him to bed."

"Sure."

Alone with Olaf, she turned on the hallway lights and the guest bedroom which, right now, was filled with Olaf's clothes and a new set of sheets. The moment she moved into her apartment a year back she realized there would be times when Olaf would have to spend the night here, considering Elsa could be too busy sometimes. She didn't think about the money when she got Thomas the Train Engine bedsheets, nor when she got some new set of pajamas and undergarments. It was okay to spend extra on such a good kid for a while, as much as Anna wished to save more to get a better apartment soon.

Anna put Olaf down on his bed, leaned in and kissed his forehead. "Love you, sweetheart."

"Hnn…"

Satisfied with the reply, Anna decided to leave the lights on in the room, her body stretching as she got out to the kitchen. _He's gonna have to wake up by the time dinner starts._

Her arms quickly fell around Meg's waist, though she knew the brunette couldn't be bothered right now as she was cooking and putting groceries in the fridge… _oh, who cares. I miss our alone time._ "Hi, baby…" she whispered, fingers gently caressing the side of Meg's slender neck. The tremble in response was exactly what Anna needed to move on, and so… she leaned in once more, lips breathing against Meg's ear.

"Anna…"

"Mm?"

She sighed, head tilting the other way. "As much as I enjoy this… I have dinner to make."

"Mm…" _I don't care._ Anna decided to be a little messier, her hands grasping the woman's waist from the back, her lips closing in the shell of her ear. "Olaf's sleeping…"

"Yeah, well, he's not going to be sleeping for long. Remember last time?"

She raised her eyebrows. That got her to pull away with a pout, and all Meg could do was show her an apologetic expression. "I had hoped you'd forget about it."

The woman laughed as she grabbed a saucepan out of the cabinet. "Oh, it's all imprinted deep in my memories. So, had fun today?"

"Yeah, sure -" She opened the fridge, grabbing a can of beer. "Sometimes, I just forget how hyper Olaf can be."

Meg scoffed. "Got that from you, apparently."

" _Apparently_." She rolled her eyes, a huge gulp of the beverage sliding down her throat. "Did _you_ have fun?"

"Getting to know the kid? Of course." She paused, getting all the vegetables out of the bag, and even Anna knew this pause… should not be this uncomfortable. She perked an eyebrow up when Meg sighed, both hands resting on the edge of the counter.

"Ookay… what's wrong now?" Anna questioned.

"So… you know, if you don't mind, can you call Elsa for me?"

 _What? For what?_ Anna blinked, taking a step back to lean against the kitchen counter. "Uh, why?"

Meg glanced at her with uncertainty, and as she sighed Anna's head began to swim even more. Meg would never ask Anna to call her… and, if anything, Meg would be the one to call, but now… it just seemed too awkward. "Don't take this the wrong way, Anna… I just… I want to spend more time with you and Olaf."

 _Sure, but…_ "Okay? We… we can. We have plenty of time to -"

"Summer vacation to Hawaii sounds nice, doesn't it?"

 _Odd. This is so very odd._ Anna nearly backed away, tilting her head. She didn't quite understand, and seeing how somber Meg's expression was… this simple request could not have been just to take them to a summer vacation. And if anything… it would mean Elsa would be out of the picture -

And only after a few moments… she was able to piece everything together. Meg seemed to make it sound like Anna didn't know what was on her mind but… Anna scoffed in disbelief, hands in her hair. "God damn it, Meg… we… we are _not_ at that point yet!" she yelled. "We aren't a _family_ yet."

The brunette immediately pinched the bridge of her nose. "Fuck, I knew you were going to take this the wrong way…"

"Well, how else am I supposed to fucking take this?! Elsa is still and _always_ will be his mother, Meg!"

"I know. Anna, look," she wrapped her arms around Anna, "I didn't mean it that way… and maybe, sure, I want us to be a family one day - no, stop turning around and just _listen_ to me - but right now… with us being together, you know, Olaf still isn't used to it. So I've been thinking about this, and I thought more time spent with him would get him to be warmer with me. _Us."_

Anna honestly didn't know how to respond. She was still trying to recover from her divorce and now Meg was suggesting this? It wasn't… a bad idea, but it just left a bad taste in her mouth the way she worded things. In any case, freaking out like that would not do either of them any good, and even Meg knew her suggestion might be misunderstood. But, honestly, was it a misunderstanding?  
She stood there, gawking at Meg. If she had that apologetic expression on her, then…

 _She means well, Anna… you know that._ Sighing, she pinched the bridge of her nose "Yeah… I'll ask tomorrow."

"He's coming back home, right?"

"Yep."

"Okay, look… I don't want to push you into doing this." Meg sighed. "I _know_ it's probably unreasonable -"

"Meg, it's not, okay?" Anna pulled away. _I need to stop lying to myself._ "It's _fine._ What you said… I understand. Besides, it's probably best if he does get to know you a bit better."

For a moment, it seemed like Meg didn't quite believe her. The pause between them felt odd, and Anna could feel how tense everything was. Before Anna could even say anything else, Meg furrowed her brows. "Don't say things you don't mean, Anna. I know when you're lying, and… you know, it's fine if you don't want to do this. I'll be happy to get to know him through school. I think I've learned enough about him that way, anyway."

 _No, that's not it. It's just… the family part… I'm not ready for that yet._ Anna didn't have the guts to say it. This wasn't a situation where Anna could force a smile, but… she didn't want to make Meg feel bad about it. It was odd. She was supposed to take care of herself more than other people, yet… she couldn't stop putting people above herself. It was uncontrollable. "It's fine, Meg. I'll talk to Elsa, I'll tell her tomorrow, alright?"

* * *

No matter how hard it was to talk to Elsa on the phone, Anna knew she had to do it. Monday was going to be a half-day for the students, and Anna had to get off work early to take Olaf back home. It was nearing eleven o'clock, yet… she still hadn't texted Elsa. And the last time they had even talked was two days ago… and that conversation just ended too abruptly for Anna's liking.

She hummed, staring at her phone, twirling her seat around.

The office, surprisingly, was quiet today. So quiet that Kristoff poked his head into her cubicle in curiosity… which, usually he would not do. He raised his eyebrow, but Anna was too preoccupied with staring blankly at the phone to even realize he was there.

She wasn't sure what she should do. A part of her knew Olaf had to get used to Anna being with Meg… but another part realized… maybe they were going too fast. _I know she doesn't want a family yet. Why am I still so worried?_ She rubbed her fingers on the bridge of her nose in exhaustion.

Elsa… had nothing to do with this, so she shouldn't even be this worried and afraid to call her.

"What are you brooding about?"

Anna jolted from her seat, turning to his deep voice. "Oh, Jesus Christ, Kristoff…" She placed a hand on her chest. _Every time, he just has to scare me like that…_

He chuckled, knowing every other week this would happen. "Need to talk to Elsa _again_?"

 _And of course, he knows._ What didn't he know anyway? They barely hung out now as Anna spent most of her time with Meg, but still… Kristoff had been such a great friend that every little detail of Anna's life he had taken to heart and mind.

"Yeah." She sighed, placing her phone on her desk. "Gotta… talk to her about Meg and Olaf."

"Ooh… okay, don't tell me," he placed two fingers against his forehead, concentrating… as if he was trying to get into Anna's mind, "so… basically, because you're with Meg, you want Elsa's permission to take Olaf in for a little while so that Olaf can spend more time with both of you, and at this point, Olaf can get to know her a bit better?"

 _Uhh…_ Anna was speechless. "Are you sure you're not married?"

He smirked. " _Yes!_ I take that as a compliment. And I'm _trying_ , okay? Tinder hasn't been the best these past few days."

"Well, someone's gotta put a ring on you eventually. It's impossible for such a handsome guy to stay single this long."

He wiggled his eyebrows. " _Oh my_ , Miss Arendelle, are you flirting with me? I don't think Elsa or Meg would particularly enjoy that."

Anna rolled her eyes. "You are being _so_ helpful."

"I'm just getting there. Anyway, I suppose… you're nervous about calling your ex-wife again."

She shrugged. "Would texting her be better?"

"What are you, in high school? C'mon," he nudged her arm, "she won't bite." _That's another thing, she can bite if she wants to._

"I don't know, Kristoff."

He scoffed, winking at her. "If I had a dollar for every time you say that I'd be rich already. When has anything ever stopped you?" _That's true._ But this was different. The thing was… Olaf would be sharing his life with someone new, someone that Anna loved and could be healthy being with. Oddly, Elsa had been very accepting, and sure, Anna was grateful about her acceptance. Everything was just… different now.

Anna sighed, taking the phone in her hand, and scrolled through her list of 'important contacts' to Elsa. There was a short moment of adrenaline coursing through her, and her mind started spitting out all the things she wanted to say… yet, she just wasn't sure _how_ to put all that in coherent words.

With Kristoff looking at her - still, not being the voice of encouragement yet - she swiped right to call… and a short dial tone sounded.

While she waited, she stared at Kristoff, who rewarded her with two thumbs up. "You. Got. This."

Anna shook her head. "You're an idiot."

"Encouraging, at least."

Just in time, Elsa picked up the phone. " _Hello?"_

"O-Oh, hey, Elsa." She placed a finger against her lips to shush Kristoff, who immediately pretended to zip her mouth shut. "How… how are you doing?"

" _I'm good. I'm in my office. I heard it's a half day for Olaf today?"_

"Yeah, I'm gonna go pick him up in an hour or so. Uh, I just wanted to ask you… do you mind if… I take Olaf in again. Uh, let's say, next week?"

" _Next week? Why?"_

Anna groaned. "God, I knew you would have a problem with it, never mind -"

" _No, please. I'm just curious. You may, by the way."_

She scratched her head. "Well, um… Meg suggested that Olaf should get to know her a bit better. I thought it was a great idea too, knowing that Olaf doesn't really seem to be comfortable with us… you know. Anyway, she wanted us to spend a bit more time together, and… make sure he's used to her presence. I knew I had to ask for your permission, so I had to call."

" _You sound nervous."_ Elsa chuckled from the other end. It was a light one, but Anna could sense the playfulness in her.

"Ugh, c'mon, who wouldn't be? So? You're not opposed?"

" _No, I'm not."_

"That's a relief… thank you so much, I owe you."

" _Oh, well if you're looking to do a favor, after you pick Olaf up… do you mind just dropping him in the living room?"_

Anna quirked her eyebrow up. "Um… you don't want to come and get him?"

Elsa sighed in exhaustion. " _I've been so behind with work lately, Anna. I've been in my office all day."_

"Did you eat?"

" _I did. Don't worry, I left snacks. I'll tend to him when you leave."_

What an odd request. "Well… sure. I'll… I'll leave him there. Anyway, I'll talk to you later?"

" _Sure, Anna."_

She hung up and turned to her friend with a sigh.

"See? I told you it's not so bad."

"Yeah, but…" She threw her phone on the table, leaning back against her chair. "Talking to her has been _weird_ these past few days. I don't know, maybe it's just me."

He chuckled. "Well, maybe it is you. I mean, look at you. You got a new girlfriend. That's a change, isn't it?"

Anna breathed out, unable to answer him… eyes stuck to her phone. Really, if this was the change she was getting… she didn't want it.

* * *

"Alright, Olaf, you got all your stuff?" Anna slammed the car door shut after Olaf got out with his backpack and his teddy in his arms.

"Yep!"

"Just trying to make sure you don't lose anything, that's all." She held his hand, walking over to the front entrance of the house. As always, she looked into the window through the small space where the curtains would give her a clear view of the living room. The lights were on. She looked up to the second floor, and just a faint hint of light shined through the window as well.

 _Elsa must be working in the office._

Knowing that, she fumbled for her keys and unlocked the door, letting Olaf in. It was unusual that Elsa wasn't coming down to greet them, but… she said she was going to be busy with work so…

"Alright, go on, give Mama a kiss." She bent down, letting her son hug her tightly and kiss her on both cheeks. "Elsa?! Elsa, Olaf's home!"

The office door opened just slightly, only revealing the ceiling light. Elsa was nowhere in sight. "I'll be right there! Thank you, Anna, you can go!"

"Is there anything else you need?!"

Olaf giggled at the constant screaming back and forth, while shedding his jacket and his backpack on the couch. Anna couldn't help but smile at how eager Olaf seemed to be finally at home.

"No, no, thank you, Anna. I'll talk to you later!"

Anna huffed, grumbling, "I mean… she could at least come talk to me face to face right now, but…" She turned to Olaf. "Olaf, take care of Mom, okay?"

"Mhm!" Olaf looked up to the office. "Mooommm, can you come down and say byeeee?!"

"Sweetheart, I have a lot of work to do!"

He frowned. "But Mom, Mama is here!"

"I know, honey, Mama and I will talk later, okay?!"

Anna wasn't sure what was getting into Olaf, as he was already feeling a bit agitated - which, Anna didn't want him to be feeling over such a small thing. She stepped inside for a bit, running her fingers through his hair. His little pout and his crossed brows were always cute, but she didn't want that on his face all the time. "It's okay, honey. Mom is busy, and you know how she is when she concentrates."

"Hmph." Olaf immediately turned, stomping to the dining table for his snacks. _Ah, mad and still interested in snacks? Typical._

Anna sighed, placing her hands on her hip. _Well, what can you do?_ "Okay, Olaf, Mama is off, now. I'm gonna miss you."

Bye, Mama..."

"Bye, sweetheart, I love you."

With the door closed and Olaf safely back home, she had some time to spend. Meg was still in school for a teacher conference, and surely she would have homework tonight, so Anna wasn't going to be able to spend it with her. She sat in her car, driving around the neighborhood for a moment, and she decided… well, she might as well go back to work. It wasn't like she could take an official leave for the day and she didn't have anything else to do.

Kristoff was probably still at work, and lunch was still going on. Weselton wouldn't be opposed at all.

For the half hour that she had driven to get to work, everything was… peaceful, to say the least. Even in the office, as she sat down, looking over to the side to see Kristoff stuffing his face with lunch - practically ignoring her, as well - she realized how boring her life must have been. Or perhaps, she shouldn't say that her life was boring. Work was just extraordinarily boring.

All she had ever done was file papers, do paperwork, write reports - which, many weren't really deemed great - and that was all. She huffed out a breath, gazing up at the ceiling, and that seemed to have caught Kristoff's attention.

"Whah?" he questioned, with his stupid looking eyes staring at her, cheeks stuffed with Chinese food.

Anna looked at him in disgust. "Are you a monkey?"

He swallowed. "Well, biologically speaking -"

"Nope, I don't want to hear it." She quickly turned her attention to work.

"You asked." He chuckled, nudging Anna's arm with his elbow. "So? Did it go well?"

"It just _went."_ She turned on her monitor, pulling up some more files. This was going to be a taxing day, but she was willing to do it. "Just… whatever," she said, looking over some paperwork, "it's not the first time Elsa has been busy."

"Ah, making excuses now, are we?"

"Mind your own business, you dork." Anna chuckled. Just in time, her phone vibrated with a text from Meg: " _I miss you. This conference is boring. Take me in plz!"_

Anna smirked. She shouldn't be texting but… nobody cared in this area. "Be a good girl, conferences are important."

" _You say that, and I already know you don't even listen to the people talking during your meetings :P"_

"Yea, and we shouldn't even be texting either so there's that."

" _Well, I hope you got Olaf home safe. At work?"_

"Yup, as per usual."

" _Sucks. I'd come over tonight, but the principal's assigned us some work."_

"Nah, just focus on that. I'll heat up the leftovers from yesterday."

" _Good, and do your laundry. I'll have to remind u."_

 _Who is she? My mom?_ Anna chuckled to herself. "I'll talk to u later, sweetheart."

" _Luv u, baby. 3"_

She smiled to herself. This was going to be her driving energy to continue working. So for about an hour, that was all she had been doing - working, less talking. Kristoff was doing the same, and everything was the way it should be.

It was lovely, honestly. Boring, but… if nothing was happening, nothing was happening, and it was all Anna needed to be in peace. But she preferred this. When they had broken up… Anna couldn't even concentrate or distract herself from the thought of their failed marriage. It took some time to get used to, to endure the pain… and she realized, this was their choice, and any type of fixing and cure would not mend them back together.

Work… was a hassle, and anyone would not have worked if they had the choice and the money, and Anna didn't have either. But instead of treating this as just 'work', this was her distraction for the few months that she was alone.

Kristoff was someone that had helped her cope with everything, and honestly, it was the best thing that had happened to her during those hard times. Throughout all the confusion and anger, Kristoff… and Meg had been her ears that she would talk to and they would listen.

As she gave herself a little break, stretching her stiff body after being in front of the computer for so long, she glanced at her vibrating phone. Elsa was calling. She frowned… _And she's had called me thirteen times… and I didn't notice?_

Anna immediately got up, hand in her phone.

Kristoff perked his head up. "Something wrong?"

Anna merely glared at the screen, shaking her head, and she headed to the bathroom. "Hello?"

For a moment, there wasn't a single answer. In the background, she heard fumbling, but Anna could not make it out what it was. And then…

" _Oh God, Anna… A-Anna…"_ Sniffling. Weeping. Frantic weeping.  
The redhead froze, hand against her forehead. Her feet began pacing back and forth slowly, losing their patience. If there was anything that she knew about Elsa, was that she would not be so easily shaken up to stutter like that. Her chest began to hurt. "H-Hey, Elsa? Elsa, are you crying?"

" _Anna, please! Come home right now!"_

 _What?_ Anna didn't understand. "W-What do you mean, come home? What's going on?"

" _Baby… Where's my baby…?"_

Anna's heart dropped, her eyes widened. Her mind… seemed to have frozen, and all she could see was her son's bright smile fading. Confusion surrounded her, and Anna started pacing, her hand running through her hair. Perhaps… this was a prank? But Elsa was never big on joking around. _This is… This is fucked._ "What are you talking about…? Elsa, what is happening?"

" _Anna, I have been calling you for so long! Where the hell have you been?!"  
_ "I-I'm at work - T-That doesn't matter right now. What the hell are you talking about? Baby?"

" _Oh God…"_ More weeping, and this time, Elsa cried louder. Anna was beginning to grow impatient, her fingers tightening so much on her phone, she could crack the screen. " _Olaf… Olaf… H-He's not home, Anna!"_

She squinted, gazing down on the floor. "What…? What do you mean, he's not home? I saw him in the kitchen an hour before!"

" _I-I don't know, I heard him in the kitchen… I came down… I checked everywhere, Anna!"_

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck._ "Are you sure? Alright, I'm coming."

" _Anna, come home right now! Our… Our son…"_

"Elsa, calm down -"

" _No, I can't fucking calm down! Anna… Olaf… our baby boy, he's missing."_

* * *

Anna got home as fast as she could, even going way past the speed limit when she could. She didn't understand what the hell was going on. Her whole body had grown numb from all the trembling. Her mind… completely buzzing with the one word 'missing'. She couldn't even cry. She had to be rational right now… think clearly, think of where he might have been.

She got out of work just as she got the phone call and called the police. She knew she shouldn't be calling people and driving at the same time, but for fuck's sake, her son was missing. On the way, she tried her best to remain calm - minimizing as much stuttering as she could, controlling her frustration when the operators continued to repeat questions over and over again. What was so hard to understand? And just before Anna had arrived at the block, everything was finally settled.

Her car immediately screeched to the stop in the front of the house. Hands began to fumbled clumsily for the keys, and as she was about to unlock the door, it flung open.

"What the -"

"Oh God, Anna!"  
Arms quickly wrapped around her shoulders, and Anna just couldn't deny Olaf's mother a comforting hug. Even now, the weeping continued. She hadn't felt Elsa tremble this much… hadn't even felt her body against hers for so long, and it felt so odd now to feel her heaviness on her. "Shh… I've got you, I've got you… Don't worry… he must not have gone far." She squeezed her tightly in her arms, head pressed against the nook of her neck. _Don't cry… don't cry._ "I'm here, I'm here…"

"I don't know what's going on… Please! Please, my baby… where is he…?"

"Elsa…" She leaned in closer, shutting her eyes. Now was not the time to really brood over their past. "Calm down, we need to be level-headed for this."

"A-Anna, I checked everywhere. Oh god… what's going to happen to him…?"

"Okay, okay… I'll find him, nothing is going to happen to him. I promise. Look at me -" She pulled the woman away from the hug… and silence fell upon her. Eyes stared. Her expression frozen… her arms frozen. Her heart? Her heart completely shattered, and for once, she wanted this to be a nightmare.

All this time of trying to keep this family together, Anna had hope. She had hoped their son would mend his two mothers back together. She had hoped Elsa would eventually come to the realization that this - being together - was possibly the best thing they'd ever had. It was the best thing she had. And she had hoped… this man that had intruded into their lives - especially, Elsa's life - would go away in peace.

But what was she staring at right now? They looked at each other, eyes brimmed with tears. Immediately… it was Elsa who had to look away to the ground first in shame.

At the moment, for a second, she thought her ex-wife was someone else. Where was her… flawless, pale, beautiful skin? Where were those ocean blue eyes that would always sweep Anna away? Where was that charismatic and sexy smile she would put on for Anna?

No… No, this was her wife. And her wife was openly showing her weakness right now.

She blinked. Once. Twice. Her mouth opened, but no words could escape. She frowned, tilting her head.

For once… she didn't want to take in the sight of her, but she had to. This was her lover. This was someone she was proud to show others… someone who, in their marriage, deemed Anna more beautiful than she was.

Her once precious silky skin… was covered in swollen bruises. Her blue eyes were surrounded by dark hurt wounds… and those kissable, luscious lips that Anna had once tasted… were bloody crimson.

Crystal tears holding in her regret slowly trailed down Anna's pink cheeks. She covered her mouth in horror, stumbling back… and she shook her head. _Is that… Is that her?_

"Elsa…?"

Elsa shook her head. Anna knew… her appearance didn't matter anymore. The blonde had gotten on her knees on the ground, hands gripping onto Anna's legs. _Is this a nightmare…? I want to wake up._ She never thought a day would pass by that Elsa would be on her knees, despite the humiliation… the desperation. "Please… find my baby… Anna, I beg you…"

"What…" Anna couldn't even look down. Couldn't say anything. Words could not describe how she was feeling… how furious she was, and that fury couldn't even form on her shocked face. Still, she had no clue this was happening… she had no clue Elsa was like this. How? How did it get like this? She didn't want to imagine, but she knew… exactly who had done this. "Who did this to you…?" she still asked.

But with Elsa gripping onto her leg like a child… right now, she had to take priority, and her priority was to find her son. She would worry about her wounds later.

Wiping her tears away, Anna looked down, grabbed Elsa's hand to soothe her. "I'm… I'm gonna look around… drive around. Elsa, you just… you stay here."

The blonde sniffled, nodding. "His bag… His bag is here but -"

"Okay, um… go make some calls. See if anybody has seen him. I… I'll look for him."

"I'm scared! Anna… Anna, I-I called Hans… that bastard… h-he didn't answer. I called him several times -"

Anna's body immediately tensed at the thought of that… son of a bitch fucking up their lives. _No… remain calm, don't assume..._ Gathering her courage, Anna bent down to face Elsa at the same level. Eye to eye. Anna wanted to throw up so badly with how heavy her chest felt. Gently… carefully, she let her fingers caress Elsa's cheek. "We're going to be okay… we'll find him, alright? I'll inform the cops about that piece of shit."

The woman shut her eyes, grabbing Anna's hand. "What if he -"

"No… don't open the door. _Ever._ I will call you as soon as I find our baby." The anger inside her… just didn't want to escape at all. "We'll be okay. We will."

* * *

a _/n: and now gears are switching again! what does everyone think about meg? elsa? ... olaf, especially?_


	27. Chapter 27

warning: physical decipline

* * *

Anna had been driving around for an hour, and she was becoming increasingly more desperate and frustrated. Her trembling was making it more difficult to control her driving. Every five minutes she would get out of the car and ask passing strangers and her neighbors if they had seen Olaf:

"Blond hair, teal eyes, a small round face, and about this high," she would say, her palm hovering around the side of her hip.

Nobody had seen him, and seeing how frantic Anna looked every time someone had said no, they pitied her. They would offer to call the cops, to try to see if they could find them, or look out if anybody had seen him, but those were empty promises. Though, as a courtesy, Anna handed them her number.

But it had already been an hour. Her phone was running out of batteries. Nobody had called her yet. She felt like time was running out. And after one last person said no, she got in her car in absolute defeat and devastation… staring emptily at the streets. Her body was tired, her mind spent, and she knew she shouldn't be giving up when it had only been an hour, but she didn't know what to do or where else to go. One answer… she just _needed_ something.

She curled herself up, hands ruffling her hair, and she began rocking herself. Her heart felt like someone had not only stabbed it, but had burned it right after. She felt so goddamn lost. This was her son she was trying to find… her precious son, and yet, there was still no sign of him. _I should've tried harder…_

And with the thought of her son's smile disappearing, the thought of her son getting hurt and maybe worse, she started sobbing. Her hands gripped tightly on the steering wheel, head pressed against her white knuckles. She couldn't bear driving another round in the neighborhood, but she couldn't rest either. She shouldn't. Her heart began to race even more, and she let her fingers clench onto her chest. "Olaf… My baby…" she sobbed. It was a mere moment… the mere frustration just led her to punish herself for not being the mother that Olaf wanted. She banged her forehead against the steering wheel. Many times.

She needed to wake up. This wasn't a nightmare, this was real life, and her family was deteriorating once again. And, once again, Anna felt like her life… her once joyful life that she was having with Elsa… with Meg… was falling apart.

Anna had never felt like she did at that moment. As if the whole world was coming down on her, and everything just _hurt_. It was impossible to think… impossible to even force herself to think and _feel_ positive.

Her body had grown numb, tingling, and all she wished was for this to pass fast so she could take care of finding her son. She would rarely get panic attacks, but so many thoughts were running through her head that she had to give up to the looming mental breakdown. So many things had happened throughout these past few weeks that she couldn't bear holding her breath one last time. And Elsa…

 _Oh, Elsa._

Poor Elsa, she thought, but there were no words to describe what she saw. As much as she wanted to forget about it, the haunting sight had left her scarred. She wondered if she had done this, she wondered if she had done _wrong_ \- to let her go… to be with somebody else. _FUCK!_

She pulled her hair out of frustration, and God… whatever had happened to her, Anna didn't want to imagine it. She refused to believe her beautiful wife had done this to herself. Anger filled her mind, and right now, she just wanted to drown herself in alcohol. But she had to be the shoulder of her family. Giving up right now was not an option.

She took a few minutes to pull herself together, and just when she was about to drive again her phone began vibrating.

She quickly answered it without checking who was calling. "H-Hello?!"

" _Anna? Anna, what the hell is going on?"_

She frowned, placing her hand on her forehead. "M-Meg? Oh, God, is Olaf with you?"

" _Yes! He's with me in school. Anna, what's going on?!"_

"Is he alright? Meg, I'm coming right now." She started moving onto the highway as fast as she could. It was going to take at least half an hour to get to school.  
" _He's fine, but you're going to really tell me what's going on when you get here. God, my heart is pounding, Anna -"_

And just as Anna was about to respond her call dropped due to the lack of battery on her phone. Out of sheer frustration, Anna flung her phone against the car door. "God damn it!"

That frustration… was finally directed at Olaf this time.

She arrived exactly twenty minutes later, her legs climbing the stairs as fast as she could. The evening had gotten quite late now. Many thoughts and questions swirled around in her head, and many of them she couldn't even answer. What was she feeling? Well… she couldn't even describe how angry she was. How… relieved she felt, knowing that Olaf was with someone she trusted. But she knew, she couldn't let this go easily.

Anna's eyes were filled with fire, and even though Olaf had never been punished, and even though Anna had never punished her boy, well, it was about time now.

She slowed herself when she came into the dark hallway, the main office of the school lit up… and she could hear laughter. The laughter of a child. Taking a few silent steps around the corner, her child came to view. In the dark, she stared at the two people laughing in the office… and it was something that Anna couldn't stand seeing.

She was a mother… but she also had her own feelings. Her own responsibility for Olaf. She was glad to see him laughing. She was furious with the fact that he _was_ laughing. This was a serious situation, of course.

Meg was sitting on the bench with Olaf on her lap, her arms wrapped around the boy. "Mm, you know, has Mama ever took you on a vacation?"

Olaf shook his head. "No, heh, not at all."

"Well, would you like to be on a vacation? We can go to Norway… see all the beautiful snow. You like purple, don't you?"

"Purple, yeah."

"I think I'll have to buy you a purple jacket when we go to Norway. Do you think Mama would like that? I think I'd like it very much."

The boy looked up at her, giggling again. "Yesss, vacation is good!"

 _That's enough._

"Olaf, what the hell do you think you're doing?!" Anna immediately stomped in, and the two people barely had time to react when the frantic redhead grabbed the boy by his arm and pulled him away from Meg. She didn't care if Meg was trying to pull her away or even try to talk to her. Her emotions were getting the better of her.

She felt fingers quickly grasping her arms. "Anna - Anna, calm down -"

"When have you become such a bad boy? Huh?! Do you know how long I have been searching for you?! Get over here. RIGHT NOW!"

Anna was still yelling when Olaf started to cry, and Meg tried to tell her to stop as calmly as she could. Calmness? _I can't stay fucking calm._ She pulled the boy onto the bench, lifting his torso on her lap so he was laying on his tummy.

"M-Mama! Mama, stop! I'm sorry!"

"Sorry isn't going to do! Why did you run?!"

"Mama, please!"

Anna didn't want to listen. She spanked the boy's rear, hard… but light enough that Olaf wasn't going to be hurt too badly. His cries grew louder, his body flailing, but he never planned to escape. She did it again. Three more times. Five more.

She had never hit her boy before. Never _ever_ wanted to. But this was discipline. If he wasn't going to get a spank, he was never going to learn.

Crystal tears, filled with anger and worry, started streaming down her reddened cheeks, but all Anna could cry out was the question 'why'. Crying? She didn't have time to cry… didn't have the heart to give in so easily to the heartbreak, but the thought of disciplining her son like this for the first time was making her hesitant. Her spanking began to soften, and she realized, none of this was her son's fault. It was her own. _If only I knew how he felt._ "Why the hell did you run…? Where did I go wrong…?"

"That's enough, Anna!" Her lover quickly grabbed Olaf from Anna, making sure he was standing right behind her. Her other hand held onto Anna's wrist to make sure she wasn't hitting her son again.

The redhead just sat there, eyes staring blankly on the floor… and her spread fingers slowly turned into a fist, shaking… trembling. And while she tried her best to pull away from Meg's grip, she didn't try hard enough to. In the background, Olaf was still crying, clinging onto his teacher. Anna felt apologetic. To herself, to Meg… to her son. In the blink of an eye, she had been overcome with emotions, and she was so blind that she couldn't control her thoughts. Her actions.

She let out a staggering sigh, placing a hand over her tired eyes… and the hand that held her wrist slowly lowered to caress her back.

"Olaf, honey… why don't you tell Mama why you ran?"

Olaf shook his head. "N-No -"

"Olaf, you better god damn tell me, or else!" Anna glared at the boy. He immediately hid himself behind her girlfriend once again. She still had the energy to yell at him, but with Meg between them… and with Meg here in general, she had to hold back. Olaf was crying so much already anyway. _Oh, please, just stop, Anna._

"Anna, I know you're angry. Just… calm down," Meg started, letting out a breath, "I understand Olaf needs to be disciplined, but at least try to listen."

"You don't -"

" _Anna. Stop."_

Anna wasn't sure what had become of her. She was acting like an animal. She was always rational about her son, but… this situation was just out of control. Out of her hands. These were just excuses though. At the very least, she could listen to Meg, and the very least… perhaps, his explanation would make Anna feel better? _But how? He fucking ran away. Period._

But she was an adult. She was a parent. Sure, she was furious about what her boy did, but she couldn't stay mad for long. She _shouldn't._

Anna gazed up at Meg, who had the softest smile, her thumbs wiping her tears away. Olaf was still softly sniffling away his tears, and at this point, Anna knew she was wrong to think so irrationally like this.

Slowly, Anna got on her knees. And her smile… God, she could hardly call it a smile. "Honey…" she murmured, and it was then that Olaf eyed her mother with such guilt, his lips pouting, fingers wringing together anxiously against his chest. She didn't need to urge the boy to come to her when he emerged. Slowly. No matter how scared he, he knew… this was his Mama. And Mama would never hate him.

And it was then that Anna genuinely smiled, but it was the most apologetic expression she could ever give him. When the boy stood in front of her his eyebrows furrowed in guilt… Anna just ran her hands over his body. "Are you hurt, honey?"

Olaf shook his head.

"Will you tell me why you ran?"

The boy turned to Meg silently, who ran her fingers through his light hair.

"Go on, tell Mama. She won't be mad at you."

Anna would be damned to hell if her son had grown afraid of her. She couldn't let that happen. She wouldn't. All she could do was blame herself… even if it was just the heat of the moment. She thought Olaf would tell her everything if he was punished. And now, she realized… punishment was never the answer.

She pleaded with her eyes in silence, staring at her boy, and when Olaf finally turned…

It was this small pout that he had that made Anna pity him. She wasn't sure what was on his mind, but every time she'd see that pout, she knew Olaf had to be thinking about his mothers. Anna held back from hugging him, waiting. Listening. Meg already seemed to know what he was going to say.

The boy gazed down at his feet, playing with his fingers. "I-It's just… Mama, I was angry…"

Anna stretched out an understanding smile. "Why were you angry?"

"Mom… Mom didn't come out to say bye to you…"

 _Is that it? And I disciplined him for that?_ Anna sighed, looking away in disbelief. "Olaf… is that really it? Did you really have to run -"

"Anna, just listen. He's not done talking," Meg interrupted, and her face… Anna had never seen that face before - filled with such regret, such shame and anger… Anna wasn't sure what to make of it. And if Anna knew one bit of what Meg was thinking right now, she would ask, but her priority right now was bring her son home.

She nodded, urging Olaf to continue in silence.

"M-Mama… Mom is hurt. A-And you two aren't together. I thought Mama and Mom don't want me anymore… so I ran. I-I wanted someone to help Mom." He paused, sniffling. "I-I ran because I need Mama and Mom together, a-and because I know Mama would always find me, so I kept running. A-And I know Mom would always need you too..."

Anna wasn't sure what to say. Her son… should never have to run because his parents couldn't help themselves. Her son should never have had to cry for help. Listening to all this made Anna realize how dysfunctional they were together as a family. The tears that slid down Anna's cheeks could not help her baby. The pitiful weeping… how she grasped and held her boy was not going to do the situation any justice.

But Anna couldn't help it. She wept like a child, her head against her child's chest, and all she could hear was the soft pounding of Olaf's heart. But she was glad. At least… he was safe.

She couldn't let him go, holding him tightly like her life depended on it. There were so many things that Anna wanted to say, and through her scrambling mind… all she could say was, 'I'm sorry'.

 _If only I was a better mother… If only I had the courage to understand what my son is going through..._

* * *

Everything happened so fast. One moment, she cried on Olaf's shoulder. The next moment, she had to push herself away from Meg with her mind quickly occupied with Elsa. And then, finally, with Olaf in her arms… she had driven back home.

She hated herself. She hated her life. She hated the fact that the person that she cared so much about, she had to push away. She didn't want to drag Meg into this. As much as she knew Meg wanted to help… they said it before, they weren't a _family._ It was hard, and it was going to be even harder with her involved.

She would always hear Meg telling her how they could both open up to each other as much they should, as _long_ as they should… but all Anna could feel was being more shut out from her lover. She needed to shut her out. Getting Meg involved with this type of drama was never a good idea. It was _messy._ It was always messy, but this was just one of those moments that Anna would hate to see Meg get heartbroken because she was feeling stressed out and depressed.

When Anna needed the support the most, Anna had to pick herself up to support her own family. Only then would Anna would feel satisfied.

In a blink of an eye, through the silence, Anna had driven into the house's garage front. Olaf had laid in the passenger seat for a nap the entire time, leaving Anna to think. Leaving Anna in her own emotions to drown in… leaving herself to be angry with herself.

And she had come home with her son in silence, knowing that everyone had much to discuss. _Where do I even start?_

Without disturbing Olaf from his nap, she carried him in her arms. She didn't need to take another step into the house when she unlocked it to find Elsa - the poor woman - running down the stairs.  
"Anna! A-Anna, my baby!"

The redhead was awfully tired. When she felt arms embracing her… lips on her cheek, Anna just wanted to drown in it. She was awfully silent too as she watched her hurt ex-wife take Olaf away from her. She was surprised Elsa even had the energy to carry him after… after seeing those wounds. Anna couldn't take her eyes off her, silently watching her wife cry in thanks and relief.

She hadn't seen Elsa cry this much, hadn't seen Elsa scrambling for words.

Olaf had slowly stirred awake soon after. "M-Mom…?" He rubbed his fingers against his eyes.

Elsa chuckled wetly, fingers running through his messy hair, lips pecking many warm kisses on him. "Oh God, honey… are you alright? What happened? Why did you run?"

Anna went to lock the door as the questions continued to overwhelm their son.

For a moment, Olaf didn't answer, looking between the two women. He smiled, almost giggling… and it was just one of the oddest things Anna could ever imagine in a situation like this. "Mom and Mama are back together again…" He wrapped his arms around his mother, nuzzling his head on the nook of Elsa's shoulder.

Anna simply had no words. With her tired eyes, her skin feeling incredibly hot and sweaty, she leaned against the couch and continued to watched them. She didn't pay attention to the way Elsa looked at her in such astonishment and confusion. Rather… _her wounds…_

The redhead didn't want to say anything. Her heart, as much as she had been feeling red hot anger, was empty. Perhaps, all these emotions that she had been feeling that day had finally completely drained away. She had no energy to cry, no energy to talk… all she wanted was a couple of drinks and to be back in Meg's arms.

"Anna…"

Anna blinked. Her two loved ones were still on the floor, Elsa still comforting her boy. "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Silence. Thank you? _What is there to thank me for?_ _He ran because of us._ Anna didn't have the heart to tell her that though.

Slowly, she walked into the kitchen and examined the fridge. "Take Olaf to bed. I'll make food for us."

"Anna -"

" _Don't."_ She raised her hand to stop her from talking. Hearing her talk churned her stomach so much that she couldn't even take another look at Elsa. She had had enough of the sight of her abused face and body. She was _trying_ her best to hold herself up and stay strong, but if that woman said another goddamn word she was going to freak out _. A breath in… and a breath out._ "We can talk about this later. Just… go upstairs. Get some rest. I will cook."

"You don't have to do this, Anna -"

" _Just let me_ -" She slammed her fist on the counter, gritting her teeth. She didn't need Elsa to explain things to her right now. What she needed was to catch her breath. "Just let me be alone and let me _think._ We'll talk later." Careful not to show the anger and sadness in her eyes, she smiled at Elsa. "Please. I'm okay. I promise."

And for a few moments, as Elsa tried to think of a reply, Anna saw her nod. "Alright. Thank you. For everything."

Anna didn't answer her back. When she heard footsteps climbing up the stairs and Olaf's door opening and shutting… Anna simply let out a sigh. It wasn't just out of relief. It was the fact that she could have time to herself because she knew that she couldn't stand making eye contact with anyone right now. But she had to get her shit together.

She'd cook Elsa and Olaf a simple meal that they could eat in bed, and they could call it a day. An exhausting day, for sure.

As she took out some ingredients from the fridge, her phone vibrated with a text. Meg. She didn't even want to open it, but after seeing the first few words through her lock screen she reconsidered. She needed to feel better. And if Meg texting her would make her feel extraordinarily better, then so be it.

Oh, Meg would do that alright. She said herself… she would always be the one to pick Anna back up no matter how rough things were. No matter how humiliating it was for Meg to take care of someone that already had a family. Anna… was a thousand times thankful for that woman, and if she was ever deserving of her… well, Meg was stupid for falling in love with her.

" _Hey, love. I'm home right now. Tired. I'm sorry we didn't get to talk… after that whole fiasco. I would've told you, but I know Olaf wanted to say it to your face. I hope Olaf is doing alright. Elsa too. It must be a tiring day for you. Get some rest soon. Take care of Olaf and Elsa. I miss you. And just… when you're home, I'll be here waiting with my arms open just for you. I love you. Good night, Anna."_

But no matter how many times she had read this over and over again, she didn't feel any better. She just wanted to be with Meg, to talk about her poor disastrous life while letting Meg shower her with all the affection and warmth that Anna craved for. She craved a warm evening, just sitting on the couch with the TV on in the background, cuddling, kissing…

But right now, she felt like someone had just punched her in the face.

It was no use brooding over anything, or yearning to have her normal life back when her family was like _this_.

Elsa was in her room as she made her way upstairs with a hot bowl of chicken noodle soup with a slice of rye bread.

She didn't say anything as she entered. Didn't even knock. Elsa had sat in bed, blanket covering her body. But just a glimpse… just a single glimpse of her made Anna think that her wife was dead. The shine that Elsa used to have… was gone. Their eyes met, and even when they had met, Anna never felt so much dread in her heart. Still, Anna didn't say anything as she grabbed a chair and sat right beside Elsa.

"Here." She placed the hot bowl on the bedside counter. Her eyes… she couldn't tear them away from those bruises. Perhaps, it was time. She watched her wife eat, watched her fingers tremble, and all Anna could see was a weak woman. Terribly weak. Sick, even. But she knew Elsa was strong and had endured so much.

Anna gazed down at her hands, clasping them together. "The bruise I saw before, a few weeks back… what you told me… was that a lie?" She turned back at her, her expression stern.

Elsa contemplated for a moment. "Yes."

 _I can't bear this._ Anna quickly looked away, a hand on her forehead. She was afraid of asking that one question she knew she couldn't avoid asking. Her lips spread open and it closed so many times that all Anna could let out was a whimper. _Deep breaths…_ "W-Were you _ever_ going to tell me what really happened?"

Elsa shook her head, gazing down. "I couldn't risk it."

She squinted. "What… What do you mean… you _couldn't_ risk it?"

"Anna, you don't want to hear it -"

"No, I don't. Because I _cannot_ fucking imagine… or even begin to understand _how_ you look like this." Anna gritted her teeth, her jaw trembling as she tried her very best not to weep again. "How could you not tell me…? Am I just someone that you don't trust anymore…?"

"Anna -"

"Tell me, Elsa."

"You won't like it -"

" _JUST FUCKING TELL ME!"_ she screamed. The burst of anger quickly made Elsa flinch, eyes widening in fear, and it was just enough to make Anna see how scared Elsa was. The one thing she knew Elsa would never feel… had shown. And the sight of that made her realize one thing. She didn't do this to herself.

The way Elsa just shook her head, her hand placed against her forehead… the way Elsa just cried…

Anna didn't mean it. Anna didn't mean to cause her such distress and fright. But she knew both of them, at this rate, anxiety level was high between them that they couldn't possibly stay calm. And while Anna wholeheartedly felt sorry, Elsa simply just cried, her hand reaching out for Anna's… and the redhead just couldn't miss the chance to give her what she wanted. The way Elsa held her after being yelled at, Anna didn't understand, but she understood they needed to be each other's rock. "I'm sorry, I…" She held it. Caressed it. Kissed it.

"Anna… he beat me."

Four words. All it took was just four words, and Anna's mind, face, body… everything just froze in place. Her widened eyes continued to shed tears as she stared at Elsa, her hands began trembling even more.

"Why?" Anna asked with the most gentle voice as she could possibly utter. "Why did he beat you…?"

Elsa picked her head up, looking straight at her. "He was jealous of you… he was jealous about the fact that I paid too much attention to you. I… Anna, I should never have - I should never have trusted him. All this time… I wanted something great from the wrong person because I didn't want you. I was stupid, I was so stupid."

The fact that Elsa had admitted that she was wrong didn't provide Anna a bit of relief or a sense of pride. Easily, what could have come out of her mouth was, "I told you so", but she couldn't say it. She only felt sorry for Elsa.

She had herself to blame. She should have been there… she should have taken the chance to go back home immediately when she could when she realized something was fishy, but she didn't. All Anna did was wallow in her own misery with Meg while her own wife had to suffer on her own. And perhaps… she had even taken comfort in the fact that Meg was in her arms. Perhaps, she had taken comfort in the fact that she had shown Elsa that someone else could love her just as much as she did, and she had busied herself with that so much that she hadn't noticed her wife calling for help. Oh, how pathetic. _I am pathetic._

Anna barely let out a cry as her tears continued to trickle down. The fingers that held on hers grew tighter, and Anna just let it happen. Slowly, she leaned in, her free hand caressing Elsa's cheek. She shook her head out of misery, out of guilt… but nothing was going to save her from the horror that Elsa had faced.

" _I'm so sorry…"_ Anna muttered, and she lowered her head, pressing Elsa's hand against it. The shaking and trembling of Elsa's fingers on her forehead felt like a knife had gone through her heart. The last time she had felt Elsa tremble was during their wedding, but this? She wondered if she wanted to feel this again because she was _drowning_ in pain for Elsa.

And, finally, with her face completely down, she cried freely. "I'm so fucking sorry…" she kept repeating, and when Elsa stayed silent… she knew there was so much more that he had done. She didn't even want to know anymore. But she had to ask. She needed to. Or else, for the rest of the week, she wouldn't be able to sleep soundly.

And gazing back up, she could just see how much Elsa had suffered in her eyes. All these years together, and this was the first time she had seen such drained expression. She even looked much older. At twenty nine years old, going thirty… her poor wife should not look like this. She should've been pampered… she should've been smiling, her eyes should have _shined_. But this was what Anna got? The guilt in her heart weighed heavily on her, and the moment Elsa had opened her mouth again to speak… she had almost lost her will to live.

* * *

The clock ticked in the silence that was Elsa's room. Her wife had fallen asleep in her arms for a while crying… and Anna was the one who put her back to bed. The sun was finally rising, the birds were chirping. Everyone was getting ready for the day… and Anna had stayed by her and Olaf's side all night long. Awake. She didn't get even a blink of sleep. She didn't need it. She needed Elsa to be safe.

She wasn't safe. Not at all.

The things Elsa had told her, the things that made her weep like a child… she had let it all out to Anna. "He touched her…" Anna mouthed, eyes staring into the sunlight. "He did this… he did this…" _Oh, God._

Anna was going to go crazy. If not, she must have already been crazy. She regretted having to hear all of this. She regretted even asking for more… because it had destroyed both of them. Anna, especially.

Guilty and angered tears continued to weep down Anna's cheek, and even though Elsa was asleep, safe and sound, finally back in her arms, all the pain that Elsa was feeling had transferred right to Anna. It was okay. She could burden this pain. However long she had to carry it. However much Elsa still had, she could take.

Truthfully, Anna felt weak. Her mind kept swirling with 'what ifs'... because if she had stayed with Elsa, none of this would have mattered. Olaf wouldn't have run. And that bastard… that bastard would have been long gone.

Slowly, she turned to eye Elsa's preciously peaceful, but injured face. The days that Anna was gone, Elsa must have not slept a single bit. He did this… and Elsa, in fear, still had to tend to him like a lowly slave. Anna didn't even want to believe for a second back then that he would do horrible things to her wife. They were always so close… so _together_ that Anna was completely blinded by just the two of them simply _being_ together. It looked nice where she stood from the side. They looked… in love.

But that wasn't love at all. Elsa had been screwed over by this fucking animal.

The woman growled, prompting Elsa to shift away, her eyes fluttering open. Elsa had always been quite a light sleeper.

"Anna…?" Slowly, she sat up. "Anna, have you not slept? Why have you just been sitting there all this time?"

Still no words.

"Are you not going to talk to me?"

She looked away. "I just… I'm angry."

The woman sighed. "I know. Please… I want you to think rationally. Ignore the bad thoughts you have. I care for you, and I know you have a lot to say. Anna, look at me -"

Before Elsa could go even further, they heard a loud bang from the first floor. The woman turned in horror to the bedroom door the moment she could hear heavy footsteps stomping into the house. "ELSA?! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

"Oh God… Anna -" She paused, and they met eye to eye. Anna was still as silent as ever, and even her wife didn't need the woman to say anything to realize what she wanted to do.

The tightening of Anna's jaw… how her own fingers tightened into fists, how her cheeks reddened with fire. The chair screeched back just a moment, and Elsa had already grabbed her tightly around the torso, another caressing her cheek. She stared sternly right into Anna's eyes. "No, _don't you dare,_ Anna."

"BABE, YOU THINK I TOOK OLAF?! YOU BITCH!"

Speaking of the devil, Elsa watched as the door opened, her boy running right into her mother's arms. "M-Mom! H-He's here!" Olaf screeched in fear, and Elsa had immediately wrapped her arm around him as well.

"I know, I know. I'm here sweetheart…" She tilted Anna's head towards her. "Anna, listen to me. Do _not_ go out there. I forbid you."

 _Why should I listen to this?_ Anna immediately grabbed Elsa's wrist and pulled it away, and just as Elsa had called her name once more, she had gotten up from her seat and swung the door open.

"Anna! Olaf, get back into your room. NOW!"

"HANS, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" the redhead yelled, her feet quickly striding down the stairs, and it was only when Anna had gotten to the bottom steps that she had caught his attention. Before he could even answer back Anna had grabbed Han's collar, and her closed fist swung right into his face. "I'm going to fucking kill you…"

She didn't expect to see such a pathetic face… such horror in his expression after the first punch. And never imagined her mind would be clouded with thoughts of humiliating him… _just like how he humiliated her…_

Before Hans could say a single word Anna had thrown multiple punches at him already. "You _fucked_ with my wife… I'll fucking kill you," she growled, and the moment she heard his first whimper… saw how Hans held his arms against his face, she grew even more furious. Did she like hitting him? Honestly… yes. She wanted this man to suffer the way Elsa did. She wanted him to be on the ground like the dog that he was… and all Anna could think about was how Elsa would whimper just like he was doing now.

"Y-You bitch!" Hans coughed out, and just as Anna was about to punch his face he had grabbed the hand that was about to land another blow. Anna didn't have time to react, and by the time she could her cheek began to sting as a fast fist met with her face. For a moment, she didn't react, staring at the ground. The blood… she could taste the blood, could hear Elsa climbing down the stairs.

"Anna!" she heard the woman cry, but she didn't give a single fuck anymore.

Anna was born in a household where everyone was open-minded… but she could never _ever_ take a single person hitting others without reason. _I'm going to kill him…_ and that thought kept running through her mind over and over again. It was almost like she didn't have control over her own body, and as much as she could feel the pain on her cheek, her hands continued to move automatically. She grabbed the man's neck with her ten fingers, pushing him back against the wall. And squeezed. Hard.

Adrenaline rushed through her like waves, and when she said she was going to kill him… oh, she stood by what she said. She needed this, not just for herself, but for her family. "You… You bastard…"

Hans' eyes were bulging. His face turning red, his veins began to emerge from his forehead to more he struggled to breathe. His arms flailed. And all he could let out was gurgles.

Anna was true to her words. She didn't want to let that motherfucker live… didn't want him touching her wife ever again. Tears began seeping through the corner of her eyes. Her mind was filled with images of Hans touching her when she didn't want it… hitting her when she had done something he didn't like. Even hitting her whenever he pleased. _That motherfucker…_

Elsa's arms quickly wrapped around her waist to try to pull her back. "Anna, stop -"

"You hit… my fucking wife…" she whimpered. Her fingers squeezed even more. Harder. His arms flailed more against the wall. "My precious… my sweetheart… and you _fucking_ broke her heart."

"Anna. Anna, look at me." After many failed attempts to pull Anna free from him, Elsa had gotten in the middle, her hands on Anna's cheeks. Thumbs began to wipe away those tears, but they couldn't get rid of this heartache… this anger she was feeling. "I'm safe. I'm safe here. I know you. Think of me, Anna… you know you don't want to do this -"

"YOU FUCKING RAPED MY WIFE!" _My whole world… my life…_

"Anna! Let him go! Look at me! Look at me, darling…" And it was only then, she seemed to have snapped out of it. Her warmth… the way Elsa had turned and wrapped her arms around her waist and leaned her head against Anna's nape of her neck. Tears continued to coat her eyes, her lips… she couldn't stop herself from weeping. Elsa didn't have to say anything, but just hearing the woman cry with her… she knew she had to stop. This wasn't right. As much as Anna wanted to kill him - and it didn't matter to her if she would have to go away for a long time - her child and wife still needed her. This had to be enough. They were safe. They were _home._ "Let him go… I don't want you hurting anyone. I know you're hurt… you're angry, and he deserves nothing but pain, but I know you, Anna. Your kind heart, your beautiful soul… and if you do this, you will never be able to rest. But I'm here, Anna… Olaf is here. Don't be the person that he is. I'm begging you."

Anna didn't want to listen. She tried so hard to not listen. And she didn't feel any better, even knowing Elsa was safe in her arms, yet… her fingers loosened. In her heart, she knew what was right for everyone, and that meant he had to be let go. If she knew what was right for everyone, she wouldn't lose Elsa again.

And just like that, with one last punch to his face - her knuckles bruised and blistered with hurt already - she kicked him out to the door. And like a dog, coughing and gasping for air… he just scrambled to the entrance. No, he was much worse than a dog. "I better not see your fucking face here. Ever. Again."

Hans merely sent her a threatening glance as he placed a hand around his neck… and while he still had seemed to have such great energy to send her that look, the way he scrambled to walk out was almost too satisfying for Anna. She wouldn't forget his face. She wouldn't be able to forget the way he pathetically scrambled out of the house, how his face was screwed up by her own hands. She wanted him to remember… this was his final time entering this house and if he even dared to come back again, Anna wouldn't hesitate to do what she was willing to do.

But out of anger and the adrenaline rush, Anna almost ran out once again, only to be held back by tight arms around her waist. "LET ME GO!" she growled.

"Anna, stop! It's okay! Everything's okay!" Elsa leaned herself right against Anna's back and pushed her against the wall, placing her hand on top of Anna's chest. Her other hand scrambled to close the door so Anna wouldn't be able to get out fast enough. "You're okay… you're okay… shh…"

Anna could feel it - how her wife was breathing on her, how she shushed her with soft whispers… how those hands began to soothe her back, and it was just another reminder of how Elsa would heal and soothe her during those bad times. Anna couldn't take it anymore. She didn't have the strength to talk, to listen… but her wife was here. Her wife was trying to make her feel her very best again.

She eyed the door, still making an effort to tug away from Elsa… and when they finally separated, Anna just felt her whole world shatter ten times over.

Slowly, Anna simply dropped onto her knees, pressing herself up against the wall, and her own trembling arms hugged herself tightly. Her whole body, mind, and soul ached. She wondered if she had done well. She wondered if they really were safe. Her knuckles hurt and bled, her cheek throbbed terribly from the punch… but nothing hurt more than to be reminded of what Elsa had told her. It haunted her. It killed her to know that Elsa had been in such pain, but still could turn a blind eye to what happened.

These last few hours… had been the most stressful hour ever, and it seemed like God was testing her loyalty to her family.

Those words… just kept repeating in her mind, destroying her… and even though she knew her wife had knelt right in front of her, trying to soothe her away from this pain, Anna… couldn't take it anymore.

Her blank eyes, almost crazed from the stress, completely broke down with streaming tears. Her body trembled as she wept loudly, her arms and hands, not knowing where to go or what to do, hugged her own legs to herself and she had placed her head right into her gap between her knees and body. Slowly, she began rocking herself, but there was no comfort in knowing that he was gone, and that Elsa was doing her best to keep her away from him. She needed to be alone. She needed to think.

But she just couldn't. _I blame myself… I blame myself… it's all my fault._

And as if Elsa had read her mind, "Shh, it's okay, it's okay… nobody is out to get you, Anna. Nobody blames you…"

She felt Elsa's chest against her head as the woman hugged her, hands running through Anna's hair… and she knew that voice wasn't just from her mind. It was Elsa's. Oh, that comforting sound of hers… the warmth that Elsa had given her. The way those arms willingly hugged her this tightly - and even herself willingly sitting on the floor beside Anna - was exactly what she needed. And Elsa just let them sway, words continuing to fall into Anna's ears like music.

All the redhead could do was wrap her fingers around Elsa's arm, gripping it tightly. She never wanted to let go. She wanted her to stay. She wanted that woman to always comfort her through difficult times, and Anna could do the same.

"He won't hurt us again… I'm so proud of you, Anna… I'm so proud of you. You're such a brave girl, such a beautiful girl… I'm here. I won't leave you. I'm safe in your arms and you're safe in mine. I've got you, sweetheart…"

For an hour, they stayed sitting on the floor. Anna had slowly calmed her breakdown, and it took an awful lot of pampering and Elsa talking to her constantly to do that. No… it wasn't until her divorce that she had started having these… feelings. No self-worth, anxiety, depression, mental and emotional stress… had hit her all at once, and for these past few hours, it had hit her hard.

But she was lucky. Elsa was here, and while Anna had no expectations of her, Elsa had taken care of her.

Hand in hand, Elsa had brought her to the couch to tend to her wounds. Anna still wasn't able to talk to her, but that's alright. The silence… it was what she needed most after everything.

Still, though, her eyes were glued to Elsa, who was busy wiping the blood of off Anna's broken lip. A soft ball of cotton with alcohol pressed gently on her skin, and Anna had barely winced. Up close… even if Elsa had been hurt as well, she was as beautiful as ever. She just couldn't possibly admit it.

"Sorry if it's stinging you," Elsa whispered, her eyes paying most attention to the wound. "It'll leave a bruise on you for a few weeks… God, I'm so sorry, Anna…"

Anna simply stared at her, and after a moment of not answering, well… Elsa simply didn't really care. She placed a small bandage on the cut of her lip and started tending to the broken skin of her knuckles.

For the first time, and it almost seemed like forever, she noticed Elsa smiling. A genuine smile actually. A chuckle even.

Elsa had run the pad of her fingers against Anna's, her other hand gently dabbing a cotton ball on her knuckles. "I know your punches can be rough… but to be this rough to break your skin? I think you should get back to the gym soon."

At that, Anna managed to force a smile, which Elsa had caught on.

"You're smiling. Am I glad to see that."

"You are too," Anna replied, and their fingers gently entwined, eyes silently wandering at each other. _Oh, the calmness… can't I have just a moment of peace? Just like this with just her…_ "Thank you," Anna whispered.

"For what?"

"For being honest with me." Anna smiled, her hand slowly tightening around Elsa's. She watched as the blonde slowly turned her body towards her, eyes looking away. She knew this was something hard to express through words. But Anna was patient. She had been patient… for a year without Elsa, what was another minute? "And… for not letting me do something that I might regret."

Elsa shook her head. "I couldn't tell you at first. It was humiliating. I couldn't bear that thought of him hurting you. I needed you. I had to protect you and Olaf, so I did whatever he wanted."

"I know." She sighed. "Thank you for telling me."

"What happened back there… was that a repeating occurrence? Tell me honestly." Elsa stared at her sternly, her fingers stopped moving. Something about seeing that… seemed so caring. Scary.

 _But repeating? Who knows._ Anna didn't know if she should say. But this was her wife… and she knew Elsa cared. She nodded. "Yeah."

"When was the last time before this?"

 _Fuck._ Anna took a deep staggering breath, eyes wandering anxiously. "When Olaf… was missing. I was trying to find him. Got frustrated. Hit myself a couple of times…"

"Anna…"

"The other time was with Meg. The… I-I don't know. We talked about you. And things just got… bad. Wasn't as bad as today. I… I didn't do anything. I just broke down. I couldn't handle it."

"Anna, do you need a therapist?"

 _A therapist?_ Anna shook her head immediately, chuckling nervously. "N-No. I… It's fine. It's… nothing I can't handle."

"You _hurt_ yourself." Elsa breathed out, squinting, and she ran her fingers back through Anna's messy fringes. A slight bruise smack dab on her forehead was more than visible. "Anna, _God_ , look what happened."

"I-It's fine -"

"All because of me…" Elsa sighed, her hand caressing Anna's cheek, and she could just _feel_ it. The warmth. The thousands of apologies that Elsa wanted to make. Yes, Anna did it for her, but it didn't matter if it could just hold her family together. She didn't, _couldn't_ think about herself, and if she needed to suffer just to hold her wife and child again, she'd do it a thousand times.

Her teal eyes glazed with unshed tears, watching as Elsa played with her fingers… their foreheads touching each other. She missed this. _They_ missed this. "I'm so sorry." And, finally, their eyes met.

The love… the gentle expression… _that feeling_ of being first in love was all coming back when she stared into those ocean blue eyes. They were hurt, but, at least, they were hurt together. _I missed that._

"Anna… Anna, I was wrong." Elsa opened her mouth, only to close it. Multiple times. And only when Anna squeezed her hand back, the blonde smiled, and it was such a painful smile. _Perhaps, she really knows she did wrong._ "I don't deserve you. I treated you like nothing but… shit, and you did all this. I forgot what it was like to be so in love, and you made me realize why I fell in love with you in the first place. Anna, I could never repay you. But for once…"

 _What is this_?

"For once… give me one more chance. Just one. We could be like that again."

 _Do I want this?_

Anna could barely stretch a smile for her. Her heart never beat so fast before, and just simply looking into Elsa's eyes, she knew those words held so much meaning. So much trust. Trust that Elsa wanted from Anna. Undoubtedly, she would give Elsa the whole world, and there was a moment that she wouldn't deny giving her that chance.

So much had happened… and finally, Elsa was able to realize Anna only wanted what's best for everyone. At last, Elsa realized what it meant to love.

Her trembling lips opened, wanting to say those three words they had both yearned to say and hear for so long… and all that came out was air. A moment of silence had passed, and Anna took a second look at her wife. A second look at the person that stopped loving her for who she was.

She was reminded of someone else. Someone else that had been by her side… someone else that had held her in her arms whenever it was possible, someone else who would steal kisses from her every chance she got…

Someone else who actually loved her, and someone who she adored, herself. Meg.

Her smile faded, her heart stopped beating for Elsa. Her heart continued to beat for Meg. Anna couldn't choose. There _shouldn't_ be any choosing because she had already had something she needed. Something that Anna could not trust that Elsa could give anymore.

And slowly, she let go of her beloved's hand.

* * *

a/n: now, i know everyone may be icky about how anna spanked her son. this is definitely her first time doing it... and i will tell you she does not condone to it whatsoever even as her emotions took over her.


	28. Chapter 28: falling for u was my mistake

This silence became overbearing, and the weight of expectations began to burden her shoulders even though there was just a single blue pair staring at her. Waiting for her. The light in those irises slowly faded, and the hopeful smile Elsa had started to feel like they were all made up of desperation. Anna would have guessed it. In the back of her mind, deep down in her heart, she didn't _want_ to think that Elsa was only turning to her because the person that made her love life interesting had turned into an abusive asshole. Even though she tried to convince herself that this wasn't what Elsa was trying to do, it almost felt like it.

Rejection… Anna had never rejected her. Never felt the need to reject her wife, but she had someone in her life already. How could she say yes to someone that kept her in the dark for so long? How could she say yes, when the only person she had been chasing after had been saying no to her?

Slowly, Anna wrapped her fingers around her own waist, pushing herself away… and her eyes wandered off to the side. She shouldn't be feeling guilty, but she was feeling it. And if that's what it meant to keep herself sane once more, she didn't mind it one bit. If it meant that they would not feel broken together, then it was all worth it.

Right now, the only thought she had was that she couldn't betray Meg. She wasn't going to be that person.

"Anna?" The single, soft voice pronouncing her name startled Anna. She'd have to see the disappointment in her eyes. And right now, Anna wasn't sure if she wanted that. _But if I need this for myself… I need to say it._ "Anna, what do you say? We could learn about each other. Again." Again. _Is that what I want?_

Sighing, Anna managed to grab onto her hand once more. Squeezed it. _I hope she understands._ She gazed with such love and warmth at those hands that she felt guilty for wanting something for herself… for thinking that this was for the best of them. "We've spent… seven, almost eight years of our lives together. We've been divorced for ten months. I love you. God, I really do. But during these past few months, we both found someone in our lives that would love us the way we wanted because we couldn't make each other happy. I found someone… who could make me happy. I want to stay that way."

Silent. It was way too silent.

Anna wasn't sure what she was expecting. She stared at her ex-lover… anticipating crying. Anticipating anger. But all she saw was a blank expression… and those pale cheeks began to redden as Elsa let out a small smile. An accepting smile. And when Elsa nodded, gazing down at her own hands, Anna felt as if she had done wrong to her. But just for herself, _only_ herself, she wanted to find happiness with someone else. It wasn't hard. _But why does it feel like I can't let her go?_

"You found someone that you truly enjoy being with… someone that will love you the way I didn't."

Anna nodded slowly in agreement. _Does she understand? Truly?_ "I… I love you. So much. And I will always do my very best to take care of you… to take care of Olaf. But I have my own happiness to look forward to. I -"

Elsa chuckled bitterly. At this point, Anna understood they were just never going to be the same. Elsa… especially, with her eyes gazing ever so distantly, containing all these memories of them together, perhaps, she knew better than either of them that nothing was going to be the same. "I... have so many regrets, Anna."

"I do too." _I wish she can see that. I wish she could see that I have changed too._

"I wish it didn't have to end like this."

"And yet it has," Anna whispered, and she allowed herself to caress the back of Elsa's hand with the pad of her fingers. She could feel the slight tremble… the nervousness… and perhaps, beyond that nervousness, Elsa was angry at herself. Anna couldn't speak for her. She gazed into those blue eyes, and all she saw was the heartbreak, the acceptance of her rejection. But Anna knew she couldn't fall for it. She couldn't fall for _her._

Her heart had been squeezed by hurtful words, and right now, all she could be was Elsa's comfort and reassurance. "I will always love you," she breathed, fingers running through her blonde hair. Oh, when was the last time she had felt her hair? When was the last time she would feel Elsa lean into her hand…? _When_ was the last time Elsa had wept, had shed a tear… had hugged her?

Anna didn't act surprised when she felt arms suddenly embracing her. Squeezing her. And at this point, she knew Elsa didn't want to let her go. But she had to. She must.

Her hands hesitated to soothe her back, and once it brushed her slender shoulder blades… Anna let the woman cry on her. She had come to the realization that Elsa had been enduring and concealing her emotions for weeks. Months, even. Her wounds, her hurt emotions, her muffled cries for help… and, now, Anna was the next person to hurt her once more.

She never wanted this. They never expected this. And while Anna wanted badly to just drown in the comfort of Elsa's body, voice, her precious tears… her mind was clouded with her lover back at home giving her the best of everything.

She sighed, breathing into her scent, eyes shutting the moment the scent had come to her. Oh, how wonderful she remember her smelling. How much she reminded Anna of _home._ She held her tightly, and she allowed the woman to cry on her more. She had to cry more. Anna would remember her. _I love her… but I can't do this._

"Anna…"

"I know, beautiful. I know. It hurts…" _Is that enough?_ "But I will always be there for you. I won't let you be hurt again."

Almost immediately, Elsa pulled away, sniffling. Her cheeks stained with tears.

All she had given was a loving smile and her hands running down the side of Anna's arms. The blonde shook her head, dropping them down. "Anna, I… do not want you to feel what I have been feeling these days. I want you to happy, and I know she will give you everything that you need. But I will prove to you…"

Anna tilted her head, and as their fingers met, she wrapped her own around Elsa's. "Prove to me?"

"That I have changed. I… will _not_ be the person that I was to you."

Anna had never felt such relief, hearing those words coming out of Elsa's mouth. Was this a dream? A joke? Because… it wasn't funny. Anna wanted this… wanted to see that Elsa she had once fallen in love with, and that person was staring right at her. She wanted to see the woman that would always kiss her goodnight. That would wrap her arms around her when time permitted. That would take her to trips… that would love her… that would cherish her with times were rough.

The beautiful lover that had once done her wrong had changed. But for what? What use was there, having to change now? The deed was done, and Anna had fallen in love with somebody else. She couldn't help smiling though. This situation… had been so mentally and emotionally exhausting, and now, she could see Elsa still had a heart. Not just for herself… but for Anna. And for as long as she had been with Elsa, she believed that the woman she had fallen in love with had become cold. Empty. Not a single thing - not even Anna -could stop Elsa from destroying their marriage for the sake of happiness. But now… perhaps, Anna knew they were so blinded by their own selfish needs - unable to talk to each other, unable to say what they wanted from each other by the assumption that they just wouldn't be understood - that their love… had shattered.

Only, it _did_ shatter, and there was no going back. Did Elsa deserve this? _I wish I could say yes._

And if Anna had said yes… she would be the selfish one.

Holding her hand, Anna realized how warm they were. How warm Elsa was. She remembered… the times that she was exactly like this, and how much Anna loved one of her many features. When their bodies touched. When she could hear Elsa calling her name - Nothing else would have mattered.

She shut her eyes. _I can't._ "Thank you, Elsa."

"I… I don't want you to be hurt anymore. I did so much to you. I only wish you the best, and…"

"And?"

Elsa smiled. Chuckled. "Maybe we can have a drink sometimes."

Ah. That, Anna would love. She'd very much prefer that they could just act normal, talking about their day, instead of drama like this. The Elsa she knew could talk to her casually, smile for her… laugh for her… drink with her without a care in the world. And just like that, Anna nodded with a burst of small laughter. "I'd love to."

* * *

The day had finally lost its light. Night had fallen, the air had gotten colder, and she hungered for the peace and quiet that she had been wanting for a long time. All Anna wanted to do was plop in bed and stay under her blanket for days on end. Never had she felt so… spent. So weak.

The emotional rollercoaster that day had been too overwhelming, and it hurt that she was the one that had to clean up all this mess. She wished she could call for help, but it was already too late.

She had fed her family. Given them the best care she could. Tended to Elsa's wounds, and her own. Tended to her son's emotions. And now, all Anna wanted was to be back in her own home… wallow in her own emotions, drown herself in alcohol to cure her unhappiness, wash herself up with love, and perhaps, even try to cure herself with a body next to her… She needed to be in the comfort of her own home, in the arms of the person that would always tend to her.

Time continued to pass, and as she entered her apartment and closed the front door… she eyed the television in exhaustion. The news was on. The smell of food wafted in the air. Her ears were filled with the sound of footsteps coming closer to her, and her lover's eyes quickly met her own. Her lovely smile contrasted with the trembling of her own lips.

She needed this… her sunshine smile, the casual outfit she wore… how much it felt like she was at _home_ with her.

"Welco -" Meg stopped.

Silence overtook them, and Anna just stood by the front door like a statue. Unable to move. Unable to even begin to say, "I'm home".

Her eyes, tired and unsure, stared at Meg's shocked expression. She was… disappointed. Embarrassed. She wanted everything to go smoothly, and she knew Meg wished for this as well. But here she was, shoulders slouched, the skin of her knuckles and lips broken, her eyes that were supposed to shine for Meg had been completely drained. She wouldn't be surprised if her brunette would just give up on her at once. _She wouldn't take care of me now, would she? I'm always testing her… aren't I?_

But it didn't take another moment. Meg had stopped smiling, and when Anna least expected it she had quickly lifted the redhead in her arms and carried her.

"Meg -"

"Shh."

Her arm instinctively wrapped around Meg's shoulders… and all Anna could do was eye her lover's sternness. Never had she seen how serious her lover could be… how much care was in the glow of her eyes. And, at last… she felt safe. At last, she felt herself melting in her arms.

She let out a small whimper, leaning herself into the crook of Meg's neck as she walked. Her scent was always calming and relaxing… and all she wanted was to simply be with Meg, have those wonderful fingers run down her hair, her body… Oh, it would make her feel so much better.

Entering the bedroom, she felt Meg hug her body, carefully wrapping her in a blanket. It was just silent. Meg didn't ask anything. Didn't pry. She didn't need to because that woman was intuitive enough to understand Anna had gone through some hard times. _Like always, huh_?

Warm hands began caressing her body… tender fingers tracing her wounds. Anna couldn't sleep though, and they both knew it.

They would stay here however long they needed… and only then, when she was ready, Anna would talk.

The clock ticked loudly in the room but all Anna could hear was the music of her lover's heart beating. Quite fast honestly. And it didn't matter if Meg's heart was beating because of all the questions swirling in her head or because she was just ecstatic that Anna was here… but at least, her heart was beating for Anna.

She shut her eyes, her hand gripping on Meg's waist, her head slowly pressed against her chest. She wanted to cry, but after hours of distress… after losing her _mind_ , Anna had gone numb. The small whimper she let out was enough to make Meg embrace her harder, lips pecking loving, reassuring kisses on her forehead.

"I've got you, beautiful…" Meg whispered. "You're safe now. Would you like me to make you something -"

Anna immediately grabbed her lover's hand. "N-No. No… just… stay here with me."

The woman slowly relaxed with a nod. They were going to have to get comfortable for a very long time. "Okay, I'll be here. Always."

And all Anna _wanted_ to hear was more of the soft sweet whispers of Meg's voice singing to her like a lullaby.

She didn't dare touch Meg again though. Didn't have the energy to. For a time, they stayed like this, Anna slowly lulled into relaxation, but emotionally? Mentally? She couldn't stop thinking despite wanting to so badly. She felt her clothes slowly being taken off her… and she knew Meg was merely trying to change her clothes. To see if there were any more wounds.

It was different… so different. Meg was treating her like a princess, like a proper girlfriend tending to Anna who had been hurt, who had been _scarred._ Who would do such a thing for her? Spoil her?

Anna couldn't give her anything, and yet… just looking at Meg, it seemed like simply letting her do this would make the brunette content. Her heart pounded. Skipped. She had never felt so loved and so cared for… and, once she had been stripped bare, Meg had her arms wrapped around her once again. Ah, how warming. How lovely.

For a while, they didn't say anything once again. The only background noise loud enough was the television out in the living room.

She desired the feeling of someone being next to her, to warm her up. To _love_ her the way she needed to be loved. And she was getting everything that she wished for.

Slowly, she opened her eyes and gazed at Meg. Fingers continued to run through her hair, another caressing the bruise on her broken lips… and it was a small moment where their eyes met and she felt a pair of perfect lips lean in to kiss her broken lips. To love her. Oh, Anna never wanted this to stop. She wanted to _drown_.

But she knew Meg wouldn't let her drown. She didn't whine when they pulled away, didn't pout when Meg still gazed at her ever so sternly. "What happened?" _Ah, there it is._

Anna opened her mouth, only to close it again. She wasn't sure what she should say first. So many things had happened these past few hours that she wanted to simply lie and say she just had an accident. She knew Meg would want to know the truth though. Lying… was never her best suit.

Feeling Meg caress her cheek, she returned the favor by holding her hand, kissing the back. _I need her… more than ever._ "Meg… I…"

"Tell me. You're okay, I'm here." _Oh, this is so nice… this_ _feels_ _so real._ Those tender eyes. That reassuring smile. Anna was safe in her arms. "Look at you… what did you do for Elsa and Olaf? What did you do to _yourself_?"

 _Fuck…_ Her heart had dropped instantly. Talking about her own feelings… was never easy. She didn't want to get rejected, but in her safe arms, she knew she would never be rejected. She would be understood. She had someone that would listen to her. "I… I did what I had to do…"

"What did you do, beautiful?" Meg pushed a loose strand of red hair behind Anna's ear.

"I came home with Olaf, and just… God, I-I… her face. Hans…" Warm, loving arms immediately wrapped around her head, fingers running through her hair. And while Anna choked up, her lover was doing her very best to spoil her.

"Okay, baby. I think I know where this is going. Take your time, Anna… I'm here." _I will. Oh, I will._

It took an hour for her to say what she had to say. Not because there was a lot to say… but it was a lot to take in. And over that long hour, Meg stayed calm… collected, asking questions when she didn't understand, listening when she was meant to listen. It _felt_ good - to let it all out, to let herself loosen up to her lover. Gods, it felt so good… but it was the most _scarring_ conversation she had.

Late dinner quickly came to her when Meg came into the room with a tray of food. She had never once taken her eyes of Meg when she was being fed.

"Tasty?" Meg asked, feeding her another spoonful of rice.

Anna scoffed playfully. "I'm not a child."

She sighed. "After today… I think it's best if I take care of you. How are you feeling?"

"Exhausted."

"I'm proud of you, Anna." She fed the redhead another spoonful. "I was worried about you. You didn't answer my calls, my texts -"

"I didn't want you to be involved. I'm sorry."

Meg rolled her eyes. "I'm your _girlfriend_. I'm sort of involved if you're hurt like this. Plus… you know I'm worried about Olaf too."

"I know." _She really doesn't have to be._ "I'm okay, I promise."

When Meg didn't respond Anna knew she didn't believe her one bit. She realized how wrong she had been to lie when Meg dropped the spoon in the bowl and her violet eyes stared at her in disbelief. After being together for some time, they were already at a point where they could truly sense how the other felt, and it looked like Meg could see through her as fast as the blowing wind.

"Anna, you know you don't have to carry this burden all by yourself."

Ah, true words. Anna couldn't disagree. But she was reluctant to agree. She nodded, pursing her lips into a tight smile. "I know. I'm not. But, hey… I told you everything's okay now. I'm just… a little traumatized."

"I can see that. Do you need time off from work?"

As much as Anna didn't like to do that, her mental health came first. At least, she knew that. "Yeah."

"Alright. I'll call your work first thing tomorrow morning. Hey." Meg reached out to squeeze Anna's shoulder. "If there's anything that's bothering you or… if you feel like you need to hide, don't. I'm your girlfriend, you can trust me. Right?"

Timidly, Anna nodded. "Right."

With a loving kiss on the lips, Meg slowly got up. "Alright, I'm going to clean up. You rest."

With the door closed, Anna felt oddly empty. More than she should be feeling. It would only just be for a bit, but she missed having Meg by her side. The shadow of her arms around her wasn't enough. Curling her knees up to her chin, arms hugging her legs, she gazed at her feet blankly. After telling Meg so much about what had happened… she did leave one thing out. One thing that she knew with absolute certainty not to say. Ever.

Elsa… wanted her back.

God, it sounded so wrong as she continued to think about it. All this time, trying to chase her… only for Elsa to end up saying those words. Those words that Anna once badly wanted to hear. She always thought it was… alright to tell Meg everything because they trusted each other that much. It was so simple. But, perhaps, in the back of her mind, she thought Meg would just take this the wrong way. How could she not? Anna didn't trust herself with her own words… her own feelings and she wondered if Meg was true to her own words when she said Anna could tell her anything, no matter if was about Elsa or herself.

No. Even knowing how open-minded Meg could be, she didn't want to risk hurting her. Never.

* * *

A week had passed. The room in the morning smelled like alcohol and air freshener. Her bedside table was filled with empty beer bottles and crumbled pieces of paper napkins. Her sheets were stained with the scent of her own self, pitiful tears, and she couldn't be bothered to clean herself all up. She felt dirtied.

Day after day her guilt, and voicemails, continued to pile up. Elsa called every day, but Anna never had the courage to answer her, until finally, Anna decided to turn her phone off. She hadn't gone to pick up Olaf and drop him off at home. Elsa had been doing all of this, and every day her sorry self could not gather the energy to apologize to Elsa.

She didn't have much to apologize for, though. She only wanted to apologize for wanting a week to herself to think. A week to think ended up being a week of wallowing in sorrow in bed. No food. No showering. Little water.

Meg hadn't come up either. Anna didn't want her to. She promised Meg she would be able to take care of herself, but… this wasn't what she was doing. This seemed like punishment. Come to think of it, Anna didn't need any punishing. Anna didn't need to stay at home, drowning in her own sorrows, but -

How could she explain this? Well, how could she face Elsa after what had happened? After hearing Elsa say she had been raped, beaten, ridiculed?

She should've been there to take care of Elsa, yet, here she was.

She rubbed her hand down her face, sighing. It was enough. It should be enough. A week had passed and she had done nothing but hug her bed like a child. _God damn it._

Anna looked to her side, seeing the mess on the floor. She gazed at the mirror attached to the closet, and she could almost see the glistening oil in her hair and her dry skin from the lack of cleaning. She could almost smell her own scent.

She was about to get up when she heard the front door from the living room opening and closing. Quick footsteps stomped through the hallway, getting louder and louder as they came closer to her room. She was absolutely terrified of what was about to happen, but her expression didn't betray her terror, looking as if she didn't give two shits.

Her bedroom door swung open, and there was Meg. Hands on her hip, violet eyes glaring right at her. "Get up."

"Meg…"

The woman growled, walking towards her, a finger stabbed right against Anna's chest. "That is _enough_. Get the hell up." She flung the blanket off Anna. "You do not get to ignore my calls anymore, nor do you get to ignore Elsa's. You get up right now, and stop acting like a child!"

Anna looked away, head facing down. _She's disappointed too?_ "I… was about to -"

Meg sighed, straightening herself up, hands flung in the air before dropping them down. "Anna," she looked around, shaking her head, "stop _worrying_ us. If you need help, I'll help you. Don't just ignore me."

She was right. She was reluctant to ask for help, and yet, she didn't understand why. Perhaps, she didn't want to be embarrassed… or perhaps she didn't want to burden others, but Anna reminded herself - she had to take care of her own mental health.

Swallowing her pride, she looked down, nodding. The way Meg was gazing at her with concern and disappointment discouraged her from telling her lover anything. "Yeah… I… I know. I was about to get up and clean."

Meg stayed where she was like she didn't believe what Anna had said. "How much did you drink? Five bottles a day? Ten?"

Anna shook her head. "N-No -"

"You can't keep doing this, Anna. You can't do this to yourself." When Meg finally plopped down on the bed she took Anna's hand and looked into her eyes. "I can't see you _drown_ , beautiful…" She felt sorry for Meg, honestly. The woman had done so much for her, and all Anna had ever been was a burden. Feeling lips kissing her palm, she realized no matter how stern Meg's words were, at least, she meant well. "Talk to me, Anna… _please._ "

 _Talking…_ Anna was up for it. She had to be. Looking away with pursed lips, she wondered where she should begin. Her mind swirled, but every thought she had, she simply put aside because she didn't deem it fair enough to tell Meg. Yet. "I just…" She gazed down at their warmly entwined hands. "I needed space for myself. To reflect. Meg… he raped her. To know that my wife had suffered through so much, making sure our son kept it quiet from me… do you know how that feels?" Her eyebrows furrowed, fingers fisting the sheet of her bed. "It's been haunting me, knowing I couldn't do anything. That I _didn_ ' _t_ do anything."

"Anna, it's not your fault -"

She scoffed wetly. "How could it not be? I knew something was wrong - you did too - and I didn't push further when I was asking questions."

"Anna, she wouldn't have told you either way."

"But you don't know that…" Anna croaked, pinching the bridge of her nose, her tears slowly streaming down her cheeks. She was so sick of crying, and while she thought she had no tears left, her voice cracked, and her throat felt more constricted than ever. " _You don't know that."_

Fingers gently ran through her hair, and she knew Meg was gazing at her with such intent and concern, ears completely opened for her to talk to. But in her heart, she knew… she knew Meg didn't want to hear any of the things that were in her head. She was Meg's girlfriend, for God's sake. Nobody would want to hear about someone's ex-wife and son.

She sniffled, chuckling. "God, this is so stupid… I'm sorry, I know you don't want to hear any of this -"

"You need to stop doing what you're doing right now."

"What?"

Meg raised her eyebrows. "Blaming yourself? Do you really think this is all on you? This was never on you. You did what you had to do. Find love, find happiness. Not knowing what's happening in Elsa's life is not. On. You. Do you understand?"

 _Fuck…_ Anna stayed quiet. At least now, she knew Meg would be the voice of reason… the voice that could get her to sleep at night. She realized how much she had blamed herself for what had happened. This wasn't healthy, and even without realizing it, other people would catch on. Perhaps, Elsa had caught on a long time ago. Being selfless… didn't mean she had to be submissive to others as well.

Biting her lip, her shoulders slouched and she relaxed, just as Meg had wanted her to. Right now, she was able to see that… well, the abuse, the ruin of their marriage, and Elsa's poor life were not because of her.

Feeling a hand caressing her cheek, she decided to lean in. But she needed more. Reaching out - oh, this was the first time for a week - she grabbed Meg's shoulder and led them both into a hug. And Meg could give her the best, the warmest of hugs.

Anna could drown in her touch, her scent… but she just closed her eyes, tears squeezing out - mostly happy and grateful tears - her head leaning right against her shoulder. "I love you," she whispered.

"Oh, darling, I love you… God, look at you…" Meg chuckled, rocking them both side to side. This could definitely lull Anna to sleep once more. "I leave you to yourself for a week and I'm seeing a mess all around. What are you going to do without me?"

Anna muffled a laugh against her shoulder. "It's up for debate. Thank you for telling me all of this. I wouldn't have known… wouldn't have been convinced."

"Anna, I will you pick you back up every time you fall down. It doesn't matter how many times you fall… I'm always here to catch you." Meg slowly pulled away, fingers playing with the fringes of Anna's auburn hair, pushing them back… and all Anna could gaze at was the beautiful glint in her eyes. "So no matter how much I need to yell at you or to spoil you… just know that I'm here because I care and I love you. And sure, you think you're right sometimes when you're not thinking, but I will tell you why you are wrong, and I know you will listen. You're strong, Anna. Don't forget that."

 _Ah… she always knows how to make me feel better._ Anna didn't have to say a single word to let Meg know that she was grateful. That she wouldn't be able to do anything if it weren't for her words. But she leaned in, tender lips on lips, they kissed to show her gratitude. Her love. And feeling Meg smiling against her - even though she had been yelling at her a moment ago - gave Anna the best joy. Back then, she realized how undeserving she felt. But, God, did Anna feel so deserved and loved. The sweetness in the kiss just showed all that.

Pulling away, finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Meg licked her lips with her eyebrows raised. "Anna, you really need to clean up." She laughed, getting up to her closet.

Anna pouted when fresh clothes were thrown at her. _Well, I thought that was a nice kiss._ "What, you don't like my morning breath?"

She squinted playfully. "I don't think it's _just_ your morning breath."

"Ouch. Way to ruin the mood." She turned to her phone. Ah, that was right… she had a phone call to make to make up for all the missing ones that Elsa had sent her. Right now, she wondered if she was doing alright. If… everything was really back to normal. If her bruises were fully healed and she would be able to get out of the house again.

Meg seemed to notice her gaze longingly at her phone, her smile slowly disappearing. "You know, Olaf didn't come to school for a week."

"Oh…" She couldn't let go of the sight.

"Elsa's worried. Make that call soon, alright? I'll cook breakfast for you." The door slowly creaked open, and she knew Meg had to be gazing at her still. Though… she wasn't sure how the woman was looking at her. Right now, her main concern was how she should explain to her ex-wife why she went silent this past week.

"Yeah, I'll… I'll be here for a bit." Slowly, she reached out for her phone, turning it back on.

"And clean up those bottles while you're at it."

"Yeah."

"When you're feeling better, come out. We will talk, and we'll eat, alright?"

Anna didn't reply back though, completely ignoring her, and immediately what followed was the loud slamming of the door shut. She wasn't startled. She had all her attention to her phone, contemplating what she should say, contemplating what her wife would say to her. One thing she understood was that… Elsa wanted to mend their relationship back together. That was something Anna was glad about and should be glad about. Her intentions though… still weren't clear. _I have a girlfriend. I can't mess around now…_

But Anna wasn't missing the chance to have what she used to have with Elsa. At the very least, they weren't strangers anymore.

Slowly, she turned her phone on to see the dozens of missed calls these past few days. This couldn't wait any longer. _Because I need this. I need to have closure._

* * *

a/n: *sips tea* ah, everyone's riot from last chapter was satisfying


	29. Chapter 29: It Hurts to Love You

_a/n: in celebration of frozen 2... there's nsfw time! ALSO if anyone wants to talk to me and discuss stuff, come find me on my tumblr: not-rotting . Tumblr. Com_

* * *

Anna was hesitant. Even after Meg had left, the muscles on her fingers stiffened, almost like they didn't want Anna to talk to her wife, didn't even want Anna to hear how her wife was doing. The slight relaxation and relief Meg had given her quickly grown heavier the more time had passed. The more she stared at the blank screen of her phone, the more she felt obligated to call to sooth the complete regret and shame in her heart, but she just _couldn't._

Anna didn't want to call Meg back in to help her find her courage, no. She was an adult, she didn't need anyone - her girlfriend especially - to babysit her. But it seemed fitting now because Anna felt like a child who was afraid to admit her wrongdoing. Except… she wasn't wrong. She was _afraid._

 _But what am I scared of?_ Rejection? Her anger? Her worry? Perhaps, Elsa had gone to meet another person. _That's absurd. She wouldn't._

She swallowed, taking a deep breath, her head tilted up to the ceiling. Anything to calm her down. Slowly, she turned her phone on and was immediately bombarded with text notifications from Elsa this past week. Meg, as well.

At around 12PM, she realized Elsa must have been having lunch at home, or perhaps, outside… but after what happened a week ago, she doubted Elsa was fully healed enough to be comfortable getting out of the house.

With that thought in mind, she called her wife, placing her phone against her ear. For the first time in quite a long time, Anna felt nervous.

Her mental health hadn't been too great lately. But as much as she wanted to mope around for some 'reflection time', she had other things to take care of, and that also meant she needed to care for her wife. She needed this, or else, she would never be able to stop thinking about it for the rest of her life.

Ten seconds later, Elsa answered the phone. Anna felt herself starting to sweat. " _Anna? Anna, is that you? Gods, you got me worried sick."_

That much was evident in Elsa's trembling voice. Anna wasn't sure if she should be grateful or even pitiful that someone like Elsa would be this worried about her. She sighed, smiling to herself. "Hey, Elsa. Sorry." _Is that really all I can say? Sorry?_ Anna held herself back from smacking herself silly.

" _Anna…"_ she sighed, " _it's been a week. You can't ignore me." Why are they saying the same fucking thing?_

She swiped her hand over her hair, gazing at the trash-ridden floor. She pulled her left leg over her chest, stretching out her other. If she could have a smoke, she would… only, she wished she could smoke to numb what she was feeling. Drinking was tiring. It was always the same, and every time she drank, the more she drowned in her misery, the more she remembered Elsa. "I'm not…" she whispered.

" _Tell me how you really feel, Anna."_

"I can't," she breathed.

" _Why not? Anna, I want to see you."_

Anna sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "Look, there are so many things… I still need to figure out."

" _You can't keep doing this."_

"You and Meg always know what to say. I'm fine. Just… give me a day or two."

" _Anna, you know I can't help but worry. I just want you to be happy."_

She pressed her lips against her knee, gazing down emptily. She knew she had to make an effort to be happy. Why couldn't she? What had changed? Elsa was safe, her son was safe… and, yet, Anna wasn't budging. She swallowed. Perhaps, she just needed a push to try. Her eyes shut, lips pursed tightly together. It was the least she could do. "I know. How's everything? How are your bruises?" She needed a change in subject.

" _It's fading. Slowly, but… I can manage."_

"I'm sorry."

" _No, you're my hero, Anna. I wouldn't have done the same. Olaf sees you the same way as well."_

Anna chuckled, almost bashful, almost in disbelief. "Well, I wonder how long that is going to last before he begins to see me as a burden."

" _Anna, you know he won't, don't say things like that."_

"I know." She hugged herself tighter. "Anyway, I… I'm fine. I had a lot of things to take in, but… I'm taking your advice. Resting, you know?"

" _Anna, but for a week?_ "

"Don't worry. I know it's time to get up," she laughed, rocking herself slightly. Even now, she still held onto her playful personality. She realized Elsa didn't seem too convinced. She listened to the woman sigh, almost too forcefully. "Didn't you want to see me?"

" _Of course_ _I want to see you, Anna. I don't want you to_ _lie_ _just to make me not worry, that's all."_

Anna didn't deny it. She sat up straight. This time, she really was going to try her best to be happy. Elsa would like that. After everything… any kind of light talk would be perfect. "Elsa, you… really need to take a chill pill."

" _I'll take a 'chill pill' when I see you. Olaf misses you."_

Ah, her boy. How could she forget about her boy? "Why don't you bring him here? We can talk."

A few moments of shuffling later, " _Honey, it's Mama! Come talk with her for a bit! … Mama?!"_

Oh, the sweet, urgent voice of his. Anna's heart immediately started melting. She missed him so dearly, she wished she could have him in her arms already. She couldn't remember the last time she had heard the joy in her son's voice. Well, in fact, she didn't feel deserving to hear such urgency when she knew she had disciplined him in such a way that she never would have thought she would discipline him. "Hey, sweetie. How are you doing?" she asked, her voice softer than a feather.

" _Good! Mama, I missed you…"_

"I know. I do too."

" _Mama, have you been home? Mom said you've been home all week. Are you okay?"_

"Mama's okay," she laughed. "I feel more energized now that I'm hearing your voice. Have you been good?"

" _Yes! I'm good! I took care of Mom nice and good!"_

"Great job." She fidgeted in her spot, biting her bottom lip. "Mama… is sorry for what happened. But I'm glad you two are okay. Especially, you, baby. I can't let anything happen to you."

For a moment, Olaf didn't say anything. The phone echoed with a few sounds of what seemed like whispering. Then giggles. Anna knew it wasn't just Olaf speaking to himself.

" _Yes, Mama, I know. You're big and strong, and one day, I want to be like you so that I can protect you and Mom from danger as well!"_

At that, Anna had a burst of humble and bashful laughter. She knew Olaf would be the type of child to say something like this, but she didn't expect him to really say it. Admiration had always been strong in Olaf's personality. But then again, he could admire his stuffed animal just because they kept him company at home.

She listened as her son continue to talk, and her door creaked open just slightly from a breeze of wind. It wasn't cold, but Meg must have opened the window as well. She gazed down at her knees, hugging them tightly to her arms. "Olaf, Mama is always proud of you, you know that?"

" _Yes!"_

"Good, now bring Mom over so I can talk to her."

" _But Mamaaaa ~"_

"I _will_ see you soon, honey. Alright?"

" _Okay…"_ A few seconds of fumbling sounded, only for a different familiar voice to pick up. " _Olaf has been asking about you all week, you know?"_ Elsa sighed, prompting the small smile that Anna had to disappear. It wasn't right to disappear, she realized. For Olaf, she would do anything. Though, this past week… she had become a coward to her family. Where was that anger and… willingness that she had back then? _Maybe I've just ran out of fuel._

But she was glad to hear Olaf was missing her. She was afraid her little boy would be afraid of her after that night. After his… _punishment._ Yes, it was small and it was necessary, but as a parent that had only hit her child once? She feared his rejection. "Elsa," she started, licking her lip, "I haven't… done wrong, have I?"

" _Oh, darling, of course not. Anna… You've done so much. You don't have to take on this burden all by yourself. Anna, I miss you."_

Ah. She wanted to hear those words coming out of her lips. She could see it - all the worry, the love… the sense of wanting to make things right. What more could Anna ask for? What more did Anna need to energize herself once more?

" _Will you let me see you, Anna?"_

 _After hearing everything, how can I deny her?_ "Yeah… yeah, of course."

She could picture the smile that Elsa had as well. " _Good. Thank you. Tomorrow night, perhaps?"_

"Tomorrow night," she agreed. Oddly, hearing that made her feel nervous. Excited. _What am I, still in high school?_ But this was a good thing - their relationship was finally mending back together, as fragile as it was.

* * *

She came out of her room an hour later after taking her time to shower, to clean up, to make sure her bed was tidied. She wasn't sure how she was feeling. There was… a mix of emotions - comfort, happiness, nervousness - and when she left the room, when she noticed Meg in the kitchen from the hallway, the overwhelming comfort that she felt made itself at home in Anna, and that was all she was feeling.

There wasn't much that she wanted to say to Meg. She was thankful. She felt comforted. She felt loved. And seeing her lover in the kitchen… cooking her food, cleaning the dishes… never made her feel so at home.

How could she ever miss this? How could she ever say she deserved this? She knew she didn't. Oh, but how she craved that kind of love again, and she _had_ it. It wasn't something she could let go.

She was happy with this life. She wanted this life. And with her arms crossed, observing her beautiful lover cook… she couldn't think of anything else in return for all the love that Meg had given her. It was a pity, really.

She swallowed, silently coming up to the brunette, her side leaning against the counter. "Hey."

Meg immediately turned. Silence. The smile that Anna was expecting… well, quite a big smile, wasn't there. It was small. Almost… looking _pitiful_. "Hey," Meg responded.

"I cleaned everything. Still cooking? It smells nice." She chuckled, tending back to cooking.

"It won't take long," Anna slowly stepped towards her back, arms wrapping around Meg's waist, "I'm glad you're feeling better. How did the talk go?"

Anna leaned in, kissing her neck. _Mm… it's been a while._ "It was… alright. Elsa wants to see me."

"I see."

"Are you… opposed to it?"

"No, not at all," she laughed, turning the stove off before turning back to Anna. Her eyes were so soft, so accepting. It made Anna feel like… nothing was ever wrong. And with Meg's tender hand running along her cheek, her thumb on Anna's lips… it confirmed that feeling even more. With silent joy constricted in Anna's heart, she grabbed her lover's wrist with gentle touches, rubbing her fingers on her skin. "I think… after everything, I see you've truly moved on. I'm proud of you. And I know Elsa's proud of you too."

She nodded. "She told me that."

Meg gazed down, eyes wandering off. A glimmer of a gentle light in Meg's eyes hypnotized Anna. "You know… when she brought Olaf to school the other day, she asked about you."

"She did?" Anna wasn't sure why she was surprised. For a moment, Anna wondered if she had said something wrong for Meg to go quiet. She gazed with interest and worry, finding her lover's expression almost too difficult to read, but she knew Meg had to be contemplating her words. But it was okay. She was safe in Meg's arms, and she knew she would listen to whatever Meg had to say, and she would respond without… consequence. "Meg?"

The woman took a deep breath, running her own fingers through her hair. "There were many times that... she asked about you, you know? I would always answer her honestly, no questions asked. Because she was your wife. Because she has been in your life this whole time. I always wonder… if she still truly loves you. Or if she's only doing this for the sake of the family." Meg squinted her eyes, brows crossing… almost out of disgust. Cringing. Anna had never seen this before. And when Meg had let go… Anna stayed frozen - almost like… she didn't dare to touch her lover. Her perfect lover… because, perhaps, she had done Meg wrong. "When she asked me if it was okay that you had done this - beat Hans, took care of her, took care of Olaf… for a moment, I wasn't sure how I should answer her. I wasn't there to see it," she chuckled, placing her hand on the counter. "I wasn't _there_ to know how you two felt. But she asked for my opinion anyway, and in the back of my head, I thought… yeah, it's ridiculous that Anna would do all of this for the sake of the family. That it was just for romantic love. I didn't say it."  
"Meg -"

"Because I _know_ the sensible thing to say was _, of course_ , she would do this just to protect you two, no matter how hurt you were. How much burden you had to put on your shoulders. _I_ told her that."

Anna didn't understand. But she didn't doubt the fact that… in Meg's eyes… there was fear. "What are you saying, Meg…?"

"I'm saying _I'm proud of you._ " She gazed directly into Anna's eyes. And there was that smile Anna was waiting for. That comforting smile. But Anna just… didn't feel comforted at all. And when she felt arms hugging her, she felt more restless than ever. But she let it happen. She… wanted Meg's love. She couldn't let her go to waste. "I… had doubts. But I trust you, and you have never let me down."

"Let you down…?" Anna clenched on the hem of her shirt by her fingers.

"You're loyal, Anna. I like that about you. I just wish… Elsa could see that. I know you. I know you love Elsa. And I know you love me. And I know… it can be so hard to choose, and for me, that's okay. But promise me one thing."

"What?" Anna whispered.

"Promise me that you know that I love you, and remember that. And that I will always be by your side."

Anna didn't know how to respond. Wasn't that what they had promised from the very start that they had been together? And when she felt arms hugging her tightly, when she heard the word, 'please' whispered to her, she nodded. She knew. Sometimes… Meg had to get some comfort as well. Smiling with love, Anna placed her hand on Meg's back and nodded. "I promise."

"And promise me… you will talk to me when you feel down. Promise me that you will see me… and that it will always be _me_."

Anna nodded. "I promise that too." And there were a lot of promises. Promises that she knew she had to keep. Promises that she knew that would make Meg happy. That was all she wanted. And doubt? Anna knew Meg would always feel doubt no matter how many times they would say they'd trust each other.

Sighing, her lover pulled away with an accepting smile, letting her knuckles run along Anna's cheek. "That's my girl. Anyway, you should relax and watch TV. Lunch will be ready in a few minutes."

Anna immediately grabbed Meg's hand. Now was the time to be honest. But surely… _how am I supposed to say this?_ Of course, she looked quite unsure, as well, rubbing her fingers on the back of her neck, gazing down at her feet.

"What is it?" Meg questioned.

She chewed on her lip in contemplation. "Don't… be mad. Elsa and I… are going to have dinner tomorrow night. Is that okay?"

One blink. Two blinks. A playful scoff carried out, and Anna felt a sharp flick of Meg's finger on her forehead. "Anna, after all this time, you're going to ask me that?"

"W-Well, I wasn't sure if you wanted me to go when you said all that stuff!" Her cheeks flared with heat.

"Oh, of course, you may have dinner with Elsa. Don't be ridiculous. I may be your girlfriend, but I also know where your priorities lie, Anna." She smiled, hands holding onto Anna's waist. Anna didn't doubt her words, but she did feel uneasy about it. It was just… too perfect! Too easy! But that was what Anna wanted right? For Meg to… accept Elsa's relationship with her… to accept the fact that Anna was going to always be a part of Elsa's life.

She sighed, biting her lip. _Maybe it is time to wake up from this fantasy land._

" _Anna."_

"Yeah?" Their eyes met.

"I just wish you to be happy, Anna. Always."

* * *

The bar was filled with people, but Anna was glad she was able to reserve herself a seat and one for her wife. The music wasn't too loud, but over to the dance floor, she could see that people were really having the time of their lives that evening. The place wasn't awfully dark with the bar being beautifully dimmed by candle lights and a few lamps dangling from above. It wasn't… quite a romantic place to be in, but romance wasn't what she was striving for right now. Not when she was wearing her work clothes.

Anna had just gotten a glass of rum by herself as she waited for her wife to come. It wasn't taking _too_ long. Perhaps, she had been waiting for half an hour, but it was something she was used to. Especially when Olaf had to be taken care of.

She sighed the moment she noticed her phone vibrating on the table. The screen brightly announced Meg's name and a few words from her text, which she quickly swiped to open:

" _Have fun tonight. I'll be eating steak and mash potatoes without you. I bet it's better than what you're having."_

Anna chuckled to herself. "I bet," she typed back. She took a small sip of her drink, the glass clinking gently with cubes of ice inside. She hadn't gotten a text from Elsa yet, saying when she would arrive. If anything, she was growing a little bit impatient, until she felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Sorry I kept you waiting. Is this seat occupied?"

 _What the…_ Anna's eyes widened, turning. She thought she was dreaming.

Her heart nearly stopped pounding, and all her body could ever do was freeze at the sight. She probably didn't even swallow her rum and let it drip out of her mouth like a complete idiot. But _God damn._

She had tuned everything out when she noticed the way Elsa was dressed. Breathless, eyeing her wife up and down… her eyes captured the most wondrous essence of her black dress fitting perfectly around her figure - _oh, her beautiful full curved -_ a black see-through stocking peeking out of the slit that ended up on Elsa's right thigh. Ah, and let's not forget those killer heels.

Anna quickly stood up, her head nearly tilted up fully just so she could meet with Elsa's gaze. Though, the warming light was dimmed enough that Elsa wouldn't be able to see the pinkness spreading on her cheeks. "O-Oh my God, I feel so overdressed…"

The blonde chuckled, fingers pushing back her luscious blonde fringes. _Did she do her hair as well? Jesus Christ…_ She took the liberty to sit on the empty stool beside Anna, placing her hand purse on the bar. "It's a once in a lifetime thing. This would be the perfect opportunity. So? What do you think?"

 _What do I think? Is she really going to ask me that?_ "Y-You look…" Anna scoffed, looking around. _Is anyone seeing this?_ "... wow."

The blonde smirked, her blue eyes gleaming with confidence. "That's what I want to hear."

Really, Anna wasn't sure what she should even say. Her eyes… she couldn't keep her eyes away from Elsa. She was just so beautiful… so _sexy_ \- and she knew she shouldn't be thinking about things like this, even on a whim - but God… when was the last time Elsa had dressed like this? For her? Even for Elsa, herself?  
She swallowed, eyeing the woman's thigh, tightly wrapped with thigh-high black stockings, and she began to shake her head. Anna was just about to take her glass of rum when the blonde had quickly swiped it away for herself to drink. She gaped at the blonde in surprise, watching her down… well, the whole glass. "W-Whoa… that's… mine -"

Elsa wagged her finger at Anna, expression twisting. The burn must have been unpleasant. "No."

"What -"

" _You_ need to stop drinking." She huffed. "I've been worried, Anna."

 _Ah, we're back at this again._ Anna slowly looked away in frustration. Not because Elsa was repeating all the things she was saying during that phone call yesterday, but… she was angry at herself for letting herself get this _bad._

She hadn't even noticed Elsa had ordered a glass of whiskey for herself, and… well, lime water for Anna. She was silent though, knowing that Elsa was staring at her… looking for an answer. But what kind of answer did she want to hear? "Y-Yeah, I…I'll stop. It's not like I'm an alcoholic."  
She scoffed, looking towards the shelves of alcohol bottles, taking a sip of her own. "That's what they all say. At this point, I just hope you wouldn't be."

Anna nodded. _She's right though._ There were so many things that Anna wanted to ask. To say. She wasn't sure where to begin. But, perhaps, right now, she should be apologetic. Sighing, she turned her body, meeting face to face with Elsa. And while Elsa had this oblivious expression - and almost too blank of an expression - Anna felt series of emotions fighting each other on the inside.

With the tip of her fingers, she touched Elsa's knees to get her attention. "Your wounds…" she whispered. "Are they healing?"

Ah, there was that soft smile. It was so reassuring. The woman gazed down at her cup, fingers wrapping around it. "Little by little, yes. Yours is healing wonderfully. I still have to apply heavy makeup," she chuckled. But it wasn't… well, it didn't _feel_ playful. Anna definitely was not laughing at that. And when Elsa noticed that she wasn't laughing, her expression softened, eyes avoiding Anna once again. _Is this what it's going to be like from now on?_

"Does it still hurt?

"Anna, I'm okay -"

"Has he come back?"

" _Of course not_." Elsa took the redhead's hand in her own. Squeezing. All Anna could feel was her warmth… and, dear God, she really did wish they were going to be okay from now on. She really did wish… that her wife could defend herself from now on, especially when Anna couldn't come back anymore. Not when… her home was with Meg. "Anna, you don't have to worry about stuff like this anymore -" _How am I supposed to trust her words?_

" _Worry?"_ She squinted, placing her head against her palm, shaking her head. "Elsa, he raped you -"

"That's enough."

"You don't want to hear it?"

She shut her eyes, clenching her teeth. "That whole situation… has been painful for you. It has taken a toll on Olaf. On me. What is done is done, but I'm okay. I'm alive, thanks to you. Just _start over_ , Anna. Please."

"Elsa -"

"I don't want to hear you talk about _that_ and let yourself break even more."

That was so easy to say. She knew Elsa would say something like this. Perhaps… she had always known that Elsa would just tackle problems by avoiding them, not drive through them. What happened, yes, it wasn't easy to talk about… but how could she have known how Elsa felt?

Her throat felt constricted with so many negative emotions, she could barely let out a word. She took a deep breath, squeezing Elsa's hand. At least… the best thing to do was to promise Elsa that they would be happy. That they should have a smile on their face. And when she felt the warmth of Elsa's hand on her own… when she felt Elsa's knuckles caressing her warm cheek, she took a quick glance at her with an awfully nostalgic smile on her face. Teal eyes gleamed with tears - but they were happy tears. And they were _safe._

"You're safe," Anna reassured. "I've been agonizing about that this whole week. I'm very glad I get to see you in one piece."

"And I'm glad you called me back," her wife replied.

"And Olaf? How is our baby?" _Even now, I'm still worried for the kid…_

She took another sip of her whiskey, pursing her lips. "He's in Tiana's place for tonight. But he's been well. He misses you a lot. Meg always told me about how he was nagging for you to come pick him up."

"Ah."

Elsa raised her eyebrows. "Are you ready to do that?"

Anna didn't answer. She scratched the back of her neck in contemplation, gazing down at their hands still being held together. In the background, the music continued to blast. But she noticed Elsa's eyes… all she noticed was her eyes, gazing back at her with expectations. Thinking was impossible when she could feel fingers rubbing on her skin.

There wasn't a single sign of… seduction in Elsa's expression, but Anna was still allured. She licked her lip. _When is the last time I have felt so… at peace with her?_ Perhaps… Anna was lying to herself. This feeling wasn't peace. Everything from the music to the people screaming at the top of their lungs were all silenced by just the sight of Elsa's entrancing blue eyes. _What is wrong with me?_

Her gaping trailed down to her lips. _Is it the alcohol?_ "I…"

Elsa's throat bobbed as she swallowed. _God damn it…_ "You don't have to answer me now. But Olaf misses you. Okay?"

Without knowing, Anna nodded. "Of course." What was she thinking? She shouldn't be ogling. She shouldn't be thinking about her softness… how beautiful Elsa looked. And, perhaps, Elsa didn't realize it, and that… would be a relief for Anna.

She shook her head, turning around to face the counter. Everything… felt so foreign. Almost _wrong._ Her eyes fell to the light gleaming off the reflection of her glass of water. Sighing, she tapped her finger to the beat of the music… and she knew she was drowning herself in thoughts. Thoughts… that she never thought she would think when she was with her. In the end, all Anna wished for was for _her_ to be happy and safe.

"Is everything okay with you and Meg?" Elsa started asking. It really was a question she didn't expect Elsa to ask.

The redhead didn't turn. Didn't answer. She sipped on her water in response instead. Her expression was stoic, letting her lips kiss the rim of the glass. She paused, placing the glass down, and for a moment, she knew she didn't like that question at all.

Yes, she cared… yes, she felt obliged to ask because Anna was her wife, but Anna simply was not interested in answering. There was nothing wrong with the question at all. Not at all. She wished… the music was loud enough to cut away the darkness of her thoughts. Fingers trailed around the rim of her glass, her head tilting in curiosity. "Elsa, are you… really not pregnant?"

"Anna?"

"I…" Her eyebrows furrowed. "If you are pregnant…" She scoffed to herself, "I'll take responsibility for the child too." She wasn't sure what to think. She couldn't bear the thought that her lovely wife was bearing a child… that came from a rapist, an abuser… a _complete monster._ Truth be told, she hated the fact that if… Elsa was pregnant, Anna had no say in whether her wife should keep it or not. The thought disgusted her. And Olaf? How would Olaf take this? Anna could just imagine the way Olaf would reject his smaller sibling.

 _Sibling… why does that sound so bad?_

Elsa didn't react though. The blonde had looked away completely. At first, Anna really thought her wife was… with a child, but she knew not to jump to conclusions yet. The topic was heavy, after all. "Anna… if I were what you think I was, I would abort -"

Anna winced, squinted, shaking her head in rejection. " _Oh God_ , don't -"

"You _know_ I wouldn't let a child come to this world, knowing that the father is…" Elsa clenched her jaw together, eyes glistening with tears. "That he… never existed."

Anna didn't retort at all. " _Are you pregnant?"_

The blonde wrapped herself in her own arms. "No, of course not."

It didn't bring Anna relief at all. She wanted to ask, "how many times did he touch you like this", "how many times did he urge for a child", but she just… couldn't. She didn't want to hear it, as much, as she wanted to know the truth about everything. Surely, Elsa didn't want to talk about this either. Fine. If… the rest of their entire life was to avoid asking crucial questions and answering them, then that was what they were going to do.

She let out a breath, calming herself. There was no point in getting worked up. They were here to have a nice time. They were here to talk… to laugh and have fun. "I'm sorry. I know I get worked up. It's just..."

"Yes, you care. I know."

Anna couldn't agree more. For a second, she gazed at Elsa, and she could feel her warm hand on her own again. "Olaf… what about Olaf? Did you know?"

She raised her eyebrow. "Did I know?"

Ah. Did Olaf not talk about his punishment? Somehow, knowing that, Anna felt anxious about telling her everything. Olaf's parents… were never ones to use corporal punishment, but they were never against it. Olaf had always been a good boy, so it was Anna that felt guilty for even trying to hit the boy to get him to learn.

She cleared her throat. "That night… I found him in school. With Meg. She called me." She paused, hoping that Elsa was listening. With blue eyes already drilling into her soul, she knew she could continue talking, eyes gleaming at the light hitting the wooden counter. "You know I was so _furious_. I didn't think he would run. I didn't think either of us would have even considered the matter."

"Anna -"  
The woman began groaning, throwing her head back. "Elsa, don't get mad at me for this."

"For what?"

"I… I spanked him. A lot."

The air almost felt so still and stiff at the same time. Anna had never felt so horrible spewing something out of her mouth like that.

The moment Elsa had raised an eyebrow at her, leaning in, as if to make sure she had heard that correctly, the pit deep inside Anna's stomach continued to drop. "You… _spanked_ him?"

"I didn't mean it!" Anna responded. "I-I… I mean, I did… I was angry. Angry that he just went up and out like that. And, plus, with you… God," she turned away, "with you looking like that… I was so stressed out I couldn't tell you. But I realized I only did it because I needed him to learn that he's not supposed to run away like that." She paused. She knew she was saying things that didn't even make sense. "Are you… mad?"

Elsa pinched her fingers on the bridge of her nose, head faced down, her eyes closed. She could sense her frustration seeping out. But it was natural - Elsa had never done such a thing to him. Perhaps, just hearing it coming out of Anna's mouth… made this way worse. "He didn't tell me…"

Anna placed her hand on the woman's shoulder, tilting her head in concern. She must have heard those words wrong. "He… didn't tell you?"

"Anna, in your heart, you know our son keeps a lot of feelings… and secrets inside of him," she huffed, placing her arm on the counter. "I don't doubt that you only did that because you wanted to teach him a valuable lesson. I'm okay with that. But, Anna… darling, he lives in a household where his parents are divorced, his mother gets abused, his other mother is in a relationship with his teacher. Anna, I don't even want to imagine how he's feeling."

"Elsa…"

Her fingers began to caress Anna's cheek… just a moment, just a sweet soft moment, and that touch was gone. "Anna, I don't want to see a seven-year-old become depressed."

Anna understood that. She nodded, her hand falling from her wife's shoulder to her arm. Grasping. Squeezing. They both needed reassurance. "I promise, I'll spend more time with you two. I'll spend more time with him. Hey, look at me -" The blonde turned to her. Ah, her expression really softened this time. "- He's my son too. I'm sorry that I spanked him -"

"No… Anna, that is fine. A little spanking can go a long way," her lips pursed into a tight smile, "maybe go a little lighter on him next time? I hope there's no next time."

Ah, a little bit of lightheartedness. That felt good. She scratched the back of her neck with uncertainty, her smile clumsy. "Heh… yeah, I hope so. B-But I promise, I'll spend more time with you two. With Olaf. You deserve it."

Elsa nodded in approval and appreciation. "That's very good to hear. I'm glad we talked about this."

"Yeah."

"You never answered me. What happened yesterday?"

"Oh," Anna fidgeted, and her uneasiness continued to seep through her laughter, "Meg really… scolded me. She's fine. Just worried. For me, I mean."

"And she let you out?"

"Yeah, I mean…" She shrugged. "It's just the two of us. She knows the kind of relationship we have with each other."

Elsa paused for a moment, and as Anna gazed at her… there was a small gleam of concern? Worry? Perhaps… desperation? Oh, Anna was done being desperate though.

"She trusts you that much, doesn't she?" she asked, her voice soft, her words spoken slowly. But Anna could hear it clearly.

To be quite honest, she wasn't sure. Trust? Oh, they trusted each other. But for a long time, Anna wondered how long that trust was going to stay strong until it started to waver. How long was that trust going to start looking like desperation - that they were just hanging on to a relationship that felt so bleak? She didn't… want to think about it. Didn't want to test it. Didn't want to lose the only thing that put a smile on her face.

"Yeah, she trusts me. Sometimes, I don't think I deserve her."

"Why?"

The woman shrugged, entwining her fingers together. "It's just… I haven't really done anything for her. She always takes care of me even though I never asked - I mean, you probably don't even want to hear this."

"Anna, she is good for you."

She couldn't deny that. "Yeah, she is -"

" _Hey, ladies_." The two were completely interrupted, turning to see a man with a beer in one hand, another running through his - seemingly, luscious hair. His lips pursed into a snarky grin as well. Anna wasn't sure how she was supposed to react. He must have been drunk, or crazy, or… oh, whatever, he was going to leave anyway.

And deciding to disregard him, she grabbed her water and took a sip. She looked away, admiring the bottles placed on the shelves. _This guy better not cause any trouble_.

"Hello, _blondie_ , you look _beautiful_ tonight," he purred. "Would you like to join me and my boys?"

Anna immediately spit her water out, choking. Her eyebrow quickly quirked up in shock as she turned, eyeing the two like a statue. She especially gazed at Elsa. Who was laughing? _What?_

Oh, what did Anna expect, really? Elsa was bisexual and very much single. After getting rejected by Anna, _of course_ , she would want to have a little bit of fun with someone else. And so quickly too. Not that it mattered.

Out of annoyance, once those blue eyes - almost amused - met with hers, Anna looked away. _Oh, I wish I can have a fucking drink_.

"Oh, no, I… I'm spending the time with a friend right now," Elsa responded. Though it was too soft for Anna's liking. And the way she _smiled_ at him. Gods. Anna almost wanted to puke.

The man turned to Anna, raising an eyebrow. "Hm, I guess she's not so bad -" _What the fuck?_ "- Maybe you can bring your friend along? We're gonna go to a concert in a bit." _I'm going to punch his stupid grin off his face._

"No, thank you."

"Aw, come on, hottie. You don't want to have a little fun?"

"Actually -"

"Or would you rather have fun with me _alone?_ That can be arranged. God, you're so beautiful…"

Elsa immediately sighed, eyelids shutting. And while Anna hadn't said a single thing, that one reaction completely caught Anna by surprise. " _No_."

"No?"

"I don't want to have _fun_ with you or your friends. Back off. I tried to be nice about it, but you just kept insisting. Go bother someone else, you're not worth my time."

 _That's a surprise._

At this moment, Anna knew how much of a line Elsa had crossed. Oh, that fragile thin line.

His face flared red with embarrassment, hearing his friends laugh in the background. His body and height towered over Elsa, his arm raised in the air. "You -"

Seeing that from the corners of her eyes, Anna quickly stood, grabbed her wife by her arm, another wrapped around her waist, pulling Elsa's back to stand against her front with such force. Anna wasn't even thinking. Didn't even hear the small yelp coming from Elsa's mouth, nor did she noticed how wide her eyes grew.

From behind Elsa's shoulders, the redhead's teal eyes glowed with possessiveness. Anger. Jealousy. Enough was _enough_. She couldn't allow someone else to take advantage of Elsa anymore.

"Didn't you hear her? Back. Off," she growled lowly, arms wrapped tightly around Elsa's slender wrist.

"Anna…"

"Pft, who the hell are you? I don't want _you_. I just want -"

"You arrogant bastard, if you even fucking lay a single hand on my girl, I won't hesitate to beat the hell out of you. Go have _fun_ with someone else."

"What -"

"I'm warning you. _Back. Off_."

The man scoffed, crossing his bulky arms. "Whatever, lesbians. You're already too much of a hassle to handle anyway." He began shuffling back to where he came from, but that didn't stop Anna from burning his back with her threatening eyes. She had never felt so… enraged by the fact that someone was trying to speak and have _fun_ with her wife. And until he was gone from her sight, she continued hold Elsa close to her -

"Anna… you can let go now."

She blinked. She realized… what kind of position they were in immediately, but her eyes just couldn't help but gaze down at that beautiful figure so close up against her body. Quickly letting go like it burned, she looked away. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "A-Are you alright?"

The blonde smiled, her fingers running through her hair. "Of course. You saved the night again."

"O-Oh, that?" she scoffed. "That was nothing."

" _Your girl, hm?"_ Elsa crossed her arms, cocking her head to one side in amusement.

Anna wanted to smack her head. She knew Elsa was teasing just looking at how she wiggled her brows. Playful Elsa could sometimes be… too much. She groaned. "Sorry, it was just… on a whim."

"Mm," she nodded, amusingly, "well, thank you for being 'on a whim'. He probably wouldn't have let it go."

"Yeah. I mean… you get a lot of that, I bet."

"Well, you would know. You were one of them." Elsa winked. _Oh God, did she really have to remind me of our first meeting?_ "Anyway, should we get going? I don't think you'd want his buddies to come by."

"O-Oh yeah. Let me just…" Anna quickly pulled out her credit card to pay. Before long they were out the door… and knowing that Elsa couldn't drive from all the drinking, they decided to take a cab.

Getting home, as the night grew darker and bleaker… the only light source was from the automatic lighting from the front entrance of the house. It was weird. These days, she was never really home just with Elsa. They were always accompanied by Olaf.

Standing by the entrance awkwardly, Anna gaped at her wife's back as Elsa began to unlock her door. "Do you want to come in and sit?"

Anna held out a hand as a refusal. "No, thank you. I should get back soon. Meg must be asleep already."

"I see." A step of her heels clinked down from the step to Anna. She sighed, gazing down at her feet. "Thank you for tonight. I'm very glad we talked."

"Yeah," Anna pursed her lips to a smile, her hands slipping into her pockets. "Do you… want me to take Olaf home tomorrow?"

Elsa simply chortled lightly. "Of course. He's yours to take."

"Okay, that's… that's good." She paused. "You'll… be okay, won't you?" Even now, Anna still had the heart to worry for her.

With a reassuring smile and a small nod, Elsa whispered, "thank you."

Anna didn't get to react. Perhaps, she didn't want to when she felt a hand cup her cheek, and she could feel foreign - but warm… a very welcoming warm - lips painting her other cheek with a small gentle kiss. But she could feel it all - her whole body heating… and it wasn't like Elsa had arms wrapped around her, or her body was right against her own. But the feeling of the blonde's perfect button nose brushing on Anna's skin, how Elsa tapped her finger on her heated cheek… how slow the woman was breathing against her hair... sent her to a new _high._ Everything had stilled. Everything… except _them._

She _welcomed_ it, she got lost in it… and when Elsa simply pulled away slowly, Anna merely eyed her wife blankly.

"Good night, Anna," the blonde smiled, her voice light as a feather. It was a rather tender smile, but all was lost when Elsa had pulled her hand away. Her fingers tingled. Her skin prickled with goosebumps, and while Elsa had only taken a small step back… she seemed so far away.

She was silent, raising her hand, fingers carefully tracing the small contact of Elsa's lips tattooed on her freckles. She could trace it all day, but she couldn't leave Elsa hanging. Smiling - rather, it was quite a fake smile - she waved. "Good night."

Oh, she really wished Elsa would have a good night. She stood in front of the entrance like an idiot - a fool still stuck in place with one person, so desperately blinded by just one person - and the door had finally shut.

Alone, she watched the lights in the house turn on. _I guess… I should get going_. She sighed, rubbing the fingers on the back of her neck. She shouldn't have to feel so bothered. So… needy. It was just a kiss on the cheek. They had kissed plenty of times - many just on a whim, and they never did care. _And I shouldn't care now._

* * *

The door to Anna's home shut softly without any disturbance. She didn't expect the lights to be on, but the kitchen gleamed warmly, bleeding into the living room. The curtains were opened, and she could see the building across from her through the balcony. The night was not young anymore.

She eyed the kitchen, coming closer to the counter. A small note caught her eyes: " _food is in the fridge if you're hungry. I'll be sleeping… come wake me when you're home, love._

Anna wasn't so hungry. She remained quiet, reading the note over and over again. It was just a simple note. It was the fact… that she realized there was a conflicting feeling nagging her. Now, that… wasn't so simple. She couldn't forget about it - the way Elsa talked to her tonight… the way Elsa kissed her on the cheek. In the back of her mind, she knew… this was all on purpose. After all, how could anyone ever forget that she had been the one to reject her wife? How could she ever forget that Elsa… promised that she had changed? She had seen it - _all_ of it.

Elsa _had_ changed. When Anna expected her to go along with that man, she rejected him. When she expected Elsa to be mad about her for speaking about Meg, she was the one to ask how Anna's lover was. Oh, how hard was she trying to prove Anna wrong? _That she had a heart?_

She swallowed, crumbling the paper in a ball in her hand. With soft footsteps, she walked to the guest room where the door was closed. Meg had to be sleeping there. And her guess was correct once she had opened the door and noticed a bundle of brown hair and arms sticking out of the blanket in the dark.

Anna couldn't help smiling. _She must be that exhausted huh?_ She yawned, shutting the door closed. _I guess I should get ready for bed soon…_

For half an hour, Anna took her time to take a shower before getting to bed. Still, there were so much to do, even at home. The least she could do was check her emails for any important updates from work.

With just a t-shirt and panties on, she strode towards her laptop in her room to check, taking it to bed with her. There weren't many emails this past couple of days, but Weselton had always had a strict policy of making sure his employees check on their emails frequently.

Scratching her head, almost bored out of her mind, Anna logged out of her email account when she saw nothing but yesterday's emails. _He really just likes making a big deal about everything huh?_ Anna scoffed to herself -

 _Beep._

Her mouse cursor had just hovered over the 'shut down' button until a single message popped up on the top right corner of her screen. She eyed the person in question. _Elsa?_

Anna wasn't going to waste any time. She clicked on the message:

" _I hope you're sleeping soon. I can't sleep. I've been thinking about you. I know everything's complicated right now. I feel like a teenage girl… thinking about how you held me back there, away from that man. It was just… perfect. You don't know how hard my heart pounded. I don't want to say anything too uncomfortable for the both of us. For you especially. But I wanted to say thank you again. I just want to let you know… I love you, honey. Good night."_

 _I love you… I love you? Does she really?_

Her heart swelled, pounding like she had just been born to this world. _Always…_ Elsa was always doing something new. Always catching Anna off guard even when they were here to speak to one another. She was tempted to call Elsa. She was tempted to respond. Her eyes began to glisten with tears, but they were tears of joy. Perhaps, even delusion.

Every word sounded better than the next the more she continued to repeatedly read it. Every word… sounded exactly like how Elsa would say it. Every word… sounded like _Meg._

She swallowed, staring at the screen blankly. She hadn't moved from her spot, almost like those words kept tugging her back in. Her heart… was pounding, ever so slowly, and her eyes… were not able to look away as if those words were actually Elsa speaking in person. She could hear that voice - so soft… whispering… and Anna always loved it when Elsa whispered to her. The redhead felt her head spin. She had completely lost her god damn mind, but she _embraced_ it.

She had never felt like this before, and whatever this was… Anna wanted _more._

Every tiny thought was occupied by Elsa… by her words, by the way she smiled… and how _caring_ Elsa was to her today. The desperation that she thought Elsa had, had gone completely unknown, and all Anna could know was the _love_ in her eyes.

Her throat felt dry, and it hurt to swallow. It hurt… to simply not imagine her wife speaking to her like this. And it wasn't just love that she was picturing. It was _heaven._

Tonight… was awfully splendid. Her cheek still burned pleasant from that one kiss. Her skin pricked with delight when she remembered how Elsa touched her… how those fingers caressed her with reassurance. Her mind was hypnotized by her attentive ocean blue eyes that contrasted so beautifully with the dim light in the bar. And they were the only thing that _shined_ so beautifully. How her figure would sway and curve so wonderfully, fitting perfectly in such a sexy black dress. How her thigh would ever so often… peek out for Anna to see. How she could make Anna fall into _pieces_ just like that.

She leaned back against the headboard, her mind clouded with thoughts… thoughts of desire… thoughts of Elsa. In the back of her mind… she knew what she wanted to do to those stockings of hers. She knew what she wanted to do to that dress. She felt so overwhelmed until now.

And Anna… let herself drown in the sea of lusting thoughts. While she was quiet, she could hear the soft echoing sound of music from the window outside, how the cars zoomed by, how people were yelling and laughing. They must be having quite a party… and for Anna, this was her party. This was her fun - thinking about someone that had been wanting her… Thinking about the person that kissed her cheek, as if to hint _something._

Anna wanted that.

Her fingers were automatic, typing on the laptop keyboard. In a less than a second, the screen was filled with erotic images and videos. Her eyes were glazed… her mind and her emotions sending her an out-of-body experience. And she felt nothing but her soul ascending to the heavens… and, perhaps, she should have been in _hell_ for this. Her breathing was slow, her heart drumming against her chest. In front of her eyes, she was seeing nothing but bare flesh entangling with each other.

There was so much going on. Her breathing hitched… her fingers hovering over the keyboard. All rational thoughts had been thrown out the window, and through the heavy atmosphere… she typed in, "hot blondes".

 _Click._ The first video she noticed popped up… and everything seemed like a blur. The light of the screen surrounded her darkened room, and everything… was just slow. Her body had relaxed, and she had put her laptop aside. Her body… had grown hot. Heavy. And she could feel everything from the air that brushed against her skin… her own finger tips roaming on her stomach.

Her eyes… didn't move away from the screen, where a woman had sat on the couch, touching herself. Her ears didn't block out the sensual moans that filled the room. She longed for it. Became desperate for it. It sounded so fake, but it didn't matter. She was up in heaven. Her eyelids fluttered, and her lips let out a sigh.

Everything felt so light, her body floating, her mind… _drowning._ And her fingers tingled at the first touch of the soft cotton of her own panties. She bent her legs up, her head laid back against the pillow, and it was _music_ to her ears… the way that actress moaned. Why? She sounded nothing like Elsa.

But she pictured it. Eyeing the empty ceiling, she painted a canvas there with her imaginations. With Elsa. How Elsa would move for her. How Elsa would touch her. Plead for her. How those blue eyes would shine with desire for her… how Elsa would whisper, her voice rasped, if Anna liked what she was doing. And Anna… would give her all that she had.

Fingers slowly climbed down to her core - oh, how soaked she felt, how sensitive it was. She moaned, head tilting back, her free hand crawling in her own hair, her luscious lips spread open… and she _didn't_ hold back. She wanted someone to hear. She wanted Elsa to hear. She wanted Elsa to praise her…

To _love_ her…

To make her body sear with _desire._

She could feel her body flush at the first touch of her fingers on her clit. She lowered one leg straight on the bed, her head tilted to the side, and all she continued to do was pleasure herself. One sigh was let out. One single moan. Her slender back trembled at the first touch. That was all she wanted. Slow strokes… filled with the thoughts of her wife touching her. Thoughts of Elsa speaking sweet soft nothingness - and, perhaps, she would say incredibly dirty and sensual things to her. Oh, Anna would be pleased.

Only, as she continued to think about Elsa - pleasuring her body as if Elsa had been pleasuring her - her wonderful brunette lover filled her crazed mind, just as sensual… just as beautiful, bare from any clothes, eyes eliciting nothing but Anna's lust.

"Ah…" she moaned, her chest heaving. _I'm screwed..._ Her hips began to buck against her fingers. Oh, she was a greedy woman. She was… such a desperate woman. Both women had her down on her knees… and she was left in the dark, imagining her lovers caress her body with their own bareness. Their tender touch roaming across Anna's body.

She moaned louder, squirming at her own touch. _Please…_ "Oh God, please…" she begged, but for who? Her eyebrows furrowed, tears squeezing through the corners. _How could I choose…?_

Unbeknownst to her… distracted from her own thoughts, her own touch… her door had opened, and her lover watched from afar. One step at a time… closer to Anna, and when the redhead could feel a shadow looming over her, she opened her eyes.

She froze completely, eyes widening. "Meg -"

" _Welcome home, sweet heart_."

Everything happened so fast. The woman had gotten on top of her, her waist placed between her knees where she knelt on the bed. She was silent, listening to the faint moans in the background… and Gods, she couldn't miss the sight.

She watched as Meg's thin fingers gently unbuttoned her shirt. One by one… her collar was revealed, her sharp shoulders were revealed… her perfectly rounded breasts, her soft arching stomach. And Anna had lost her breath at the beauty, at the angel that was Meg. Her lover had always had a great body and curves that deserved to be held and _touched._

Oh, but Anna knew… she knew how greedy she was. She knew how much of a masochist she was to continue to feel this pain - this tug of war between two women wanting her, and she was the rope. She loved the attention… she loved the way Meg gazed at her. She loved the way Meg's fingers danced on her skin…

But at the same time, she wished her lover would not look at her. She wished her lover wouldn't shed a smile for her… dance for her. And when her lips fell open… feeling foreign, but welcomingly warm hands brushing down from her chest… Meg placed a finger against her lips to silence Anna.

And she stayed still. Meg had slowly leaned in against her, body against body… legs entangled with each other… and as the silence between them went on, she felt lips pressed against her own. Hands holding her cheeks. Hips rolling against her own.

 _What is happening to me…?_ Her eyes gazed at the lust in Meg's eyes… and her head was spinning in a sea of despair. Tears continued to fall… and those tears continued to be born for Meg. Her hands embraced her lover's waist, as she felt lips finally ravishing her neck, tongue tasting every last bit of her like the whole world was starving for Anna. And Anna accepted it… as she was starved for warmth.  
She embraced her, arms wrapped around Meg's back, nails digging into her skin. She wanted to mark. She wanted to hurt. She wanted to _love._

" _I love you,"_ her lover whispered, and in the corner of Anna's eyes, she could see the tears that were glistening in eyes… on her cheeks… and they definitely were not _hers._ And when she felt lips kissing her… worshiping her, Anna merely gave in with a soft moan. Anna… returned it with nothing but tears, a small desperate gasp, and one broken kiss.

"Meg…"  
"It's your night, honey… Let me take care of you. _Let me take care of you…"_


	30. Chapter 30: My Cherries and Wine

It was like heaven had taken the place of all the sin in the world... and Anna couldn't control it. She was called darling, honey… sweetheart that night, and those soft sweet words that were whispered in her ear were like drugs. That night, she had held her lover's fingers… she had kissed the woman's lips, her own body writhing and dancing along with their own slow breathing. No words needed to be said. No words… Anna would ever say to make herself feel better - so she drowned herself in someone else's delicate touch, her tender words. She drowned herself in the desperation that she realized her lover had as well. She drowned herself in the lust and want of someone beside her.

Bitter tears shed down their cheeks, but they shared their warmth. They shared kisses. They shared pleasure… to numb the pain. And, finally, when it all ended, they held each other in their arms, but it wasn't love that prompted them to do that, no. Again, it was desperation. And they were hanging on to each other… because her lover would not let her fall… because her lover would not let her do anything wrong… because her lover would not let her stoop so low as to _share_ herself with someone else.

The cold morning dawned in the sky. The birds chirped, her window crackled as the wind beat against it. The clouds shadowed the gleam of the sun… and all Anna felt was the emitting warmth of her lover's arms snaking around her body around her back. She felt soft lips tracing shoulder… fingers running through her own hair.

"Wake up soon, sweetheart," those words whispered. The bed shifted as Meg got up, the door creaked as she had left the room… and in the background, she could hear the shower going through the closed bedroom door.

Anna didn't have the will to open her eyes. When she did, Meg was already out of her sight.

She gazed blankly at the trees, her body feeling tired… but it ached wonderfully - as well as being filled with disgust - from last night.

What was she even doing? Thinking?

Her mind was clouded with thoughts like a monster. Was this what she was turning into? What kind of person… would yearn to feel someone on her own body while thinking about someone else? She was broken, but she never realized how disgusting she would become.

Anna sighed, shutting her eyes. Tears slowly seeped out. She had done wrong, and when she most wanted to move on, she was only fooling herself.

An hour had passed until Anna finally sat up to the smell of bacon. She didn't go back to sleep. She just didn't have to courage to face her lover was all. She remembered it all - how Meg's tears kissed her skin, how those trembling hands searched for the love on Anna's skin, and, nonetheless… Anna desperately accepted her.

She gazed at the door, then at her own abused chest, marked with love. Perhaps, they shouldn't even be called love marks anymore. Her knees curled up against her chest, her fingers running through her own hair. Boldly, her free hand reached for her phone… and surprisingly, there wasn't a single text from Elsa. _Or maybe she was waiting for me to reply to yesterday's message. How could I? How could I do this to her? To myself?_

She turned her phone off. If she needed to change… if she needed to explain things, she would. She had to. Moping around now was not the answer, and Anna had grown exhausted from being in this very room. Slowly, she got out of bed, and it didn't matter if she was bare… she needed to see Meg. The door slowly creaked open, her teal eyes - filled with her growing anxiety from thinking about both women - gazed at her lover in the kitchen.

What was she supposed to say? 'Hello? How was last night? I fucked up?'

 _How can I even face her?_ She looked away, gritting her teeth together.

"Anna?"

 _Oh no_. Meg was staring right at her with her perfect eyes and her perfect smile.

"Meg…"

The woman wiped her hand with the apron, shutting the stove off. "Good morning. I didn't think you'd wake up so soon."

Anna nodded. Timidly, her legs strode towards Meg. She wanted to embrace Meg. She wanted to kiss her good morning like they always would. She couldn't. She couldn't even look at her girlfriend. "I… I _have_ been awake."

"And you didn't tell me?" Meg tilted her head and stepped closer to her. Fingers slowly lifted Anna's chin, but Gods… the redhead badly wanted to look away. This was embarrassing. Shameful. She had just… hurt Meg. She knew it. She did. "Are you alright?"

Anna clenched her teeth together, fingers curled in a fist. _Why? Why can't I say it?_ "I'm okay."

"Anna… was it last night? I'm sorry I… barged in there. I thought -"

"No. No, it was…" she nodded, "it was fine. I liked it. I didn't want to wake you up so -"

"I thought so." She chuckled, lips kissing Anna's forehead. "It wasn't so bad yesterday, was it?"

"Meg -"

The woman quickly turned back to her cooking, smiling. But it was such an empty smile. Anna… could see through it. "I didn't think you would do that. I thought you'd wake me up until I heard those moans. And it didn't even come from you!"

"I -"

"Honestly, you didn't even have to do that. But I understand that sometimes… we just need to be by ourselves. That… I apologize for." She paused. "But it felt great, didn't it?"

 _How am I supposed to even say this?_ Especially when she was looking at Anna with all sorts of expectations. And as broken as she was, Anna nodded. If she couldn't talk about everything… she might as well try to act normal. Her lips pursed, forcing out a smile. "Yeah, it did."

That mask of a grin that Meg had put on widened. "Good! I have to be in school soon, so if you're going to eat later, I'll leave some breakfast for you."

"That'd be wonderful."

Everything became peaceful afterward. Anna had slowly cleaned herself up in the bathroom, and Meg was eating breakfast in the living room for the short moment she had left before she could go. It wasn't always like this. It wasn't normal that Anna would just wish her lover could just go to school.

There wasn't a thing that Anna hated. Merely, she hated herself for doing something so disgusting, and she knew… her lover was just bearing it for their much-loved relationship.

With a face splashed with water, the sink brimming, she looked up to her own reflection. Something as refreshing as washing her face… wasn't going to erase the shame on her expression. She sighed, grabbing a towel to wipe the water off her skin.

" _Anna?!_ "

The redhead opened the door. "Y-Yeah?"

"I'm going to school now. Do you need anything else?"

Anna smiled, listening to Meg's purse ruffling around. "No. Have a nice day, baby. I'll pick Olaf up from school later."

"Alright. Love you~"

The door clicked shut. "Love you… too." Finally, Anna was able to have a sense of peace. Finally… Anna was able to shut her door, slide herself against the wooden surface… and to wallow in her own misery. Her heart ached, but as much as she continued to think about the two women in her life, not a single sound of weeping made it to the air.

She dazed at the ceiling, completely helpless, completely undeserving of forgiveness. Perhaps, she shouldn't have been selfish in wanting to keep two women completely in her life. Perhaps, things would have worked out better, and her self-destructing mindset would have been long gone. Stubbornness… was Anna's greatest weakness.

She ran her fingers through her hair, and she realized she was always so dependent on the two of them to make her own sorry self feel better. How much validation did she need? How much care did she greedily want from those two?

No… it was time to change. She couldn't keep doing this anymore. She couldn't… hurt both of them at the same time. Her own pride wouldn't let her.

In a slow stride, she walked back to her bedroom just in time to hear her phone vibrate. Picking up the device, her wife's name popped up on the screen. "Good morning, Elsa."

" _Good morning. How are you holding up?"_

The woman sat on the side of the bed, looking down at her lap. "I… saw your message yesterday. I'm sorry I didn't answer." _And I'm sorry that I thought about you…_

The blonde chuckled. " _If I'd expected you to answer, I would have continued to pester you. I just wanted to say my thoughts before going to bed."_

"I see."

A moment of silence awkwardly passed. And, perhaps, it was awkward because well, they knew they were still feeling some type of way for each other. And it was one… Anna was finally beginning to admit she still was feeling. But it was also one she didn't have the courage to confess to Elsa. Not yet. They weren't ready for that yet. Perhaps, never. _But how long am I going to hurt Meg?_

"Tiana's taking Olaf to school today?" Anna started quietly.

" _Ah, yes, I think so. But be sure to pick him up this evening."_

"Yeah, I'll do that."

" _Anna… if I did something wrong, please… tell me. I vowed to change, and I'm keeping those words."_

"N-No, you didn't do anything wrong."

" _Then why do you sound like someone has run you over?" Do I sound like that?_

Anna cleared her throat, but it made it even more obvious to Elsa that it was exactly how she sounded like. "I don't know what you're talking about."

" _Yes, you do."_

She sighed, scratching the back of he neck. "I just…" _I need to tell the truth. Either of them. Just let it go._ She spluttered. Her mouth opened, a few incoherent words slipped out, but she just couldn't do it. All Anna had to do was relax, and yet… as long as her words continued to stay inside of her heart, how could she say anything? Her hands were even trembling at the thought of saying "I touched myself at thought of you". _Fuck._

"I have a lot to say," she mumbled. It was a start.

" _I know you do."_

"Elsa… I don't know what's wrong with me." She waited for the woman to respond, and when she didn't, Anna continued, "I…" _What the hell am I doing?_ "I think I'm going crazy…"

" _Anna."_

She took a deep breath, eyes wandering around as she had pressed her palm against her forehead. "How am I supposed to do this…? How am I supposed to choose…?" her voice croaked. "Elsa, _I don't know how to stop thinking about you…"_ And with a shaky inhale, and in a panic state, she wept once more.

" _Anna. Anna, listen to me… take a deep breath."_

Her heart was pounding again, her body tingling with numbness, and she had wrapped her shaking limps towards her chest. Every single breath she took, she was reminded of the two women, and every time she thought about them… the harder it was to breathe. It was painful. She began wheezing.

" _Anna, listen to my voice. You are wonderful. Don't think about anything else. Just listen to me. Count to ten with me, beautiful. Come now. One… two…"_

"Three… four…"

" _Good girl. Keep counting. I'm driving to your place right now, Anna."_

"N-No, please!"

" _Anna, I'm worried about you!"_

"Please… if you come see me…" She took a deep breath, her own fingers clenching on the front of her shirt. "If you come see me… you're just going to make me break down even more. L-Let me… Let me just take the day to think. I-I will come to pick Olaf up when it's time. Alright? Please," she urged. It was all she could do. Elsa could be stubborn sometimes as well, but… Anna was more so. She wasn't going to give Elsa the pleasure of knowing how fucked up her thoughts were last night. She stood up from bed, legs pacing around. " _Please_ , Elsa."

" _You have some explaining to do tonight."_

"Elsa -" And before she knew it, her wife had hung up immediately. She knew it. She knew… Elsa would be frustrated. She knew her own stupid self would just simply cause more stress in both of their relationships because Anna couldn't manage to even open up.

She drowned in her own silence, and almost feeling dizzy… she sat back down on the bed, her phone falling to her side. She swallowed, staring at her own lap. She dreaded everything about herself. She absolutely despised the fact that she couldn't even face her own feelings head on, and tell others that she was feeling a certain way. Everything felt absolutely sickening.

* * *

Evening had dawned. Six o' clock was here, and Anna had driven herself from work to school just to pick Olaf up. And as much as she missed seeing her boy, she couldn't take even a single step out of her car. She pondered at the school, its lights still on for those who stayed behind for after-school.

And now that Olaf was going to be in the third grade soon, she had hoped that Olaf would excel in all subjects better than anyone else so that he wouldn't need the extra help - only… both of his mothers would be working until the evening so picking him up on the dot at three would be impossible. After-school had to be a second option as much as they both used to hate the thought of leaving Olaf in there way past school dismissal. But throughout the years, they had learned that Olaf was enjoying it. _But will he enjoy it now that I've caused such a mess?_

She shook her head, her thoughts racing. _Enough. Let's just get him…_

Anna courageously huffed her breath and opened the door. The burst of adrenaline she had left her storming into the school, and before Anna realized it, she was in the classroom. It was always rare to see the students collectively doing their homework together in peace. _Perhaps, playtime hadn't occurred yet?_

"Mama!"

Anna felt her lips stretch to an adoring smile, feeling a small body jump against her for a hug. "Oh God, hi, buddy." She gazed down to see her boy's head right against her front and his sweet, sweet giggles bringing Anna much joy. She ruffled his hair, wondering if Elsa had cut it. _She must have… I mean, it's not bad looking, at least._

"Mama, I missed you…" Olaf replied, bringing his head to tilt up.

The woman mirrored his soft expression, and she could see all the love on her little boy's face. In the corner of her eyes, she noticed his teacher staring right at them as she helped one of Olaf's classmates on her homework. "I missed you too. Have you been well, buddy?"

"Yeah! Mom and I are very happy!"

 _Mom, huh?_ "I'm glad. Doing well in school?"

"Yeah, I got a lot of As and stickers."

"Good job." She rewarded a peck on Olaf's forehead. "I'm so proud of you, baby. I'm sorry I didn't pick you up this week."

"Heh, it's okay."

"I thought you wouldn't be able to come. I almost wanted to bring Olaf home to you." Meg slowly came up to them, handing Anna the sign-in sheet and a pen.

She quickly scribbled her name and time. "Sorry, there was a bit of traffic, that's all." She rubbed her son's back. "Are you hungry? Should I buy you some snacks before getting home, sweetheart?"

Olaf immediately shook his head. "Ms. Johnson gave me cinnamon oatmeal!"

Anna raised her eyebrows. _Huh… Is she even allowed to do that?_

"Hey, don't give him that look," her lover jutted her hip to one side, hand placed on it, "I figured he was hungry."

"Special privilege?"

Meg rolled her eyes, her hand reaching to run through Olaf's hair. "It's called taking care of my students. Shouldn't you go now? Elsa is waiting."

Anna almost visibly tensed up at the sound of Elsa's name coming out of her lover's mouth. She gazed down at her son, who excitedly held her hand, his legs bouncing up and down with energy. There was a silent moment that Anna considered… well, she might as well stay a little while, and hopefully, Elsa wouldn't mind. She wanted to pamper Meg with love. She wanted to apologize. And whether or not she thought she wanted this, her heart knew best to just go home to Elsa.

"Will you be home tonight?" she still asked, and she was cautious about the way she sounded. She wasn't excited for Meg to come home. Not after what happened.

"Yeah, I should be. I'll be a little late though. I'll text you."

Anna nodded, smiling tightly. "No problem. Look, I'm sorry about -"

"Ms. Johnson?" The ladies turned around to see a man by the door with his arm full of packets. He was dressed quite formally in a collared shirt and dark blue suit pants - though, he was wearing a tie printed with characters from Sesame Street. He was just… so bulky, as well. His eyes annoyingly gleamed with joy as he walked towards Anna's lover. "Sorry to disturb you. I printed out the packets you needed. Oh, and I saw you had a file for an exam next week, so I printed those out as well. Hope you don't mind?"

Meg beamed, taking the folder of papers in her arms. "Thanks, Mr. Demo. You didn't need to do all that."

"Oh," he chuckled, placing his hand around his hip, "It is my responsibility to get along with the teachers here. It's nothing, don't worry about it."

"It's very kind of you."

"Do you need anything else? My students are gone for the evening, and I don't mind staying a bit late -"

" _Ah-hem." What even is this?_ It was almost like the two had basically blocked her out. And… _that man…_ Anna didn't even take a single moment to glance at him until the two had turned their attention to her. "Meg, this is…"

"Oh, I'm sorry," she chuckled, coming to Anna's side, arm wrapped around her shoulder. "Anna, this is Mr. Demo. He just came in a few weeks ago as a new fifth-grade teacher."

With an awfully gleeful smile, he offered his hand to shake. "Call me Hercs," he announced, shrugging, "It's usually Hercules but… who likes such a ridiculous name?"

Anna wasn't amused, but she entertained him, nonetheless. With her eyes still on Meg, almost questioning and judging her, she shook his hand. "Anna. It's… a pleasure to meet you. Meg, I'm going to go."

"Of course," she gazed down at Olaf, "I'll see you tomorrow, buddy. Don't cause Mama any stress, alright?"

The boy giggled, "I promise."

"I'll see you, darling." The brunette leaned in, hand grasping Anna's arm, her lips pecking Anna's once. The woman admitted, something so simple and sweet as receiving just the smallest kiss felt like heaven on earth. She could forget all the denial she had and enjoy the short moment that time permitted them to have.

She smiled sweetly, watching as Meg whispered, "I love you" before pushing her out the door.

The car ride was almost suffocating. She could hear her boy sing in the backseat all evening, but her mind was distracted from all the fun she could have been having with her son. She bit her lip, and she could just feel her body grow tense out of stress.

"Mama?"

She clenched onto her steering wheel. She feared the ferocity that she knew Elsa would have once they'd see each other. She knew Elsa was trying her best to be the very person that Anna had fallen in love with, but it wasn't enough to open the redhead up. Wasn't it ironic? Elsa was always the first one to close herself up when times were rough.

"Mama!"

The woman blinked. She turned to the side where Olaf peeked out between the two front seats, looking worried. "Yeah, sweetheart?"

He pouted, brows furrowed tightly. "We're here, Mama… can we get out?"

Anna looked past his small shoulder to confirm that. The lights were on, and that meant… Elsa was in there. Her jaw clenched, her eyes softening, and again, it was shame she was showing now. _It's okay, it's just for a bit_. "Alright, go on, kid."

They both opened the door, and the moment she had turned the engine off, she heard the door creak open.

"Mom!"

The blonde had slowly walked out, her smile widening for the child. "Oh, baby," she knelt down, arms wrapped around Olaf's small frame, lips kissing his cheek with adoration, "how was school today, hm? Was it good?"

"Heh, good."

With hands tightly digging into her jean pockets, she watched the two from behind. As always, what could ever go wrong, seeing her son and her wife having such beautifully sweet interactions? Even at moments like this, Anna was willing to stay silent to let them have something so precious like this. The small smile that she would always wear was replaced with a worried look, though. Her heart felt heavy and breathing was hard, but she had to trudge on.

And only then, when Elsa had stood up, allowing the boy to go inside, their eyes met. Anna wasn't even sure where to start. An apology? Perhaps… do exactly what Elsa had asked of her to do - _to just talk._ She could sense the anger through the tense air. She could feel the way Elsa was judging her. Anna was silent. What if she said the wrong thing? What would happen then?

Elsa had slowly stepped aside. "Come in."

Those were her first words the moment they had seen each other. Never once had Elsa greeted her like this. But Anna continued to stay put. "I -"

" _Come. In._ We're going to have dinner soon. Don't make Olaf wait, Anna."

There was something so demanding in her soft - somehow, even caring - voice. Instantly, she had taken a step inside her home. Looking around… everything was the same. Olaf was in the kitchen, searching for snacks… and the television was on Cartoon Network. She swallowed. It was almost like she had just entered Elsa's house as a guest. She was. Only… she was just an ex-lover, which was way worse.

She cleared her throat, taking off her shoes. Elsa was in the middle of climbing up the stairs as well. "Come up, we have some things to talk about."

Anna still didn't answer. She already had her tail tucked in between her legs… and she knew she had to spill out everything as much as she wanted to prolong the time.

"Mama?"

She turned to her boy's soft voice, striding towards her by the staircase. His hands carried a small juice box and a small packet of pretzels. "Mama, are you staying for dinner?"

Anna smiled tightly. "Yeah. But I have to talk with Mom first, okay? Eat your snacks." She turned to see Elsa looking back at her expectedly. Elsa didn't even have to say anything to make Anna go quiet again. Leaning in to kiss Olaf's forehead, she quickly followed Elsa from behind to her bedroom.

The lights were dim in the surrounding area, but even the warmth of the light wasn't going to make Anna relax. She stood by the doorway, only to have Elsa turn, grab her arm… and pulled her right in. The door immediately shut close. "Elsa -"

" _Sit_." The blonde nodded to the bed, her voice emphasizing her frustration. Her body moved like she was being controlled by Elsa's words. She couldn't deal with herself, so she allowed it. She needed guidance, and if Elsa's anger - the coldness that was emitted - was guidance, then so be it.

She gazed at her own lap, feeling the silence overwhelm the harsh voices in her head. If Elsa was waiting for her to start - and she could feel Elsa's attentive eyes on her, the side of Elsa's arm touching her own - well, she wasn't sure how to start. _Maybe I_ _do_ _need to go to therapy._

"Anna, tell me what's wrong," she whispered. Anna was almost… so glad that her wife wasn't crossing any lines. Elsa vowed to have changed… and it showed. But how could Anna show her face to her after what she did yesterday? How could she tell her the honest truth to Meg, who clearly was and should be questioning her feelings now? Her throat was caught in a small tight lump, blocking any hurtful words from coming out.

They said they were going to be okay. She promised Meg that they would love each other forever and always. But all Anna had done… was betray her love and attention, and in a way, herself. How could any of this make her feel better?

Oh, but it would. She felt the woman's cool hand placed on her own. Those exasperated eyes moments ago eased, perhaps, seeing how upset Anna seemed. Even the most heavenly smile Anna had noticed on Elsa's face could not encourage her.

"You can trust me," she stated, almost pleading. Those four words… really were filled with trust, and Anna believed it. "Anna… _please_."

Anna wrung her fingers together on her lap, bottom lip pressed between her teeth. For a second, she had looked into Elsa's eyes, but stared down to her lap once more. Her lips trembled open, but it took so much courage to let out all these words. Everything… felt dizzying. Her world was just about to fall apart, but if it mattered, she wouldn't be here. "These past few months… I have been the most… happiest. With Meg. She made me smile, laugh, cry. She cooked for me. She kissed me. She listened to me when I needed someone to listen. She was perfect."

Elsa's smile, as expected, fell, but her hand still traveled up to Anna's small back. "Is something wrong?" she whispered.

Anna shook her head, chuckling to herself. "That's exactly it. Nothing is wrong. I have everything. But deep down… I know I have to admit that there is a part of me that knows that I'm not _enough_ for her. _That I'm no good for her."_

"Why do you think that?"

 _This is it._ She clenched her fingers together in a fist, lips pursing. Her eyes were coated with unshed tears, drowned with guilt and shame. The torture. She knew she had to do this… so she must endure. "Elsa… I have done her wrong." Her eyes wandered, and while those tears finally ended up streaming down, she never realized she was crying. "I… don't know if she knows. Maybe she does know. Maybe my mind is just playing tricks on me again…"

"Anna…"

"Ugh…" The redhead bent over to her knees, hands grasping her hair in frustration. Eyelids were shut to squeeze tears out… and while her mind continuously screamed for her to say everything, her lips weren't doing their job. "I fucked up…"

She waited for an answer. She waited for Elsa to ask how she had fucked up… but only a stressed silence answered her patience. Anna wasn't sure if she should be pleased by the fact or if she should run away right now. This was her _chance._ It was _her_ responsibility to open up. _I don't deserve her… I don't deserve either of them…_

"Anna, I promised you that I'm not that person that I was when we broke up." Anna blinked, her ears perking up to the sound of Elsa's gentle words singing into her ears. "I realized what I was missing. I regret all the things that I have done. That I have felt. Because I selfishly wanted fun. I selfishly thought about myself… and not my family. And I want to be… family once more. It doesn't matter what we are - friends, sisters, strangers - I will always support you, I will listen to you, and I will give you advice. I want you to know that you still have me. Anna, will you look at me?"

The redhead, with much courage, turned her throbbing head. Foreign tender fingers slowly stroked her messy hair back, and as much as Anna dared to lean herself in, her body wouldn't submit. There was something that she couldn't describe, seeing the way Elsa was gazing at her. Like they were so in love. Like she _cared._ She was… completely entranced at the way those eyes wandered on her expression, at the way those cheeks glowed pink with joy. And at least… Anna now realized just being here could make Elsa so happy.

But she was still crying like a child, still trying to hold it back like a child to look all strong and mighty. She needed to topple down. She had to. And in front of Elsa, God… that woman could make Anna fall apart in seconds. Feeling her wife wiping tears away from her cheeks with the palm of her soft hand… Anna never felt more broken.

" _I thought about you…"_ Anna croaked. Her wife… still continued to wipe her tears, humming attentively.

"You thought about me? Sure. In what way did you think about me, if I may ask?" The whole time, Elsa continued to bear a motherly smile.

Anna couldn't even bear a second, looking at her. The guilt… was riding on her shoulders like sticks and stones that even the acceptance in Elsa's voice couldn't even begin to lift it all up. She took a deep breath. The only comfort… was the softness of Elsa's hand touching her, loving her... and she needed it. _Do it. Say it._

She licked her lip. "I saw your messages… I couldn't stop thinking about it. I-I couldn't… I couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful you were that night… how you kissed my cheek. How you looked at me… I missed that so much. I-I… I didn't think…" slowly, Elsa brushed her fingers through Anna's hair again, like grooming a lost cat, "I didn't think any of this would happen."

"Mhm. What happened? Go on, take it slow," Elsa urged.

"I thought of you… I thought of Meg… I was selfish. I w-was touch… touching myself… while I was thinking about you. And, G-God, I messed up. How could I do this to her? How could I face her? How could I face you…? _I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked up -_ " Anna couldn't control herself anymore. Her hands itched, turning into fists immediately, and it only took a second until Anna started smacking her own head -

"Beautiful, no, no, no, no -" And it only took another second until Elsa had held her wrists, crossed them against Anna's chest… and her arms quickly embraced Anna. "Baby, you're okay."

"L-Let me go -"

"No, please. Don't do this, don't do this…" She let out a shaky sigh. "I've got you. You don't have to do this. You don't have to punish yourself. I don't want to see that… I don't want you to experience that."

But Anna was still trying hard to push the woman away. She didn't need Elsa to hug her like this. She didn't deserve it. "Elsa, please -" With her face just so close to Elsa's chest, she could hear those heartbeats quicken _. Is she… worried?_

"Shh…"

Lips pressed close to Anna's hair, hand continuing to soothe Anna's back. Oh, she never realized how much… better it was to let it all out. Even if it still hurt. Even if she knew… Elsa would feel some kind of way as well. She blankly stared at her wife's chest, listening to the hushes and the consistently fast heartbeat flowing into her ears.

"Oh, beautiful, please don't hurt yourself. It's not your fault -"

"It is…"

She sighed. "My darling, I only care about your well-being. Whatever you did yesterday… it won't bother me. Fine, you thought about me, great. I don't care about that right now. I only want to be your shoulder to cry on. Please don't hurt yourself."

Anna stayed silent, watching the remaining tears stain her wife's shirt. Her crossed arms loosely fell to her lap, but Elsa… still held her tightly in her arms. "Why aren't you mad at me? I did something so… despicable."

"Why should I be mad? They were your own thoughts and they were own personal feelings, and you chose to deal with it that way."

"I had… I had sex with her while I thought about you."

And even when Elsa hadn't pulled away… she could sense the hesitation of wanting to be kind and reasonable. She could feel her wife's body tensing even more… only to loosen up with a deep intake of breath. "Now, that… is something you need to tell her. I care, Anna… but that doesn't mean I can let everything go. I won't tell you my personal feelings because, frankly, I don't think you and I are ready for that yet. Tell her why you did what you did… and while I know it will be painful, it will be much better once you had let go."

"You're oddly reasonable about this…"

"It's not because I want to be reasonable. It's because I want to be there for you, and you needed my advice. Anna, look at me…" Her fingers slowly lifted Anna's chin up. "You thought about me… and I know you want me to hold onto you as hard as I could. But it's not right. Listen to your own heart." She pressed her two fingers against Anna's chest. "You don't need me to make that decision for you."

"Decision…"

She sighed, caressing Anna's cheek. "The decision to keep that a secret… or tell her how you truly feel."

And, ultimately… yes, it was going to be Anna's decision to make. Relying on Elsa was no use. She felt fingers still caressing her, gentle eyes watching her every expression. Anna knew… her wife meant well. Her wife was doing the very best that she could to make sure Anna knew what she should be doing. Anna listened. She had to.

Slowly, she nodded, wiping her wet cheeks with the palm of her hand. "I… I'm going to have to think about this. I'm sorry."

"Just so you know… I still always want you to think about me. And I'm glad that you were open to telling me all of this. Don't be so silly and keep your emotions inside, okay?" She lightly pinched Anna's cheek, prompting the redhead's spirit to be lifted slightly.

"Yeah. I know."

"Good. You're probably hungry. Why don't we come down now?"

* * *

Two months had passed since then. So many things had crossed her mind during that time, yet Anna didn't have the will to have a proper conversation with Meg. She knew it. Elsa knew it, but the blonde didn't push Anna to say anything. Oh, if only she did… then, perhaps, every time Anna had seen Meg… she wouldn't have to feel so conflicted and distracted. But things did change. And whether it was a good thing or a bad thing… well, it was up for someone's judgement, and definitely, not Anna's.

Every moment that Meg had texted or called her, all Anna could feel was guilt and shame. Every moment that Meg had kissed her… Anna only felt obligated to kiss her back because… well, they were girlfriends.

This was torture though. Anna knew that. Elsa… only stood by the side to watch, and as much as Anna wanted her to interfere, all Elsa could say was, "this your decision to make, I can only support you when you do make that decision". It wasn't something Anna loved hearing - in fact, she grew tired of it - but in the back of her head, she knew that was the right choice. And Anna… needed to make the _right choice._

The situation was increasingly growing tense at home. Anna could always feel how heavy the atmosphere could get every time Meg came to Anna's home to make dinner.

The clock ticked that evening as she looked out to the balcony of the living room. The weather was getting colder. Supposedly, it was going to shower with rain, but the sky seemed perfectly clear. Anna had been relaxing on the couch, letting the TV run through a certain news channel. Meg had been in the kitchen, and the gentle aroma of roasted chicken in the oven filled the air.

She turned to the small window connecting the living room and the kitchen, staring at her lover's back as she cooked. Life was… perfect, as it was. Living in a little household, with her perfect girlfriend cooking her a perfect meal while she sat back and relaxed… but where was the joy? Where was that joy she had a few months ago?

The more the days have passed, the heavier this guilt became, carried on her shoulders.

There were some days that she would just stay in Elsa's house because she couldn't take even a moment in her own apartment. She couldn't bear to be left alone in her own thoughts… thinking about Meg. Thinking about what she needed to say. And in those days… Anna felt _relaxed._ God, it was like… Elsa had decided to transfer all of these heavy feelings to herself. Every night, she would be smiling… and she would be laughing, and she would be enjoying her time with her son while Elsa sat beside her to talk.

But that was it. She still had a girlfriend to take care of - and she still had those words that her girlfriend needed to hear. It had been two months. If she waited even longer… she would only be hurting herself even more.

"Anna, would you set up the table for me? The chicken will be done in five minutes, and I've got my hands full with the veggies," Meg stated.

"Yeah, sorry." She got up straight away, standing right next to Meg as she searched the cabinet for plates and utensils. _Now's your chance._ "Hey, Meg…" She closed the cabinet door, slowly facing her lover with a stoic face. For some reason… she wasn't nervous. Of course, the guilt still weighted heavily on Anna, and just… staring at her loving face made her feel it even more.

"Hm?"

She placed the plates down on the counter. _You said it… Elsa has said it… it's about time you tell her. Do it._ Taking a deep breath, she came closer. Her legs trembled, skin prickling with goosebumps. But as much as she wanted to hold Meg in her arms, she wasn't doing it. She gazed at the woman's slender fingers to her pleasantly soft expression. "We need to talk."

Instantly, Meg had stopped her movements. Silence filled the air as that soft expression quickly turned blank. Anger. Coldness. Sadness. No… there were so many emotions in her eyes that Anna couldn't even describe. But all in all, Anna could see Meg… was heartbroken. And it was something Anna had never seen before. Or vowed that she would ever want to see, and now she has.

She watched as Meg turned the stove off, her hands coming up to hold the edge of the counter. The brunette took a deep breath, head lowering down. Slowly, Meg nodded, her brown eyes, filled with various emotions, turned to Anna. They knew they needed this. And only one that could stop this now… was Anna.

" _Yeah, we do."_

* * *

 _a/n: wow, what does everyone think of Anna now? personally... she's as broken as she can get. i feel really sorry for her... but i also feel really sorry for meg._

 _also if anyone has time, please check out my new fic, "crash" and give it a little bit of love! im sure everyone would love it because ive had so much fun writing it!_


	31. Chapter 31: You Felt Like A Kiss

_The hospital was filled with patients and doctors, but oddly - perhaps, it was a miracle - Anna was allowed to be by her wife's side in a single room with a single doctor and a nurse coming in, in rotation. Nobody could bother them, nobody here would even try to bother them. It had been hours. Anna was in and out of the hospital multiple times, fetching things that were needed, things that weren't needed, and sometimes, she just simply needed a break. But it wouldn't be too long of a break when she knew her wife needed Anna by her side._

 _Every hour had been incredibly agonizing. But they had to be brave. They had to be strong. They had experienced so many things that not a single thing could push them to their limit. Elsa also had been carrying a child inside of her for nine months, what were a couple of hours -  
_ " _OH GOD, ANNA, I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF!"_

 _Anna nearly spat her cup of water out as she listened to her wife wail out in pain. Thankfully, she knew her wife would never mean that seriously with all the contractions ruining her mind and soul. Not to mention, Anna's hand that Elsa was gripping on was near falling asleep. She winced, feeling a slight tingle on the tips of her near purple fingers, patting her labored wife's hand. With her free one, she began brushing her sweaty blonde hair off her face. "O-Okay… Okay, you've got this…"_

 _The woman immediately growled in annoyance, grasping her wife's collar tightly. And beneath that growl was a small utter of whimpers, voicing her agony. "I… s-swear to fucking god, Anna… if you don't do something - AGH!" Her head had quickly thrown back from the sharp pain coursing through her body._

 _The redhead immediately turned to the doctor, who sat right between Elsa's opened legs - as weirdly as it sounded. Nurses around them also had been consoling her wife all around, but Elsa was stubbornly getting more and more aggravated. "I-Is there anything you can do, sir?"_

 _The doctor was sweating bullets - unsurprising with the room being so heated. He was unfazed though, thank the Gods. "Ma'am, she's ready to push again." Such a calming voice, but nobody in this room - especially, Elsa - felt very calm._

 _Her teary eyes widened at the doctor's words. It hadn't been that long since her last push. "W-What? Nononono -" Her tired body refused to listen. Piercing screams of agony echoed through the hospital, and Anna didn't doubt the whole block could hear her curse the sky. Her head was pounding with the growing number of times Elsa had been screaming and groaning in pain - and, of course, she felt terrible - but she promised they would get through this together._

" _Elsa…" Anna leaned in, her fingers patting on her blonde hair. Blue eyes, teary and impossibly tired, gazed at her. "Elsa, you're going to be okay…"_

 _Her labored breathing was growing heavier, and those eyes diverted back to between her legs. "I'm scared…"_

" _Shh, everything is going to be okay. Look at me," Anna urged, smiling with such love and delicacy. "You're going to be okay. I'm… I'm so proud of you. I could never thank you enough for giving us this gift. I love you, and I love… I love our son. So much. We're going to watch him grow, and he's going to have two lovely mothers watching over him. I'm going to teach him how to ride a bike, you're going to teach him all about building stuff - but, first, we're using legos." She chuckled, and tears were already coating her eyes, and it had to be the most wonderful cry she was having. Sniffling, she wiped her shedding tears against the arm of her flannel, a clumsy smile drawn on her face._

 _The blonde was crying as well - perhaps, out of exhaustion. Perhaps, she had listened to the whole thing - but they both knew they couldn't stop here. She gripped onto Anna's hand, another grasping the edge of the armrest._

" _Alright, Elsa, are you ready to push? One, two…"_

" _AGHHHH!" The veins on her neck were bulging visibly as she threw her head back, every single one of her muscles tensing._

 _Anna simply watched in fascination, and though she completely feared for her wife's wellbeing - she was overwhelmingly excited for what was about to come._

" _Once more," the doctor stated._

" _O-Okay, okay… one more. One more, you can do it -"_

" _Fuck, Anna, I can't -" she moaned, and another hit of contraction came crashing in._

 _Anna shut her eyes as the screaming continued, praying… praying that everything would be okay. Praying that their son would come to the world with a smile on his face… always with a smile on his face. She drowned herself in her own thoughts, but her ears were completely open to Elsa cursing to the Gods, screaming her name. Whatever would make her wife feel better, she would do… and if it meant that Elsa's squeezing of her hand would break bones, Anna was completely fine with it._

 _She wished this would go by quicker. Elsa… had been suffering, and while Anna's first thought before coming to the hospital was to give Elsa some anesthesia, the blonde blatantly refused._

 _Anna remembered those words: "I want to feel our son coming to this world, and I want him to know how much I love him by doing something as simple as this". Simple. It turned out… this wasn't so simple after all._

 _But she knew Elsa wouldn't regret it. Having to be told that she had failed two in-vitro… Elsa obviously didn't want to hear that anymore. She was willing to try. And she was willing to experience this… feel the happiness coursing through her, and to give birth to a baby girl or boy over and over again. Perhaps, other parents said it right: this_ _could_ _be an addiction._

 _But only Elsa would know how wonderful it'd feel. And Anna… would sit by her side and watch their happiness grow tenfold. Very willingly and feeling very free._

 _Wails continued to fill the room, but oddly enough, she heard another high-pitched cry. Elsa's voice had suddenly been lowered._

" _Anna…"_

 _The redhead opened her eyes. Blinked. Tears continued to obstruct her vision, but she could see the relaxation on Elsa's face spread. Those cries… continued to sound, prompting her to turn to the direction of the doctor that had a small object, bundled in a blanket. What were those echoes? Why did the voice sound so small? Maybe Anna was living in dreamland right now._

 _Silently, she turned from being curious about the small bundle to Elsa. The large curve on Elsa's stomach had… shrunk. A lot more. Immediately, her breath had been taken away when the small cries grew louder. "Elsa…?"_

 _The blonde merely smiled, tears resting on the corner of her eyes. "He's here."_

 _He's here?_ _Slowly, she turned to the doctor, who had lowered himself… and their little boy - their little boy, coated with a thin layer of blood, wrapped in a pink little blanket, was crying. She hadn't even realized the doctor had put the fragile child in her arms… she hadn't realized how gently she was cradling him. All she knew was that he was beautiful and he was as light as a doll._

 _And for a moment, she didn't know how to react. She had never held a child… she had never had her_ _own_ _child in her own arms. Doing this, feeling the small body relax in her own arms as if he was familiar with his own mother already, filled her with such blissfulness and joy. At this moment, she had finally realized… he was finally here._

 _She chuckled, tears weeping through the corners of her eyes. "Oh God… that's our baby. Elsa, that's our baby… hi, baby, it's Mama. You're so beautiful, baby..."_

" _Let me see…"_

 _She helped her wife sit up, and in turn, she passed their child to Elsa's arms. He was so small, so fragile, and Anna thought she could easily hurt him even if it was just to pass him to Elsa. The two, having their moment, watched as the child slowly stopped crying, his little fingers reaching and squeezing out nothing but air._

" _God," Anna croaked, quickly pressing her lips against her wife's forehead. "You're so incredible."_

 _Elsa didn't speak. Her hand with their ring shining on her finger had covered her lips that trembled in shock, and silently… she wept. Anna understood. She completely understood how she felt - after months of hardship, frustration, dozens of mood swings, finally… everything was over, and out came the result of all that. An outstanding reward for everything that they had been through._

 _Quietly, she allowed her wife be. Her thumb gently caressed her son's soft cheek. "Wow… he's got your nose. Your hair. It's as light as a feather."_

 _Her wife nodded, still speechless… cradling their son with all the love that she could pour at him._

" _Elsa…" Anna chuckled, wrapping her arm around her shoulder. "It's Olaf. His name is Olaf."_

" _Olaf…" she mouthed. "Our beautiful boy, Olaf…"_

" _Yeah, look at him. He looks so peaceful." And indeed, with his eyes completely shut, his lips parted in a gentle smile as he continued to sleep. Anna could never get used to seeing this - and she wished she would never get used to the way Olaf looked. She was thankful and so grateful for her wife - for giving Anna the best life that they could ever have together._

 _Gazing at her, she was met with the same loving eyes. "I love you," Anna whispered._

 _Quietness filled the air when she felt lips pressed against her own… but no words needed to be said for Anna to understand that that kiss would be equivalent to those same three words. With her eyes fluttering closed, she embraced her wife, her hand carefully holding their son's small body. Everything just felt right. Everything… felt like a dream come true. Deep down, she promised herself one thing - she would never stop caring for her two loved ones… and she would never stop learning to love her son the more he continued to grow. They deserved so much and better._

* * *

Silence overtook the living room where they stood. The lights dimmed in their tight surroundings, and the intensity of the air heightened the more they stayed quiet… the more their eyes just gazed emptily at each other, just standing in the middle of the room. Words could not describe how they felt, and all the emotions were all shown in each other's eyes.

And Anna… all Anna felt was the extreme guilt. Behind that mask of emptiness, behind the way her body stiffened up, there was fear. Her girlfriend… her perfectly fine girlfriend was standing right in front of her, arms crossed over her torso. Never once had their gaze left each other as well.

After all these months of hiding her own emotions, of _fearing_ of hurting Meg, she finally had the courage of wanting to talk. Only, Meg knew exactly what it was that they needed to talk about the moment her happy-go-lucky smile had turned sour.

Even through this silence, everything hurt. It hurt to imagine what Meg could say to her. It hurt to imagine all the crying… all the screaming and anger, but was it going to be all worth it? It had to be. Anna had wanted to let everything go, and if she had waited any longer, she'd only regret it. She knew it too well, especially for someone who hadn't been able to act on her courage for so long.

The brunette inhaled, and it was the first sound that had come out between them. "So? How do you want this to go?" She stuck her hand out with raised eyebrows. "Would _you_ like to start?"

 _Damn it._ Anna clenched her jaw together, her eyes unable to bear to see the extreme ferocity in Meg's eyes. "Meg… I… I was the one that was wrong," she nodded, "I was the one that night… that did something so despicable. I don't expect you to forgive me -"

"Did you _ever_ love me?"

Her heavy heart had decided to drop from the impact of her words. _How…? How am I supposed to answer that?_ With tears coating her eyes, she tried her best to look at her. The least Meg deserved was this. Respect. But it was wrong… it was wrong, coming from someone who _did_ wrong.

When she expected anger on Meg's face, all she could see was the disappointment and her complete distrust for Anna. Her soft voice that said those harsh words echoed in the back of Anna's head like a recorder. This wasn't going to do. A peaceful talk like this was never going to happen, and Anna knew it. She was only dreaming of this. "Meg… Meg, you know I love you. You know that, and that's why I'm -"

 _Slap._

It was called for. And like a statue, all Anna did was stare blankly at Meg's feet. How could she ever meet her eyes? Her cheek… reddened and stinging, was filled with Meg's agonized pain. And as she continued to shamefully stare at her feet, she heard a series of soft whimpers.

" _Do_ _I_ _know that you love me? What did I ever do to you..._?" her voice croaked, and the tall woman had taken a step back.

It was her chance… and she took this chance to pick her head up. She took the chance to see the heartbreak in her eyes… she took the chance to see tears streaming down her cheeks… how the woman just nodded in acceptance because they both knew Anna never _once_ loved her.

But Anna still remained quiet. If she ever deserved to speak out, she would know what love is, and she would be on her knees in plea if she needed to be. But her heart spoke of illusions. Of lust. Of needing someone beside her because the person she loved didn't want to fulfill and return that love. And now… Anna didn't want that kind of lust anymore.

" _I gave everything to you…"_ Meg growled between her teeth, between her tears and cries, fingers pointed to her own chest. "I gave you _my_ life. Every time… you thought of her, you drank, and I watched you. I would watch you, and I would fill your cup until it overflowed because I was willing to give you all the things that you wanted. I held your hand, and I willingly drowned with you. I took it so far to do _so much…_ and I made sure I held you close."  
Anna shut her eyes.

" _Every time_ you fell to your knees, every time you cried, I made sure I was _there_. And, every time, I managed to get you back to your feet. I didn't _need_ you to thank me. Your _love_ was enough for me, I didn't need anything from you other than _that,_ " the brunette emphasized, and freely those tears continued to fall down the cheeks Anna had once kissed… cheeks that Anna had once held in her hands. "I did all that just so you can take advantage of me. Do you know how much I've endured? Having to hear you constantly talk about that woman that never loved you… it _hurts._ "

"Meg, that's not -"

"I was the one who put you on top! _I_ was the one who helped you get out of that broken place!" she yelled, jabbing a finger at Anna. "I was the one who put you up there because I wanted you to deserve all the love and happiness that you didn't get from her! While you _wallowed_ in your own misery, who embraced you? Who kissed you? Who gave you words of confidence to make sure that you were smiling again? Who bathed you, cooked for you, comforted you, wiped your tears when you felt like you've earned none of this? I WAS THE ONE WHO FUCKING CARED WHEN NOBODY ELSE CARED FOR YOU!"

 _Stop it. Just stop it._

Anna couldn't talk, let alone think. All this time, she wept like a child. All this time as she listened to Meg's outburst… the more she realized how right Meg was. The more she realized Meg didn't deserve what a fuck-up that she was. And with her blurred vision, all she could see was the gleam of heartbreak… and all the words that Meg had kept inside in her own heart for so long being let out right here, right now.

"I… gave you all my love, how _dare_ you take advantage of me. Tell me, Anna… what does she have that I don't already have? What do you see in her that you never saw in me?"

Anna didn't answer.

"Or perhaps… you just saw too much of her in me." Her arms slouched to her side in exhaustion. Maybe, beyond that, there was acceptance, but Anna wouldn't know. She wouldn't know anything.

Of course, she wouldn't even know what she wanted now because Meg was right - Elsa didn't have anything that Meg didn't already have. The beauty, the kindness, the selflessness, the way Meg would tend to Anna…

No, there were so many flaws that Elsa had that Meg didn't have, and it would have been more than enough, and yet… it wasn't Meg that she truly still loved. It wasn't _enough._ Why did it have to be Elsa? Why did it have to be someone who was so imperfect and broken?

Her silent gaze averted to looking at the brunette, and her lips quivered nervously as she began to speak. Meg was waiting, always had been waiting. "All the time…" she started, her gentle voice sounding remorseful and guilt-ridden. "All I've ever done was hurt you more and more. I accept it. I know how I feel… and I know I was thinking about her when we laid together. I know... you knew that as well. I just… _I'm sorry_."

Meg stiffened. "Don't tell me _you're sorry_. I waited all these months… wondering when will there be a moment that you start talking. _Two. Months._ It took two months. You're _not_ sorry. You were never sorry." For a moment, she said nothing, but her hand had raised up in the air again suddenly, palm facing Anna. The redhead, though had flinched, continued to meet Meg's gaze.

If she wanted to slap Anna again, she'd take it. A thousand times more. Moments had passed, but it never happened. Those spread fingers wrung together in a fist before falling slowly to her side. "You..." She pursed her lips in a tight line, but all the words were coming out rapid fire. "You _couldn't_ have just waited until I have fallen out of love… Could you? How does it feel now that you've said all that you could?"

Anna couldn't answer that. She was lucky enough not to earn another slap. "I'm sorry…" And that was all she could repeat, but those words wouldn't fix a damn thing. In desperation, she could have gotten on her knees, but, oh, she was too prideful for that, right?

The brunette scoffed in disbelief, fingers quickly swiping away those pained tears. "You know… all this time, I was confident I wanted to start a family with you. That it would be with Olaf. I was wrong."

That didn't sit well with Anna. Her ears perked and drenched in crimson, and with the sound of Olaf's name worded through Meg, she eyed her, finally, with a sense of bravery. "Meg… Olaf is just a child, who still has Elsa and I as his mothers. How… how could you even think such a thing?"

"Because I was _naively_ falling in love with you, and now I realize how stupid I was to think that." "Meg…" The moment she reached to grab Meg's arm, the woman stepped away. Of course. Who would want to touch Anna? Who would want… to be with a woman who didn't have a fucking backbone? Meg was right, and she was always right about one thing…

"You haven't changed a bit," the brunette replied, her words as cold as ice. She was quickly grabbing her stuff, their eyes unmet. The front door creaked open… and when Anna had expected the woman to slam the heavy door on her face, she stayed where she was, fingers grasping the handle tightly. And Anna… for the last time, watched. "I was too blind by my own love… that I even turned a blind eye to everything that you did. That you said. Because I thought our love could do no wrong. You _can't_ live without me, Anna. You know that."

"Meg, please!"

 _Click_ , the door closed, and all that filled the air was silence. In the background, as she stood in the middle of the room, gazing at the door - and, like the broken person she was, wished that Meg would come back - the gentle rain painted her window. And, slowly, seconds had passed, and the rumbling of the thunder… the waves of rain crashed down like an earthquake.

The last two sentences echoed, sharing the bitterness that Meg was feeling… and through the emptiness of her own home, of her own heart, she continued to listen to those two words repeating over and over again. All this time… she had had her hands held by Meg, and never once had the brunette let her go. But she was right once more. If it weren't for her… Anna would have drowned so deep into her own feelings, nobody could save her.

She deserved this. She deserved to see her leave… to see the crystal droplets trailing down Meg's cheeks. She deserved the hurt, the pain, and from where she stood… she never felt so lonely. So… in peace. It was over.

Acceptance filled her heavy heart, and all she was left with was the single thought that Meg was right to leave her. To find someone else. Though, as heartbroken as she was, Anna didn't doubt the fact that, perhaps… Meg had already found someone else.

She gazed down to the floor, back meeting against the balcony window, and her two fingers ran down the red outline on her cheek of where Meg had slapped her. Admittedly, when she did call for Meg… she merely did it in need to save her own reputation. Not for love. For the fact that her prideful self didn't want to be _embarrassed._ But it had finally been too late.

She wasn't sure what she wanted to do now. In fact, though, while she longed to weep through her own sorrow, no remaining tears would come out. The next thing she knew, she was out in the empty streets. The next thing she knew… rain replaced those tears, and in mere seconds, she was soaked with mother nature. Anna… couldn't be in that apartment anymore.

Memories of them together in their own happiness and love filled that place. Love that Anna was willing to provide. Love… that she knew, was Meg's true feeling as well. _And I've betrayed her._

With dreadfully slow strides, hands in her pockets, shoulders slouched, eyes shamefully glaring at her own feet, she began walking. There wasn't a destination. Unsure of what to do, unsure of where to go, she let her body take her to places where she was fine going. Perhaps, a bar. Perhaps… a strip club. Somewhere to spend her money and drown to become numb.

Perhaps, then, she would be able to learn to love again.

* * *

"Mom?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think Mama will be okay?"

The blonde blinked her attention from the TV, turning to the dining table where Olaf was sitting, doing his homework. Those big blue eyes, as curious as it should be, looked quite serious as well. While Elsa stayed in silence, in contemplation, the background was filled with cartoon sound effects. Slowly, the woman took the remote on the coffee table and turned the volume down. She didn't need to tell Olaf to come over as she noticed the boy doing just that, sitting right beside her.

Sighing, she ran her fingers through her son's hair, eyes gazing up at the ceiling. That question… was very broad, and it was a question that Elsa would more than often ask herself as well. First off, how would she define 'okay'?

Two months had passed ever since they had had that talk, and ever since then, there had been many moments that Anna felt the most joyous - only with the wrong person. Elsa had always told her she should be happy with Meg… not when she came back to Elsa's house. Many times after that, Anna would simply feel discouraged, almost like Elsa had just taken away her candy. Anyone would understand that this behavior just wasn't normal.

Two months had passed. In the span of that entire time, Elsa made herself a promise that she wouldn't push Anna to do a single thing. Anna… needed to be the one to get back up on her feet on her own.

Running her fingers through Olaf's hair, her attention shifted blankly to the black screen, showing nothing but a dark reflection of herself. _Is she okay?_ She would ask herself, but in the end, she would be left without a solid answer, because the only time she knew Anna would look okay… was when they were together.

She exhaled, "I don't know, honey." It was the most truthful answer. "Mama has been… going through a lot lately."

"Is that why she's home often?" He gasped, his face beaming with excitement. "Is she gonna stay?! I want her to stay!"

Her own words were caught in her own throat as she pursed her lips together. Even thinking about it herself, she didn't have a clue why Anna would always come back here. But deep down, she recognized Anna's heart… and what it desired. _Who_ it desired. As wishful as she was, Elsa still turned a blind eye on her, turned her back on her… because they had to know being together now was not right.

She truly despised her younger, more immature self for letting go of someone that had given her no truer love than anything else. At one point… maturity had to grow and be embraced, and it was her that had to let Anna go, instead. It was better for both of them.

Jealousy was often a thing, but she knew jealousy came with toxicity. When Anna needed her the most, Elsa had to be in the most open mind. And whatever Anna needed, she would give… even if it meant Anna would stay in their home for days on end. No doubt, she knew Anna hated being in that apartment.

"Olaf, do you know… people get lonely sometimes?"  
He hummed, eyeing his feet. "Well, I get lonely in school sometimes when we have to do work."

She chuckled. "Well, I don't mean it as in… being physically by yourself for a long period of time. I mean your feeling." She tapped her finger on Olaf's heart. "Mama feels lonely. I don't know how to describe it to you, darling. The only thing we have to do - the best thing we have to do - is be there for her."

He frowned, confusion written across his adoring face. "I don't understand? Is she sad?"

Elsa pursed a pitiful grin. "You can say that. But I'm trying to make her happy - and you… you don't even have to try, baby. Letting her see you brings so much happiness in her heart."

"Then, Mom, why do _you_ have to try?"

 _Because there's something that I need to prove to her._ She couldn't say it though. And even if she did, the doorbell had rung, disrupting their little family time together. Of course, completely distracted, she hadn't realized outside was pouring with rain, and only a lonely street light lit the sidewalk from across their living room window.

"I'll be right back, sweetie." _Brring._ "Coming!"

And only when she opened the door, every single fiber of her body had ceased right then and there. No, she feared nothing. She _felt_ nothing… but in time, shock coursed through her eyes like rapid waves. First, it was disbelief. Second, it was confusion. And, finally, Elsa had gotten to where she belonged… listening to the rain splattering on the roof of her house, the rumbling thunder and lightning shaking the surface of the earth.

In front of her, stood Anna in her complete misery. Though her face was stoic, Elsa could see through it all - the heartbreak… the anger… the acceptance. "Anna…" she whispered, letting her eyes wander at the chaos that her wife was.

Dressed in a hoodie and jeans… Anna was soaked in the rain from head to toe. Her gorgeous auburn hair was limp from life, and those brightly colored eyes were blank from any blissfulness. Elsa had seen her like this before, and never once could she get used to it.

"Anna… what are you…"

The redhead's laughter was as bitter as it could be, and Elsa could taste it. "I did it. I finally did it. I… I made my decision."

For a moment, Elsa thought her life, so filled with bliss and torture, had flashed by. Memories upon memories trickled through her mind like a videotape and all… Elsa could ever see was their everlasting love for each other back then. The animated smile that Anna would once bear for her seemed so different to now. The tears that fell used to be filled with ecstasy… and right now, the sight had become unbearable.

Anna's tears were masked in the rain, droplets trickling down her cheeks… and that smile, almost crooked… wasn't filled with the same happiness either.

So many things had crossed Elsa's scattered mind, but she realized her main priority was to comfort Anna. It didn't matter if it was raining, it didn't matter if Olaf was still inside, it didn't matter if they were wet and dirty. _It didn't matter what Anna had done._ Almost instantly, she came out of the house, arms immediately reaching to hug her wife as tightly as possible. Her lips kissed the woman's forehead, and that was enough to snap Anna.

Cries of sorrow echoed through the rain, familiar arms slowly wrapping around her waist so tightly. Familiarity was all Elsa ever knew right now. Back in each other's arms, Elsa found comfort in knowing that Anna was here, was safe… and all she needed now was a little love.

"There you go… I've got you. I'm here… I've got you, darling."

* * *

 _a/n: you ever write a chapter and suddenly just cry, and you dont know what you're crying about, but youre crying anyway? yea, this is one of those chapters._


	32. Chapter 32: You're Pretty When You Cry

The tense air in the house continued to thicken like fog. The evening had drowned in the night, and the heavy rain that plagued the earth had softened to a few droplets. The clock ticked with midnight creeping in, and the only lights around the house that gleamed were in the living room and Elsa's room. The faucet in the kitchen dripped against the metal sink, and just outside the window, the melodic dribbles were accompanied by the remaining rain splattering down on the surface. From afar, upstairs, the shower was turned on.

Elsa had quietly crept into Olaf's room on the same floor, hand on the doorknob. She wouldn't stay for long so as not to disturb her son.

Though the surroundings were absent of light, the moon drew plenty of light in the room. Smiling in silence, she gently walked towards his bed hugging the corner of the room to tuck the boy in again with the discarded blanket, placing Marshmallow back in his arms when it fell to the floor. Luckily for the mother, Olaf was sleeping quite heavily.

"Good night, sweetheart," she whispered, fingers threading through his light hair, lips pecking a gentle kiss on his forehead. Olaf hummed softly, his head turning to his mother's soft touch. Her loving smile stretched, and as much as she wished to stay, she stepped out of his room.

Just in time, closing the door, her movement quickly ceased when her eyes met with the opening and the closing of the bathroom door across the hall and the redhead - hair washed and thoroughly dried with a towel - standing right there.

The silence continued to draw out between them, and while they should be _okay_ right now, there was still an awkward presence just sitting there. Elsa was going to make it her mission to keep Anna in the most comfortable place possible. It was hardly an easy task.

They had spent the last few hours in the living room weeping and hugging… and then, silence. Many of the words that Elsa wanted to say to her had been stuck in her throat, and while she recognized that Anna was back in her safe arms, she also recognized that the shadows under those azure eyes were brimmed with heartache and torment. None of them had said a word to each other after that - both not knowing what to say, where to begin… or whether or not they should even be under the _same_ roof together.

They stood in front of each other just a few feet apart, but it seemed like the floors and walls had been stretched for miles. Their expressions were blank, and most of all, Elsa had noticed Anna's eyes had dropped to the floor.

 _Where should I even begin?_ "Are you hungry?" she asked.

"No. Thank you."

 _She has to be hungry…_ Exhaling a disappointed breath, decidedly, the blonde descended the stairs. She expected her wife to follow her down. "Would you like a drink?"

"Yes."

Her eyebrows crossed sternly as she continued on. At the last step down, she turned to Anna. " _One_ drink, okay?"

Anna's clumsy smile - with a hint of nostalgia and pain - stretched. "Sure."

Heading to the kitchen, knowing that her wife was sitting on the couch, she poured two glasses of stashed-away whiskey for both of them. Right now, this intense feeling of remembrance and comfort was here to stay. She embraced it willingly, and although knowing that the divorce was the only thing keeping them apart, she still wanted to be as close to Anna as possible. Well, as possible as Elsa would be able to allow herself.

For a short moment, Elsa eyed the wavering reflection of the alcohol in deep thought. She hadn't thought about it, but she would dread the next moments with Anna being tipsy. But she was an adult - she had self-control. All she desired was to be beside Anna and be her shoulder to cry on.

Taking a sharp breath in, she grabbed the two glass cups and sat next to Anna. "Here."

Smiling tightly, Anna took the offer, their fingers brushing against one another. "Thanks."

Another dreadful stretch of silence. _When will this ever end?_

Her cautious eyes watched her wife take a sip - one that was way too big for her liking. Instead of mirroring the act, Elsa placed her full glass on the coffee table. She leaned forward, one hand running through her own hair, elbows placed on the top of her knees. Her eyes were unmoving, observant… but also showing the utmost care and wariness. While Anna hadn't taken a single look at her, deep down, she knew Anna wanted the attention.

"Anna." She touched her wife's leg.

With the same vacant eyes, the redhead turned.

As observant as she was, only now… had Elsa recognized her wife's true beauty. Those turquoise eyes, while filled with heartbreak, had a glint of charming light. Her damp hair was a wonderful mix of copper and a few strands of light blondeness bouncing against the pleasant glare of the light, covering her gaze. The freckles that dotted her thin face were the greatest perfection she had ever seen.

She had called her name… and yet, all she was doing was gawking at Anna's features like a statue. But she caught herself. "Anna, what happened?"

Anna shifted her sight to the coffee table. She simply swayed her head in disagreement. Elsa noticed that her wife would purse her lips when she was thinking… or trying to hold back words. As animated as Elsa remembered Anna being back then, it felt so foreign to realize how quiet Anna had been these past days. _And it's all because of me._

Anxiousness soaked the room, and she watched as Anna wrung her fingers together. Immediately, Elsa placed her own hand atop of Anna's. Knowing that there was someone that would listen to her… to be Anna's comfort. And, only then, only when Anna had softened her own grip at the touch, those poignant teal eyes were drawn to Elsa once again.

"I…" a gentle breath sang from Anna's lips, pressing them back together once again. Her eyebrows were pinched together as well. Her eyes began to tear up, but Elsa wasn't about to let her cry just yet.

Her fingers kissed Anna's warm cheek, tracing through loose strands of hair to push back. Her loving eyes, warm and attentive, searched Anna's tired face… and as much as she realized she should smile for her wife, she couldn't. Seeing Anna like this was heartbreaking enough. Knowing that Anna couldn't say a word to her because God knows what was enough to break the blonde. She tried not to blame herself, but moments like this weren't helping her shattered mind.

"Darling, I'm here… you're safe. You can talk to me," she reassured.

The redhead closed her eyes in contemplation."Why did it have to be you?" she started. Her voice - although small - trembled.

Confusion quickly warped into the blonde's head. The slouch of her shoulders displayed nothing but acceptance though. "Anna…"

"She was… perfect all around. She was right," her eyes opened, regret unveiled in her pupils, "I haven't changed. She said so many hurtful things… but she was _right_. I was a wreck. I was a fool. I gave her nothing while she gave me everything. She was perfect while you… you hurt me. Why did I come back to you?"

Anna had dropped her head, and while she was quiet, Elsa felt wetness dampen the skin of her palm. Everything had ceased to exist, except for both of them… and Elsa had taken in those pained words coming out of her perfect lips. It _fucking_ hurt to see her this way. To see her wife feeling so tortured.

Of course, it even pained her to reply and to listen, but she needed this for the betterment of herself and Anna.

Her thumb gently caught those tears sliding down her cheek in the midst of this grieving stillness. Her other hand came to finger through Anna's hair gently. While her wife had still not gathered the courage to look at her, Elsa took the chance to wrap her arms around the woman's back. Though hesitant, Anna still willingly took her in, and it was enough for her. She could _feel_ Anna.

She sighed, pressing her nose against the crook of Anna's neck, lips whispering against her ear. The sweet scent was almost too nostalgic. "You loved her so much," she began, only to feel an immediately shake of her wife's head.

"No…"

"No?"

"She was right about another thing… I wasn't in love with her."

Perfect. Just perfect. Elsa slowly pulled herself away, her own eyes screwed shut. She sensed Anna's stare, filled with expectations and longing. But deep down, she had accepted the fact that even if Anna was here… touching Elsa with the lightest contact, saying those words so nonchalantly, she was still undeserving of Anna's love. Especially, with alcohol coursing through Anna's veins, Elsa wasn't going to let her wife descend back down to the hell that she had just come back from.

Simply, she shook her head. "I can't do this, Anna. Not now. You've said it before… I'm keeping that promise."

The feeling of Anna's hand on her knee twitching caught her attention. Those teal eyes were unfazed, though, as much as those tears continued to paint down her cheeks. The sight of Anna's quiet weeping just looked absolutely serene and gorgeous. Everything else had been blurred, and her only focus was on her wife. Her broken… broken wife.

" _Why did it have to be you?"_ Anna repeated, gritting her teeth. "You fucked me up… but it was always still _you._ You fucked up my happiness, you threw _baggage after baggage_ of emotions on me, and in the end, you still slapped me in the face with a man who didn't even love you, you stabbed me over and over again when you realized I was more than good enough for you by the time I was fully in a relationship with her… but it was always still _you_. Why… did I have to love someone like you? God damn it!" she cried, bottom lip trembling, but she knew how strong her wife wanted to seem.

Elsa merely sat there, taking all the poisonous cries with widened eyes. She tightened her jaw, and her body tensed when she felt fists weakly pounding against her chest. She allowed it. She wanted it. Her own fingers, suddenly quivering, wrapped around itself in a fist, but never once had she ever touched Anna.

"Why did it have to be you…? Why couldn't I just forget about you and move on? You just kept bringing me in… keeping me within arms reach, while I had nothing. _Nothing._ What makes you so special that I still love you? Answer me… Why can't you answer me?" the redhead wept.

Tears, all filled with remembrance and the bitterness of Anna's words, suddenly coated her eyes. She couldn't even spare a glance at her pitiful wife. She couldn't even _defend_ herself from the numerous poundings on her body because then… that would mean she didn't deserve it. Right?

Those quiet sobs had grown louder. Anna's hurtful poundings had softened, fingers finally grasping on her shirt… and now the only pressure that touched her was Anna's head against her chest. It was then that Elsa had embraced her wife again, her arms holding her as tightly as they could. As much love as she could ever provide. Her tears trickled down her cheeks in silence, and all that filled the living room was Anna's cries - and, oddly enough, it was like music to Elsa.

Her breath hitched as she inhaled. Her body soothed out from its tension as she felt Anna gripping her collar as tightly as possible as if never wanting to let go. Gods, Elsa felt like she was suffocating under the layers and layers of gnawing pain.

There was one thing she wanted to say to relieve that torture… one thing she wanted Anna to accept.

" _I'm sorry_ ," she barely croaked, dropping her head, lips against Anna's hair.

"You… _bitch_ …"

"Call me what you want, Anna," she replied. "It doesn't change the fact that I still love you… that I will always be there for you… and that if you cry, I will always wipe your tears away."

She shook her head against Elsa's chest. "Don't say that… You can't promise something that you don't mean."

She leaned closer in emphasis. "I mean it all. _Wholeheartedly_. I don't expect you to trust me. I don't expect anything from you. I… I just want you to know that I'm there, and I will always put you first."

Her wife inhaled shakily. The crying had stopped… and while the silence continued on for a while, the tension had lessened. Still, Elsa continued to clutch her wife tightly in her arms… because they belonged here. They belonged together as broken as they were.

"She said those exact same things."

Elsa's eyelids fluttered open slightly. Knives continued to twist and turn through her heart, but she held out a longing smile for her. Her tender fingers continued to nuzzle through Anna's hair, feeling the woman ease herself soon after. It always felt nice knowing what would make her wife feel good… knowing that Anna's outburst - while filled with resentment and hurt - was short-lived. Though Elsa hadn't complimented her, she knew she had to speak from the heart. She peered blankly at the slow expansion and shrinkage of Anna's back with each gradual breath taken. It was hypnotizing, really.

Bitter tears, while Anna wasn't looking, rolled over Elsa's sympathetic smile. There were so much to say, so much she needed to prove to Anna…

"I… never told you how I felt," she uttered slowly, dragging her fingers through her wife's hair in comfort. "When you came to me… weeping, telling me how it was your fault for thinking of me when you were having your own time by yourself, telling me how you slept with her, still with me in your mind…" her grip around Anna's waist strained, jaw tightening, "Anna, I was jealous. I was… _so_ god damn jealous."

Slowly, as expected as it was, Anna had pulled away. Eyes, reddened from the weeping, turned to her with all the attention.

With a slight touch, her fingers gingerly pushing back Anna's auburn hair, the blonde tilted her head. _She's so beautiful…_ And she was so beautiful that Elsa couldn't believe Anna was sitting right in front of her, curiosity and yearning trapped in those bright eyes. _And I don't deserve this…_

Still, Elsa continued to dress her face with a smile, eyeing her so warmly and longingly. There wasn't a chance that she was ever going to let her go now. "I wanted to be _her._ I thought… it should have been me that was with you. Watching you. Touching you. It should have been me that should have given you all the love you deserve. _It should have been me._ But it wasn't… and I watched you drown in your misery day after day, doing _nothing_ … thinking that it would be the best for both of us to just stay apart. Thinking that she was better than me in all the ways that you thought I was. I _watched_ you be happy with someone that should have been me, and I was angry and resentful at myself for leaving you. I was stupid to think that I was falling out of love with you… and I hurt you so _badly_ because of this. It should never have been this way, and I -"

Her heart ceased its drumming. Her body tensed, eyes widened, and Anna's flowery fragrance had quickly drifted into her space. The moment felt like an eternity, as if all space and time didn't exist. The warmth drenched the atmosphere, but she knew what this was. She knew whose warmth this was. It was so calming. So soothing.

Familiar… oh, familiar lips were pinned against her own, gentle auburn hair brushing against her brows, nose rested side by side against each other.

Relaxation slowly came to stay. And as her darkness had taken into her sight, the only remaining tears that rested on the tip of her chin had fallen… and whatever sorry emotions she was feeling had been coated with elation and shock. Her breathing had been hitched… and all she could sense was Anna's gentle touch on her wrists. All she could taste… was her sweetness. It had been so long… it felt so long, and she wanted this to be even _longer._

She whimpered - not knowing why she did or if it even mattered - as she felt a hand gently hold her jaw, a touch drawn to the side of her thigh. Their breathing was slow and calculated, Anna's lips on her own was filled with perfection. And as reluctant as she was, knowing that Anna would be drunk by now, Elsa wanted to drown in her acquainted touch. She wanted to drown in Anna's… love.

Slowly, while it seemed like forever, her tensed body had weakened… and she leaned in closer with much eagerness… much love. Her fingers wrapped around her wife's thin wrist on her lap, another holding around her waist. No other thoughts, no other words could ever escape, and Elsa wanted to stay this way. But reluctantly, her heart said no. Her heart said stop.

She sighed, her own lips spread for more, and Anna mirrored her action. Her cheeks grew hot with desire, and her tingling fingers wanted to search for _more._

Nothing… felt more perfect than the woman sitting in front of her. Nothing felt softer than the lips that had seized her own for each other and the way her hands would hold her, like a king to a queen. _Like my darling wife…_

Her own eyes were hooded, watching Anna drown in their much longed-for kiss… watching as the woman's brows furrowed with want.

But there was yet more to give as Anna was the first to pull away and Elsa was the first person to see her turquoise eyes. They were still _so_ close, and Elsa didn't want to blink.

She could see it all - the crimson flush of Anna's cheek, her glistening lips marked by Elsa, the way her eyes twinkled with need… and, looking down, Anna still had her hand on the woman's lap.

Everything just felt _warm._

"Anna…" she mouthed, barely a whisper spelling out her name.

"I've been waiting for so long… I can't lose this. I can't lose _you_."

"Anna -" _Damn it…_

Out of breath, out of mind, and without words, Elsa's lips fell apart again with series of hushed pants as she felt the same soft pair of lips lay heavy kisses against the crook of her neck… and her mind drifted in the scent of the woman that laid flushed against her. Willingly, she did all that any women would do… and she accepted her wife's gentle, passionate treatment.

Having her hand perfectly wrapped around Anna's sharp shoulder as support, Elsa was relishing and reliving the dream of the redhead caressing her… lips making a home on her neck and shoulder like it was the last time this was going to happen. Her eyes… fluttered shut, and without an intruding thought, she allowed Anna to push her down… body against body, legs entwined between each other, skin prickling with each string of hot breath kissing her.

Her hands searched through her wife's hair… her small back, the side of her legs, but never once did she gather the courage to hold her. Never had she felt so hot, her desire aroused from its deep slumber just from simple kisses worshiping her neck. Admittedly, it felt so _good..._

A gentle song of moans and sighs were drenched with _want_ , and all Elsa could hear was the satisfaction that Anna was getting from this… from strumming Elsa like a toy. And she felt like a toy - suffocating and blessed with pleasure.

Finally, she grasped the collar of the loosely buttoned white shirt Anna was wearing. She eyed the white canvas of the ceiling, feeling a sharp knee pressed between her legs… feeling hands reaching for her body while they danced… and everything that had kissed her sensitive skin had placed Elsa in a land of dreams.

It _finally_ came to her that Anna was kissing her, hurried, rushed… but it was passionate, nonetheless. However much Elsa wanted this to be slow, she shared the blissful sighs, her thin fingers stroking Anna's hair, her body writhing in _need._ Her legs were bent and wrapped around her wife, and despite what she thought before, she could feel her own arousal pooling over her.

"Anna…" she croaked, and the only reply was a gentle stroke of Anna's tongue drawing up her neck to her jaw. Speechlessness had caught her bobbing throat, her head tilting up with a gasp… and she could barely remember the glow of Anna's teal eyes staring back at her.

" _I want you…_ " the redhead husked, the touch of her gentle lips against her own, drenched Elsa in the same desire.

Her hooded eyes, looking as submissive as they were to Anna, gleamed like the dim glow of the moonlight. She was resigning to patience, waiting… _waiting_ for Anna's next move, but a part of Elsa had fallen impatient. "Anna…"

"So I need you to shut up, and know that I want you. That I never stopped wanting you, _needing you_ …" lips pecked against the curved shell of her ear, her finger grazing her sharp jaw, "and I never stopped loving you…"

The drumming of her heart quickened with each word, dripping with desire, whispered to her. With every swallow, every little bob of her throat, she tasted remnants of Anna's honeyed taste. On the tip of her tongue, she could even taste the neediness in her words.

Her blue eyes were immersed in weakness, blending with a pool of crimson-colored passion. "Darling…"

"Hm…"

"You're drunk…" was her reply. And although her body expected cool air to meet her, she still continued to feel her wife's burning heat.

"I'm not drunk," she breathed, and only then… only when Elsa had placed her own hands to her own sides, Anna had sat up. The mess that she was, the desperation shown in the flush of her cheeks… Elsa adored it. She couldn't understand why she would be reluctant to take her wife in. For once… greed and love had taken over her own soul, and the only specks of familial care had been buried upon it.

It had been forever since she had last seen her wife sit on her lap like this - back arched… shirt sliding off one shoulder, copper strands descending down her eyes. Those eyes… no, Elsa had never seen that before. Adoration? Love? Heartbreak? It was none of those. Her brain, infused with the scent of her wife, scrambled to understand the dark shade in her pupils, but everything just felt _hot._

"Anna… I don't want to make another mistake."

" _Please._ " Her hand had grabbed Elsa's wrist, placing her spread palm upon the side of her smooth thigh.

"Anna -"

" _I need you."_ And while the gesture was small, the suggestiveness from the guiding touch and her plea was enough to make her nod. Deep down, she longed for the day Anna would say that… she longed for Anna's touch burning on her skin again… longed for the day Anna would look at her this way again. How cold would she be if she refused? _Would Meg have refused?_

"Touch me…" Anna emphasized into the thickness of the air, in a whisper that all Elsa knew was brimmed with need.

Eyeing the hand ushering on the back of her own, Elsa was deep in the realization that she had promised she would give Anna anything that she wanted. Nothing could hold them back… and nothing felt more special than knowing that Anna had encouraged her to _touch. A touch… just a single touch…_

And, despite her best effort of wanting to be proper… to be responsible for the betterment of Anna, a nagging part of her wanted to give her just that.

Biting her lip in contemplation, she eyed her wife's expression, so full of desperation and need for warmth - for a body to be against her own. With her heart skipping beats, Elsa realized… she didn't want her wife to be lonely anymore. She didn't want to be the one to catch those sorrowful tears anymore. Right now, all that was there for her was the sight of the lust in Anna's teal eyes… and how beautiful her body was sitting on top of her. She couldn't possibly refuse any longer.

"Okay… let's get us to bed."

* * *

 _a/n: ah... the moment we've all been waiting for..._


	33. Chapter 33: The Pinkest Heart

The walk up to the second floor was agonizingly slow, but it was just agonizing in general. For the first time in a long time, they held each other's hands, fingers entwined… and while the narrow stairs didn't allow them to walk side by side together, Elsa could feel those tender eyes watching her back.

It was nerve-wracking, really. It felt like this was going to be their first time. But Elsa remembered their first time - how confident they both were… how hot the air felt between them just minutes after they had fallen to bed, how they thirsted for each other's drunken touch.

She opened the door to their room, letting the moonlight drip through the thin white curtains. The wind was gentle and smooth, creeping through the gap of the glass window. Soon, the silence was disturbed by the click of the door meeting the frame, and they were alone. Together. Right against the door.

She stared at the bed as if it hadn't been there before . It was no surprise that Anna did the same. Only when she noticed out of the corner of her eye that Anna had glanced right at her did she turn to face her. In a desperate attempt to make this work, she wanted this to be as intimate, slow, and loving as she could possibly make this. Elsa smiled, feeling Anna's fingertips rub against her own.

The softness… the warmth… she wanted to experience _more._

"Anna…" she uttered.

The redhead was horrifyingly quiet. The _want_ that was shown through the dark flare of her eyes had rendered Elsa almost speechless.

"Anna, if you don't want to do this -"

" _I do."_

Elsa didn't have time to react. Hurried lips swiftly fit onto her own, fingers squeezing the blonde's waist. Shock streamed through her body like blood, and the heat in the air intensified like a storm… but it was such a lovely storm. While she wanted to sound out the pleasure and the surprise in the deep silence, Anna had gotten impatient.

One push, and Elsa had stumbled back to the bed, the soft surface of the comforter easing her fall, lips still interlocked heatedly. Registering what she was doing was near impossible, but she relished the honeyed taste of Anna's lips matching her own, the touches that were searching her body… and the way that body was dancing on her own on top of her.

Soft fingers drummed in the slightest manner on her jaw… and Elsa allowed it, exhaling as their lips continued their dance.

She was blinded by the touches… drugged into the addiction that was Anna, and never once had she thought of letting this go now. Or ever. And when she felt those eager fingers slipping under her shirt, all she let out was a gasp. Her fluttering eyelids peeled open like a present, and she eyed the redhead.

There, her wife smiled as she sat up on her knees, Elsa laid between them. The glow in Anna's eyes was absolutely stunning, and Elsa had drenched herself with it. "May I?"

 _She's asking me that now?_ Her gaze drifted down to the tip of Anna's fingers playing with the hem of Elsa's shirt. Everything… and any reasoning had been pushed away, and all Elsa needed right now was relief from this _heat._

It was hard to swallow, and the other thing that was even harder to get down was the fact Anna was sitting right on top of her, waiting in patience. Knowingly, Elsa decided patience was overrated… and they needed something to quench their thirst. They needed the intimacy, to steer clear of their own feelings, to know… that they would always need each other.

Licking her bottom lip, she observed her wife - still glowing with the nightly moon - and, oh, she missed seeing her slender neck… she missed the small gap that those ravishing lips presented. She had had enough of all the gawking and teasing.

With one hand, with her courage… she ran her spread fingers and palm up Anna's bare thigh, enticing her wife to let out small breathy noises.

" _Elsa…"_

The same pale hand held her moving wrist, another coming to hold the chest area of her shirt. This wasn't going to do.

"Why don't we lay down correctly?" she husked, shifting herself closer to the center of the bed.

Anna made to oblige but yelped in surprise when Elsa took her wrist and waist, tossed her wife harshly onto the sheets.

Wide-eyed, Anna glanced at the thin fingers grasping her wrist. Anna's eyes softened at the sight of Elsa hovering above her.

The blonde's immediate reaction should have been confusion because of how impulsive she realized she was… but there was no such thing. With much love and an intense fire slowly erupting inside of her, she eyed her wife who looked almost just like a barbie doll due to her beauty. The silence was deafening, but through it all… the gleam of their eyes continued to admire each other.

With loose light hair draping over her face, she allowed Anna to swipe them back.

She smiled. "Have you closed the door?" Elsa questioned, her body leaned flushed against Anna. She released her grasp… only to drum the pad of her fingers on Anna's veins. Still… Anna had been running her own fingers through her thick hair.

"Yeah… I closed the door."  
 _Closer._ Her trembling lips traced Anna's, her eyelids fluttered half-closed. The intensity was more than welcoming, and she dared to drown into the euphoria. "Have you locked it?" she hushed, feeling only a breathy mewl edge out of her wife's lips.

Anna hitched her breath, "I don't know…"

 _Closer._

"Well, then, just make you sure you keep yourself quiet, alright?" Her fingers were making agonizingly slow work of unbuttoning her wife's shirt. One by one… she could feel the softness of Anna's bosom pressed against her own, the stiffness - and the small drumming - of Anna's stomach joined with her open palm as the shirt revealed all of her wife's glory.  
" _Elsa…"_ was her only moan. To much of Elsa's amusement, they had barely started.

And with a smile on her face, she distanced herself a bit to admire… well, the beautiful mess that was her wife. Flushed cheeks, wet lips, tousled hair, and the bobbing of Anna's throat every time she swallowed - it was everything and all that Elsa wanted.

"Shh, shh, shh…" she hushed, leaning back down to gift Anna the most rousing kiss, letting her fingers dance on the edge of her jaw. _Maybe she has more freckles now…?_ "I've got you… Tonight," her lips nudged against the shell of Anna's reddened ear, "tonight is about you. I don't want you doing anything… I just want to give you everything that you want. All you have to do… is accept it. Will you accept it?"

How could Anna simply resist? "Yes," came a quick, quiet reply.

And it was then, Elsa took the freeing chance to send Anna to the seventh heaven. Gazing back into Anna's eyes, she allowed herself to take in that sight as a remembrance. No words needed to be said, so Elsa got out of her chains, immediately ravishing Anna's lips with her own. The kiss deepened with hunger. Her hand wasn't so gentle anymore, greedily taking her waist and her slender neck between her fingers.

The moans… the writhing… the way Anna had desperately draped her arms over her shoulders was a reminder of how _good_ this always felt with her.

The tip of her eager tongue delved into Anna's mouth, wasting no time to sample her sweetness and to catch the whimpers that fell out of her wife's lips.

Her wandering fingers drummed gingerly in a generous up and down pattern… each and every time, teasing the underside of Anna's soft naked bosom. It was wonderful to touch… and it was even more stunning to hear those simple gasps and mewls. And Elsa… wanted to entice _more._

Softly, in the heated silence, her lips worshiped her wife's sharp jaw, her slender neck… her hallow collarbone. Her eyelids were fluttered closed, and she didn't need to see to understand what Anna needed… to know that Anna was more than just enjoying this. It was near impossible to keep the redhead still.

And slowly, with each kiss stacked one atop of the other… she was met with Anna's heaving chest the more she slid down. A specific whimper drowned every little noise her lips were making, and she opened her eyes. It was a sight to behold. Tears… were escaping Anna's eyes, a finger bitten right between her teeth. It was beautiful, and Elsa… wouldn't do a thing to disturb that.

She tasked herself with adoring Anna's chest. Her hand slowly came to delicately tease her already-erected bud, the pad of her fingers running circles around the pink tip. With no bother, with no other delay, and with delight, she wrapped the other with her pair of soft lips.

" _Fuck…"_ The redhead's expression had quickly twisted in desperation, her head tipped to the ceiling, her legs… simply squirming about. The sight was absolutely glorious… seeing the night was also dancing with her… seeing how Anna had pressed an arm against her lips to cover the agonizing moans. Oh… if anything, this surely would be agonizing for her.

Elsa made no attempts to stop as the flat of her tongue and fingers toyed around the two nubs. Her other hand occupied itself to hold Anna's waist to keep her down - as if she would be taken into the heavens, of course.

"Mm…" a gentle moan combated Anna's desperation… and, instead of being desperate, herself, Elsa found pleasure in just relaxing. This was where she wanted to be. This was where she was supposed to be…

" _Elsa, please…"_

The two simple cries ignited the fire inside Elsa even more. Her heart, once gently beating to concentrate on Anna's need, was pumping. Her lips and tongue were so filled with Anna's breast that it was enough to spur Elsa's desire even more. Enough that Elsa's gentle kisses abandoned her lovely heaving bosom and began to travel down her flat stomach.

And Elsa worshipped her like a goddess… sending slow wet kisses right down Anna's flat stomach. The view up top from below was a complete wonderment, disregarding how Anna had spread her legs for her. All she could see - the only thing that she only wished to see - was the contentment on her perfect wife's face. _When was the last time I've ever seen that…?_

Only then… only when she had met with the small navel, Elsa had pulled away. Her right hand gently stroked her wife's strong thigh, guiding the heel of Anna's foot against her back. The thirst and hunger had taken themselves home in Elsa's soul and body… and while she wished to always glance at Anna's expressive face, her eyes were taken to the covered aperture. Or so she thought.

She was a bit amused, cocking an eyebrow up. She caressed her wife's inner thigh, pressing her thumbs into her skin. "Anna, you didn't wear shorts…?"

Anna's cheeks reddened, throwing an arm over her head out of embarrassment. "You didn't give me shorts…"

"No… underwear?"

"I-It was dirty and I didn't want to wear it -"

Elsa tried her best to stiffen a laugh, pressing a finger against her lips.

"H-Hey," embarrassed, Anna shot right up - and, for both of them, the position was just as ridiculous with Elsa nearly kneeling on the edge of the bed and Anna having to sit up and confront her wife so closely, "I hear you laughing! You don't get to laugh!"

"Oh, Anna… I'm not laughing." She sighed, awarding a kiss on Anna's inner thigh. "Nobody would laugh about that. I just thought it was adorable."

Her lips jutted into a pout. "You know what, if you're really going to be like that, I don't want to do this any - _Mmm… Gods, Elsa… that's not fair…_ " Submissively, Anna had plopped back down to her original position with a whine.

Elsa's tantalizing palm dragged against her slicked slits… only, with just one swipe, Elsa was astonished at how damp it was. With a hitched breath, she dared to pull her hand away to admire the wetness of the throbbing core. Everything… looked exactly the same as it was - a pleasant coating of lubrication was painted between those shaking legs.

Her digits were drenched from the liquid pleasure… but all her eyes wanted to admire was the source. Staring at it wasn't going to do any good, and only then, only when she lowered her greedy self more for a closer look, Anna's scent easily presented itself to her. And it was all… _hers._

Entranced, Elsa continued to toy her finger against the erected bud, throbbing with arousal.

"S-Shit -" Anna quickly clapped a hand against her mouth, another began to grasp tightly on her wife's blonde strands. The single touch… coursed waves of dizzying pleasure down her spine, prompting the body to jerk and shrivel. "Mmm…" the woman whined… desperate, needy… but they all sounded just as lovely to Elsa.

 _I'm yours… I'm yours to do with…_

"Anna…" her mouth whispered. Slow fingers began to circle around the sensitive area, and a series of spasms replied to her. The thought occurred… that, perhaps, sex with anyone else for Anna was never that good and never that exciting. Serving Anna… was a pleasure on its own.

And, maybe, the scent was dulling her senses - an addiction that never escaped Elsa's head - so the more she continued to take it in… the more she was obliged to serve her lover even more. That never sounded bad… it was never ever bad.

Dazed, she glanced back to the throbbing core. It looked… _needy. Hopeless. Impatient._ And Elsa… was obliged to give it the most pleasure. In turn, she would love to have nothing more than to taste her lover… to finally indulge herself back to where she belonged - to _her._

In silence, taking another glance, the closer she got… the more enticed she felt. Heart pounding, body numbing… but it wasn't stopping the flat of her tongue sailing up between her wet slits eagerly.

The sudden action caused Anna to throw her head way back, two hands grabbing her wife's head. "O-Oh God, please -"

For Elsa, the familiar taste had quickly traveled down her spine to her core. _It was good. It felt nice. It tasted like… her._ She shivered, sighing and trembling at the taste... and she was more than willing to do this all night. Exhaustion tonight… was not going to be known in her dictionary.

Unable to wait any longer, she indulged herself once more with hunger, widening her jaw only to clamp her lips around the sensitive bud.

"Fuck, Elsa!"

"Mm…" She shut her eyes. Her two hands fastened themselves around Anna's thighs, making sure they didn't clamp against the blonde's head… and she continued to lap with greed and restlessness at her wife's dripping core, but the focus… was always on her nub. And if she could get any closer, she would… but she was as close as she could get, pressing her opened lips right against the hot vulva, her tongue lapping up all the sweetness that was given to her.

The wet noises didn't bother her - she wanted Anna to hear it… she wanted this to bring her wife to the wondrous peak. And Elsa… thoroughly enjoyed being messy with her wife. Always. Her chin was practically dripping with her wife's lubrication, after all.

She moaned, singing with her lover, sounding like the most blissful person between the two. But once she had opened her eyes - and she continued to leave them open - Anna was absolutely _done._

Her two fingers slowly began to probe her wife's gaping entrance, intruding right in. The tight walls greeted those fingers with eagerness, and Anna… greeted her wife with a simple whine of " _fuck me"_.

Back arching… red hair sticking to flushed, sweaty skin… fingers searching for purchase… and the sight of hopelessness were all engraved in Elsa's brain. Her thick tongue continued to make quick wet works against her hardened clit, soliciting more of those delicious moans, more of Anna… more of her _honey_. She hummed as Anna had dragged her fingers through her hair, her breathing growing heavier and rushed -

" _Oh, you feel so good…"_

Inwardly, Elsa smirked. Steadily, her two snugged fingers began to drag along Anna's walls. Those fingers were, naturally, expectedly soaked in liquid pleasure.

And it was then… a satisfied sigh was dragged out of her luscious lips, her hip began to thrust against Elsa. Those turquoise eyes gleamed with lust when eyeing Elsa, and all together, without even saying a word… Elsa knew Anna wanted her to have her. More. _More._

Anna was grinding herself on her wife's mouth with desperation… and Elsa willingly took it, encouraged, and loved. In return, Anna was moaning and gasping into the heavens like she had lost the ability to breathe in exchange for relief. And Elsa could feel it.

She immediately popped her lips away from the engorged clit, and the movement of her fingers began to hasten even more.

"E-Elsa -"

Elsa instantly came right back up, her hand slapped against her wife's mouth.

"Shh," she hushed with urgency, feeling the anguished whimpers and whines vibrating on her fingers. _Faster now…_ and that was what her fingers did - tapping and stroking the single spot hidden behind those tight walls. It was over.

Wide-eyed from the suddenly dozens of electrifying jolts - Anna's back began to arch, her legs thrashing… fingers searching the blanket and Elsa's back to clutch. And Elsa just watched in adoration. She watched the desperation… she watched as Anna fell apart under her… she watched as the pleasure overwhelmed every part of her muscles and soul… and those tears continued to squeeze out of Anna's shut eyes.

"Don't be too loud, someone is sleeping right next door, baby," she whispered. It was of little help.

" _Mm- MMM!"_

And that was it. Admiration filled the blonde's expression as Anna's body continued to writhe and jerk, like a fish out of the water just for her. Those tightening walls gush out even more liquid pleasure, and all she could hear was the bedsheets tearing. Thankful to herself, Anna's moans and screams were muffled immediately against Elsa's palm, as tormenting it seemed to be.

Wide-eyed, Elsa showed nothing but amusement and interest… and it seemed like minutes had passed since Anna had had the most explosive and satisfying relief. And when those moans had waned, replaced with the heavy beating of Anna's heart drumming against her chest and her breathing rushed and heavy… Elsa removed her hand from Anna's flushed face.

Her wet fingers slowly pulled out from the satisfied core. With every move, Anna's body was still pulsing for Elsa.

Of course, for a whole minute, the redhead was completely dazed, her eyes gazing at the ceiling, her arms completely dropped to her sides. All Elsa could cherish was the thought that she was able to give Anna all of this.

"Beautiful?" Elsa caught the redhead's abandoned tears, lips kissing her jaw. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah…"

She turned to the torn bed sheets, sighing. "That must have been pretty intense."

"You think?" Anna let out a long breath, following a chuckle. She shook her head in disbelief. "God, that was amazing…"

"Well, it has been a while." Her eyes were still unmoved, watching Anna make an effort to wrap her arm around Elsa's shoulders. Deciding her comfort right now would be Anna's chest, Elsa leaned her head against it. The fast beating of Anna's heart was making her giggle.

"You really… are adamant about not letting me moan," the redhead muttered.

Elsa cocked an eyebrow. "Olaf is sleeping. You certainly don't want him to wake up and see me between your legs like that and you screaming like death is coming. Pun intended."

"Hey, I made _certain_ the door was locked." She paused, circling a gentle finger on Elsa's shoulder. "I think."

"Well, we can see about that tomorrow -"

"Let me return the favor as well."

The woman blinked. "Anna, you don't have to -"

"Oh, you think _I'm_ going to just move?" She clicked her tongue playfully. "I'm not moving. You are."

"I am." She raised her eyebrow.

"Yep. Er…" Teal eyes gazed right behind Elsa's shoulder to the closet. "Do you… still have that strap-on?"

 _More curious now._ She slowly sat herself up, giving her wife the opportunity to drag herself towards the wooden headboard. Promptly, Anna had made herself a makeshift headrest against the headboard with the pillows. And Elsa… wracked her brain wondering what her wife was up to. "I… thought you were tired."

"I am," she laid her legs just slightly open, her hand resting behind her head, "I just…" On a more serious note, the woman's expression fell. Her hand traveled down in search for Elsa's. Her gentle smile was not only overflowing with love, but the desire that they craved from each other was also born again. The blonde… was completely drawn to it like a magnet. And with a sigh, Anna continued, "I… wanted to see how you would move for me. I wanted to be reminded of why I even fell in love with you."

Her breath, slow and steady, had been taken away. If she could hear those words again, she would… and she wanted it. So she was going to have it.

Steadily, on all fours, she climbed up to her wife… finding tender fingers entangled in her own hair… finding them loosening those light strands from the weaving braid. She relished the touch of Anna's fingers pushing back those distracting fringes… but, on the outside, she was still unfazed.

"What would you have me do?" she breathed.

"You know what I want you to do…" was Anna's reply, and all those words that were uttered out… echoed in Elsa's mind like a recorder. How could Elsa refuse? Those eyes were overwhelmed with expectations and desires - one that Elsa hadn't seen in forever, and all she wished for was for Anna to look at her like that, and only like that. And she was going to do all the things that would bring Anna her blissfulness.

Biting her own lip, she slowly backed out of the bed. Teal eyes continued to follow her all the way - and the blonde could even feel them ogling at her clothed back as she turned. Elsa… adored the attention - always adored it, even if she was only opening the closet door.

In it, was another cabinet. If memories served, the toy made itself home in the lowest section. She hadn't used it in a while.

Not surprisingly, Elsa felt a warm flush painting over her cheeks as she opened the drawer and held the blue toy in her hand with a small bottle of lubrication between her fingers.

Her eyebrow arched again as she turned and strode back to the bed. Anna… was definitely not embarrassed at all. In fact, the amusement in the gleam of her eyes had quickly loosened Elsa up as well.

"So… you really aren't going to move, are you?" She swiped her fingers through her hair, pushing the isolated strands back.

"Nope," was Anna's convinced reply. Elsa was already taking off her pants.

Scoffing in disbelief - although, not that Elsa wasn't willing - she kneeled on the mattress, with Anna between her bare legs. Their eyes never strayed away from each other, and as if Anna expected her wife to strip, she smirked in compliance.

One by one, in the dense silence, Elsa unbuttoned her shirt… and with each button that had pulled the shirt apart, she could see how hypnotized her wife was. _Is she even going to be ready for what's going to happen?_ Elsa nearly burst into a peal of hefty laughter, but she remained as calm as water.

And they never once took an eye off each other… because Elsa yearned for the attention. She adored the way Anna's expression showed appreciation to her body.

Her shirt slowly bared her sharp shoulders, the center of her full chest… her flat pale stomach… her long legs.. and they were all for Anna. Elsa tilted her head to the side, letting the soft fabrics shed down her arms. And, finally, in all her glory, she grabbed Anna's hand and placed it right on her breast.

"Did you forget how that felt?" she uttered, making sure a sure squeeze of those fingers dug on her chest.

"No," Anna replied. Even when bare, all the redhead was looking at were her sultry eyes.

She leaned in - making sure that Anna's leg was pressed right between her own warmth - letting their lips glide against one another, letting… her own chest pinned against Anna's hand. Her hooded eyes showed nothing but want… _need… selfishness._ "Would you like more of that? To have me… to have us make love… _fuck_ like we used to?"

"Of course."

Smiling, in the most sultry manner, she boldly licked her wife's lips. Her own searching hand managed to grab Anna's other hand… and with a little guidance, she laid those fingers under her panties. Shivers quickly traveled down her spine in the realization that she was completely _soaked._ "Anna…" she moaned, lips trembling open… and while she could feel the stillness of her wife's hand between her legs, all she paid attention to was the burning fire in Anna's eyes.

"God, baby…" Anna gasped, her breathing quickening, eyebrows furrowed. "You're drenched…"

The blonde barely presented a smile. "I told you, it's been too long." She shifted her eyes to the phallus and took it in her hand. Although she felt like she could just explode any moment, she raised her eyebrow at Anna. "I'm going to put it on you, okay?"

The redhead merely nodded, pulling her soaked hand out with permission. Elsa didn't mind the fact that Anna was just staring at her fingers and palm in such an attentive manner - she realized how… fucking sexy it was to see her admiring the sweat painted on her skin.

Drifting herself down, she made sure Anna's hips were lifted before strapping the harness on, the decently sized toy springing upright.

She gulped her throat dry, staring at it. It wasn't so foreign to her… she just hadn't used it in a while so it was a little unnerving. She noticed her wife had shifted her attention to the tightness down below… and their eyes met.

"Could you… take off your panties?" Anna asked.

And as silent, as she could be, she did just that, throwing the flimsy cloth to the floor.

"Wow…"

 _Oh, she likes it._ Elsa smirked, completely entertained. With her thumb, she popped open the cap of the bottles lube and squeezed just a bit on the tip of the plastic head. "Wow?"

"Mm…" the redhead cocked her head to one side, her hand reaching to pat through Elsa's hair. She always liked that… always liked the sight of Elsa doing things like this during sex. "It's just... you always look more beautiful the older you get…"

She chortled in response, and in such a nonchalant manner, her fingers closing around the thickness of the shaft. "I hope that wasn't an insult."

Steadily, with taunting eyes gazing at her wife, her hand began to stroke the toy. Gentle… not too fast… not too slow… because all she wanted was to give Anna a little show.

Expectedly, Anna's breath hitched. With each gentle stroke dragging in repetition, her gleaming eyes followed, and Elsa _wanted_ it.

"That… was definitely not an insult…" Anna mumbled.

The blonde continued to keep a close eye on her wife, and when she felt that the toy was thoroughly covered with the gel, she stood on her knees with anticipation. Unmoved, she guided the toy right under her spread legs, her body towering over her wife… and it wasn't just dominance that she wanted - she wanted to give her beautiful woman a glorious sight - back arched, strong legs spread open, hand in her hair, breasts jutting out… _She'd like that._

With the radiating blue shine in her eyes, cheeks burning with enthusiasm and lust, she allowed her wife's hand to explore her body - trailing from the muscle of her thigh, her hip, waist, and finally, made itself home by drumming her fingers on Elsa's ribs.

"Shh…" Elsa hushed, feeling the strands of her own hair brushing on her lower back. "It's all you… this all for you…"

"Me…?"

She lowered herself slowly, her one hand pressed flush against Anna's stomach. Though, still wanting to tease her wife a little more, her hips began to roll with fluidity, her wet slits dragging up and down on the underside of the phallus. The pleasure had never felt so overwhelming… so delightful. And so she continued to dance on top of Anna… grinding against the toy like the horny college girl she used to be - letting out simple soft moans.

And all she needed was her wife's attention… her hand holding her without any other movement.

" _Hah_ …" she let out, tilting her head back, lips spread open. But she continued to take her time, drawing the pleasure out… making sure with every drag down, her sensitive clit would meet with the surface.

The heavy breathing sounded even louder, hot air spreading around them. And in the midst of all of this… Elsa was in her own filthy world, grinding her own aroused flower and wetness on a toy, making sure that every bit of her was for Anna to see and enjoy.

She moaned even more, dragging her fingers through her own hair. " _Anna…_ "

The hand on her ribs slowly held her full breast. _God, I'm enjoying this too much…_ "Elsa… God, you're so beautiful…"

The woman couldn't help but chuckle through the moans. For something as simple as that, it was the greatest compliment. She gradually slowed her movements and dropped her head back down, chest heaving. She didn't need to say anything - her eyes said it all… and her hands said _more._

With one hand, she grabbed the phallus, the tip stroking between her lower lips, and all Elsa could do was smile confidently, moaning freely…

She knew Anna was completely engrossed and enticed. And she wasn't going to waste any more time. Guiding the round tip against her core, Elsa slowly lowered herself just part way. And even part way, she was whining like a madwoman, her eyes rolled completely back as pleasure overtook her soul.

" _Oh god…_ " she let out, facing the ceiling once again. Her legs trembled, toes curling, but she needed more. Anna was watching.

With just a few grinds, Elsa continued to huff rushed breathes, lowering her head to gaze at her swollen and burning parts before lowering herself even more so that she was completely sitting on her woman, her walls clenched tightly around the toy.

She bit her lip, staying still for a moment. Her chest expanded again with a breath.

"Is it... okay?" Anna whispered. "Am I hurting you?"

Elsa pressed her hand flat against her wife's abdomen. "No… not at all…" she slowly began to rock and thrust her hip, " _fuck… oh,_ not at all -"

"God, Elsa, you're so fucking hot…"

Up and down Elsa bounced, grinding her own burning nether region with such sensuality and vigor on the toy. She let out a series of gasps, bending herself towards Anna, and she completely disregarded the strands falling over her eyes. All she wanted was to fall apart with Anna. For Anna.

With her luscious lips unfolded, she leered at her wife, who showed such love and devotion.

" _Anna…"_ she gasped, the bed creaked, raising her hips only to slam back down on her wife's lower body, and she couldn't stop. She wasn't going to stop. It felt too good. It felt too real.

The blonde could barely keep her eyes open as pleasure coursed through her arched spine and her tightening walls, but she could feel Anna's hand lowering to wrap around her waist.

" _Oh… M-Mm… Anna, fuck me…"_ Those slurred words sounded between her whines, feeling the glistening lubrication trailing down her thighs. Perfection wasn't doing this situation any justice, and neither was it doing Anna's adoring expression any justice either. The redhead gaped at her, but paying no mind, Elsa continued to drench her heated sex with pleasure.

"Anna," she began again, this time… lowering herself to lean against her wife, bosom against bosom. Her lower half continue to make precious love with the toy. "I want you… I want you badly, I want you to fuck me…"

With lips brushing on Elsa's, having hands search those freckle-covered shoulders and cheeks… those blue eyes darkening in a certain _need_ , Anna quickly accepted Elsa's request.

" _Oh, J-Jesus -"_ Eyes widened and rolled back, lips trembling open, Elsa felt like her whole world had been rocked to the heavens as Anna thrust her hip sharply to meet Elsa's in repetition. With each breath she could barely take in, Anna had already forced the toy into her repeatedly, and each time, all Elsa could hear were her wife's little grunts.

She groaned, biting her lip as she lowered her head, forehead touching one another. Nails dug into her skin as Anna had slowly taken the chance to grasp her fear. _God, it's so hot_. And it was getting too hot, having to hold down her screams.

"Look at me," Anna husked, continuing to vigorously rock herself against the blonde. And Elsa looked, of course, brushing their nose and lips together. "I want you to come… I want you to come while you're on me. Feel me. Look at me."

"Anna… Mm…" That was it. "Oh God - "

A white-hot flash coursed through and shook Elsa's body like tidal waves. Her screams, as she wanted to let out, had been completely muffled by Anna's sudden deepening kiss, her tongue drowning every bit of whimpers and whine. The tenseness of all her muscles, with each second passing, tightened more and more until her toes and fingers were curling, her back expanding. But she couldn't stop grinding herself on Anna.

The taste of her wife's tongue coated her own. But Anna had stopped moving… and while the wave had finally passed through what seemed like a minute, Elsa also relaxed and stilled.

The intensity of the kiss even softened to slow and tender pecks. Fingers ran through each other's hair… but Elsa's special spot was running her fingers along her wife's cute freckles and jawline. Humming with eyes closed, with one last kiss, she pulled back slightly. Their nose bumped together, prompting a soft giggle from the blonde. Anna… was obviously still entranced by the addictive sweetness of the kiss, but there was plenty of that next time. Elsa knew for sure.

'Hey… get back here, and let me kiss you," Anna whispered, puckering her lips.

"Oh…" she sighed, running her knuckles below the redhead's eyes. "I hope you really aren't drunk, Anna…"

"Does it matter? It felt good." Her arms dropped lazily to her sides. "Oh, it felt amazingly good."

Smiling silently, Elsa slowly pulled herself off from the used toy - discarding it to the ground.

Laid side by side together, pulling the blanket above them, Elsa wrapped herself around her wife - her leg wrapped around Anna's thin waist - just like they used to.

Glancing at her, Elsa noticed her wife was staring back at her as well. The jolly smile Anna had was replaced with such a stern face. Under the cover, she felt Anna's hand placed atop of hers, squeezing her. Right now… all Elsa knew was the seriousness of their situation and relationship right now.

"Elsa…"

"Hm?"

"I hope I didn't force you into anything. I… I realize what happened today shouldn't have ended like this."

"Why do you think that?"

Anna pursed her lips together. "I don't want you to think that I was… I was doing this because I felt lonely. That I only did this because… b-because -"

"You wanted to forget about everything, I know. Am I correct?"

Anna remained silent, only prompting a stressed sigh from Elsa. With her free hand, she placed it atop of Anna's pounding chest.

"I know how you feel. I know what you think. No matter why you wanted to do this… my reason is that I love you. That I will always still love you. That's all that matters. I'm… sorry for my selfishness, and I know I can't take back what I did… but I'm here with you. Until death do us part, right?"

Her wife nodded, slowly painting her very own smile on her face, no matter how small. Elsa had to be satisfied. "Thank you for tonight."

Leaning in, with her fingers caressing Anna's jaw, she kissed her wife's tender lips once more. There was no better place they would love to be other than in each other's arms… and Elsa couldn't help but embrace Anna with the most gentle kinds of love. With one final kiss pecked on her, she gazed into Anna's precious eyes - just as insecure and uncertain as ever, but that was okay. It was alright. Elsa wanted that - to cherish that… and soon after, perhaps, she could heal it.

"Welcome home, sweetheart."

* * *

 _a/n: finally amirite? :)_


	34. Chapter 34: Learned to Love Again

Anna had been cherishing the tranquility the moment she had woken up. The fact that she was able to open her eyes without feeling dread coursing through her veins while the sun warmly painted her skin was something she never thought she would experience again. The thought never occurred to Anna that having someone's arms wrapped around her body… feeling the remnant of that warmth still dyed on her skin would make her stop questioning all of her own actions. But it happened.

Was she glad that it happened, she wasn't sure, because it felt like she had just experienced whiplash from all the intensity she had been feeling. Finally, she questioned her own actions.

Waking up, the first thing she saw was the stretched shadows of birds sitting on the balcony through the thin curtains. Their songs blessed Anna's ears… and the first thing she felt was someone's breath on her back. Someone's arms wrapped around her waist. _Someone_. And then, after a short while, emptiness. That _someone_ had gotten up early. The realization had struck her… that she was back home again. That her wife… had made love to her.

Oh God.

Anna could barely turn, having her fingers placed against her mouth to stifle her crying. Though, the most obvious sight - if anyone was looking - was her shoulders trembling. She shut her eyes, blanket clenched to her chest, remembering the light kisses placed on her shoulders that morning when her wife had awoken. Remembering the way Elsa had ran her fingers through Anna's hair… remembering how she whispered, 'good morning, I'll let you sleep a bit more', to her. She loved it. She loved every part of it… but why did it hurt so badly?

She let out a trembling breath as tears rested upon her eyes, but was quickly startled when she heard footsteps trudging up the stairs and the door creaking open.

"Anna, sweetheart, it's time for breakfast -"

Immediately - no hesitation - Anna turned her attention to the blonde. As hurt as she was… she also took comfort in the fact that she could always be raw and open to Elsa. The moment she noticed Elsa's eyes widening, only to soften a moment later, Anna looked away.

"Anna… oh, baby," the blonde sighed, slowly stepping closer to Anna's side of the bed. Sitting down, the woman rubbed her hand on Anna's shoulder. Those attentive eyes that Anna was seeing… showed the utmost care and genuine worry, and yet, Anna wasn't sure how to respond to that, other than to weep.

The redhead curled her body in a ball, only allowing the blanket to cover her whole… but did it matter anymore? Elsa was her wife… and Elsa, she knew, was willing to take care of her. _But do I deserve it?_

"Anna, what's wrong?" Elsa first asked.

"We…" Anna placed a finger between her teeth, vision blurred as she stared at her feet. "God, we… we had sex…"

"Anna…"

"Why did I do that…? Why did I let you?" she questioned, hurt and confused... but beyond that, she felt joy - and it was joy that she never imagined having. It felt like she had been freed, and it was something that she just wasn't _used_ to feeling. She glanced at her wife for a moment, expecting the same hurtful gaze, but all she saw was perfect warmth in her eyes.

Suddenly, she didn't feel the need to avoid her… suddenly, she didn't feel the need of wanting to push Elsa's touch away. Suddenly, she knew Elsa's feelings were honest and truthful.

"Anna…" the woman shifted closer, her hand, this time, running through Anna's hair, "I just wanted you to be happy. I know you have a lot on your mind. I know… you still have crumbs to pick up, but I will help you. I wanted to show you how much I love you, and I know you did as well. It may not have been the best way, I know. And I know how much in chaos your mind is in right now, but I'm here for you…"

"Elsa, we fucked…" Exasperated, she squinted.

"And if that hurt you, I'm sorry." Elsa looked down to her lap in shame, her fingers squeezing Anna's shoulder once before letting go. "I'll get out of your hair right now -"

"No -" Anna quickly grasped Elsa's wrist. "No, please… I don't want you running away again. I just… I missed you."

The silence, warm and nostalgic, felt quite nice when it was just the two of them… when Elsa's frowning lips softened into a smile. From there, from just laying in bed, watching the sunlight drench her wife's back, she noticed how angelic and how much more beautiful Elsa was. Seriously, perhaps it was true, people really could appreciate beauty the older they were. And Anna very much appreciated how soft Elsa had gotten these past few months.

The hand on Elsa's wrist fell to hold those fingers. And with much effort, Anna barely smiled. "I… I don't know how I'm feeling. I just broke up with her…"

"I know."

"And I made love to you hours after what happened, and… I'm not sure if I was incredibly drunk or if I was just lonely… I-I'm so confused." She sighed, dropping her head down in shame.

"Anna, do you love me?"

"What?" The redhead, shifting her attention back to Elsa, caught the seriousness in her wife's expression. "Of… Of course I love you."

"Then that's all you need to think about. That's all you need to know." She paused, and Anna relished the feeling of when Elsa slowly joined their lips together. Surely, it was a small kiss, but it was the most _familiar_ and most forgiving kiss she had shared with her wife. Having her eyes fluttered closed for a moment before opening, all she saw was the joy in Elsa's eyes and smile.

The blonde ran her fingers on her freckles. "I know you have a lot to think about. I'm here for you."

"What about Meg…?" Anna responded. It was a nagging thought, and while she knew Elsa didn't like the sound of that purely based on the way Elsa had looked away - whether in contemplation or jealousy, Anna still waited for an answer. Anything would do. Anything that would bring them closure.

"Meg… can be dealt with later."

"I… how can I face her? Ever?"

"Please, why don't you head down and enjoy breakfast, hm? Your son is downstairs -"

"Elsa, answer me. _Please._ Give me something. I-I… I don't know what to do."

Of course, once Anna saw her wife closing her eyes and sighing, she knew this Elsa didn't have the answers Anna was looking for. Or perhaps, that she even needed. Their small exchange of glances led to her wife's fingers running gently through her hair, and lips pressed on her forehead. Anna didn't mind it - her heart raced more than she'd ever thought - maybe even more than when she first fell in love with Elsa. Still, a bit disappointed by the silence that answered her, Anna just simply took that as a no.

"Beautiful, don't worry about that now," Elsa replied, softly spoken as ever. "I just want to see you smile again. I know you're worried, so I'll take Olaf to school today and you can stay home. How does that sound?"

She didn't like that idea at all, but what choice did she have if she was this scared of seeing Meg again? Biting her lip, eyes avoiding the only woman that seemed to care for her, she reluctantly nodded.

"Anna, I need to hear it from you. Hm? What do you say?" Elsa pressed their forehead together, bright eyes gleaming with comfort for Anna. And Anna… really did feel comforted and safe from the warmth of her wife's expression.

Trying to mirror the same smile, Anna answered, "Yeah."

"Good. Now, come, let's eat breakfast. Get yourself cleaned up alright?" With one last kiss on Anna's forehead and lips, her eyes followed when the blonde had gotten up and strolled down to the first floor.

Anna tried not to think about it, but it was so hard not to when she was all alone in the bathroom, in the shower. She had always thought she was a coward, herself. How she had no spine, no dignity, no shame… because the divorce had impacted her so much that any type of rejection meant that Anna had to accept it… and Anna should never be arguing against it. Meg was right - everything that she had said was right, and even if Anna wanted to think that she had a spine and could stand up for herself, Meg still had some truth behind her words. Or else… Anna wouldn't have even lasted this long without her.

 _Still… we never lasted anyway._

But maybe Elsa was right in that she shouldn't be thinking too much. Even if Elsa wasn't here to hear the whole argument, even she knew anger would lead to irrationality… and that was why Meg felt this certain way. Oh, as if Anna could ever take any of this back though. She couldn't. Not after last night.

Coming out of the bathroom, she slowly strode down the stairs, refreshed and cleaned. The only thing she looked forward to seeing was her family.

The moment her feet had reached the first floor, smaller footsteps rapidly came running right towards her with eagerness. "Mama!"

Completely startled by the soft impact of a small body meeting her own, Anna's brightly lit face came back alive. She chuckled, draping her arms around the little guy, kisses gifted all over the boy's chubby cheeks. "Oh, buddy, good morning. Sorry I came out so late."

His little feet gradually started to hop up and down, prompting his fluffy blond hair to go with the motion as well. "Mama, heh, you're home. Oh my gosh, you're home!"

"Yes, yes, I'm home." Getting up, she quickly put Olaf in her arms and lifted him up high to her shoulders. "I didn't know my little monkey could be that excited for me to be here!"

Her eyes quickly met with Elsa's as the blonde quietly got their breakfast ready. Though, nothing could wipe that smile off Elsa's face, and Anna was willing to keep this up for a little longer. _We're a happy little family again, I see._

The boy giggled, placing his hands around Anna's neck for support. "Mama, I missed ya so much! When did you get home? Are you gonna stay? Do you have clothes? Did Mom agree to let you stay?"

"Yesterday night, yes, yes, and yes. Wow, buddy, you're going to exhaust your mother this early in the morning?"

He gasped. "Whah… Mama, you're really staying?"

Anna merely kept silent, keeping her eyes on Elsa, as if asking for permission to answer Olaf correctly. She sat the boy down in his seat and sat right across. Elsa eventually joined them, and while Anna still waited for Elsa to answer that question with her, she felt a bold hand taking hers, and holding it right on the table. Oh, Anna just felt so much love in her heart, knowing that Elsa was willingly talking her hand, had kissed her, and was loving her.

Olaf immediately let out another hitch of breath, his hand, almost dramatically, placed on his small chest. "M-Mom? Mama?"

The blonde gently smiled. "Mama and I… decided to get back together."

"R-Really?!" he exclaimed, nearly falling out of his seat as he continued to energetically jump up and down. "Mama, you're back?!"

The mother nodded, her lips pursed into the most wonderful, the happiest grin - maybe one of the happiest since all these terrible months.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh…" Olaf giggled, and it was like… the emotions were too much for him, that the moment Anna was about to say something, she stopped at the sight of Olaf's head lowered down, the back of his tiny hands covering his eyes. His shoulders began to jerk up and down… sniffles could be heard, and eventually, tears began to fall. _Oh no._

The two parents looked at each other in shock in silence, but Anna wasn't going to keep gawking at her wife like an idiot. Immediately, she reached over to run her fingers through Olaf's hair, her eyebrows scrunched together in worry. "Olaf, baby?"

Silence.

"Honey… I'm sorry. Did we do something wrong? I… I'm sorry that we've been apart for so long."

Olaf hummed, shaking his head.

"What is it? Is it me? Did you miss Mama too much?"

He nodded. _I'm getting warmer._

"You didn't like Mama being with Ms. Johnson, did you?"

He shrugged.

"Come on, can I see your face?" She paused. "Olaf… have you always wanted us back together? Did you miss us?"

Promptly, Olaf raised his head up, his smile contrasting with the tears running down her cheeks. Through his small hiccups and cries, he also giggled as he grabbed Anna's hand from his head and then placed it on his cheek. "Every night, Mama," he started, "me and Marshy would always wish on the shooting stars. My wish came true, Mama…"

 _Oh dear._ Anna didn't have the energy to cry. She didn't have any tears left to cry anyway. But, out of joy and relief that Olaf had been overcome with happiness, she reached over and kissed the boy on his forehead, her hand still holding tightly to Elsa's. This was something special. This was something she needed to cherish… and even she knew, Elsa would want to cherish this to the very end as well.

Her lips parted in a smile as she pulled back, turning to Elsa, then to Olaf.

"Mama, Mom… do you promise not to leave me again?" he asked, honestly. And although it was such a complicated question to ask… they both had a simple answer for it, no questions asked.

Elsa leaned back in to kiss Anna's forehead, which Anna accepted with great pleasure… and comfort. "We promise, sweetie."

"Mama?"

"I promise. I can't ever refuse my little boy, can't I?" The redhead took a deep breath and began to clap her hands. "Alright! Now that we've said it all, let's eat, I'm starving! C'mon, Olaf, let see who can eat the most bacon. We haven't done that in a while!"

"Really?! Can I get a headstart?!" Olaf beamed.

"Not on my watch, you little monster," she growled back, playfully.

 _"Anna,"_ Elsa's stern voice immediately froze the duo. Only for a short moment, when Elsa turned to her son, seeing how he pouted with puppy eyes, she sighed. "Alright, but there better not be a mess."

"YES!" they both shouted, Anna quickly grabbing the plate full of bacon and sunny-side-up eggs just for the two of them. "Ready, Olaf -"

"W-Wait, Mama!"

Disappointed, and hungered, Anna pouted like a child and groaned. She always loved having playful banters with her son. Still, how could she ever resist any second longer when Olaf's bright curious face was still on a rise? "Yeah, what is it?"

"I got a question to ask."

"Mm..." She eyed Elsa with curiosity, who merely shrugged. "Come on, ask."

"Okay, so…" He bit his lip excitedly, his eyes wandering between the two mothers. "Mama, Mom, what's a sex?"

* * *

It shouldn't have been so dreadful to just walk up the stairs to pick Olaf up from school. It shouldn't have been so hard to stay calm… to make sure that she had what Anna had said in mind - to not cause a scene. To just go as soon as possible. No, how could she? How could Elsa simply stay calm when her wife was hurt this badly? She had just begun to recover, but Anna… Anna just wasn't the same, and Elsa could sense that.

The happy-go-lucky personality that Anna had always put on was gone, and every time Anna tried to smile, all Elsa could see was how forcefully her wife was trying to make it seem like she was happy. Though, if Elsa ever wanted to tell Anna that she knew she was hiding it, then it would only hurt Anna further, and she didn't want that.

Especially now… while Anna was home relaxing, and Elsa had gotten up to the second floor of Olaf's school, all Elsa wanted to do was to resolve everything. Deep down though, a part of her sided with the feeling that not everything was going to end nearly well.

Luckily, it seemed like the classroom was almost empty as she neared the front door. In the very back, by the computers, with her back faced to Elsa, stood Olaf's teacher and Anna's ex-girlfriend. Her face burned with anger, but in silence, she walked in.

"Mom!"

Olaf came running to her, hugging the blonde. Elsa quickly turned her attention to her little boy, patting his hair. Although, knowing that she should be a bit more affectionate to her son right now, her mind kept her away from that task. The shout had even caught Meg's attention, and even without looking, Elsa could sense how sour and bitter that brunette felt. "Hi, baby. Are you ready to go?"

He nodded. "Mhm." His face fell just a bit as he turned around. "Ms. Johnson, may I get my bag?"

"Sure, Olaf." The teacher slowly got up and faced the blonde, her expression stoic. The air… was completely tensed up as the two glared at each other - and while it wasn't all just frowns and anger - the way they both gazed at each other emptily really described how each other felt thoroughly. It almost felt like even the students knew how dense the air became because almost everyone had fallen silent.

As Olaf slowly returned to his mother, he held her hand, staying close to Elsa. "Mom…?" He gazed up with eyes filled with worry. "Mom, may we go?"

The blonde swallowed. Her priorities were clear. She turned, bending to her knees to the ground in front of Olaf. "Why don't you go play a little while longer, okay? I have some things to discuss with your teacher."

"A-Am I in trouble…?"

"No, baby. You're not in trouble. and I… have some things to clear up." There was a feeling of unease as Olaf remained silent, and all Elsa could sense was the impending dread that Olaf wasn't just quiet for no reason. Slowly, she placed a hand on Olaf's back, fingers soothing his muscles. "What's wrong, baby?"

Olaf shook his head, his smile emerging. "Nothing."

This was it. This was something that Elsa had been waiting a long time to do - and while confrontation was never Elsa's strongest suit, she realized she was never going to get over what had happened yesterday if she wasn't going to say anything. Of course, it was obvious that Anna was definitely not going to say a single word either. As she watched those eyes burn through her back - showing no signs of anger or distrust - Elsa met with Meg's gaze for a moment.

"Go on, play a bit more with your friends," she told Olaf, standing up, meeting face to face with Meg, never taking the courage and determination off her face. And while she knew Olaf must have sensed something, seeing him hesitate to go away left her in a dire position - and, badly, she wanted to run as well. But she couldn't, and she knew she shouldn't.

As her words tried to escape, Meg slowly pushed past her shoulders, saying, "Let's talk in the office."

Even something as little as that sounded so ruthless and cold. Elsa wasn't going to just back down from that. Not at all.

Clenching her jaw tightly, she followed the teacher through the dark hall and into the light as the door to the main office opened. As always, everyone else must have left, and it was just them together. The atmosphere thickened knowing that.

And while all Elsa wanted to do was have a peaceful conversation, they both knew it was never going to happen. With the door clicked shut, Elsa eyed the woman blankly - not even a smile (although that would be inappropriate for the situation) - her arms crossed together.

Meg… almost looked bored. Uninterested. Rather than looking right into Elsa's eyes, she merely looked around the room.

And if that was Meg's plan to get Elsa worked up, then it was working. "What the _hell_ did you do?" was her first question among many others.

At that, Meg finally looked at her, still seemingly bored. "What? That's what you're going to start with?"

"You _hurt_ her when I specifically trusted you to love her back then. Do you even understand what she was going through last night?"

"Oh, she's the victim here? You weren't even there, Elsa, to know how much she's done me wrong."

" _I know."_ Elsa gritted her teeth, her pupils dilating with fury. "She's done you no wrong… she told you the honest truth - she told you she didn't want to be with you anymore, and this is your reply to her? She came to me _crying."_

"Oh, and she should," Meg argued back. "Because you're the only person that she ever thought about, while we were dating. While we were having _sex_. Do you really believe she was honest to me…? To _me._ She couldn't even be honest to herself, and it took her two months after reconciling with you to tell _me_ she didn't want anything to do with me."

"You knew."

The brunette scoffed. "Of course I knew… but I gave her the only love that she could ever have -"

" _Love?"_ Elsa squinted in confusion and exasperation, her arms loosening as she stepped closer to Meg. "You called what you had for her _love?_ Open your fucking eyes and look at how toxic you were to her. You knew exactly what she was thinking… and you just simply waited so that _you_ could be the victim… do you know how disgusting that is?"

"You speak like you're any different than me."

Elsa blinked, her throat rendered speechless. The fact that Meg could say something like that in such a nonchalant manner was what shocked Elsa the most. After all… the two mothers promised to forget about the past, wanting to start over… but how could Elsa forget that she had done Anna so wrong as well?

As she stayed where she was, Meg came closer to her, almost breathing down on her. "You think you're faultless in all of this." The woman shook her head. "The reason why she's like this is because of _you_. Don't tell me you immediately divorced. Don't tell me you didn't wait _six_ months in that house… being all miserable until it happened. You want to know 'disgusting'? What you've done was the reason why she has been like this in the first place."

"I _vowed_ to change. While you waited for her to admit everything, I gave her advice - I let her be because she needed to do this for herself. She turned to me… because she couldn't turn to you anymore… because I've changed _for_ her."

"Let's see how that turns out before you start doing the same shit to her again." She jabbed a finger against Elsa's chest. "Don't you come in here and start lecturing me about what I did because you have no fucking clue what I have endured. She can't take the truth? Then she shouldn't have lied to me in the first place."

Hearing everything coming out of her mouth made Elsa's ears burned, her own body trembling as if she was ready to punch the shit out of her, but she only stayed quiet because it was the truth - and the truth hurt. Though, out of the sheer need to pick up her own dignity, Elsa slapped the woman's hand away and grabbed Meg's collar, jerking the brunette right up to her face.

Her blue eyes that were once soft with shame was as sharp and cold as ice. Meg didn't flinch at all, which prompted a low growl from Elsa. "Talk about my wife like that again, and you're going to wish you hadn't…"

 _"Wife? Your_ wife? Your wife doesn't even know what she wants, and you're here to tell me about how I talk?" Meg scoffed, her fingers finding an immediately grip on Elsa's wrist. "You're no better. No, you're _way_ worse. Don't get angry and make it seem like you're a saint in all of this because the truth is… you're not. You can't _handle_ the truth -"

 _Slap._ "The fact that Anna hasn't ever slapped you astounds me." Elsa shoved the woman away, her left hand stinging from the contact that it had made against Meg's cheek. Though, while still, hauntingly quiet after Elsa had spoken, Meg was left speechless. Her expression was completely unfaltered, but right now, Elsa didn't care. She was glad to have slapped her. She was glad to find relief, knowing that she was the one person that had the guts to even do so.

Suddenly, Meg just softly chuckled, her hand pressed on her own hurt cheek. "See? You can't take the truth -"

"Meg?" Unbeknownst to both of them, the door had creaked open, and Hercules had just come in. The man merely blinked as the women turned to him, watching as Hercules frowned… watching as he neared Meg and placed his hand right her cheek. "Whoa, what happened? How did you…"

Meg pursed her lips in a comforting smile, only to let it disappear a moment after. Her eyes gleamed darkly at Elsa before saying, "It's okay. It's not too bad."

And for Elsa, confusion had drawn right onto her face. She eyed the two in silence - in shock - when the man leaned in to kiss her cheek, and she had completely frozen up once he turned his nauseating gentle face to her.

"Hi, nice to meet you," he outstretched his hand, "I'm Hercules. Meg's boyfriend."

Infuriated by the sight, Elsa completely disregarded him, her own face hot red with fury, her fists shaking on her sides. The courage of wanting to beat the shit out of Meg had been overtaken her disgust. " _What…?"_ she whispered, squinting in exasperation. The man turned to Meg in cluelessness… and even Elsa could see how much Meg really did not care for all of her wrongdoings. Elsa had said nothing else as Meg had walked closer to them, her hand searching for Hercules. Elsa knew exactly what this was about.

She shook her head in disbelief, but she knew she should have expected this. She should have known Meg was not up to any good… or that she hadn't been faithful. But who was Elsa to say anything? Who was she to say that it was wrong when she had done the same thing? Still, if she could let this go, she'd be a monster, and she just couldn't hurt Anna any more than she was.

" _What is wrong with you…?"_ she finally asked, merely a whisper.

"Don't even ask me that, Elsa. You know _nothing._ "

Elsa's chest felt like rocks had been crushing on it for hours, her throat constricted with the need to cry. Her heart felt like it had been crushed into a million pieces, and it wasn't because of the fact that Meg had been unfaithful… it was the pure fact that Anna would know about this… and the moment that she had just been fixed back up, she would be shattered broken once more.

Rendered speechless, Elsa took a deep breath, her brain wracking helplessly on what she wanted to say next. "If you ever loved her… you wouldn't have done the things that you did. You just lost all credibility and everything that I thought you were going to be for Anna. I never… _ever_ want you coming near Anna again. Don't you ever come near my fucking son ever again. I want nothing to do with you, and you better want nothing to do with any of us."

Not caring for whatever Meg wanted to say next, Elsa immediately pushed her way out of the office, stormed right into the classroom. She shouldn't have looked so frantic, but if she could just stop thinking about that _bitch_ , she'd look just fine. Leaning against the opened door, Elsa nodded to her son who had picked his head up from playing. "Olaf, we're going home."

As always, she always enjoyed seeing the smile on Olaf's face, but now… she couldn't even be bothered to feel happy. Her mind swirled to the moments of those past two months… thinking about how Meg had known all along that Anna hadn't felt the same way as she did… thinking about how Meg had treated their son. How badly… Olaf would be treated.

Still, Elsa had her doubts because otherwise, Olaf wouldn't be smiling the way he did.

"Okay!"

* * *

Coming home was almost exhausting, mentally and physically. She had tried her best to entertain her son, but all she was thinking about how to tell Anna the news. And from the way she was gripping the steering wheel as she drove home with Olaf sitting in the back, drawing on his notebook, she thought she was going to break it. A part of her, though, was relieved. Relieved that this was all over. Relieved that Anna had forgiven her. Relieved that they were all safe and sound, and back into each other's arms.

Once they entered the house, Olaf immediately dropped his bag on the couch and went straight to the kitchen for a snack. The whole floor was empty, but she knew there should be one other occupant here. "Anna?" she announced, "Olaf, I'll be right back, sweetie."

She strolled up to the stairs, peeking into the bathroom to see no one. Confused, she walked down the hauntingly quiet hall - which had been lit up, showing signs that there was life - and opened the door to her bedroom.

There, Anna was sitting on the floor against the bed, her redhead barely peeking out as she had been facing the balcony window. There was something so sweet and gentle with Anna just sitting there… only, what surrounded her were a bunch of cardboard boxes, papers, and photos. There was something so… normal about what they had.

Silently, Elsa slowly came up to her, disregarding how messy her room was or that Anna hadn't even turned on the lights in the bedroom. "Busy with something?"

Anna immediately picked her head up, her smile forming. "Hey. When did you come back?"

"Just now." She lowered herself to sit beside her, her eyes wandering. "What are you up to?"

"Oh, just…" Anna had a stack of photos in hand, flipping them through. "Looking through our pictures. Maybe I should frame the ones I put in that pile. They looked cute." She nodded to the left of Elsa, prompting her to turn and take those in her hands as well.

Looking back, all Elsa could see was the happiness and joy they had in that marriage - a marriage that Elsa thought she wanted no part in any longer. She couldn't see that happiness back then… she couldn't appreciate Anna's smile, and now, she realized the divorce had only made things more miserable for everyone.

She flipped through photos after photo of big events, small events, just the two of them being cute, being funny… being so in love. She shut her eyes, her throat constrained.

"You know," Anna began, "I never thought… you wanted me back. I thought you were done with me through and through, and all that time, I kept wondering what I had done wrong to make you feel the way you did. I mean… look at this," she showed a picture of them together, basking in the sunshine, laying on the grass with perfect smiles on their face, "it looked like nothing was ever wrong between us, right?"

"Anna, I'm sorry."

Anna quickly blinked, turning to see the heartbreak in Elsa's eyes… how apologetic she was. And those tears were rushing to stream down Elsa's cheeks like waterfall. "W-What? O-Oh my God, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings! That wasn't what I meant - I-I," she dropped everything that she was doing, her hands coming to cup Elsa's cheeks warmly, "e-everything's in the past now, Elsa. Forget about it. Please?"

Elsa shook her head, eyebrows arched and trembling with stress. "Anna, I…" She held her wife's wrist, and while tears still blurred her vision, she had her full attention on Anna. "I don't know how to tell you this…"

"What? Tell me what? Did I do something wrong again -"

" _No_ , God, no…" Elsa whimpered, and just after, she managed to gather herself together with a deep breath. "Anna, I… I talked to her."

Even without looking at her, Elsa could see Anna's worried look hardening with an empty expression. "Oh," was the only response.

"Anna… she was unfaithful to you."

Anna could barely look at her. No shedding of tears, no sign of heartbreak… it was just the mere blank look she had like she had expected this to happen. But deep down, saying those words meant Anna was broken once again, and Elsa could see right through that even if, with the very best of her abilities, her wife was trying to hide it. "Was it with that teacher?"

Elsa bit her lip, nodding. "Anna -"

"It's okay." She smiled tightly, mirroring the same action, her fingers combing back Elsa's hair. It was strange - it _felt_ strange to feel Anna being the one holding her, soothing her… because it had been Elsa doing that for the past few weeks. And, although, it all just seemed so foreign, she found comfort, knowing that Anna was still here. "It's all in the past," she continued. "No matter what she had done, it was me that shouldn't have been with her in the first place. Then, she wouldn't have been like this to spite me… to spite us. I'm going to move on, Elsa. With you, with Olaf. I'm just happy we're back together."

Slowly, Anna had pressed their forehead together, arms hugging Elsa, and without another thought, Elsa had done the same. She didn't deserve how forgiving Anna could be, but she knew, in order to move on, forgive and forget was the answer.

"I love you. I will always love you," Elsa whispered.

A prompted smile gently appeared, and those aqua-colored eyes met with hers. "'Till death do us part, right?"

"'Till death do us part."

"Mama?!" The two pulled away only to grunt and groan once their little boy had jumped right on their lap. His giggling quickly drew smiles across their faces, but all his attention had turned to his Mama. "Mama," he giggled, his hands placed on Anna's cheeks, "I missed you."

"I missed you too, you monkey," she roughly ruffled his blond hair, lips peppering kisses all over him.

"Mama, heh, what are you doing? Oooh… pictureeees…" His eyes gleamed with interest as he looked around the floor. "Ooh! Pictures of Mama and Mom!"

Elsa couldn't help but laugh as she let Olaf take those photos off her hands, finally settling himself to sit on Anna's lap, her wife's arms wrapped around the boy securely. For a while, they just simply admired him doing little bits of commentary here and there, studying each photo closely.

"Oh! Mom, is that Disneyland?!" His face brightened up even more as he showed her the picture, his hands waving in excitement. "You went to Disneyland with Mama?!"

The woman simply chortled, her fingers running through her boy's hair. "It was when Mama and I started dating. I never went before, so Mama decided to take us to a week vacation there."

"Whoa… Mama, can you take us there? Please? Pleaseee?"

Anna seemed to be a bit taken aback from how energetic Olaf was, especially for the evening, but how could she ever refuse Olaf? Elsa saw the shock in Anna's eyes glow softly as she stared at Olaf, but once they had met with each other's gaze, they didn't even have to say anything to each other to understand that road to loving each other was going to be hard. They still had a lot to learn from each other… and Elsa was completely committed to showering Anna with all the love that she deserved.

While Anna simply wanted permission from Elsa, her only response was to shrug in acceptance. After all, after everything, they all deserve a break.

"I guess we're packing our bags tonight."

* * *

 _a/n: wow... what a journey. epilogue coming right up soon!_


	35. Chapter 35: Epilogue

Being a seventeen-year-old guy still going through much of puberty, Olaf had a huge future ahead of him. Although, while his mother had a knack of being strict and making sure that he was on top of everything in his class, and _being_ the top of his class - or his school, no less - he also found spare time for extracurricular activities, such as soccer. Well, other than sports, he was just like his mother in the past - loving to party.

Of course, his parents would more often than not allow him to stay out late at night, but only as long as Olaf would call them beforehand and make sure he wasn't doing anything… _suspicious._ They really didn't want to find out what he had been doing. Sure, he had his freedoms, but he still had to live under their rules. It was their house, of course. A house they hadn't moved out of for ten years.

Then, there was his baby sister - barely five years old - Katie, who was… more of a nuisance than anything. Sure, like a big brother, he was always supposed to love and care and blah, blah, blah, but sometimes, when he needed a space of his own, he meant it. That didn't mean he was awful to her - siblings were bound to annoy each other one way or another. Well, he couldn't always keep that attitude up for long.

In the most unsurprising way, she was spoiled more than Olaf had ever been - or remembered, really. He wasn't sure if it was because his family consisted of almost all females, or what, but it would be nice if his parents would spoil him as much as they did with her sometimes. Plus, with all the good grades he had shown them, the least they could do was… buy him a car. Okay, maybe that was a bit too much, but the point had gone across, alright.

Coming home after school one day, Olaf was completely exhausted. His high school was just a few miles away, but even biking through the evening after sunset was too much. When his classes had officially ended, club activity was still another thing he had to attend to two times a week. Still, with so much to do every day seven days a week… he could barely handle keeping up with his club.

Wearing a one-strap backpack, he silently dropped his bike next to the two cars sitting outside of the house's garage. For a moment, he stayed where he was… and sometimes, when doing so, he would reminisce on all the things that had happened to him. He was just so little. So naive. But his parents would always call him wise for his age.

Searching for his keys, he looked down at the doormat distantly. Their divorce happened here. The abuse of his mother's ex-boyfriend happened here. The way his Ma would cry and weep in the living room when he always saw her smile happened here. The moving out. The silence of the house. But not all things had to end in torture. Eventually, when Olaf thought happy endings didn't exist, his parents had gotten back together, but the road to healing with the whole family was an incredibly hard journey. All these memories made him become the better man that he should be. He couldn't be happier.

But how could he ever forget it? Even though it had been ten years since then, it seemed like it was just yesterday… and Olaf had once thought that, maybe, things hadn't changed at all.

Clearing his throat, he unlocked the door and walked right in. The aroma of food wafted in from the kitchen. "Ma?! Mom? I'm home!"

"H-Hey, sweetie, I'm here!" the familiar voice of his Ma sounded from upstairs… followed by clashes of - what sounded like boxes - falling… and then a series of curses.

"Language, Anna!" his mother shouted from the kitchen. "There's a child with you!"

Smiling, Olaf dropped his bag on the couch before coming to the kitchen. "Hey, Mom. What's she doing?" He stood right next to Elsa, his eyes scanning the food that his mother had made. Gods, nobody could ever get used to how beautiful looking and delicious her food always was. Just from the first sniff, his stomach began growling, prompting Elsa to chuckle.

Feeling his mother's lips pecking his forehead, her fingers running through his hair, Olaf turned his attention to her. At long last, they were almost the same height - not ignoring the fact his mother was built like a tall statue. "House cleaning. But I'm guessing she's making more of a mess now than ever. How's school?"

He shrugged. "It's okay, I guess. I have some news for you."

"Oh? Good news or bad news?"

"Depends on how you take it."

Sighing, Elsa wiped her hands on her apron and grabbed a bowl from the top cabinet. "You know I'll always be proud of you. Is it news from school?" Her worried eyes still glistened with care.

"Kinda? I mean, obviously, yeah." He averted his eyes to the pot of boiling soup, but he couldn't ignore the sense of his mother's eyes glaring at him.

With the silence still going, with Olaf not saying more than she expected him to say, Elsa turned the stove off, her other hand squeezing Olaf's shoulder. "You always wrinkle your nose up when you have something bothering you. Come now, spit it out. Or does your Ma have to come down and get you to speak?"

Olaf chuckled, taking Elsa's hand off his shoulder. He opened the top counter, grabbing the few utensils and plates for dinner. "It's _fine_ , Mom. I'll just… talk when it's time for dinner."

"Well, it is time for dinner. Get down here, both of you monkeys!" she yelled at the two occupants upstairs. Seeing how his mother had been able to loosen up a bit relieved Olaf. She had always been a worrywart, always taking care of things in the earliest moment even when deadlines aren't even close. Especially, Elsa always wanted to make sure Olaf was the best at everything. Even health. But that was what made Elsa a great mother - and Olaf was a thousand times thankful for that.

Setting up the table, in the background, all Olaf could hear were footsteps stomping down the stairs. Then high pitched giggles echoed through the hall. _Here she comes._

"Owaf!"

With a big smile, the big brother quickly approached the stairs to allow his little sister to jump right into his arms. "Hey, sis."

"Owaf! I helped Mama!" she giggled, her small hands placed flat on his cheek. Gods, he could just feel all the dust and muck on her hands, prompting the young man to quickly pull away.

"Yucky, Katie. Why didn't you wash your hands?"

Katie tilted her head for a silent moment, and began laughing. Her hands, in a more aggressive manner, began patting Olaf's cheeks again. "Dirty, dirty!"

"Ugh, Ma! Mom! Come get her, Jesus Christ!"

"What, you don't like a little sweat, dust, and spiders on you?" The familiar sound of his Ma's voice sounded as she slowly walked down the stairs, passing the two children, but not without running her hands through Katie's hair. "Hey, honey, dinner's ready?"

"S-Spiders?" Olaf blinked, immediately putting his sister down. "What spiders?! Oh my God, get that shit off me! Oh God, Katie, get away from me!"

"Spooder!"

"Olaf, language! What did I just say?!" Elsa yelled. "And settle down, the three of you. I'm going to get a headache from all the yelling."

Gritting his teeth, he glared at his little sister who was already prancing away to Elsa. Sighing, he realized little kids - especially younger siblings would always get on his nerves. He had been a kid once, but he doubted he was ever this much of a brat. Still, with all his heart, as a big brother, he was willing to give anything and everything to Katie just so he could see her smile. That's what being a big brother was all about, right? The protection, the love… no matter how irritating some things could be.

Once dinner was ready, the family sat together - his parents sitting by each other's side, Olaf sitting across from them, and Katie just… waltzing around the house with food in her mouth. She was an energetic little girl, and luckily, neither was she a very picky eater when it came to her mother's food. In silence, with the background noise coming from the evening news on the television and Katie's obnoxious singing, Olaf began picking on his plate, eyes completely drawn to it.

The two parents looked at each other in silence, eyebrows arched in curiosity. Olaf continued to tap his fork against his plate, letting out a huge sigh.

"Uh… monkey, are you okay?"

Olaf immediately lifted his head up at Anna's voice, seeing the concern written on both of their expressions. Of course, Anna, especially, seemed to be the most worried. "O-Oh, I'm… I'm fine. Just…" He paused slightly, contemplating what to say, what to do… and ultimately, he finally placed his fork down, his hands getting under the table. "So… do you want the good news or… so-so news?"

Again, the two parents gazed at each other as if a stranger was talking to them. And not even a moment later, Anna slowly put her utensils down, folding her hands together. "Okay, let's hear the good news."

Well, the good news was easy to tell, of course. Smiling tightly, Olaf got up to rummage through his backpack on the couch, finding a letter in his hand. Coming back to the table, immediately he noticed Elsa's eyes widening, her mouth agape as her eyes fell to the single paper in his hand.

"Olaf, have you…"

Although, knowing that he should be happy, Olaf felt his heart was going to burst out of nervousness. "Here, for you."

Elsa was never an impatient person, but right then, she almost acted like a child opening her first Christmas gift, except it was a college acceptance letter instead. She quickly snatched the letter out of his hand with urgency. Of course, Anna was just as happy, but it had always been Elsa's dream for Olaf to go to the college that Elsa had gone to… and they both knew if Olaf was able to get into the top five colleges, it was just absolutely telling how smart their little boy was.

Elsa didn't need to even read the letter fully. The moment her eyes scanned to the word 'congratulations', her expression quickly softened. "Oh, baby, I'm so proud of you. Congratulations, sweetheart."

"Wait, wait, let me see!" Anna grabbed the letter from her hand, squinting as she quickly scanned her eyes over the paper. Once she was done, a huge smile crossed her face with joy. "Wow… Olaf, are you serious?! You made it! To Cornell!"

Feeling Elsa wrapping her arms around him, all Olaf could feel was the heaviness of his heart grow even more. The thing that he needed to say… was creeping closer, and even though he knew his college acceptance was a big deal, he wasn't going to be too excited because he was confident he was going to get in. Of course, his excitable mothers, also knowing that he was going to get in, still congratulated him in all the manner that he had expected.

"Oh, Olaf…" Elsa cupped his face with her hand. "We need to celebrate. Hm? What do you say? Where do you want to go? What do you want to eat -"

"M-Mom," he chuckled, taking Elsa's hand off him, "it's fine. It's just college acceptance…"

"Olaf, it's not just an acceptance!" Anna responded. "You're going to an Ivy League, Olaf! Aren't you excited?"

"Uh… yeah." He couldn't help it. There were so many things that were occupying his mind that he didn't even _feel_ excited. The happiness and joyful atmosphere finally died down, and Elsa slowly pulled away in concern.

"Olaf? What's wrong?" was the blonde's question.

Uneasiness began to quickly settle in. "Can we… sit for a moment? Ma?"

"Yeah, sure…" Anna responded, dragging each word out, as if, confused. Slowly, as they all sat together, the parents being the quietest, and Olaf's brain working to organize his thoughts, he gulped. Folding his hands together, he realized… this shouldn't have been hard. This should never have been hard when he knew how in love and wonderful his parents had been all these years. So what if Olaf enjoyed company? What if Olaf wanted to be with someone and have fun? Ah, that was exactly what he was worried about.

As gentle and pleasing his parents were, sometimes… things just couldn't get through to them, and Olaf had to get over it. But this? This… he knew he'd have to fight for if they refused.

"So…" he began, his voice cracking anxiously. "You guys know I'm seventeen. I'm almost an adult. Almost graduating. I'm gonna be a valedictorian as well. I think I've accomplished a lot of things, and I know you guys are very proud of me. I also know I live under this roof, so I'm happy that you're able to give me some independence to do the things I want to do, but within reason."

"Olaf, just spill it. What do you need?" Anna urged.

The guy puffed his cheeks out in a puff. "It's not about what I need -"

"Okay, do you have a problem? Are you sick? Is school stressing you out -"

"No -"

"Do you need money? Your mother and I could give you a bit, you just gotta ask -"

"I HAVE A DATE!" he finally let out, but it prompted nothing other than silence.

" _WHAT?!"_ Hands slammed against the table, prompting utensils to clank against each other.

"Whoa… what?"

The two reactions - completely opposite from each other had completely thrown Olaf off. Of course, his oldest mother would react like an overprotective mom, screaming that one word like Olaf was actually sick. Obviously, Elsa was the one person that he was worried about the most in terms of how she was going to react, and right now… it was just not a good start.

"Oh my god… you're _dating?!_ " Elsa scoffed. "Olaf, how old are you -"

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down, honey," Anna placed her hand on Elsa's back, still with a perfect smile on her face. "God, you know how your mother gets. Don't worry, we're not against it."

"Anna, how could you say that?!" The blonde slapped her arm gently. "We haven't even talked to him about… we haven't given him _that talk_!"

Immediately the boy blushed, knowing exactly what Elsa was referring to. "M-Mom, I have sex ed in school, it's fine -"

"Oh my God, Olaf, is she cute?" Anna interrupted, "When did you guys meet? Where?"

"Ma -"

"Ooh, have we met her? What's her name? Is she older than you? Younger than you? I hope she's younger -"

"Ma!"

"Olaf, I'm so excited for you! I thought your mother and I have to introduce a girl to you, but you did it on your own!"

"A guy…" Olaf mumbled.

Anna blinked. "A what?"

He curled himself up even more, unable to meet his parents' eyes. "My date… is a guy."

"A fry."

"N-No, a guy."

"What?"

"Anna, your son is going on a date with a boy -" Elsa said with annoyance, and for a moment, there wasn't another word that had come out of both of their mouths, and Olaf could already _sense_ the shock even without looking at them. Honestly, he felt… a bit ashamed. He had never said anything about his own sexuality to his parents - even if he knew they would always accept him for who he was, but there was always something so very scary about coming out as… well, he wasn't sure what he was coming out as. He never _bothered_ to label himself because it didn't _matter_ to him.

With tears nearly coating his eyes, he took the courage to look at both of his parents. As expected, they were frozen in their spot, looking at each other. "Are you… mad?"

Elsa softly placed her hand on Olaf's across the table, concern written all over her expression, but for a short period, Olaf thought he saw relief drawn in her eyes. "Olaf… is that what's bothering you? The fact that you're dating a boy?"

He shrugged. "I wasn't sure how you were gonna take it…"

"Olaf, that's… God, how can I say this? I… first of all, I'm proud of you for telling us. Secondly, you'll _always_ be accepted, baby. Look at your mother and I, darling. We would never _ever_ try to dictate who you're dating unless they hurt you, got it?"

"But… you sound like you don't even want me to date."

Elsa raised eyebrows and smile fell just a moment after. "You're _young,_ Olaf. I… I _know_ I should let you experience more, but as your mother, I just want you to be safe and careful." She turned to Anna, whispering, "We should've given him _the talk_ years ago. Look what happened!"

"Mom, I'm right here!" he groaned, rolling his eyes. "Ugh, I'm not… I'm not gonna… you _know._ "

Anna immediately gasped, slamming her palm against the table. "Wait, I got just the thing." Like a rocket, she quickly shot up from her seat, heading towards the cabinet in the living room. Though, even Olaf knew she was up to no good with how excited his Ma was. Curiosity still took the better of him - always - whenever Anna would be up and running with excitement. He glanced at his blonde mother, and while Olaf didn't feel particularly judgy, it was all clearly shown on Elsa's face.

"Anna, what are you doing?"

"Ah-hah!" She raised herself up, a small box laid in her hand. "I knew this was going to come in handy someday."

"Ma, what are you talking about?"

Finding herself striding towards him, Anna quickly winked at her son, placing the box right on the table. At first glance, it seemed like nothing, but the moment Olaf noticed the words "Trojan 'Bare Skin'", his ears quickly flared red with embarrassment.

"Olaf, you're a grown man now." She patted his shoulder, puffing her chest out proudly. "Your mother and I are getting old. Don't worry, we'll teach you everything that you need to know -"

"Ma! Ew!" Olaf swatted her hand off him.

"Anna, when did you even get condoms?! And, don't put that on the dining table, for God's sake!"

The redhead frowned at her wife. "What?! You're not gonna make him go in bare, are you?!"

"Oh my God, Anna." Horrified, Elsa slapped her hand against her forehead. At this rate, all Olaf could feel was pity for his own mother. Oh, he knew his Ma could sometimes be too much to handle, and the fact that Elsa was so tolerant and patient of that made him question how she could deal with his Ma for nearly twenty years now.

Swallowing, Olaf quickly recovered from his embarrassment with a clumsy smile. Seeing his parents' playful banter was almost always relieving to see. He had realized, in the past, the whole family was so dysfunctional, he was beginning to feel envy for his little sister because she had never experienced something so traumatic. And now, knowing that his parents would still cuddle and kiss from time to time gave him relief because at least, after these many years, they were still in love with each other. _In love and watching me grow…_

"Olaf?"

The man blinked. "Y-Yeah?"

Anna arched a brow in concern. "You know I was only half joking -"

" _Fully_ joking, Anna."

" _Fully_ joking about the condom thing right? Uh, we're not pressuring you to do anything. Just…" For once, Anna's expression grew stern. "Be careful, okay?"

"Y-Yeah, I know. But it's just… a date, man. I'm not gonna -" Oh, what was the point of even talking about this anymore? He always knew his Ma's jokes could get a little out of hand sometimes. He cleared his throat, switching glances between the two parents. "Uh, actually, I was thinking, you know… when I was younger, when you two were still divorced… I-I don't know." He wrung his fingers together in a nervous touch. "Have you thought of having… kids?"

The two parents eyed each other immediately, almost as if that question never really crossed their mind. Though, it was obvious that the question wasn't an easy question to answer, because, in a way, Elsa and Anna had been so wrapped up with the then-significant other that the thought of having kids with them seemed… natural. They could've had kids during their periods apart, having to fall deeply in love with their partner. Only, _because_ they were still so close to each other, they both knew they didn't want… kids.

Olaf was wary as he glanced between the two and only noticed how much Anna's face had fallen. The hand on his shoulder slowly fell, and she slowly came to sit beside Elsa. With eyes on the table, fingers anxiously knitted together, a smile slowly emerged.

"Let's see… you were about seven when it all happened. Your mother and I made a lot of mistakes… and the road of healing just took too long, but we endured it for each other. Kids, though? We couldn't do that to ourselves. Not to you." She looked right at him with all her love and devotion. "We were always looking out for you. Protecting you. Remember how you ran away from home?"

Olaf nodded with uncertainty. "Vaguely."

"I spanked you back then, despite my best judgment, because I _cared._ " She leaned over, ruffling his hair roughly. "Because if I lost you, it would be on me. Now how could we ever have another kid… if we couldn't take care of you? Hm? We had Katie… because we realized how fast you've grown up, and because it was just going to be a start of a new beginning for all of us."

Olaf nodded, and while… sure, he wouldn't understand much of their reasoning for the things that had happened and would happen in the future, but in his heart, one thing he was most certain about was the love of his parents for him. "I… see."

"Olaf," Elsa started. "Have you fallen in love? Is this why you're asking us stuff like this?"

He shrugged.

Sighing, Elsa took on his other hand, free from any hold. "You know, your mother and I were really young when we both got married. I always thought back then… it was a mistake. Now I know that it isn't. But if you are in love, we are fully out here to support you."

"What's his name, Olaf?" his Ma questioned, her expression as gentle as ever. Oh, there was nothing more that Olaf wanted than to see both of his mothers being happy and accepting of him.

"Marshall. His name is Marshall."

* * *

A/N: and that's a wrap, folks! I hope everyone enjoyed reading this fic... and if you all want, turn your attention to my most recent one 'crash'!


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